Chapter 4
Delphine was waiting for her coffee to be done. Images of last night still still flashed through her mind. Everything had escalated completely, not that she hadn't been aware of the risk she took when she allowed Sarah to come to her apartment. Sarah's perfume still stung in her nose, reminding her of the betrayal. She was amazed by the fact that two genetically identical organisms could be so different. Their bodies looked the exact same, except for Cosima's tattoo's, but felt entirely different. It was hard to believe that their DNA was one hundred percent identical. Nothing about Sarah reminded her of her girlfriend. Even though she wore Cosima's signature eyeliner and her clothes. Her eyes looked different, her gaze more intense and her kisses more demanding. She spoke differently, her voice a little throatier than Cosima's. Delphine had expected her to be confident but she was surprised at just how confident she was. She took what she wanted, her hands exploring Delphine's body eagerly, almost a little rough. She had never noticed all those small details before. From a distance the clones of Project Leda all looked the same but after comparing two subjects that close their distinctions were unmistakable.
Delphine let her eyes wander. The evidence of last night was visible everywhere. The empty whiskey bottles still stood on the counter, Sarah's leather jacket and Cosima's cardigan were still lying on the floor in the hallway and Sarah Manning herself was still asleep in her bed. Delphine didn't dare to wake her up in fear of the awkward conversation that would doubtlessly ensue. Her plan was to jump into the shower the moment she heard her guest move. There were still two hours left before she had to be at the DYAD. Nervously, she checked her phone but so far there were no missed calls or texts from her girlfriend. Their next encounter would definitely have been awkward but she had worsened the situation significantly.
There was still no noise from the bedroom when she had finished her first cup, so she decided to take a peek. She tiptoed to the bedroom and carefully opened the door. Sarah was still wrapped in the sheets of her king sized bed. Her hair formed a strong contrast to the white sheets. She was lying on her stomach, her shoulders and upper back visible. Delphine noticed her even breathing and let her eyes wander over the woman in her bed. She made a mental note to call her housekeeper later to have her change the sheets before she came home tonight. She couldn't take any risks should Cosima come to her place unannounced. With her hand resting on the door handle she allowed herself one last look before closing the bedroom door a little louder than necessary. Quickly, she rushed into the bathroom, carefully listening for any signs of Sarah leaving the apartment.
Sarah's body tensed as she heard the bedroom door open. She had been awake for a little while, thinking of an acceptable way to make an exit, possibly without encountering Delphine. When the door snapped shut she got up quietly as soon as she heard Delphine's footsteps fade away.
"Oh for fucks sake," she whispered as she dug through the bedsheets looking for her underwear. Eventually, she found it on Delphine's side of the bed, whereas her pants and top were next to the door. Having successfully managed to dress herself she proceeded to check her phone. Numerous missed calls from Felix and a text from him apologizing for not picking up. She decided to deal with him as soon as she was out of the apartment.
The sound of running water reassured her that the coast was clear and she stepped out of the bedroom. When she saw the whiskey bottles a smirk flashed over her face. She picked up the cardigan and jacket, checking for her purse and keys. After one last glance to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything she left, closing the door quietly.
"What in the seven hells happened last night?," Felix asked as she entered the loft. He was lounging on the sofa sipping on a cup of tea.
"Jesus Fe, I could ask you the same. Why didn't you pick up?"
"I was busy."
"Yeah, I can tell," Sarah scoffed looking at his string vest and leather pants. "Did you have a good night at least?"
"Can't complain," he pursed his lips and took another sip of tea. "How about you?"
"Is Cosima home?"
"She went to work when I came home, why?"
"Okay, 'cause I need to tell you something."
"Oh. My. God. Sarah, you bitch!"
After Sarah was done with her recount of last nights events she leaned back and threw her hands up in despair. "I know, I know. I feel like absolute garbage."
"You should. I mean, of all people… her! Jesus, Sarah," he paused," Cosima can never know."
"Believe me, I'd rather cut my tongue out."
"I mean, I don't mind you whoring around, you've always done that, but you really did cross a line there. And I don't mean just you, the both of you!"
"I don't know what to do, Fe."
"Forget about it of course. Forget that it ever happened, never mention it to anyone. Ever!"
"I'm not sure I can do that."
"Of course you can. The first few weeks will be awkward, but after a while…I mean, I would try not to make a huge deal out of it."
"That's not what I mean," Sarah responded.
"Well, what do you mean?," he asked
She didn't answer right away. Felix looked at her face but she kept avoiding his eyes.
"Sarah, what is it? Please don't tell me you fucked up even harder."
"I don't know how to say it."
"Say what? Come on, I'm your brother."
She took a deep breath. "I liked it, all of it. I want to do it again and I hate myself for that. There, I said it." She got up and started pacing the loft, nervously fumbling with her hair.
"Well… that…complicates things," was all Felix could say.
"I don't know what to do Fe, I feel like I'm going crazy. I mean, I can't possibly do this. She's with Cosima. Cosima loves her like crazy!"
"That she does," Felix slightly rolled his eyes.
"What kind of person would I be? But at the same time… my goodness, Fe… when I got into that car, I meant for all of this to happen. I wanted it. I interfered with my sisters relationship on bloody purpose. But I couldn't help myself…I…I…I just couldn't," she started sobbing.
"There, there," Felix got up pulled her into a tight hug. "It's okay. I'm here."
"What is happening with me? Isn't it enough that I'm part of a stupid human cloning experiment. Do I really have to fall for the girlfriend of one of my clones?"
"Fall for her?," Felix looked into her eyes in bewilderment. "Is it really that bad?"
"I have no idea. I usually fall for men. I have no idea what it feels like to fall for a girl."
"Well I'm not an expert when it comes to falling for people, but I suppose it feels the same regardless of gender."
"I can't be gay, Fe. I have a child."
"Just because you think you're falling for a woman doesn't make you gay. I had a thing for a girl once, turns out I wasn't straight."
"Oh shut up," Sarah chuckled and punched him in the shoulder.
"And as far a Kira is concerned, I wouldn't worry, she's growing up in a very colorful family," he added.
"But…," Sarah was lost for words.
"But what?"
"I don't think I can look Cosima in the eye ever again."
"Honestly, I don't see the good in telling her. Like I said, give it time and maybe talk to Delphine. I can't imagine she's feeling any better about all of this. Oh and maybe don't bring whiskey this time."