Chapter 10
I’m sitting in my living room, preparing myself to call Kelley. To let her know what I’m thinking, what I’m feeling. I scroll through my texts, stopping at Carli. I already let her know what I’ve decided to do. I read her response. “That’s great. Will you please call Kelley? She won’t leave me alone. I’ve gotten 3 phone calls and 5 texts asking about you today.” I roll my eyes. I thought Kelley was being patient. She’s only called me twice. Apparently she’s just been bothering Carli instead of me.
I scroll to Kelley’s contact and take a deep breath. This is stupid. I’m not talking with her about this over the phone. I look down at the ring I have in between my thumb and my forefinger. I guess I’m going to New Jersey.
I pack a bag for the next two or three days and go online to book the first flight I can. I leave in the morning. Sure, I could just call her. I could tell her over the phone. But if we’re going to do this then we need to start fresh and there’s only one way I know how to do that. I’ll never forget what Kelley did to me. But I can forgive her and trust that she’s learned and grown from it.
I stand up and approach the lake, looking out into the water. Looking out at the skyline, the orange glow of the sunset. This is it. I’ve made my decision and I’m committing to it. This is the beginning of what’s going to be a tough road, but I’m ready to move forward. I’m finally ready to start the rest of my life.
I bite my lips and take one final glance out at the water and I walk away, ring still in my hand. Kelley is worth another chance. I’m willing to take the risk. The worst that that can happen is she hurts me again. And if she does, this time I have plenty of friends to lean on for support. If she does, then I’ll know that she and I aren’t meant to be together. I need to see, for myself, what will come of this.
I landed about an hour ago. I’m finally on my way to Kelley’s house in the car I rented. This is it. This is where it all starts again. This time, though, I hope it won’t end. I pull into her driveway and notice her car is there, which is good considering I didn’t warn her that I’d be here.
I slowly walk to the front door, mentally preparing myself for what’s to come of this. I ring the doorbell and I wait. I wait for what feels like too long. I finally hear someone coming towards the door. It opens slowly, cautiously. “Hope?” She whispers when she finally sees me. She has a confused look on her face.
“Hope Solo. Nice to meet you.” I say, sticking out my hand. She furrows her eye brows and looks down at my extended arm. “What are you doing?” She says, glancing from my hand to my face. I sigh and drop my hand. “Listen, Kell. If this is gonna work, we have to start fresh. I have to learn to trust you again. It isn’t gonna be easy, but if you want to try then I do too.” I glance up at her from my place at the bottom of the steps.
Her eyes are wide and she hasn’t responded. She walks outside and closes the door behind her. “You..you want to try?” She says, slowly. Making sure that she understands correctly. I bite my lips and look down. “I’m not promising anything. There’s still a lot that we have to work through, but yes. I want to try.” She gives me a big smile, tears filling her eyes.
She runs down the first two steps and skips the last one, jumping into my arms and wrapping her legs around my waist. I catch her, taking a step back with the momentum. “Just remember that it isn’t going to be perfect. This doesn’t mean that we’re together. It means that we can see each other and see where this goes. I still don’t trust you. That’s something you have to earn back.” I whisper in her ear. I want to make sure we’re on the same page.
I feel her nod against my shoulder. I put her down and look at her. She smiles up at me. “Do..do you want to come in? How long are you staying? Where are you staying? When did you get here?” She fires out question after question and I’m unsure of which one to respond to first. “Woah.” I chuckle, looking down. I’m nervous. “I got in like an hour and a half ago. I need to go drop my stuff at the hotel I’m staying in. I’ll be here until Thursday.” I’ll stay for three nights.
She nods, looking down and playing with her fingers. “Oh okay.” She looks disappointed for some reason. I ignore it. “Do you want to meet for dinner later? I think that’s a good place to start.” She gives me a small smile. “Yea. I’d like that.” She says. I smile back at her. “Okay. I’ll text you and we can figure out a time and place.” She nods in response. I give her a tight hug. After everything she’s put me through, I should hate her. I shouldn’t want to see her again. But the heart wants what it wants and I can’t ignore the way I feel. And she feels perfect in my arms.
I’m frantically searching through my bag, looking for something to wear. I’m meeting Kelley at her house in an hour and I’m not ready at all. This is the first time in a long time she and I are going to dinner together. I have no idea what to wear. Kelley told me the restaurant isn’t that fancy but I don’t know what to make of that. I’m freaking out.
I call Carli and ask for advice. She’s always been the more fashionable one out of the two of us. “Just find something that you look good in but you’re comfortable wearing.” I sigh. That didn’t help at all. I finally settle on a pair of dark skinny jeans and a sweater, along with boots. This should be okay, I think.
By the time I finish putting my makeup on it’s time for me to go to Kelley’s. The drive flew by, probably because of my nerves. She’s waiting outside for me when I pull up. She’s wearing light jeans and a black jacket, along with boots similar to mine. She walks over to my window. I roll it down. “Do you want me to dri-“ She cuts herself off and pauses for a few seconds. She looks me up and down. “You look amazing.” I look away. “Thanks.” I say, nervously.
She shakes herself out of it. “Sorry. Do you want me to drive?” I shake my head. “It’s okay. You can just show me how to get there. I’m behind your car anyway, it’d be too difficult.” She nods in response and walks over to the passenger side to get in. I drive off and listen to her directions. Eventually we pull up to a small Italian restaurant.
“It doesn’t look like anything special, but trust me, their food is amazing.” I give her a small smile and a nod. We both get out and walk into the building, waiting for the hostess to take us to our seats. “It’s pretty in here.” I mention, looking around at the small lanterns that are on the walls. “It is.” She agrees.
We look over our menus in silence. “What are you gonna get?” I ask, quietly. She glances at me over her menu. “Probably some sort of chicken. I’m not sure yet.” I nod in response. We order our meals and give our waitress the menus.
“What have you been up to lately?” I ask, trying to start a conversation. She looks out the window. It’s beginning to get dark outside. “Nothing, really. Just been hanging out with friends when I’m not with the team.” She looks at me. “You?” I sigh. “Same old shit.”
“Did you..you know. Did you get with anyone after you left the team?” I furrow my eye brows. Get with anyone? What does that even me-Oh. It clicks. “Uh. Not really. I went on a few dates but that’s it.” She nods, slowly. “I figured you would have found someone else.” I shrug. “I’m not the easiest person to be with. I mean I pretty much scared them off within a few weeks.”
She rolls her eyes. “They missed out.” I glance at her. “Yea missed out on me and all of my issues.” She sighs, shaking her head at me. “Stop being so self-deprecating. You don’t have issues. You have a past, just like everyone else.” I shoot her a light glare, but don’t respond.
We get our food and make small talk while eating. I pay the bill despite Kelley’s protests. “I showed up on your doorstep, without warning. I can pay for dinner.” She begrudgingly agreed. We drive back to Kelley’s house, taking the backroads. We drove in silence for a few minutes before Kelley broke it. “I’m never gonna hurt you again, Hope. You have nothing to worry about. I know Carli is nervous about it, but I don’t care what anyone thinks other than you.” Carli’s nervous about it?
I look over at her from the driver’s seat. “She is? She’s nervous about it?” She nods. “When I called her, trying to figure out why you weren’t answering my calls, she said she was. I obviously assured her she had nothing to worry about, but she made it clear that if I did anything to hurt you I’d face the wrath of Lloyd.” She looks at me with wide eyes, faking scared. I roll my eyes at her.
“She would.” I smirk to myself. Last time Kelley and I were together everyone was warning me not to hurt her. Now it’s the opposite. I kind of like it, in a weird way. I glance at Kelley, who’s looking out the window. “This is it, Kell. This is your second chance. There won’t be a third.” I speak calmly, but with conviction. She looks at me, eyes glowing with the headlights of passing cars. “I don’t need a third.” She looks me in the eyes before I break the contact, looking at the road. I nod my head in response. “Good.”