Chapter 3
We beat Ireland with no issue. Abby scored two and Julie scored one. My backline didn’t have any problem holding off their offense. Monday was recovery day so I basically just met my requirements then spent the day in my room until we had to get on the bus to head to Carson, CA, where our next friendly is. Ali sits next to me during the bus ride. We both ignore Ashlyn, who turns around to shoot us a glare every 20 or so minutes.
Being around the team gets worse and worse as time goes on. They’ve become more open with their humiliation tactics. Of course, it’s not everyone who does it. But no one has defended me either, other than Ali. She tries to intervene when they start coming at me, but she isn’t always there. And even when she does say something, it doesn’t stop them. It’s nice to have someone on my side, though.
Every day, it’s something different. Tuesday it’s a shove in the locker room from Ash, who doesn’t like my new friendship with Ali. Wednesday it’s a comment from Carli. “You’re a piece of shit” is what she said as she walked by me in the hallway. I smiled at her in response.
Thursday was the worst of it, with an elbow in the mouth from Abby when she was taking a header. She tried to say it was an accident, but everyone knew otherwise. I tasted blood for the next 2 hours. I keep my mouth shut though.
I wake up at 5 on Friday morning and walk out to the lobby, preparing to go grab some coffee from the café. On my way out, I see Kelley, sitting on a couch in the lobby. I try sneaking out unseen, but we make eye contact. Shit. I contemplate ignoring her, but decide against it. I walk over to her, sitting down next to her on the opposite end of the couch. “What are you doing, Kelley?”
She looks at me, bags under her eyes. “I couldn’t sleep.” I nod. “Me either.” We sit in silence for a few minutes, neither of us knowing what to say.
“I’m never going to have another chance with you, am I?” I sigh, shaking my head. “I’ll never be able to trust you again.” She nods in understanding. “There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t regret it.” I look down. I don’t want to talk about this. I don’t respond.
“If I asked you for one more chance, would you give it to me?” I shake my head. “I can’t do this.” I whisper, standing up. She doesn’t try and stop me when I walk away.
I walk outside, needing some fresh air. I can’t let Kelley back in. Not now. Not ever. Like I said, I wouldn’t be able to trust her. I wouldn’t be able to be with her without second guessing everything she said. I shake my head. Why am I even thinking about this?
I start walking towards the café. Of course I love her. Who doesn’t love Kelley? She’s gorgeous, she’s funny, she’s the smartest person I know. But she also ruined everything that we had built together. It’s been 6 months since it happened and the pain hasn’t lessened. If anything, it’s gotten worse.
I have to see her every day. A reminder of what could have been. A reminder of what she did. A reminder of the constant ache that fills my chest. She was my world, at one point. Now she’s just a part of it. A painful, part of it. I sigh as I walk into the café. I have to protect myself this time.
I’m on a flight from New York to Seattle. I told Kelley I wouldn’t be back until next week, but my interview got cancelled so I figured it would be more fun to surprise her. I’d normally be filled with anxiety from being on this plane, miles above the ground.
Right now though, I’m nervous about something else entirely. Kelley and I have been together for 2 and a half years. I’ve never been more in love with someone. I’ve never trusted someone so completely, never given my whole self to another person. But there’s something about Kelley.
My mind shifts to the small box that’s in my suitcase, under the plane. I’d gotten it in New York after considering it for a while. I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life. I want to marry Kelley O’Hara.
My plane lands and I make my way off the plane as quickly as I can. I wait for my luggage and immediately check to make sure the ring is where I left it. I put it in my jacket pocket. I’m still not sure when I’m going to do it. Maybe tonight. Maybe tomorrow. Whenever the timing feels right. I’m not planning anything over the top. I’d fuck it up if I tried planning something.
I get in the taxi I called for and head off to my house, our house. I asked her to move in with me after we got home from London. 2 years ago. It was fast, but I knew what I wanted, even then. I shut my eyes and think about everything she and I had gone through. We’d won an Olympic medal together. We have Pia to thank for making us roommates. If she hadn’t, would Kelley and I still have ended up together? I think so.
I remember the first time I met Kelley’s family. They’re so different from my own. I was so nervous. Kelley had to basically drag me onto the plane to Georgia and into her family’s home. “This is Hope, my girlfriend.” She had said to them. They all hugged me, at the same time. Kelley laughed, knowing how out of my element I was.
I smile to myself, looking out the window of the car. I love her family. They’ve become like my own. Maybe I should have told them I was buying a ring? No. The wouldn’t have been able to keep it a secret.
We pull onto my street and I get my things together, getting out money for the driver. I walk into the house, pulling my luggage behind me. “Kell?” I call out, not hearing anyone. The TV is on and there’s dinner on the table so I know she’s here. “Kell?” I say again. Weird.
I walk into the kitchen, noticing the table was set for two. Did she find out I was coming home early? That’s when I hear it. “Fuck! Kelley. Oh!” My stomach drops. I take slow steps to our room, my room, afraid of what I’ll find when I arrive.