Chapter 12
The sun pouring through the window told Gerard that the day would be filled with his least favorite kind of weather, cloudless skies always made winter feel colder. The good part was getting to look at Frank, his Frank , with his hair spread out beneath him like a halo with the golden sunlight dancing on his face, his skin almost glowing with it.
Gerard felt a pang of guilt.
He had been neglecting Frank lately. He was grateful for his job, that was the understatement of the century. All he’s wanted since he was a kid was to write his own comic, and now he was getting to do it. But he had been leaving Frank alone too much. Gerard could tell that something was bothering him. It wasn’t like the night Frank asked him to hurt him, but his boy was still fidgety and nervous.
Gerard wrapped his arms around Frank’s waist, pulling his back close to his chest. It was really a crime to leave the house as much as he did now that Frank was finally his. His Frankie was so soft and sweet when he stopped ignoring his own desires and needs, letting Gerard care for him exactly how he deserves it. The older man breathed in the crook of his neck. He used to lie awake at night wondering what Frank smelled like up close, what he would feel like in his arms, and now that was Gerard’s reality. Every inch of Frank was his, his beautiful hazel eyes, every precious bone in his body, every drop of blood beneath his skin. Gerard gripped him tighter, he was already hard but he wasn’t planning on waking Frank up by grinding against him. Instead he nosed along the crook of Frank’s neck, breathing him in as he pressed kisses to it.
Gerard drank in all the little noises Frank made in his sleep, before he pushed the covers away and flipped Frank onto his back. His boy’s eyes fluttered a little before he succumbed to sleep again.
He had spent so long imagining what he would do to Frank once he was finally in this position, waking up with Gerard every morning and climbing into bed with him every night. A lot of his fantasies involved dressing Frank up, but Gerard wasn’t sure if he was ready for that yet. Frank had come a long way, and Gerard’s heart often felt full whenever he thought about that, but his boy was still so fragile. The older man pushed the hem of Frank’s shirt up around his collarbone and Gerard let out an embarrassingly loud groan at the sight of his body spread out in front of him. He straddled Frank’s hips and let his fingers trail all over Frank’s chest, tracing over the dark lines of his tattoos, squeezing the plush flesh of his pecs until the younger man made a small noise beneath him. His hands moved to grope where he was a little soft around his abdomen, almost petting him the way he would a dog.
That was another thing Gerard thought about. Finally getting to clip a leash to Frank’s pretty collar and leading him around. He dreamed about getting the younger man to keep him company while he worked in his office. He’d have him kneel beside him and rest on a cushion so he could stay there for as long as he wanted. He pressed his thumb to Frank’s plush lips as he recalled another fantasy he had, one where Frank would keep his cock warm while he worked. Gerard found himself giving in, subtly rocking his hips down against Frank’s while he rubbed his thumb across his bottom lip. He already missed the feeling of Frank’s mouth around him.
Gerard ducked down to pepper kisses all over Frank’s face. He didn’t just want Frank for sex. Gerard had enough meaningless sex in college to know that his relationship with Frank was more than that. He was more than just a sex toy or a warm body, but he would be lying if he said that Frank was hot. Sometimes it felt like Frank was made for him, every part of his body designed to make Gerard enraptured with him. Gerard loved him, but it was hard to not fuck him everyday, to bend him over the table instead of feeding him breakfast, to ditch work so he could make Frank come over and over until he was shaking and his face was wet with tears. That was especially tempting because his boy was so pretty when he cried.
Finally, Gerard’s lips met his. He brought his hand to cup his jaw so he could lick into his slack mouth. His other hand gripped Frank’s waist as he continued to grind his hips against the younger man’s. Slowly, he felt Frank start to kiss him back, letting out soft moans that he was too tired to hold back.
“Morning,” Frank mumbled against him.
“Good morning, Frankie.”
Frank loosely wrapped his arms around him. “Do you have to work today?” He asked as he let his eyes drift shut, his hips lazily rocking up to meet Gerard’s.
“Don’t go back to sleep,” Gerard giggled. “And no, you have me all to yourself, aren’t you lucky?”
Frank opened his eyes just so Gerard could watch him roll them. “I’m the luckiest man in the world,” he said sarcastically. “Now kiss me?”
“I dunno,” Gerard began to suck marks along Frank’s jaw, every sound he brought out of the younger man sent sparks through him. “I think we should get breakfast first.”
Frank tightened his grip around him. “No, asshole.” He gasped as Gerard bit him harshly above the collar around his neck. “More?”
Gerard chuckled but he obliged, placing bites along Frank’s neck and collarbone while he moved his hips fast, finally giving Frank the friction he wanted, but he knew by the way that the younger man was writhing beneath him that it wasn’t enough. His poor, greedy boy.
He sat back on his heels, ignoring the needy whine Frank let out, so he could admire him more, the little beads of sweat forming on his forehead, the way his eyebrows were drawn together, the way not only his face was flushing with arousal but his chest as well was a pretty shade of pink. Gerard needed to paint him. That would be nice, to keep Frank needy on edge all day so Gerard could immortalize him like this.
He was going to do exactly that but he was interrupted by a knock at the door.
“Ignore it,” Frank grumbled. His eyes were shut, but this time it was from the effort of resisting the urge to touch himself instead of exhaustion.
“It’s probably important.” Gerard got off of the bed and once again ignored it when Frank whined in response.
“What if it’s Mormons? You’re leaving me for Mormons.”
Gerard giggled, “Okay, Frankie, if it’s Mormons, I’ll let you do whatever you want today.” He said as he left the room. When he opened the front door, he was surprised to see Ray on the other side. “Oh fuck, did we have plans today?”
Ray shook his head with a smile but Gerard thought that there was something slightly off about it. “Nope, no plans, I just think we should get coffee together. It’s been a while.”
It has been a while. It’s been long enough since he and Ray last hung out that Gerard would feel bad about blowing him off, especially because Ray’s schedule was less flexible than his. It would be kind of fucked up to let his best friend drive all the way out here just to say no. So Gerard nodded and moved away from the door so Ray could come inside. “‘kay, give me a few minutes to get dressed.”
When he went back upstairs, Frank looked at him expectantly.
“You lost. I’m going to get coffee with Ray,” he said while he changed into clothes he could actually leave the house in, unable to notice the look of shock that crossed Frank’s face. When he was dressed he pressed a kiss to the top of his boy’s head. “You know the rules. Maybe I should tie you up. I don’t know if I can trust you,” he said teasingly.
Frank shuddered and sunk his teeth into his bottom lip.
“Would you like that?” Gerard asked.
Frank seemed to be genuinely considering it, but he nodded eventually. He probably expected Gerard to use handcuffs again, but instead he looked through the closet for a length of rope he bought not too long ago. The younger man sat up and placed his hands together in front of his body, but Gerard took them and positioned them behind his back and secured them with the rope. He pushed Frank back against the pillows and palmed him through his pants.
“Now, you’ll have to be good for me.”
Frank whimpered when Gerard took his hand away. The older man shushed him and kissed his cheek.
“It’s not that bad, Frankie. I’ll be back soon.”
_____
Gerard Way wasn’t an easy person to be friends with, but it was okay because Ray loved him. He had gained a new brother the night he met Gerard at a party in college and the guy wouldn’t shut up about Star Wars. And then he wouldn’t stop apologizing about getting chatty when he’s drunk in between fun facts he had picked up over the years.
When he looked at Gerard, he still saw the same nineteen year-old he helped walk home that night, who he scolded the entire time for trusting a stranger so easily. Gerard was hard to be friends with, but he was easy to love, that was the source of Ray’s worries. He stuck with Gerard throughout college. He stuck with Gerard after his parents kicked him out for being gay. He stuck with Gerard when his drinking stopped being a way to cope in social situations and turned into a monster that controlled his entire life. He stuck with Gerard when he got better. So, Ray had already decided on the drive to his house that he wasn’t going to leave him now, regardless of what Frank told him a week ago. He just needed to understand what was going on.
The Gerard sitting across the table from him was the same kid he went to college with. He didn’t leave the house in sweatpants anymore but he still drank his coffee the same way, and Ray didn’t think that he could do what he was about to accuse him of.
“So, what do you wanna talk about?” Gerard asked before taking a sip of his coffee.
“You and Frank.”
Gerard blushed, “You didn’t hear anything, right? I’m sorry.”
“What?” Ray had chosen to ignore the moaning he heard after Gerard went upstairs. “No, I mean. Yeah, but it’s your house. It’s—that’s not what I want to talk about.” He shook his head. “Um,” Ray found himself fidgeting with the napkin holder on the table between them. He and Gerard always got coffee at this diner. His house was so far away from the rest of town that it would be a waste of time (and gas money) to go anywhere else. “I came around last week to talk to Frank. I feel kinda bad about it because you weren’t there, but—well I don’t really have an excuse. I was just curious. That’s still not what I wanted to talk about.” Ray took a deep breath, he looked back at Gerard to see his eyebrows pinched in confusion.
Fuck it.
“Frank said that you took him.”
Gerard’s eyes widened.
“I tried to ask him what he meant, but he kicked me out. I’m not mad—well, I mean.” He sighed. “I just want to know what’s going on, Gee.”
He watched Gerard squirm in his chair. He was always a shitty liar, but it was usually endearing. He’d get over excited about a birthday present and end up revealing it, and things like that, but now it was just proving Ray’s fears.
“Is that why you can’t tell Mikey about him?”
“Yeah it is,” Gerard choked on his words.
“You…” Ray tried to think of the right word. Kidnapped and abducted made Gerard sound like a criminal, but that’s what he was, right? Frank acted like he wanted to be there. He was weirdly protective of his relationship with Gerard, but that happens with captives, right? Ray was having a hard time thinking of Gerard as anyone’s captor. Ray leaned forward on the table and put his face in his hands. His own coffee was sitting untouched and cooling. Peering up at Gerard, he folded his arms and rested his head on top of them. “Can you tell me why?”
Gerard looked around. The diner was empty. Even their waitress was outside smoking. “Okay. I met him at one of his shows. He sings and plays guitar, he’s awesome, you’d love him. I loved him immediately. I’ve never felt this way before, so I had to talk to him.” Gerard took another sip of his coffee. “It didn’t really go anywhere. I could tell that he was tired and he had shit to do and all his band mates were there and I couldn’t say everything I needed to, so I just started…watching him y'know?
“He was hard to stay away from. I spent all my free time watching him. I followed his band on tour, I watched them break up, I watched him at work, I watched him in his apartment.” Gerard swallowed, aware of how that sounded to Ray. “I was crazy about him, I’ve never done that before. I’ve never wanted to do that.” Gerard focused on his coffee again. “You didn’t see how miserable he was, Ray. He was almost as bad as I was. I just had to help him. Because I loved him so much I just couldn’t let him stay like that. I couldn’t deal with that shit alone, you know that. I don’t think anyone can.” Ray remembered what Frank had told him, that he was miserable and that he needed Gerard to take care of him.
It all just sounded wrong. When Gerard’s depression was at its worst, he didn’t need to be entirely dependent on another person. He tried to get that from Bert, but he was too flaky. He only wanted to be around Gerard for sex or to get high or for a couch to sleep on. “Are you sure it’s actually helping him?”
Gerard frowned. “You don’t know him. I’ve known him for over a year, you just met him. I live with him, and you spoke to him once and think you know what’s best for him. Fucking—even Frank doesn’t know what’s best for him. That’s why he needs me.”
“Sorry, I’m just worried, okay? I’m worried that this is bad for both of you.” Ray looked around to confirm that the diner was still empty. “You know what you did is a crime, right? You aren’t afraid of going to jail?”
“No one knows he’s missing, Ray. That’s the worst part. His own fucking family doesn’t care if he’s dead or alive. No one does. I took his phone, right, and he doesn’t get any calls or texts. From anyone. The last one he got was from his boss when he told him that he was fired. I checked the news every morning. It’s fucked, man. I’m the only person who cares about him.” Gerard looked close to crying, his big hazel eyes were wet with tears.
“I’m not going to rat you out, okay. I just want you to think about it. I told Frank that I care about him now, too. Because you care about him.”
Gerard nodded. “Thanks, Ray. That means a lot.”
Ray forced himself to smile. Gerard Way was a hard person to be friends with. But it was even harder for Ray to hate him. He wondered if this was how the mothers of serial killers felt, this weird urge to protect him even though what did was objectively wrong. There was something clearly wrong with Gerard, and maybe turning him in would make Ray a better friend in the long run. It wouldn’t be betrayal if Gerard ended up getting help, but he couldn’t imagine doing that to his best friend. Gerard had come a long way since he was the kid Ray met at that party, and he was proud of him.
So, Ray didn’t need to call the cops. He just needed to get Gerard and Frank away from each other long enough to realize how fucked up everything is.
And then everything will be okay.