Chapter 13
When Gerard came back, Frank was exactly where he left him. He wasn’t visibly hard anymore, but his face was still flushing beautifully. Shrugging off his coat, Gerard rushed to him and straddled his thighs. He giggled as he felt Frank roll his hips up, but the older man was sitting too far away from where he needed him.
“Gerard,” Frank pleaded while he cupped his cheek. He watched the younger man struggle in his restraints, beads of sweat breaking out on his forehead.
“You were doing such a good job waiting, Frankie.” Gerard gazed into his eyes, so wide and already wet with tears that he wished he could tear Frank apart. His hand crept under his shirt and Gerard buried his face in Frank’s shoulder to hide how he was panting because of how hard it was to hold himself back. He didn’t actually want to hurt Frankie, not in a way that was lasting, that didn’t mean he wasn’t thinking about it. About sinking his teeth into Frank’s soft midsection and pulling until the flesh tore and blood pooled around his mouth. And his boy, his sweet, precious Frankie, his angel, the lover he sculpted from clay, would make the same soft mewling sound he was now. Gerard settled for biting his shoulder instead, reveling in the punched out moan that left Frank’s lips in response. Once he regained his composure, he nosed along the crook of the younger man’s neck until he reached his ear.
“I wanna fuck you, Frankie,” Gerard sighed, “but I really miss how your cock felt inside me.” He shifted closer, finally giving Frank pressure where he wanted it. He was fully hard again and Gerard would be grinding down against him if he wasn’t focused on tormenting him for a little longer. He felt the younger man shiver under him. “You felt so good,” he absentmindedly mouthed at Frank’s ear. “I’m feeling nice, so I think I’ll let you pick.” His hand slid up to Frank’s chest so he could rake his nails along his side. Gerard was already dying to see the lines they would leave behind.
When Frank only whimpered in response, Gerard backed away so he could see his face. Frank really was angelic like this. He already looked fucked out even though Gerard had barely touched him. He considered his plans from earlier, keeping Frank needy and on edge so he could paint him, but Gerard’s restraint had been waning for too long. He pushed Frank’s sweaty hair out of his face and nestled his fingers in the dark brown locks. “C’mon, Frankie. Do you wanna fuck me?” He pulled Frank’s hair so that blown out hazel eyes met his own.
“Can’t.” Frank whined.
“Why not?”
“I wouldn’t last,” he whimpered, his face getting impossibly more red from embarrassment.
Gerard grinned in response. “Aw, how considerate. But it’s okay, Frankie, you’ll let me keep using you after you finish, right?”
Frank nodded. “Yeah, whatever you want.”
“That’s my sweet boy.” Gerard cooed before climbing off the bed and searching through the nightstand. He came back with a bottle of lube. Frank lunged at him and tried to undo his belt with clumsy overexcited fingers. Gerard giggled when his pants were finally pushed down enough for him to kick them off.
Gerard pressed two lubed fingers against his hole and Frank watched with wide eyes as they slowly slid inside. Frank held onto one of his knees and pressed it up towards Gerard’s chest and whined at the sight of his hole fluttering around his fingers.
“Gerard,” Frank moaned.
“You’re so impatient,” he giggled.
“I’ve been waiting all morning.”
“Yeah, you have.” Gerard agreed as he withdrew his fingers. He lightly touched the tip of Frank’s cock where it peaked out of his panties. “You’ve been so good for me, haven’t you?”
Frank swallowed back a moan. “Unh, yeah.” He sighed when Gerard finally pulled his underwear off. The older man squeezed more lube into his hand and slicked up Frank’s cock. With his other hand he pushed Frank until he fell back against the pillows. Finally, he straddled Frank’s hips and slowly sank down onto his cock.
Frank scrambled to grab his hips, his fingers digging into the soft flesh as he tried to keep himself from thrusting up into Gerard’s tight hole.
“Fuck, Frankie,” He moaned when their hips met. He teased the younger man by grinding in his lap until Frank planted his feet and thrusted up. “Shit, bad dog.”
“Sorry, did I hurt you?” Frank’s grip on Gerard’s hips tightened.
“No, I just thought you were being patient. You were being so good for me. But you’re such a needy slut.” Gerard started to slowly bounce up and down, enjoying the drag of Frank’s dick inside of him. “I should’ve tied you up again,” He angled his hips back and braced himself on his hands so he could move faster while the tip of Frank’s cock could hit that spot inside of him that drove him crazy. “Yeah,” he moaned, “then you’d just have to lay there and take it.”
Frank shook his head, his hips snapping up to match Gerard’s pace. He didn’t trust himself to speak without his voice cracking, and little gasps and whines kept pouring from his lips.
“Yeah,” Gerard purred. “I’d cover your mouth too, so you wouldn’t be able to talk back but I love all the little noises you make.”
“Gerard,” Frank whined.
“What are you close already?”
Frank shook his head, but it was obvious that he was lying.
“I’ll keep going if you cum, Frankie. I know whores like you don’t know any better, but you could at least try to hold off for a little longer.” But it was hard when Gerard started moving faster and letting out these high pitched moans that went right to Frank’s dick. The younger man pried his fingers away from Gerard’s hip and wrapped it around his cock, stroking it until he was sent over the edge. “Mmph,” Gerard was left shaking and panting in Frank’s lap, but the other man was still hard.
“Please let me cum, Gerard.”
“I don’t know if you deserve it.”
Frank whined in response, but mercifully, Gerard began to move again, squeezing around him until his orgasm was forced out of him. “Fuck, thank you.” Gerard giggled again.
_____
“Get the fuck out,” Frank growled as he approached the front door.
Ray put both of his hands up. “I just want to talk to you.”
“I don't think Gerard would appreciate you showing up when he's not here.” It had been a few days since Ray had interrupted his morning with Gerard.
Ray looked a little guilty. “I know, but—” he sighed and sat down on the couch and motioned for Frank to join him.
Frank sat down as far away from Ray as he could manage until the armrest was digging uncomfortably into his back. “Spit it out.”
“I love Gerard, right. He's like a brother to me, but I won't let him do this to you.”
Frank scoffed. “Okay, man. I don't really think it matters what you want.”
“What he did was illegal.”
“It isn't illegal for two consenting adults to be in a relationship like ours. I mean, what is it that you won't let him do to me? Fuck me? He said he's going to get a leash for me, y'know, for my collar. Is that what bothers you, Ray? That he makes me bark like a dog when he fucks me?”
“Shut up. It's not really consenting between you. Gerard told me that he kidnapped you.”
Frank shook his head.
“He's a shitty liar, Frank.” Ray pushed his hair away from his face. “I don't get why you're covering for him.”
Because I like it, Frank wanted to say. But Ray was right. It wasn't like he chose to live with Gerard. He didn't like being tied to a bed for hours on end. He didn't like feeling close to dying every time he ‘disobeyed’ the older man. And he sure as hell didn't love the broken wrist he earned. But the last thing wasn't really Gerard’s fault. Frank has had stupid fucking meltdowns like that before, ones that end in all the belongings he cares about getting destroyed and a few new holes in the walls. He hoped that it would be something he would grow out of when he stopped living with his parents and he turned to bar fights and one night stands to burn all the energy that builds up inside of him. But it didn't.
Frank was sort of grateful for it. It served as a reminder that Gerard still loved him. Because if he didn't, Frank would be buried somewhere by now. Gerard loved him when he was an asshole, he loved him when Frank lashed out, he loved him when Frank had that horrible itchy feeling under his skin and he was the only thing that could help. And he was the only one who did. “It's what I deserve,” Frank said while chewing on his bottom lip.
“What do you mean?”
Frank tried to sink into the couch as if he could somehow disappear completely. “No one is,” He swallowed and looked away from Ray. It was easier to speak if he just pretended the other man wasn’t there. “No one’s going to love me as much as he does.”
“You’re young, Frank. I mean, how old are you?”
“Twenty-two.”
“Yeah, you have so much time.”
It never feels like that though. “I don’t care. If I have to spend the next ten, fifteen, twenty years waiting for my life to get better, I’d rather just stay here. I still have to live through all those years. I’m the one who knows I’m unlovable.”
“I don’t think you’re unlovable.”
“Okay,” Frank rolled his eyes. “I don’t fucking know you, man. You don’t know me either.”
“I just think you’re making a mistake.”
“I care so much about what you think, Ray.”
“I know you don’t believe it, but I care about you, and I don’t want you or Gerard to regret,” Ray gestured vaguely, “all of this.”
“What am I supposed to do then? Leave? And go where?”
“There’s nothing wrong with living with your parents.”
Frank laughed bitterly. “If my parents wanted to speak to me, I would. I haven’t seen them in almost two years.” Ray opened his mouth to speak, but Frank cut him off. “I don’t have any friends either. There’s a reason why no one has reported me as a missing person. No one gives a shit.”
“You can live with me. At least until you can get your own place.”
Ray looked genuine when he spoke, but Frank was having a hard time believing that he actually wanted to help him. He didn’t hate his life with Gerard, not anymore, but what if that changed? Ray trusted Gerard, but he also didn’t know that he was capable of kidnapping someone until it happened. And Gerard was nice, he was sweet, but that was after weeks of being trapped in his house with no choice but to like him.
Frank looked down at the brace around his wrist. “Okay.”
Ray looked surprised at first but he smiled. “Yeah?”
“You were being serious, right?”
“Yeah, man. I can come back tomorrow and we can grab your stuff.”
“I don’t have any stuff, all my clothes are Gerard’s.”
“Oh, yeah.” Ray paused for a few moments before standing up. “Fuck it, let’s go.”
“Are you sure about this?”
“Yeah, are you?”
Gerard was going to get tired of him eventually, Frank thought. It’s better that he leaves first instead of delaying the inevitable. “Yeah.”
_____
Ray’s apartment was small. It was still larger than Frank’s old apartment by a mile, but it was smaller than Gerard’s house.
Speaking of Gerard, Frank was already starting to feel bad about leaving. He was currently looking through the want ads in the local paper. It was almost Christmas, so it was mostly retail places hiring, and Frank fucking hated retail, but it was probably the best he could do.
Ray was back at Gerard’s. He thought it would be better to explain everything in person instead of leaving a note.
Frank chewed at the ballpoint pen Ray gave him and tried to control his anger. When he first woke up in Gerard’s house he was worried that he was hours away from home and halfway across the country. Or worse, in fucking Bulgaria or something, but he was in Belleville. He was—at worst—a twenty minute drive away from his parents’ house. He knew Gerard lived further away in the woods, but it wouldn’t have taken that long to walk back to the city. Frank was just too stupid or too scared to do it. Or maybe he liked Gerard. He sort of cared about him. He had done things for Gerard that couldn’t be explained away with ‘I thought he was going to kill me.’
Not that long ago, Frank was begging his captor to hurt him and moaning like a whore when he finally did. He barely put up a fight. He gave in so quickly, and Gerard barely had to try. He was so fucking stupid.
Ray entered the room and glanced at Frank pityingly before he schooled his expression into something neutral. The pen he gave Frank was currently broken in two and leaking ink all over the newspaper and probably onto the table beneath it.
“Did you find anything?” Ray asked.
“The um, there’s a few stores in the mall hiring. I’ll stop by them tomorrow.” Frank replied. Ray nodded and set the greasy paper bag he was holding down on the table. “How’d it go with Gerard?”
“Not well.” Ray said shortly. He took two burgers out of the paper bag and a container of fries and Frank grimaced.
“I’m a vegetarian.”
“Shit, sorry. You can still have the fries, right?”
Frank nodded. He wasn’t very hungry, but he hadn’t eaten anything since he woke up and Gerard made him breakfast before he left. That was probably six hours ago, if he had to guess.
“Can you tell me what he said?”
Ray sighed. In between bites of food he told Frank, “I love him, y’know. But he’s so stubborn sometimes. When he has an idea he gets really stuck on it and he won’t let it go. He kept telling me how much you need him, and I don’t know. It was weird.”
Frank raised an eyebrow and tried to get him to elaborate.
“He really thinks he’s helping you.”
“Yeah, I know. He kinda was.”
“No, he wasn’t.”
“You wouldn’t know,” Frank snapped.
Ray frowned. “I know you told me that things were bad before he took you, but this can’t be better, Frank. You don’t need Gerard to take care of you.”
Frank nodded. “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry. Thanks for letting me stay here.” He finally started trying to eat one of the fries.
“Tomorrow we can go to a few stores and I can get you some new clothes.”
Frank tried to respond, but all he could think about was how all his belongings are probably in a storage container somewhere. Or they’ve been sold off or just thrown away because it’s not like they were valuable to anyone but him. He already had to sell his guitar, but all his clothes and books and CDs were probably rotting in a landfill somewhere. And that fucking sucked. Maybe if his friends cared enough to check on him, they’d have his stuff right now.
Frank continued to pick at his food while he and Ray sat in silence. “What do you do for work?”
“I do guitar lessons.”
Frank nodded. He wanted to say something like ‘that’s cool, man. I used to play guitar,’ but he just felt bitter.
“I’m also in a band, but we kinda suck,” Ray laughed.
Frank wanted to laugh too, but he had to keep himself from lashing out. It wasn’t like Ray had done anything wrong. It was Frank’s fault for asking a question that would end up hurting him. Ray made a living off the one thing Frank was passionate about, and he was doing well for himself. And Ray no doubt had several people who would notice if he was gone if he ever went missing. And—at worst—Ray had to give guitar lessons to snot-nosed brats, but at least he didn’t deal with old men who snapped their fingers at him like they would a dog or old ladies who talked down to him because they thought working in customer service meant he was too stupid to do anything else.
“We’re playing on Friday, if you wanna come with me and watch us.”
“Okay.”
“Awesome.” Ray said and finished his food.
Later that night, when he was laying on the pullout couch in Ray’s living room, Frank found himself wondering what Gerard was doing. He hoped the other man was doing worse than him. Gerard had to know that it would be hard for him to go back to his normal life. Hell, that was part of the reason why Frank felt like he was stuck with him.
Frank tried to bury himself in the covers to keep himself from crying, but it didn’t work. He missed Gerard even though he shouldn’t. He missed Gerard’s stupid laugh, he missed his stupid smile. He missed sleeping next to another person and soaking up their warmth. He missed Gerard’s arms around his waist or his head resting on his chest or his face buried in the crook of Frank’s neck.
He wanted to go home.
Home to Gerard.