Chapter 9
When Gerard came home, he was startled by how quiet the house was, but it was far from out of the ordinary. He always worried that Frank had somehow escaped or—worse—had injured himself in some irreparable way.
As he ascended the stairs, the sound of the TV in the bedroom became audible, and he breathed a sigh of relief as he pushed open the door and saw Frank huddled under the blanket, his hair splayed around his face like a halo and his skin almost glowing in the soft light from the window.
He toed off his shoes and watched Frank stir while he sat beside him on the bed. “Oh cool, Jackass is on.”
“Hm?” Frank hummed, looking up at Gerard before his eyes flicked to the TV. “Oh.”
“Have you been asleep all day?”
“Fuck else to do.” Frank huffed sarcastically. Gerard had reminded him since he moved upstairs that he was free to read any of the books or watch any of the movies that he owned. He pushed Frank’s hair out of the way so he could press his hand to his forehead.
“Do you think you’re getting sick?”
Frank looked up at him with tired eyes, fuck Gerard loved his eyes. They were a kaleidoscope of brown and sage, and he never got tired of looking at them. He considered asking Frank to forget his question so Gerard could press kisses to his eyelids. He wished he didn’t have a comic to work on so he could stay at home and watch Frank, spend the entire day drawing him until his image was burned into his mind permanently.
“I don’t think so.”
“That’s good,” Gerard made a mental note to try his best not to bring anything from work home to Frank. His boy could be so fragile and Gerard couldn’t risk giving him something like bronchitis. He’d never forgive himself for making his boy suffer, and he dreaded the thought of letting a hospital look after him.
Gerard pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. He wished he could devour Frank sometimes. He needed to make his precious boy entirely his. Separating him from the rest of the world was enough—it had to be—but it didn’t stop Gerard from yearning. Frank was entirely his now. Gerard kissed him again, licking roughly into his mouth and shifting to lie on top of him. Frank gasped beneath him before the older man felt him melt into it. Fuck, Frank was his. His precious boy, his lost lamb belonged to him entirely. Gerard cupped his face and deepened the kiss, before quickly pulling away, leaving a slightly dazed Frank on the bed. Gerard almost regretted it, his Frankie was so sweet like this, so soft, so pliant. Kissing always made him like that.
“I have a gift for you, okay? Just stay there.” Gerard got off the bed and raced out of the bedroom and into his office. He dug around his pockets for his keys, thankful that he didn’t leave them upstairs and unlocked one of the drawers in the desk. He felt around for the sleek black box he knew was there, and when he found it, he returned back to Frank who was now sitting up in the bed.
“Maybe it’s a little early for this,” Gerard said nervously, “but you deserve to know how much you mean to me. I mean, I love you, I’ve told you that I love you, but you’re so goddamn stubborn, Frankie.” He laughed. “I love that about you, I love everything about you,” he handed Frank the box.
*****
Frank hesitated before pulling off the top. It was another collar, a rich burgundy instead of the pale pink one he was used to wearing. And unlike the first collar Gerard had given him, it was completely plush on the inside, devoid of prongs that dug into his neck that were used to incapacitate him. He held the silver tag between his fingers. On the front, it said “Frankie,” and on the back it read “If lost, return to G. Way.”
“You’re mine, okay? After everything that happened, maybe it’s too early to give you a new collar, but you aren’t an ungrateful mutt anymore, Frankie. You’re so precious to me, and I know that if anything happens you’ll always come back. I’ll always find a way back to you.”
Frank gazed up at him. He wasn’t sure when the two voices in his head had switched places, when his rationality had become an annoying fly buzzing in his ear reminding him that what Gerard said was wrong, that Frank should leave this as an opportunity to leave, that this was what he had been waiting for. Gerard trusted him enough to mistakenly grant him freedom.
But that wasn’t the dominant voice in his head anymore. Now, all Frank wanted was to pull Gerard close and thank him for putting up with him, for knowing that he needed to show Frank how much he loved him, that a new collar would be a perfect reminder of that.
“Thank you, Gerard,” he whispered, unsure of when he had started crying.
Gerard cradled his head, drying his tears with his thumb, “Don’t cry, Frankie.”
“I’m just happy, it’s weird. Fuck—I don’t know why I’m crying,” he laughed. “Put it on me?”
Gerard grinned, and Frank felt his stomach flip. He was beautiful. Sure there had been times where Frank thought the other man was attractive, but that was an understatement. Gerard was gorgeous. Frank felt his face heat up as Gerard reached behind his neck to unlock his collar. He let it fall unceremoniously onto the bed and replaced it with the new one, using his fingers to make sure it wasn’t too tight around Frank’s throat.
“Now, you’re mine forever, Frank.”
Frank surged to kiss him before he could start crying again. He wrapped his arms around Gerard’s neck. He wanted him as close as possible. “Fuck me,” he said, pulling back.
Gerard’s breath hitched, “Are you sure?”
The rational voice in Frank’s head was screaming at him. It asked him when he got so weak, so stupid, to ask that of Gerard. But Frank was exhausted, his life before Gerard had been exhausting and resisting him had only worsened it. Giving in was always easier. Giving in felt so much better. Frank used to spend nights alone in his apartment wishing for death. Gerard’s mouth is sweeter than death. His body was softer than succumbing to nothingness. So Frank told the rational voice in his head that this was better. He wasn’t longing for death anymore, just for Gerard.
“I need you, Gerard,” he clutched at Gerard’s shirt. He wanted it gone so there were no more barriers left between them.
Gerard seemed to understand and unbuttoned his waistcoat and the shirt under it and shrugged them off. Frank discarded his own, tossing it onto the floor. He straddled Gerard and kissed him hungrily, moaning when he felt the other man grope his chest. Frank never realized how sensitive he was before Gerard. It made his chest light up knowing how much he cared about making Frank feel good, how much he cared about Frank at all. He grabbed Gerard’s wrist, urging him to touch his nipples, and grinded his hips down when he obliged.
Frank knew he was making embarrassing noises, but Gerard loved him, so it was okay. He was needy and finally giving into it and it was okay because Gerard loved him even when he was needy. He loved him all the time. Frank grasped uselessly at Gerard’s back with his injured hand.
“Need you, now. Gerard please,” he whimpered.
The older man ignored him, choosing to press kisses along his jaw and neck instead. Frank writhed on top of him until Gerard finally took pity on him and palmed him through his sweatpants, but it wasn’t enough. “Gerard,” Frank whined.
“Be patient. I wanna take my time with this, okay?” Gerard said, and Frank found it hard to disagree with him. Gerard’s pupils were wide with adoration—adoration for Frank—and that was enough to satiate him for the time being.
Frank nodded. Gerard grinned. “There’s my Frankie. Such a good boy.” He pulled Frank’s pants down as far as possible with his thighs spread and gasped at the sight of him hard in his panties. Gerard fought the urge to press his mouth to the wet spot that had formed and traced it with his finger instead.
Frank bit back a moan as Gerard continued to tease the head of his cock through the soft fabric. More playing with him than grasping, the older man lightly stroked him, and Frank couldn’t stand not kissing him anymore. He settled for open-mouthed kisses along Gerard’s neck as the other seemed more concerned with torturing Frank with feather-light touches. Frank ducked his head, panting against Gerard’s collarbone.
“Please, I’m so—” Frank yelped as Gerard tapped his balls with the palm of his hand, not enough to hurt but just enough to stave off his orgasm. He moaned as his cock throbbed in his underwear. “Need you to fuck me. Now, please please please.” He babbled while Gerard finally pushed him back onto the bed and freed him of his pants and underwear.
The older man settled between his thighs and took a moment to admire him, surveying Frank’s painted skin with a heavy gaze. He ducked down and traced the ‘and’ on his stomach and Frank couldn’t stop himself from whimpering, wishing that he was lower. Frank’s pleas were fulfilled, though it wasn’t exactly what he wanted. Gerard planted kisses on his hips and thighs before he pushed his legs up, leaving Frank’s hole exposed.
Frank’s jaw dropped as he watched a string of saliva drip from Gerard’s reddened lips, unable to keep from throwing his head back when it finally hit his hole.
“God, you’re perfect. You don’t even realize it, Frankie,” Gerard said while spreading the wetness around Frank’s rim. He eased a finger in without resistance, “Fuck, you’re so hungry for it, aren’t you?”
“Need it.”
Gerard idly rocked his finger in and out. “What do you need, baby?”
“You,” Frank choked as Gerard pulled out to add another finger.
“Me? Why do you need me, Frankie?” He said playfully, ignoring how tears had begun to form in Frank’s eyes. The other man was actively avoiding his prostate, but being full after so much teasing was already overwhelming.
“Need you to fuck me, please Gerard.”
“But I am, silly.”
Frank sobbed when Gerard eased a third finger into him. “Need your cock.”
The younger man almost started crying when Gerard pulled away completely.
“Don’t worry, I’m just getting lube,” he said, but Frank couldn’t stand being empty any longer. He absentmindedly pumped his own three fingers in and out of his hole.
Gerard tsked when he returned to the bed. He pulled Frank's hand away, ignoring how the younger man whined in response. “You know that’s against the rules, Frank.”
“Sorry,” Frank had forgotten that only Gerard had decided how much pleasure he received. “I just—”
“I know,” he cooed, “you’re just a greedy little slut. Your hole can’t be empty for a second, can it?”
Frank felt tears welling up in his eyes as he shook his head.
“That’s okay, Frankie,” he said, uncapping the lube and spreading it along his dick. And then Gerard finally lined up the tip with Frank’s hole, thrusting in slowly until his hips were kissing Frank’s.
Frank scrambled to hold onto him, wrapping his arms around Gerard’s neck as he started moving his hips. “Fuck yeah. Needed this, needed you so bad. Thank you—fuck—thank you.” He babbled as Gerard pounded against his prostate repeatedly. He had been ready to cum since the two had started kissing. He didn’t want this to end though, he wished Gerard would stay inside him afterwards.
“You feel so fucking good, Frankie, love you. My pretty boy, my star, my lamb, my Frankie—fuck!”
“Yours, I’m yours, oh God—” Frank moaned as he finally came, his cum painting his stomach in stripes. Gerard followed him soon after, pulled over the edge by Frank’s words.
*****
The following days were easy. So easy that Frank’s skin had begun to crawl. Gerard had to go into the office the next two days, leaving Frank alone in their bedroom to watch shitty daytime television until he came back. The day after that, Gerard locked himself in his office. Frank knew why he wasn’t allowed in there with him, but it made his heart ache. If he hadn’t been so stupid he could probably be there now, watching Gerard work instead of being stuck outside the door.
It was easier than fighting constantly, it was easier than being tied to a bed with nothing to entertain him except his thoughts, and it was easier than being completely alone, but it made Frank itchy.
The following day, Gerard was able to take a break from working.
“I had to rework a lot after the meeting,” he explained. He and Frank were resting on the sofa in the living room, a room Frank rarely stepped foot in because it was downstairs and far too close to the front door. Though it was visible from the kitchen, in the living room Frank was only a few feet away. Before Gerard had gifted him with a new collar, he was afraid of accidentally setting his old one off, afterwards he had no desire to go anywhere near the door.
“Like what?”
“I guess I haven’t told you about my comic a lot yet. I’m really protective of it, um which is kinda bad since it’ll be published by the end of next year if I’m lucky. “It’s a lot like X-Men, or really it’s more like Doom Patrol. It’s about a dysfunctional family of superheroes.”
Frank snuggled closer to show that he was paying more attention to Gerard than whatever shitty movie was playing on the TV in front of them.
“And what you did was kind of a good thing, I guess. Because I was so protective of it, the stuff the publishers want me to change isn’t so precious anymore.”
Frank wasn’t sure what to say. But before he had a chance to speak, the doorbell rang.
“Don’t worry about it,” Gerard said.
Frank tilted his head to look up at him, he was terrified but Gerard looked calm. That was reassuring enough for him to sink back into his embrace.
The doorbell rang again, “Open up, Way. I know you’re in there. Your car’s in the driveway.” A voice from outside said.
This time Gerard looked terrified. “Shit.”
“What?”
“You need to—”
Before Gerard could finish, the door was opening, revealing a tall man who seemed to be around Gerard’s age with brown curly hair, who—for some reason—was holding two casserole dishes.
“Did you forget I had a key, asshole?” He said before he flinched at the sight of Frank and Gerard on the couch.
“Hi, Ray, this is Frank.” He said sheepishly. “Frank, that’s Ray.”