Denial
“…lastly, make sure you pay attention to your scheduled day to visit Dr. Griffin, which will be tied into your post-workout treatment schedules,” Dawn said, glancing around the room at the players.
Jill nodded and stepped forward. “Ok, that’s all we have for today. See you all in a few hours for team dinner,” she said, and turned off the projector that held the week’s schedule on the wall.
Lexa briefly acknowledged everyone around her starting to talk again, but her eyes where still locked on the girl she now knew as Clarke, standing with Dawn’s assistant, Raven.
Holy shit the girl was beautiful.
Lexa couldn’t even remember the last time she had experienced immediate feelings for someone she just met (that was a lie, she could remember exactly the last time it had happened—it was her senior year of high school and Costia had been new in town, and they had fallen into a relationship quickly, one that ended rather abruptly as Lexa devoted more time to soccer and according to her ex-girlfriend, less time to their relationship).
Lexa had been devastated when Costia had broken up with her, though when she looks back on it she was sort of surprised their relationship had lasted as long as it did—Costia had broken up with Lexa during their sophomore year. She had been in the heart of soccer season, thriving at UNC while Costia was across the country, studying media studies at Berkeley.
Costia didn’t understand why Lexa spent so many hours training, why she devoted so much time to a sport.
She didn’t understand why Lexa had decided to give so much of her life to soccer.
And Lexa had been heartbroken.
And then she had gotten her first call up to the senior national team. And there was no time to be heartbroken after that.
So she pushed the feelings down, adapting the stoic façade of The Commander. Between Anya at UNC with her and her new teammates on the National Team, slowly but surely Lexa’s heart had been mended, until it was all patched up, replaced by her love for club and country and soccer and everything it had brought her. Soccer had broken her heart plenty of times, but it had also brought her the highest form of happiness she had ever known.
She didn’t have to worry about heartbreak when she had Carli Lloyd showing her the ropes, or when she had Alex Morgan analyzing her play, or Becky Sauerbrunn helping her find the best way to approach a situation.
Thoughts of love, and thoughts of Costia, were firmly rooted in the back of her mind, behind a closed door that screamed STAY AWAY, only cracked open during small moments of longing, when she watched Alex and Tobin’s easy relationship, balancing their children with their national team responsibilities, or when Ashlyn and Ali’s kids ran towards her after a game, leaping into the air, ignoring their parent’s scolding because they knew without a doubt that their beloved Auntie Lexa would catch them.
Which is why Lexa’s typical, calm demeanor had immediately vanished when she saw Clarke. She was so caught off guard by the intensity of the feelings that drew her to the doctor, Lexa seemed to revert back to her default self, which according to her teammates, was a huge fucking dork.
“Lexa? You ok?”
She shook her head, turning to see Octavia give her a questioning look.
“What? Yes, I’m fine,” Lexa replied, standing up quickly, Octavia following.
“Ok…you kind of spaced out there for a second,” Octavia said.
Lexa opened her mouth to respond, but was cut off by a voice, the same one that had her so flustered only moments before.
“Hey, O!”
Lexa turned to see Clarke walking towards the two of them, and oh shit her eyes were even more blue up close, and why was she walking towards them with that smile on her face—
Lexa’s thoughts were interrupted as Clarke’s opened up her arms, laughing as Octavia launched herself at the doctor.
“Whoa, new girl knows the doc, huh?” Lexa heard, and turned to see Alex and Tobin standing beside her.
“Uhh—what?” Lexa heard herself saying.
How did the new girl know this glorious goddess?
“Knows her very well,” she heard Anya add, and turned to see Anya quirk her eyebrow as Clarke spun the young forward around.
“Glad to see you finally made it here, Princess,” she heard Octavia say, her voice only slightly muffled by her face buried in Clarke’s neck.
“Yeah, yeah,” Clarke said, rolling her eyes.
“Hey, what about me?” Raven asked, tapping her cane on the ground impatiently as she joined the group.
Octavia grinned before hugging Raven as well, giving her a resounding smack on the cheek as Clarke rolled her eyes, smiling fondly at the two.
“So needy, Reyes,” Clarke said, but at the same time took a step closer to Raven and wrapped her arm around the girl’s waist, allowing Raven to lean slightly into her rather than the cane in her hand.
Clarke turned to the soccer players then, blue eyes sparkling and Lexa felt her breath hitch and just knew that Alex, Tobin and Anya were giving her a strange look because of the uncharacteristic display of nerves she was showing.
“Sorry for interrupting. We just wanted to say hi to Octavia before Raven and I went to meet with the rest of the staff,” she said, running the hand not wrapped around Raven through her hair.
“Clarke, this is—” Octavia began, gesturing to the group of soccer players in front of them.
“Oh I know who you all are,” Clarke cut in, interrupting her friend. “Alex Morgan, one of the fastest players on the team and well on her way to beating Abby Wambach’s record.”
Alex raised her eyebrow at that, but shook Clarke’s outstretched hand with a grin.
“Tobin Heath, most technical player in the world,” Clarke continued, smiling at Tobin whose ears turned a light shade of red as Alex laughed, nudging her wife.
Clarke turned to Anya now, who was intrigued to see what the blonde doctor would say next. “Anya Woods, goal keeper who stepped in and blocked the shot from Germany to keep them from advancing to the semis last year.”
And then Clarke turned to Lexa, and blue met green, and Lexa swears she felt her heart skip a beat as Clarke directed that radiant smile towards her. “Lexa Woods, youngest on the team called up before the Olympics. The attacking mid position is your specialty.” Lexa’s eyes darted down to Clarke’s outstretched hands and back to the doctor’s eyes, the smile on Clarke’s face never faltering, even as an awkward silence stretched on as Clarke waited for Lexa to shake her hand.
A nudge from Anya reminded Lexa that yes, she has in fact successfully managed social interaction with beautiful girls before. But her internal freak out plus the realization that all eyes were still on her meant that instead of Lexa doing the normal thing, like shaking Clarke’s hand, she instead reached out and slapped the doctor’s palm.
She heard Anya, Tobin and Alex stifling their laughter next to her.
Octavia looked like she was trying to hold in laughter as well.
Raven had no such qualms, and was actually laughing out loud.
And Clarke, beautiful, blue-eyed Clarke, was giving her an amused smile.
Lexa wanted to bury herself in a hole and stay there for a while.
She had just given Clarke a high five.
Tobin, taking pity on the younger girl, cleared her throat. “So, how do you know Clarke and Raven, Octavia?”
“Griff and Reyes?” Octavia asked, a twinkle in her eye. She threw an arm around Clarke’s shoulders. “They’ve been my best friends since we were ten.”
“Wow, and all three of you are here?” Alex asked, impressed.
“Yup,” Raven nodded, smirking. “We’re just all kinds of awesome.”
Clarke snorted lightly, shaking her head. “When we first met we all bonded over soccer. Raven and I stopped playing after high school, but O went on to play in college, obviously,” she said. “Now, we’re just her biggest fans.”
“Nah, these two have their own brilliance going on,” Octavia said, and everyone could notice the pride in her voice as she spoke fondly of her best friends. “Griff is one of the youngest doctors ever to be promoted to resident, and Raven is literally a certified genius.”
“I’m brilliant, shhh,” Raven said, winking.
“What made you want to be here then?” Anya asked. “I mean, no offense. But if you’re as smart as Octavia says…”
Clarke shook off the comment, grinning widely. “Well, we love soccer,” she said simply, shrugging.
“And Clarke just really wanted her Lexa Woods jersey signed,” Raven added, snickering.
Lexa, who had been trying to turn invisible after giving Clarke a high five, smiled at the comment as she watched a slight blush creep over the doctor’s face.
“Shut up, Raven,” Clarke said, scowling.
“But I saw it in your bag when I—”
“Well, it was nice to officially meet you all, but we really have to go meet with the staff now,” Clarke interrupted, covering Raven’s mouth with her hand. She smiled at the soccer players, dropped a kiss on Octavia’s cheek, and turned around, dragging Raven with her. “See you guys later!”
The teammates all watched as Clarke dragged Raven out of the conference hall, their voices becoming fainter until the door slammed shut.
“What’s wrong with you?” Anya asked bluntly, turning to face Lexa.
Lexa felt her face heat up as they all stared at her, and she fought to keep a disinterested look on her face.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lexa said, trying to sound normal.
“You gave the doc a high five,” Alex pointed out.
Lexa glared at the forward, scowling. “Yes, I’m well aware. Thank you, Alex.”
Alex shrugged, reaching down and taking Tobin’s hand. “Well, we’ve got a skype date with the kids so we’ll see you all at dinner,” she said, and with a wave her and Tobin left, off to their room.
“I told grandma I would call her later,” Anya said. She shook her head. “We’ll talk later, Lex. Try not to be so weird while I’m gone.”
And then it was just her and Octavia, who was still looking at her with an analyzing look on her face.
“What?” Lexa asked.
“Nothing,” Octavia hummed. “I was just wondering if you could go over a couple scenarios with me?”
Lexa took a minute to gather her thoughts and compose herself. She was a leader on this team, and as a leader she knew that people were looking to her to set an example. She couldn’t afford to be anything less than perfect right now, which means she could not turn into the stuttering fool she had been only five minutes earlier.
Lexa needed to go full Commander mode.
It was the road to the Olympics, after all. No distractions allowed.
Even if it was in the form of a beautiful, smart doctor who also happened to love soccer.
* *
Clarke was going to kill Raven.
Well, not really. But she did eat the chocolate bar Raven had been saving.
“You bitch,” Raven said, swiping the wrapper out of the trash, and throwing it at Clarke.
“That’s what you get,” Clarke said petulantly, grabbing the bags of medical equipment she needed to take with her to the training facility.
It was their second day at training camp, and Clarke and Raven were about to leave for the training facility to set up their makeshift medical area in order to do the physicals for the team. Clarke was making a mental checklist in her head, sitting on the edge of her bed, scanning the equipment in front of her.
“Oh, come on. What I said was true. You do want Lexa’s autograph,” Raven whined, and she plopped down on Clarke’s lap to gain her attention. “Besides, that was way less embarrassing than when she high fived you.”
“I thought it was cute,” Clarke said, grinning.
“The Commander?” Raven snorted. “She has never in her life been referred to as cute. You better not let her hear you call her that.”
“Oh please, I can be professional,” said Clarke, pushing Raven off of her lap and standing up. She grabbed as much as she could as Raven grabbed the rest, and the two left the room, heading to the van that would take them to the training facility.
Clarke thought about her first interaction with Lexa.
Lexa Woods.
The Commander.
Aka one of Clarke’s favorite players of all time.
Here’s the thing—Clarke was able to keep her cool when she was officially introduced to Lexa, but just barely, because what Raven had said was true—Clarke did have a Lexa Woods jersey, and she certainly remembers painting her face with Octavia and watching the World Cup with their friends, screaming at the top of her lungs when Lexa scored in the quarterfinals.
It was kind of surreal to be meeting Lexa—to be meeting any of the players, really. Alex Morgan, Tobin Heath, Sydney Leroux—just yesterday Clarke had been standing in the same room as Carli Lloyd. And now, she was actually going to be meeting each and every one of them and running medical tests on them.
How did her life go from zero to one hundred so quickly?
Of course she knew Octavia was a world-class athlete, and there had never been a doubt in her mind that her best friend would one day make it on to one of the most elite soccer teams in the world.
Octavia and Clarke had been with each other since they were little—she was in detention with her when Octavia had punched Nick Randolph in the face in sixth grade after he had pushed Clarke to the ground, had laughed with her when Raven had gotten stuck in the slide they TOLD her she was too big to go down but she insisted anyways when they were in high school, had cried with her when Clarke had gotten her heart broken for the first time—Octavia, Clarke and Raven had been through it all together.
So yes, Clarke was well aware that Octavia was a world-class athlete, but growing up together meant Clarke never treated her any differently than her best friend Octavia. World-class athlete Octavia, who held the record for most goals at their college and was being scouted as the next Alex Morgan, was the same Octavia who had built a blanket fort with Clarke and Raven and had a Harry Potter marathon, the three of them bawling their eyes out at the end of it.
She would credit that experience, combined with her practiced bedside manner as a doctor with why she didn’t externally freak out as hard as she internally was when she had shook hands with Ali fucking Krieger, the best right back in the world. And refrained from asking Ashlyn Harris if she could look at her tattoos up close. And clamped down on her urge to squeal when Christen Press gave her a smile and a wave.
With a large number of players retiring during the victory tour, Clarke knew how important it was for Octavia to prove herself during this short amount of time between now and Olympic qualifiers. She thought about how she had seen Lexa sitting next to Octavia in the meeting the day before, seemingly reaching out to her best friend.
That seemed sort of out of character for Lexa Woods.
Though what Clarke actually knew about the infamous Commander was very little—Lexa was one of the faces of the National Team, her rise to fame a product of her hard work and talent on the pitch, and it didn’t hurt that she was a green-eyed, brunette beauty. Clarke had just about swooned when she discovered a picture of Lexa Woods on the cover of Sports Illustrated.
The interview Clarke had read made it seem that Lexa was nice and genuine, but overall very professional—she seemed to be a serious person a majority of the time. She knew that Lexa was close with her teammates; that much was clear when they played together—the team’s chemistry on the pitch was a credit to how close they all were off of it.
To Clarke, The Commander persona was fascinating.
She couldn’t believe that Lexa was as serious as the media and everyone else made her out to be. Lexa was praised for her cool demeanor and ruthless style of play—she was a no holds barred, one hundred percent grind it out type player. She made her teammates better with how hard she played, and had opponents scrambling trying to defend her.
Clarke knew that if Lexa took Octavia under her wing, her friend had a good chance of making it onto that Olympic roster. Octavia had the drive, she had the work ethic, and most of all she had the passion—Clarke had seen it first hand, from the first time she watched Octavia step onto the pitch at age ten.
“You know she’s not nicknamed The Commander for nothing, right Clarke?” Raven asked as they pulled into the parking lot of the training facility. “She’s one tough chick.”
“I know, Rae,” Clarke said. “Doesn’t mean she can’t be cute too.”
“I think she’s more hot than cute,” Raven said absentmindedly, the two unloading their equipment and heading into the building.
“She’s freaking beautiful,” Clarke replied.
Raven wiggled her eyebrows, smirking. “You should go for it, Griff.”
Clarke scoffed. “Yeah, ok.”
“I’m serious!” Raven said. They walked down the hall, heading into the locker room where they were to set up their equipment. “You’re hot. She’s hot.” Raven started unzipping the bags, setting up her laptop while Clarke got out her medical bag. “You’re single. She’s single.”
“And how do you know she’s single?” Clarke asked.
“Because she’s freaking famous and if she was with someone the entire world would know about it?” Raven replied. “Also because I’m actually sort of friends with her and she’s never mentioned anyone.”
“She’s Octavia’s new teammate,” Clarke pointed out. “And technically my new patient. So she’s off limits.” She shook her head. “Besides, who’s to say she would even be into me?”
Raven scoffed, taking a seat on the padded table Clarke had finished unfolding. “You’re amazing. Of course she would be into you,” she said, leaning back on her hands. “And if she isn’t I’ll fight her.”
“Aww, you’re too cute Rae,” Clarke cooed, stepping in between Raven’s legs and squeezing her friend’s cheeks with her hands. “Offering to defend my honor.”
“Shut up, Griffin,” Raven mumbled, scowling, though the effect was lost as Raven’s brown eyes twinkled, the corners of her mouth turning slightly up.
“You love me,” Clarke declared, and then peppered Raven’s face with kisses, ignoring her friend’s cries of protests.
“Clarke! We said no more ambushes!”
“You love the love ambush!”
“No more kisses!”
“Just let me love you!”
“Umm…hello?”
The two abruptly froze, Raven peering over Clarke’s shoulder to see Alex Morgan and Lexa Woods standing in the doorway.
“Hi!” Raven chirped, and Clarke took a step back from her friend, grinning sheepishly. “Hello,” she added, waving slightly.
“Are we interrupting something?” Alex asked, smirking.
“Nope,” Raven said happily, hopping off of the table. “Clarke was just declaring her love for me again.”
Clarke nodded solemnly, giving an exaggerated sigh. “Alas, t’was not meant to be.”
“Oh? And why is that?” the forward asked, stepping into the room, Lexa mechanically following her.
“The lady has spurned my advances for the last time!” Clarke declared, slamming her hand onto the table for full effect. “It’s time I turned my affections towards someone more deserving.”
Raven broke out into hysterical laughter, followed quickly by Clarke.
Alex shook her head at the two. “You guys are weird.”
“Thanks,” Raven said happily, catching her breath. “So, what can we do you for?”
“Lex and I are here for our physical evaluations and nutritional plans,” Alex explained.
“Awesome,” Clarke said, pulling her hair into a bun. She patted the table once more. “One of you with me to start the physical tests, the other with Raven to go over your nutritional plan.”
Alex nodded and followed Raven over to the corner of the room where her laptop was set up, taking a seat across from her.
“Looks like you’re with me,” Clarke said, smiling at Lexa.
The midfielder gave a slight smile, though Clarke noticed that it looked forced. Lexa sat down on the padded table, sitting up and looking straight ahead.
“So, I’m just going to do some routine check up stuff to make sure everything is up to world-class athlete excellence,” Clarke said in a teasing voice, attempting to draw Lexa into conversation as she wrapped the blood pressure arm around Lexa’s bicep. “Whoa, that is an awesome tattoo.”
Clarke was intrigued by the tribal-like tattoo that wrapped around the player’s arm, following it with her eyes as it disappeared under Lexa’s sleeve.
Lexa just nodded.
“Oh…kay,” Clarke said, awkwardly. “I’ve got a tattoo that goes along my side. It’s of this tree that was in the backyard of my old house, where my dad and I used to play soccer every day.”
Clarke wasn’t sure why she was telling this to the unmoving player sitting in front of her, except she felt like maybe she should fill the silence as Lexa awkwardly avoided eye contact with her.
With a sigh, Clarke got back to her examination, determined to not reveal anything else personal. It seemed Lexa was content with not getting to know Clarke, which she was bummed about, but respected the athlete’s wishes.
“Ok, so that was the last thing,” Clarke said, scribbling in her chart. “I would offer you a lollipop, but I’m pretty sure that’s in the no column of Raven’s nutritional plan,” she said jokingly, chuckling slightly at her own joke.
Clarke was such a dork.
“Are you and Raven dating?” Lexa blurted out.
Startled, Clarke looked up from her clipboard. Those were the first words she had heard from the stoic player the entire time she was examining her, save for answering Clarke’s questions, and even those had been answered with a monosyllabic yes or no.
“Oh. Umm, no,” Clarke answered, closing the chart she was holding.
“Sorry,” Lexa said, and her face looked flushed. “I just was wondering, because when we walked in…” she continued, hands gesturing helplessly.
“Oh. I can see how…no,” Clarke said, shaking her head. “We’re just best friends. That’s sort of a running joke between us.”
“Well…thanks for the exam Dr. Griffin,” Lexa said, back straightening. They both looked up as they heard Raven yell from the corner.
“Yo Woods, your turn. Step into my office,” Raven yelled, shooing a chuckling Alex towards Clarke.
With a nod towards Clarke, Lexa walked towards Raven.
“It’s Clarke, by the way,” Clarke called after her, Lexa pausing in her steps. She looked over her shoulder and the doctor saw the same strained grin on Lexa’s face, before the midfielder gave her another brief nod and sat down in front of Raven.
“Ok Clarke, no offense because you seem like a lovely person, but if I have to get a shot I will run out of here and not look back,” Alex said, smiling and sitting on the table.
“Not a fan of them, eh?” Clarke asked, chuckling. “Nobody is. Actually, it’d be weird if you were,” she said, frowning. She shook her head. “Anyways, no shots today. Just routine check up stuff.”
“Great,” Alex said. “I’ve got a skype date with my kids after this and I’d rather not have to explain to a six-year-old and a two-year-old that mommy’s eyes are red because she was crying from a shot.”
Clarke grinned. “Well I don’t believe for a second that the great Alex Morgan would cry from a little shot,” she said, attaching the blood pressure monitor on Alex’s arm. “Where are your kids staying while you’re at camp?”
“With Tobin’s parents,” Alex responded, humming a bit. “They’ll come up for the actual game, along with the rest of the little Tribe of Five.”
“Tribe of Five?” Clarke asked, quirking her eyebrow as she put her stethoscope in her ears.
Alex chuckled. “It’s what we call Kellan, that’s my daughter,” she explained, lying down as Clarke prompted her to. “And her best friends, who also happen to be the children of our teammates. Chloe is an O’Solo kid, Vanessa is Sydney’s daughter, Kaitlan is HAO’s, and little Hallie is Ashlyn and Ali’s.” She shook her head. “I swear, when those kids get together…well, you’ll see for yourself. You can meet them this weekend after the game.”
Clarke grinned, writing in Alex’s chart. “I absolutely look forward to it,” she said.
The rest of the examination passed with pleasant conversation, until Clarke had wrapped up her tests and Raven had finished going over Lexa’s nutritional plan with a loud, “Woods, you can have all the goddamn ice cream you want if you bring some back for me too.”
Alex chuckled, used to Dawn’s eccentric assistant, before waving to Clarke and pulling a still strained-smiling Lexa out of the room.
“So the Commander looked majorly uncomfortable,” Raven began, sitting down next to Clarke. “What did you say to her?”
“I didn’t say anything!” Clarke defended. “I guess she really is serious all the time,” she said, shrugging.
“Well she was joking around with me,” Raven teased. “So maybe it’s just you.”
Clarke furrowed her eyebrows, thinking about her brief interactions with Lexa thus far before she was startled out of her thoughts by another knock on the door. She looked up to see Tobin and Ashlyn waiting in the doorway.
“So, Al says I’m supposed to show you pictures of our little Tribe of Five,” Tobin said, grinning as she walked into the room.
Clarke smiled, gesturing for Tobin to take a seat on the table while Ashlyn walked over towards Raven, calling over her shoulder at the two. “Make sure you show her the Halloween one with Cap and the Avengers!” she said, chuckling. “They ate so much candy that night.” She shook her head, plopping down in the seat across from Raven. “Those kids know exactly how cute they are.”
“Well, this I’ve got to see,” Clarke said. She stepped closer to the midfielder, adjusting the blood pressure band around her arm. “I love the Avengers,” she said, her grin matching Tobin’s as she looked at the offered photo on the proud mother’s phone.
* *
“Why are you being weird?”
Lexa, who had closed her eyes while soaking in an ice bath, cracked one open to see Anya settling into the tub across from her.
“I don’t know what you mean,” Lexa replied, closing her eyes again.
“I mean your weird high five with the doc,” Anya said. “And Alex said you were being awkward during your physical. So I ask again, why are you being weird?”
Lexa sighed, knowing her cousin wasn’t going to let it go. Ever since they were little, Anya had this look that automatically had Lexa spilling her guts to her older cousin. It was the look that Anya used when a seven-year-old Lexa had lied about breaking the window with her soccer ball, and the look that had eighth-grade Lexa almost break down into tears as she confessed that she had taken one, tiny sip of alcohol, and the same look that had Lexa pouring her feelings about the breakup with Costia to Anya late one night during their sophomore year at UNC.
“It’s Clarke,” she said, sighing again. “She’s—she is making my head fuzzy.”
“Fuzzy?” Anya asked, quirking her eyebrow. A smirk grew on her face, and Lexa just knew that she had figured it out. “Oh my god, you have a crush on the doc.”
“It is NOT a crush,” Lexa denied vehemently, shaking her head. “She just…makes me nervous. I don’t know why.”
“Because you have a crush on her,” Anya replied, slowly, as if she was talking to a toddler.
“No, that can’t be it,” Lexa responded.
“And why not?”
“Because I don’t do feelings,” Lexa said. “You know that.”
Anya scoffed. “Ok, Commander,” she said. “That’s bullshit.”
“Excuse me? I was entirely professional the whole time Dr. Griffin was doing her examination,” Lexa said, glaring at her cousin.
And she had been.
She had felt the butterflies in her stomach return as soon as her and Alex had stepped into the room, and a small surge of jealously in the pit of her stomach when she had watched Raven and Clarke interact with such ease.
When Clarke had touched her arm, she had to physically stop herself from jumping, startled by the warm touch. Lexa had answered each one of Clarke’s questions efficiently and quickly, but the thought that Raven and Clarke being in a relationship actually caused her discomfort, to the point where she had just blurted out what she was thinking.
She had to know.
For clarification purposes, only. She chose to ignore the sense of relief when Clarke had told her that Raven and the doctor where not romantically involved.
“Alex said you were being all Commander-like, giving one word answers and generally not smiling much,” Anya replied.
“I smiled!” Lexa retorted.
“Yeah but it was probably the awkward, forced smile that you put on when you feel like you have to smile,” Anya said. “The one that looks like you just ate a whole bunch of rotten yogurt.”
“Ok, that was ONE time, and who the hell puts the expiration date on the INSIDE of the yogurt?” Lexa asked, crossing her arms.
“Anyways, I know you think love is weakness and all that crap, but it’s ok to have feelings, Lexa,” Anya continued, ignoring Lexa’s outburst. “Costia was a long time ago. And she didn’t understand you.”
“I was a bad girlfriend,” Lexa said. “I put soccer above her.”
“Lex, she didn’t understand why you were playing. Which wasn’t even the issue, actually. She didn’t have to understand, she just had to support you,” Anya said. “Which she didn’t.”
Lexa shook her head, remembering the heartbreak she felt after Costia had ended their relationship. She couldn’t afford to feel that ever again, especially with the Olympics right around the corner. She resolved to stick to her Commander persona at all times regarding Clarke.
Love is weakness.
She looked down at her watch, relief flooding her as she saw her ten minutes were up. “And on that note, I’m leaving. I’ll see you at film.”
“Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt!” Anya called after her.
“Shut up!” Lexa called back, not bothering to look at her chuckling cousin.
She wrapped her towel around herself, shaking her head as if to shake away the stray thoughts of Clarke that their conversation had brought up.
Love is weakness.
And Lexa couldn’t afford to be weak. She had a gold medal to win.