Can We Just Lay Here For a While?
Every tear that continued to run down Clarke’s face and onto Lexa’s neck felt like another stab to the Alpha’s heart. She hated seeing her Omega in pain and it killed her to know that she couldn’t protect her from it this time. Instead, she resolved herself to doing as much as possible to sooth the hurt that Clarke’s mother and people had caused in the girl’s heart. So, she carried her as gently as possible to her bed of furs and attempted to pry the girl’s hands from their holds on Lexa’s body in order to place the girl in the bed, but Clarke wouldn’t let go. When Lexa shifted tactics and tried to unwrap Clarke’s legs from around her waist, she was met with tightening muscles and a soft growl from the distressed, half-asleep Omega.
Lexa chuckled softly and whispered, “You must let go, ai hodnes, so that we may lay down.”
In response, Clarke’s grip only seemed to tighten as she whimpered into Lexa’s shoulder, “I need this.”
Sighing, Lexa maintained her hold on the blonde wrapped around her body and eyed the furs in front of her for inspiration. She raised her eyebrow when only one solution came to mind. Slowly, the Alpha turned so that her back was to the bed and, sighing again, lowered herself to a seated position as carefully as she could so as not to tip over because of the added weight on her front. Soon, she found herself sitting perched on the edge of the bed with Clarke straddling her hips, still very much molded to Lexa’s torso. The Omega purred in response to the new position.
Chuckling softly again, Lexa tried once more to loosen the girl’s hold on her shoulders in order to shift her off of her lap and onto the bed beside her. Clarke still wouldn’t let go. Lexa let out a soft huff, but didn’t dare say anything to disturb the Omega in her lap whose breathing had finally started to even out into a deep, slow rhythm. Instead, she kept one hand wrapped around Clarke’s back to hold her in place while she used the other one to scoot up the length of the bed. When she got to the center, she leaned back as slowly as she could, suddenly very grateful for all of the warrior training she had to go through because it provided her with strong core muscles, and relaxed against the pillows and furs.
The Omega was still slightly conscious at this point, so it registered, if only partially, when she felt Lexa not completely relax underneath her. The Alpha was still purring quietly to her, she hadn’t stopped since she had picked her up in the main part of the tent, and the fact that she hadn’t forced Clarke off of her and made her lay down, but understood that Clarke couldn’t bear the separation at the moment and went out of her way to find a way onto the bed without disturbing her even though she was clearly uncomfortable, was more touching than she could fully comprehend at the moment.
All she knew was that the painful ache throughout her body that had been there since the conversation with her mother was beginning to turn into just an exhausted ache that was making it more and more difficult to think, but she wanted to express some of her gratitude toward her Alpha and hopefully relax her before Clarke completely passed out on top of her. She’d be sure to tell the Alpha just how much all of this meant to her as soon as she had the chance to fully think it through and form complete sentences.
For now, the only thing she could think to do was shift her face slightly so that her lips were pressed against the juncture of Lexa’s neck where it met her shoulder. She could feel the pull toward the fluttering pulse point only a few inches away, but ignored it for now in favor of placing a series of slow, grateful kissed along the juncture and down the small amount of collarbone that Lexa’s buttoned up coat left exposed.
Lexa wasn’t sure what to do. She could feel the love and gratitude behind each of the Omega’s fleeting, soft kisses, but she wasn’t sure exactly what their purpose was. She could smell and feel the exhaustion rolling off of the girl in waves, so she knew that she probably wasn’t trying to seduce her again, she just couldn’t comprehend why else Clarke would gift her with such a loving, intimate gesture. She hadn’t been able to protect the Omega and didn’t feel she deserved the affectionate touches. However, as the kisses continued for a few minutes, despite the fact that she could tell Clarke was fighting for consciousness at this point, she couldn’t help but melt in response.
Clarke felt Lexa relax completely under her after a few minutes of kisses and couldn’t fight the small smile that broke out across the lips she still had pressed into the warm skin. Purring loudly, she placed one more kiss directly over that fluttering spot on Lexa’s neck before burrowing her face in once more and falling asleep.
Lexa sighed in happiness. Despite the fact that she could not join her Omega in sleep, considering she had already slept more with the girl in the last day than she normally did in three, she was perfectly content to lay there and hold Clarke to her. For the next several hours, Lexa merely laid there and listened to Clarke’s breathing, felt the tension and pain bleed from the girl’s muscles, and, after a small shift that allowed the both of them to rest on their sides, watched the peaceful expressions on Clarke’s face as she dreamed. Clarke slept four hours and hours, her body and mind needing a lot of rest after the stress of the previous day. It wasn’t until long after the first light of the next day began to trickle into the tent that Clarke finally began to stir.
Lexa watched transfixed as Clarke’s eyes flickered open to reveal the sharp blue of a sea after a storm. It took a few seconds for the Omega to adjust and remember what was going on, but she never once broke eye contact, seemed panicked, or became upset as she figured it out. Lexa allowed her hand to brush up and down Clarke’s side as she waited patiently for the sleep to shake itself from Clarke’s mind and, once it did, she was rewarded with a large, sleepy, shining smile from the blonde.
A heartbeat later, Clarke’s eyes broke from hers for the first time since her waking to glance around the tent, back to Lexa, and then down to follow Lexa’s hand’s path as it continued up her side form her hip by going over the side of her back, to her shoulder, and then back again. Lexa held her breath as Clarke shifted to grab her hand on its next descent, suddenly fearful she had overstepped despite the conversation about intentions they’d had the day before. But, she was soon allowed to let out that breath in a relieved sigh when Clarke merely took her hand in her own, raised it to her lips so that she could kiss the knuckles, and met her eyes again as she whispered a quiet, slightly shy, “Hi.”
A small smile appeared on Lexa’s face in return, “Hello, hodnes. Did you sleep well?”
Clarke closed her eyes as she hummed her assent, still holding Lexa’s hand on the pillow between their faces, only a few inches from Clarke’s lips. Lexa could actually feel the warm brush of air across the back of her hand when Clarke asked in a deep, sleep filled voice, “How long was I out?” as she blinked her eyes open again to meet Lexa’s.
“Through the night. It is mid-morning now,” Lexa replied.
Clarke blinked in surprise. Blue eyes clouded in confusion and guilt as Clarke retreated a few inches from Lexa on the pillow. “Why did you let me sleep so long? You didn’t have to stay with me the whole time. I know it must have been boring,” Clarke said in a distressed rush.
Lexa, not liking Clarke’s retreat, shifted forward to follow Clarke across the pillow as she shushed her quietly. “It is okay, Clarke. Your body needed the rest. You have had a trying heat and it was my honor to watch over you as you slept. I assure you, it was not boring, hodnes.”
Clarke’s lips formed a soft line as she considered Lexa’s words, almost as if she were assessing their sincerity. After a while, she asked, “You keep using that word ‘hodnes,’ what does it mean?”
Excited that Clarke seemed to have accepted that she did not cause Lexa any inconvenience, she eagerly replied, “It is a term of endearment. ‘Ai hodnes,’ or simply ‘hodnes,’ means ‘my love’ or ‘love’ among my people.” Lexa smiled softly at Clarke for a moment before adding in an afterthought, “If it makes you uncomfortable I ca-“
“No, I like it,” Clarke cut her off. “Hodnes,” Clarke tested the word on her tongue. “Ai hodnes,” she rolled the syllables around for several long seconds, feeling them.
Lexa had to suppress the shiver hearing those words of love out of Clarke mouth, in Lexa’s own language nonetheless. Despite the fact that they weren’t actually directed at her, hearing them fall from Clarke’s lips seemed to do something deep inside of Lexa’s chest.
Clarke, of course, noticed immediately and Lexa watched as an extra gleam appeared in sparkling blue eyes. Clarke slid forward again, pressing her front to Lexa’s on the bed and still keeping their hands clasped together between them, but moving them close enough that she could run the back of her hand along the Alpha’s jaw. Then, she whispered into Lexa’s lips, “Hear something you like, ai hodnes?”
When Lexa was only able to respond with a deep shiver and excited nod, Clarke smiled devilishly and asked, “So I’m assuming you’re okay with me using your culture’s terms of endearment, hodnes?”
Every time Lexa watched Clarke’s lips roll over those delicate syllables, a shiver ran down her spine and it took all of her willpower not to lean forward and capture those lips in a deep kiss. Seeing her hesitation, Clarke did it for her. One moment Lexa was watching entranced as Clarke’s lips ran over the last word and the next those lips were attaching them to hers. Soft, giving, loving lips that were sucking and pulling on her own as she struggled to keep up. A tongue swiped her bottom lip, begging for entrance without challenging her, and she didn’t hesitate to open her mouth and explore that wet, warm, delicious heat. Their tongues danced together for minutes on end, neither claiming complete dominance as they traded it back and forth in the kiss.
An unknown amount of time later, Lexa found herself breaking the kiss completely out of breath, only to start gasping for air as Clarke trailed kissed down Lexa’s neck. In a sudden rush of confidence, Clarke rolled Lexa onto her back and climbed on top of her as she continued to kiss, bite, suck, and nip her way down the Alpha’s neck. Leaving small bruises and marks, but not risking breaking the skin and claiming a mating first. It wasn’t until she had reached the top of the Alpha’s buttoned coat, which barred further exploration of the tanned, warm skin, and begun to use her hands to unbutton the coat and reveal more skin to explore, that the Alpha beneath her used one hand to stop both of Clarke’s while the other cupped the Omega’s jaw to pull her away from her chest in order to look into her eyes.
Dark, lust filled blue eyes met the Alpha’s gaze as Clarke leaned forward to attach their lips in another kiss, thinking that was the point of the interruption, only to be stopped by firmer pressure on her jaw. Confusion spread across Clarke’s face and Lexa was quick to stroke the girl’s jaw with her thumb to calm her before she began to think this was a rejection. “What’s wrong?” Clarke asked in a deep, husky voice.
“Nothing is wrong, Clarke. Believe me, I would like nothing more than to continue, but we must stop,” Lexa said, still breathing harshly.
Frowning, Clarke whined, “Why? I want this. You said you want this. We know we love each other. We talked about mating. Agreed. I want you, Lexa.”
Sighing, Lexa said, “I know, hodnes. But as I said, I cannot take advantage of you while in heat. Your symptoms may be suppressed and those suppressants may make heats shorter, but it has still only been two days. You have at least a day or two left in your heat and I refuse to rob you of the opportunity to change your mind once it is truly clear once again. Just in case. I cannot do it.”
Huffing even though a large part of her brain that wasn’t currently overrun by hormones was deeply touched by Lexa’s words, Clarke realized that she would not be able to talk the Alpha out of her decision. So, she ground her hips down on the stiff bulge she could feel between the other girl’s hips and whispered, “We don’t have to mate, Lex. It could just be sex,” directly into her ear.
Groaning loudly, Lexa pulled Clarke’s head back up so that she could rest their foreheads together. “You do not make this easy, love. But I must refrain from even that. Knowing what I now know, I need to be positive that you know, understand, and accept any advancements we make in our intimacy.”
Clarke closed her eyes, accepting defeat even though she could feel her blood thrumming through her veins and an intense heat pooling in the pit of her stomach. It seemed there was nothing she could do to change Lexa’s mind. After a few moments of deep breathing, Clarke opened her eyes again, much calmer now, and asked Lexa, “Okay, then. How do you plan on spending the next day or two?”
“First, we could eat and get you more suppressants, you could use some more,” Lexa started. Clarke frowned at that, suddenly realizing just how long it had been since her last dose and understanding that her recent bout of lust may not have been driven with a completely clear head, as she had originally thought. “Then,” Lexa continued, “we could talk until you get tired again?”
Clarke smiled. “That sounds perfect,” she said as she began to roll off of the Alpha and bed. Lexa laid there for another few moments in an attempt to shake off the remnants of her desire before she too rolled off of the bed, prepared for her time with Clarke.
The heat did end up lasting a full two more days, which the two young leaders spent holed up in Lexa’s tent, eating, talking, and sleeping in each other’s arms. There was even a fair amount of kissing, although the heat driven Clarke never was able to get Lexa to go beyond that. And so, before it even felt like any time had really passed at all for Lexa, who had thoroughly enjoyed living with Clarke in their own bubble of happiness away from their responsibilities, she found herself curled around the Omega as she slept peacefully once again, taking deep breaths full of the scent of the last remains of Clarke’s heat, and worrying for the first time in three days what Clarke’s reaction would be to her when she woke up. Lexa didn’t sleep much at all that night.