Its a Long Way Down
No one spoke for several minutes after they were left alone. Abby seemed to be seething from the position she had taken up a few feet inside of the tent. Lexa seemed to be internally panicking about what to say to assure her Omega’s mother that she has never and will never harm her daughter. That she will be a worthy future mate. And Clarke merely stood between them, occasionally looking back and forth between the two to read their faces, and getting angrier and angrier at her mother when she realized exactly why she had come to confront Lexa.
However, before she could call her mother out on her actions, Lexa said, “I assure you, Abby, I did not harm your daughter in any way. Nor did I take advantage of her. I would never do that,” with such an earnest expression on her face that Clarke felt her heart melt a bit.
Abby was unaffected and when her only response to Lexa’s statement was to let out a huff of air and shake her head slightly before she started to open her mouth, probably to yell again, Clarke lost it. Clearly any real care her mother had held for Clarke in the past was gone, probably had been gone since the day Clarke showed the first signs of being an Omega, and the realization hurt more than Clarke ever thought possible. So, she snapped before her mother even got the chance to speak. “That’s not why she’s upset, Lexa. Is it, mom?”
The question was clearly rhetorical as Clarke started to advance into her mother’s personal space, ignoring the rush of dominant Alpha pheromones that her mother started trying to silence her with, and continued to speak. “No, Lexa, that’s not why she’s here at all. She wouldn’t have given a damn about ME if you’d held me down, fucked and knotted me through my heat last night. No, she’d have only cared if you had left marks that proved it was forced, then she could have claimed you’d planned and forced it and turned my people against yours.”
Clarke turned her head slightly from her position directly in her mother’s face to see Lexa’s pained and disbelieving expression as she said the next sentence, “Remember, Lexa, my people only care about Alpha’s forcing themselves on Omegas in heat when the Alpha seeks them out or traps them when the Omega would otherwise be able to keep themselves out of the way.” Clarke turned her attention back to her mother’s cold, angry glare. “So if you had left marks, my mother would have been able to hold me up in front of our people as an example to show that you had betrayed me again. To show that our people aren’t safe with yours. To discredit me and take back full control of our peop-“
“Be quiet, Clarke!” Abby suddenly snapped. “You don’t know what you’re talking about! That’s not true. I-“
Lexa growled, “You will not speak to her that way!” and advanced on Abby as well in an attempt to protect and defend her mate.
At the exact same time Clarke let out a low growl of her own and snapped, “Shut up, mom, you aren’t in charge here and you never will be.” Lexa froze in her tracks at the sound of her Omega’s growl. It was like nothing she’d ever heard before and it sent chills down her spine and a strong wave of heat to her crotch at the same time. While she mentally reminded herself to try and get Clarke to growl for her in a much more private situation, she also made a note to try and never make Clarke seriously growl at her because she had never seen something so intimidating as her Omega this angry. She’d experienced small doses of that anger before and after the mountain that she had thought at the time were already very intimidating for an Omega, but she’s just now realizing that was nothing compared to the fury Clarke could direct toward someone. It also reminded her that while Clarke may be very clingy and reliant on her while they are alone and she was in heat without suppressants, Clarke is in no way a typical Omega. Lexa suddenly felt even more proud to be allowed a chance to claim Clarke and have Clarke claim her in return.
Abby also froze and silenced at their dual outbursts, although it was unclear which of the young woman’s threats had silenced her or if it had been a combination of the two.
Clarke continued as if she hadn’t been interrupted. “Because that’s the problem, isn’t it, mom? It’s not just that you don’t like that you’re not in charge, you don’t like that I am. Your pitiful, worthless Omega daughter is in control and making all of the decisions for you and you hate it.”
Lexa growled softly behind her in response to Clarke’s statement about her self-worth, but Clarke ignored her and kept speaking. She was spurred on by the shocked, slightly pained look in her mother’s eyes. “You’ve been trying to regain control of our people since the beginning and it infuriated you that even after the grounders I formed an alliance with left us to die at the mountain, I was still in charge and our people trusted me enough over you to be willing to form an alliance with them again. So, when you heard the rumors that I had gone into heat not long after being summoned to Lexa’s tent for official discussions and then stayed the night and most of the day with Lexa in her tent, you panicked because you realized that if I were to be mated and claimed by the grounders’ strong, Alpha Commander, you’d never regain the power you’ve been craving since the Ark. You thought that if Lexa mated me it would solidify m-“
“She’d control you, Clarke,” Abby cut in frantically. “If you two mated she’d use her control of you to take over everything, steal our weapons and technology, and probably even take our people for labor and our Omegas for breeding. You’re just an Omega. Just a child as well. You don’t understand, Clarke. All Alphas want is dominance and power. It’s always about gaining more dominance and power. You know what it’s like,” Abby pleaded with her. “You remember what it’s like. They’ll say anything to get you to trust them so that they can get what they want and then they turn on you. I don’t care what this Alpha promises you, she’s still an Alpha, and a strong one at that. Her thirst for power will be stronger as well and she’ll be better, more practiced, at controlling weaker Alphas, Betas, and especially Omegas. She’s probably been using her pheromones to influence you all day. Manipulating you.”
Lexa was growling viciously now, but having received no sign from Clarke, she remained otherwise silent and still behind the Omega. Clarke was too confused, shocked, and overwhelmed to do much of anything other than listen to her mother’s twisted words. She’d spent her whole life trusting whatever her mother said about the world and the things she was saying now were kind of starting to make sense. While she didn’t agree with what Abby assumed Lexa would do once she gained control, it would make sense that Lexa would expect her to surrender and submit all power to her once they mated. She hadn’t become commander of the twelve clans by making alliances and then ruling side by side. She dominated and controlled.
Abby seemed to sense Clarke’s thoughts because she kept speaking. “I do care if she hurts you, Clarke. I don’t want to see you hurt or controlled by anyone. That’s why I came,” Abby tried to continue, but suddenly Clarke snapped to attention and stopped taking in everything her mother was saying.
Incredulous, Clarke shouted, “You don’t want me to be controlled by anyone!? You mean anyone except you, of course, right!?”
“I’m your mother. I know what’s best for you. I can keep you safe,” Abby replied quickly.
“Since when!?” Clarke shouted back. “Since when have you ever done anything just to keep ME safe and not use me in some way?” Clarke demanded. Closing her eyes in frustration, she spun around to face Lexa.
Once Lexa saw the look on Clarke’s face she started growling at Abby again and took several small, quick steps forward to wrap her arms around Clarke’s shoulders and pull Clarke into her chest. The overwhelming comfort Clarke was engulfed with as soon as Lexa touched her again steadied and calmed her immediately. She let Lexa hold her for only a moment before she put a steady hand on Lexa’s stomach and gently pushed her back, reveling in the feeling of Lexa’s body vibrating with the intensity of her growl as she did so.
Abby was speechless as she watched the interaction with awe. She was amazed at the intensity of the Commander’s instincts to protect and comfort her mate. Those instincts even seemed to outweigh the instincts to defend her territory against a strong, intruding Alpha, which Abby was sure were running rampant in the Commander in response to all of the pheromones Abby had been pumping in her tent and in the face of the Omega she clearly wanted. She’d never seen or felt anything like it. Her feelings for Jake were never this strong. Sure she had loved her Omega mate, but that seemed to be nothing in comparison to the overwhelming devotion she seemed to see radiating off of this Alpha. She was still staring uncomprehendingly at the two girls when Clarke turned back around to face her.
“You’re wrong, mom. I love Lexa and she loves me. She’s not going to hurt me or control me into giving up our people. We are going to mate and then whatever happens after that she and I will figure out together,” Clarke said, encouraged by the supportive and reassuring hand Lexa had paced gently on the small of her back. “I’m not a child anymore, mom. I haven’t been a child since you killed my father and locked me up as a traitor. And I may be an Omega, but I am anything but weak. I wish you had been able to see that.”
Although seeing their love had shaken Abby, she was still outraged that Clarke wasn’t submitting to her control and allowing her to take back leadership of their people. The months and months’ worth of frustration that had been piling up in her chest lashed out as she yelled, “You’re just an Omega, of course you’re weak! I don’t know how you possibly could have managed to keep this Alpha off of you for so long, except that maybe she’s already neutered and unable to perform, in which case I can see why she would have tolerated an Omega parading around as a leader, but I won’t stand by it! If she’d so weak that she can’t even mount my pathetic excuse of a daughter and give me a reason to rally our people against her, I don’t need that much support to fight her!”
Lexa had made sure to be patient and controlled throughout the conversation so far. Clarke could take care of herself, this was her mother, and she respected her Omega enough to allow her to handle the situation on her own. Plus, she wasn’t officially her Omega yet, so Lexa didn’t feel she had the right to interfere much. She was still slightly worried that pulling Clarke to her in her show of comfort and support had overstepped. But, when Abby insulted her strength as an Alpha not only in relation to her ability to lead, but in her virility as well, she gave Lexa every right to enter the conversation. Add that to the insults she continued to shower Clarke with in addition to everything Lexa had learned about Abby’s treatment of Clarke in the past, and Lexa lost it.
Before either of the other women could react, Lexa had maneuvered herself around Clarke, grabbed Abby by the throat, and pinned her up against one of the tent supports behind her, while roaring her anger the whole time. The only thing that stopped her from ripping Abby’s throat out and leaving her in the woods to rot was Clarke’s quick shout to wait. So Lexa froze, but her grip never faltered on the older Alpha’s throat and she ignored Abby’s labored breathing and weak attempts to claw her hand away.
Clarke was behind Lexa in a second, “You can’t kill her! That really would cause my people to revolt,” Clarke told Lexa quickly.
Lexa’s whole body was tense. She growled lowly, her gaze never wavering from Abby’s. “I don’t doubt that you would be able to talk them down again, Klark.”
Clarke noticed Lexa’s pronunciation slipping more toward her native tongue and she realized just how angry the Alpha had become. She reached out her hand and placed it on the shoulder of the arm holding her mother to the poll as she said quietly, “Plus, she’s still my mom, Lex.”
Those words dampened a good portion of Lexa’s fury. This woman was still her Omega’s mother and although she was a terrible Alpha who has caused Clarke immeasurable amounts of pain over the years, and would most likely continue to do so if left to live, it would probably cause her Omega even more pain to see her dead. Especially at the hands of her Alpha. A slight shiver raced down her spine at the thought of potentially facing Clarke’s hurt and anger again, as she had after the mountain. She had no desire to ever put her future with Clarke in jeopardy again. Still furious, however, she could only manage a shallow nod for Clarke as she murmured, “Very well, I promise I will not kill her for now.”
Clarke sighed and leaned her forehead against Lexa’s shoulder blade as she murmured a quiet and relieved, “Thank you,” into the Commander’s back.
Taking that as permission to continue, Lexa snarled at Abby again, only lessening her hold slightly when it looked like the woman might black out. She needed to be awake for this. As soon as Lexa was sure the Alpha had gotten enough air into her lungs to be attentive she stated speaking in a low, threatening growl of a voice that left no room for argument. Clarke was still resting against her back and Lexa had a sinking suspicion that this conversation had taken its toll on the Omega who had already had a very emotional day and was still in the throes of heat, despite it being suppressed. She wanted to get this over with so that she could have a quick chat with Indra to give her instructions for what should happen over the next few days and then close herself away with Clarke in her bed again.
“Omegas are not weak,” Lexa started. “They are just as strong and capable as any Alpha and Beta I have ever met, if not more so because not only are they able to bare children and work, but they put up with us Alphas and they have the ability to completely control an entire group of Alphas with one look. You would do well to remember that and show all Omegas, but especially your daughter who loves you despite everything you have done to her, the respect and awe they deserve. I have recently learned that your people seem to be under the impression that an Alpha is unable to control their urges when they smell an Omega in heat. That it’s the Omega’s fault if they get caught in a heat near an Alpha and something happens. That is ridiculous and untrue and you KNOW it,” Lexa roared into Abby’s face.
There was a flash of agreement in Abby’s eyes that Lexa picked up on immediately. “See, I knew you knew it was ridiculous. But you supported your people’s beliefs anyway because it’s a form of control, isn’t it? To keep the Omegas in line on the Ark. To keep them afraid so they don’t take power away from your weak, pride driven Alpha hands,” Lexa accused.
Abby blinked slowly and Lexa knew she was right again. “Exactly. Well I’m telling you that stops now. You are on the ground now and here we respect our Omegas. They are treasured as they should be. You will go back to your people and you will tell all of your people this. You will tell them that if I hear even a hint that an Alpha has forced themselves on an Omega I will make death by 1000 cuts seem pleasant in comparison to what I will do to them. You will tell all of your Alphas that they are to start respecting all Omegas and that from now on they are all required to be monitored while on my territory. If even one of your Alphas takes so much as one step into Trikru territory without being escorted by one of my Alpha or Omega warriors, I will consider it an act of war and respond accordingly. There is a group of warriors camped outside of the gates of Camp Jaha, as I’m sure you’ve noticed. If any of your Alphas need to come onto my territory you will tell those warriors and they will send for escorts. As for your Omegas, you will tell them that if any of them feel or have ever felt at all threatened by your Alphas they are welcomed into my territory with open arms. They can also approach my warriors outside your gates and they will bring them here. You will let them go willingly and without reproach. Here they will be provided for, protected, and respected as they should be. This is nonnegotiable. If any of your people challenge this I will not hesitate to kill you,” Lexa growled with a sense of finality. “Is that understood?” She demanded.
Abby, unable to move her head, opened her mouth and let out a croak that had been meant to be agreement, but she didn’t have the air to make it clear. She may be stubborn, but she knew when she was beat and this show of aggression from Lexa made it clear that she had no chance of fighting her. Lexa seemed to understand her croak as the agreement it was meant to be, or at least she sensed Abby’s defeat, because she nodded slowly and let go of Abby’s throat without warning. Abby fell to the floor coughing and spluttering as she held her throat and sucked air into her aching lungs.
Lexa was careful not to shift too much as she dropped the woman and watched her struggle because during her speech Clarke had molded herself even more to Lexa’s back and was currently taking deep, slow breaths while Lexa could feel hot tears seeping through her coat where Clarke’s face was resting and Lexa didn’t want to break whatever comfort or strength she was providing the Omega. After a moment, when the sounds of Abby gasping for breath had died down slightly, Lexa felt Clarke nod softly into her back and then pull away.
Lexa turned to face the Omega and check on her. Although Clarke’s face was slightly red and puffy from crying, she looked relieved, calm, and somewhat happy. But, before Lexa could ask about her well-being, Clarke said, “Lexa, do you think I could have a minute to speak to my mom alone? I know it’s your tent a-“
“Of course,” Lexa cut her off to assure her. “It’s as much yours as it is mine, now. I will go speak to Indra outside, we have matters to discuss now,” Lexa cast a small glance back to the Alpha still submissively on the floor. “Call for me if you need me or when you’re ready for me to return.”
Clarke nodded and Lexa shot one more growl of warning at Abby before she marched out of the tent. Clarke sighed as she looked down at her mother. Carefully, she reached down a hand and helped the woman to her feet. They stood there in silence for several seconds. All of the anger and fight Abby had been holding onto for so long seemed to have seeped from her bones and now all she could feel was a deep sadness as she looked at her daughter. She had wanted so much for Clarke, but when she and Jake had realized she was an Omega all of those dreams had been shattered. She had spent so many years being angry and embarrassed about her daughter, and then Jake, that she had never really paused to look at Clarke. To think about her. To look past the Ark’s beliefs and see her, as Jake had. And now she was really wishing she had because she had missed so much. She had been so stupid. Now she’d lost both of them.
After another moment, Abby whispered, “I’m sorry, Clarke. I never meant for any of this to happen. I just-“
“You just wanted an Alpha daughter,” Clarke interrupted. “Its fine, I get it. I had hoped that you would grow to accept me as I am. As a strong Omega, but I can see that’s probably not going to happen. All I ask now is that you let me be. Follow Lexa’s restrictions. Help our people. And in a few days, when Lexa and I officially announce our intentions to mate in the Trikru ceremony, don’t challenge her. Don’t interfere. I know what I’m doing. I can take care of myself and our people. I’m just sorry you can’t see that.”
Unsure of what to say and feeling as if she didn’t really have the right to say anything, Abby just nodded mutely. Clarke nodded back, staring at her for several more long seconds. Or they may have been minutes. Neither woman was sure. All either of them could think about were their pains and regrets. Eventually, Clarke nodded much more decisively and said, “Good. Good. You can head back to Camp now. I’m sure Lexa has an escort for you by now.”
Abby nodded mutely again and was headed out the entrance, almost gone, when she heard Clarke say quietly, almost as if she was ashamed, “I still love you, mom.”
Turning to face her again while standing in the flaps of the tent, Abby said, “I love you too, Clarke.” And then she turned and walked out of the tent.
Clarke’s face turned even more sad as she said, “I wish that were true,” to the empty tent.
Clarke stood in the middle of the tent cold, lonely, and sad for several more minutes. At some point tears had started rolling down her face and she started to feel very weak and pathetic. It took her overwhelmed mind a few minutes to register that this was probably a reaction to the extreme amounts of stressful emotion she had been exposed to while still in her heat, but the thought did very little to make her feel any less pathetic and vulnerable in the moment.
After a while she began to wonder why Lexa hadn’t returned to her yet. She needed her Alpha. Lexa’s conversations with Indra, no matter how complicated and intense, didn’t normally last all that long. The two women seemed to have mastered a form of communication that involved as few words as possible for each order and situation, so Clarke was beginning to worry about what was keeping Lexa away from her. That maybe Lexa didn’t want to come back. That she was staying away on purpose.
But, before that line of thought could get any more out of hand, Clarke remembered all of the times Lexa had assured her she loved and wanted her, so she frantically searched her mind for another possible explanation for Lexa’s extended absence. Which is when she remembered that Lexa had told her to call for her when she was ready for Lexa to come back. Could it be possible that Lexa was just waiting outside of the flaps to her own tent for Clarke to give her permission to come back to her? Clarke stared at the tent flaps a few feet in front of her in disbelief. There was only one was to find out, she reasoned, so a moment later she tentatively called out a quiet, “Lexa!” It had been barely loud enough to be heard through the tent walls, but it had been enough. Before the sound had even completely finished leaving Clarke, the flaps flew open and Lexa rushed in.
Lexa had been waiting just outside of her tent flaps for what felt like ages. It had only taken a few minutes to check in with Indra, relay all of her new orders regarding the Skaikru, and deal with any information that Lexa had missed over the past day, so she was already waiting in position when she heard that last few sentences of Clarke’s exchange with her mother. She had watched as Abby’s face had crumbled as she stepped through the flaps and heard Clarke’s response to her mother’s declaration of love. It had pleased Lexa slightly to see the woman in so much pain, knowing how much pain she had caused Clarke in the past, but the wrecked tone she could also hear in Clarke’s voice distracted her immediately. It was all she could do to keep herself from rushing into the tent to comfort her hurting Omega, but Clarke had not called for her yet and she would respect that and remain outside until Clarke wanted her.
Instead she saw that Abby was escorted back to Skaikru territory by two of her stronger Alpha warriors before she positioned herself directly on the other side of her tent flaps, almost touching them, and waited, straining her ears for even the slightest, softest call from Clarke. It was agony. She could feel Clarke’s body’s call for her. Sense and smell the girl’s distress. Hear the tears and sniffles. But Clarke had not called for her, so she must wait. Every minute she had to prevent herself from rushing in or overthinking why Clarke didn’t seem to want her comfort because she knew in her heart that she respected Clarke enough to allow her this private time even if it was killing Lexa in the process.
And then she heard it. It was the best and worst thing she had ever heard in her life because Clarke had called her name, declared that she wanted her comfort in this time of need, but it sounded so broken and hesitant that Lexa was sure it had gutted her in the process of entering her ears. She was inside the tent before the sound of her name on Clarke’s lips had even finished rattling through her body, and the sight that greeted her only made her rush to Clarke even more quickly.
Clarke was standing in the middle of Lexa’s tent, crying, and hugging herself when Lexa burst in. Their eyes locked immediately and Lexa wasted no time before she rushed to Clarke and pulled her into her chest, wrapping her arms around her immediately, purr growling – something Clarke hadn’t even known was a thing until then, let alone realized exactly how much she desired to hear it from Lexa – and providing every ounce of comfort that Clarke could ever want or need.
Clarke held her back just as fiercely, wrapping her arms around Lexa’s middle and burrowing her head into Lexa’s neck as she cried even harder and started whispering, “Thank you,” over and over again into Lexa’s skin. Lexa hushed her immediately. Assured her there was no reason to thank her while putting all of her effort into calming the Omega who had stolen her heart. After a period of time that could have been years for all either woman cared, Clarke’s tears began to slow and the full-body shudders began to subside. It was then that Lexa offered to take them back to bed. Clarke had merely nodded softly from her position against the Alpha’s neck as her grip on the other girl tightened. Lexa still managed to lift Clarke so that the Omega could wrap her legs around Lexa as well, ignored the pressure that put on her crotch, and gently carried Clarke back to bed where she could sleep, rest, and recover.