Mornings Suck
Lexa was so concerned about what Clarke’s reaction to her would be when she woke up with a mostly clear head, thanks to the strong suppressants, that she barely managed to doze lightly for brief amounts of time the rest of the night. So, when the distinct scent of another strong Alpha entering the main room of her tent drifted back to her, her body immediately snapped to attention.
She began pumping out as much of her own overpowering, threatening, angry pheromones as she could while leaping from the bed and pulling on a jacket that had been hanging on the wall by the bed in order to cover her topless form. Then, she launched herself to the edge of the privacy curtain so that she could see who dared enter her tent in this situation, but she made sure to keep her body firmly in the entrance to her bed area so that she could keep Clarke protected and block her entirely from the view of the intruder. She would not have any other Alphas seeing Clarke in her mostly nude state without the Omega's express permission. Clarke would already have plenty of cause to be angry and hurt. She didn’t want to add to that. Lexa owed her this protection. And, if her Alpha instincts, the ones that called for her to guard what her body clearly thought of as her Omega and therefore only hers to look at, were to be satisfied at the same time, that was just purely a coincidental bonus.
When she looked out into the main room of her tent, growling viciously, she saw one of her best warriors standing in the middle of the room looking slightly confused and scared. He opened his mouth as if to speak, potentially in greeting or explanation of his presence, but Lexa was already so furious and on edge that she wouldn't let him. Instead, she immediately began to roar out demands in the form of questions she didn't really want answers to. She just wanted to yell, so she did. “What the hell are you doing here!? I don’t ever want to see you here. I should have you killed. What were you thinking!? No, don’t speak. Leave. Now. Why are you still here?! Get out now! And leave before I decide to end your fight for this!”
The man looked as if he might have peed in his pants. As soon as Lexa had started yelling at him he cowered and froze while trying to speak and explain that she had summoned him a few days ago to meet with her and discuss how the security detail she had placed outside of Camp Jaha was faring, but as she kept screaming at him and threatening him without letting him speak, he cowered in fear even more before finally gaining enough sense to sprint out of the room without looking back.
Lexa sighed when he finally left and his pheromones began to clear from the room. She let her body relax as her protective instincts calmed down and she turned to face Clarke, who she now realized she would finally have to face considering there was no way the girl had slept through her yelling. But, when she turned around she was not expecting the sight that greeted her and it confused her and broke her heart at the same time. She barely managed to squeak out, in a much softer and confused tone, a quiet, “Clarke, what-?”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Clarke had been slowly regaining consciousness for at least an hour. Her body felt heavy and exhausted, but safe and warm at the same time, she just couldn't figure out why. After a while, she realized someone was holding her in her sleep. Then, the body holding her suddenly stiffened before leaving the bed in a rush. Confused, Clarke’s mind rushed back to consciousness, but she felt disoriented, confused, as if she had been drugged. She couldn't remember what happened the night before and began to panic slightly as she attempted to remember something, anything.
She had started heat, that she was certain of, but for some reason she hadn't been too afraid. Lexa. She remembered Lexa being there are promising not to let anything happen. She had been so sweet, promising to protect her. Promising that she cared. But then, in the middle of the night the heat had hit full force. That she was certain of as well. And then...she was throwing herself at Lexa? Vaguely, she remembered pleading with the girl to take her and somehow getting her to kiss her. Then she remembered being naked and Lexa being topless as they kissed and then...Lexa rejected her. That thought caused her heart implode in her chest all over again. Her Alpha had completely rejected her while she was naked, in heat, and throwing herself at her. Shame and embarrassment bubbled up in her throat as Clarke began to recall falling apart and then Lexa's arms were around her again and...nothing. She couldn't remember anything after that.
Just then the overpowering smell of angry Alpha pheromones hit her as a loud growl rolled through the room. Lexa. She was still with Lexa. Shifting in the bed in response to her body's conflicted reaction of fear and arousal to Lexa's musk and growl, Clarke's eyes snapped open for the first time that morning. She was still naked. The panic that was just starting to set in at the realization only increased when, from across the room, she could smell Lexa's pheromones get even more suffocating as she began to yell, “What the hell are you doing here!?” She screamed while still growling.
Clarke rolled out of the bed immediately, trying to leave and do as her Alpha asked before she got any angrier. But, she was still disoriented and sluggish, so it took her a second to get her bearings and stand properly, which is when she remembered she still didn't have clothes. Lexa was still yelling, “I don't ever want to see you here. I should have you killed. What were you thinking!?”
Clarke kept her eyes to the floor, unable to face the furious commander, as she started to sob quietly and her stomach clenched painfully in fear, shame, and disappointment. She had been afraid of this. It's always the Omegas fault when they are stupid enough to let themselves be caught in a heat near an Alpha. Of course Lexa was furious with her. She should have known that Lexa wouldn't be able to resist her once the heat fully started. She should have known it was too good to be true. That Lexa would not be as understanding once the heat forced her into mating Clarke, which was clearly something the Alpha hadn't wanted. Quickly, Clarke tried to determine how rough Lexa had been with her because she still couldn't remember the actual mating, but she was sure it had happened. Lexa’s reaction was proof of that. To her surprise, nothing on her body seemed to be hurting. Maybe Lexa hadn't done too much damage to her body? Then again, it was was possible that it was there and the adrenaline rushing through her body because of the fear was just masking any pain.
Regardless, Clarke wanted to get out of the Alpha's way before the girl decided to take revenge on her by beating her and hurting her even more. So, she opened her mouth to try and apologize, beg Lexa's forgiveness, promise to leave as soon as she found her clothes, beg her to let her find her clothes. But Lexa kept yelling and she immediately snapped her mouth shut. “No, don't speak. Leave. Now. Why are you still here!? Get out now! And leave before I decide to end your fight for this!” The Alpha concluded.
Clarke was beyond panicked. She couldn't see her clothes and the film of tears in her eyes wasn't helping her to find them as she frantically searched. But Lexa wanted her to leave immediately and she didn't want to anger Lexa anymore. And it wasn't just out of fear for her own physical safety. She'd probably already seriously put the alliance in danger and she couldn't risk her people again. But she was still in heat, even if it was satiated for now, so she really didn't want to have to run through the grounder camp back to her guest tent while naked. Her pheromones would call to every Alpha and she would surely get attacked. Lexa wouldn't want that, would she? She couldn't possibly be that angry, right?
Just then, Clarke heard the Alpha shift closer to her and she flinched slightly, afraid the girl would hit her or drag her out of the tent. But, she was surprised when the girl’s pheromones seemed to become slightly less threatening as the girl started to speak again in a much softer, less aggressive and angry tone, “Clarke, what-”
Clarke, taking the lessening of the commander's anger as her chance, cut her off and began to beg through her sobs, “Lexa, please. I'm sorry, please forgive me. I know you said don't speak, but- I'm sorry, I'll leave, I promise, I'll leave now and you'll never have to see me again if you don't want to. Just please let me find my clothes first. Please don't hurt me. I'll leave, just let me find my clothes. Don’t make me go out there like this, Lexa, please. I'll do anything.”
As the girl rambled, it was Lexa's turn to frantically try to understand what was going on. In a few seconds she managed to piece together what Clarke must have assumed was going on and cursed herself again. Why was it so impossible for her to do anything right for this woman?! Slowly, as the blonde Omega continuously begged and pleaded in an increasingly desperate manner, Lexa approached her.
Clarke sensed the movement and began to beg and plead even more desperately while bracing herself for the attack she was sure was coming. But, when the Alpha reached her nothing happened. She continued to beg softly as she waited for a few moments, still not daring to pull her eyes from the floor and look at the Alpha, still hoping the girl wouldn't hurt her. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Lexa's hand raise. She flinched hard and stopped talking, but the hand just paused for a second before continuing on its path to her face where it cupped her cheek lightly and rested there gently, calmly, almost comfortingly. Clarke couldn't help that her body's immediate reaction to the gesture was to relax, even if she was still beyond confused and scared.
Lexa stroked the girl's cheek gently for a few seconds, glad the pleading had finally stopped because every word the girl had said only served to rip another chunk of Lexa's heart out of her chest. Every implication that Clarke was afraid of her now crushed her, so she dedicated herself to calming that fear. She didn't want Clarke to leave like this, especially not naked, as the girl seemed to think she wanted. So, after the Omega's body seemed to instinctively relax, if only slightly, in response to her touch and the calming pheromones she was now trying to fill the tent with, she whispered to her, “It is okay, Clarke. I do not want you to leave. I will never hurt you. Never. You do not need to be afraid of me. I am not angry with you. There is no need to apologize, you have don't nothing wrong. Nothing. I am the one who should be apologizing.”
As Lexa spoke softly to her, Clarke began to relax again. She couldn't help but believe her. The pure dedication and emotion in her voice was undeniable. But, she was still confused and kind of afraid because Lexa had been so angry with her a moment ago and she was still feeling fairly disoriented, so she dared not look at her for fear of angering her again as the Alpha continued to speak to her.
Despite the fact that Clarke still wasn't looking at her, Lexa could feel the fear leaving her body and it encouraged her to keep going. “I'm sorry, Clarke. I'm sorry for almost taking advantage of you last night. I betrayed your trust again and that is unforgivable. And I'm sorry for scaring you this morning. I was not yelling at you. An Alpha - one of my warriors - had entered my tent and I let my instincts get the better of me. It was him I was threatening. I didn't think about what it would be like for you to wake up to that. I’m sorry for that. But know that I would never hurt you. And I would never ask you to leave safety in the middle of your heat, let alone naked. So, please, Clarke. You can relax. You are safe and welcome here as long as you desire to remain. You can stay forever if you wish, but I understand if my actions last night have ruined any chances I might have had of you wanting to stay.”
Clarke hesitantly let her eyes drift up from the floor to study Lexa's face. She looked so open, honest, and vulnerable it made her heart speed up. Lexa really seemed to mean what she was saying, which meant she might even mean what Clarke hoped she had meant when she said Clarke was welcome to stay forever. And the rest of her explanation seemed to make sense. Thinking back, there had been a hint of another Alpha’s smell under Lexa's when she woke up, but her mind hadn't really processed it at the time. She had been too scared. But, there was still one thing she was confused about. So, praying it wouldn't set Lexa off, she asked quietly, “What do you mean almost took advantage of me last night? I'm sorry. I don't really remember what happened. Are you saying we didn't mate?”
Lexa let out a long breath in shock. That's what Clarke thought? Quick to set the record straight, Lexa said, “No! I did not do that to you. I couldn't. I did make a mistake and kiss you for a while, taking advantage of you that way, and I did let you strip in front of me, but I could never mate you when I wasn't sure you really wanted me to. I- I love you, Clarke.”
Clarke slumped into her immediately as the last bits of fear fled from her body at Lexa's words. She really was safe. If Lexa truly did care for her - love her - enough to resist her in that moment, then, maybe, just maybe it would be okay. Quietly, Clarke whispered into Lexa's chest, “I love you too, Lexa. Thank you.”
Lexa's heart soared at the words, but she made herself remember that Clarke was still in heat. Even if the suppressants were controlling many of the symptoms, it was possible, and honestly more than likely, that Clarke didn't mean them. That her emotions were so skewed that all of the confusing things that had happened in the last several hours had led Clarke to this false conclusion. So, she brushed off Clarke's declaration for the moment and sighed before asking gently, “Would you like me to retrieve your clothes?”
She felt Clarke nod into her chest, so she gently let go of the Omega and rushed to grab the small pile of clothing she had spotted in the main room of her tent. Returning quickly, she handed the clothes to Clarke who wasted no time in putting them back on.
They stood there, awkwardly staring at each other for a few minutes before Lexa remembered something. “You should take your next dose of suppressants, Clarke.”
Unsure of how to reply, Clarke just nodded at her and watched as the Alpha disappeared for a moment again before returning with a bottle and cup. After drinking down the amount of the disgusting tasting liquid that Lexa directed, she handed the supplies back to Lexa and watched her as she raced out of the room to put them away before returning a last time.
There was another pause in the conversation as both girls searched their minds for ways to end the silence.
“You should get some more rest,” Lexa said.
“We should probably talk,” Clarke said at the exact same time.
They both let out a light laugh. “How about you rest for a while - that is if you wish to stay. I promise I will be here so that we may talk once you wake up,” Lexa compromised, hoping Clarke wouldn't leave.
Clarke agreed immediately, partially because she was still unwilling to go against the Alpha in case of angering her again, but mostly because she was actually very tired. Her body was still drained and she was emotionally exhausted from everything that had happened lately. She looked down at the bed next to her and then back up to Lexa in a silent question.
Understanding immediately, Lexa nodded and said, “Yes, you can rest there. I can leave if you wish?”
“No, I want- will you stay and hold me again?” Clarke asked hesitantly, but hopefully.
“Are you sure you want that, Clarke?” Lexa questioned cautiously.
“Yes,” Clarke replied immediately.
Lexa nodded in reply and carefully settled down onto the bed again. Clarke curled into her a second later. Lexa was so relieved that Clarke seemed to forgive her for last night’s mistake, at least for now, and she was so comfortable and happy with the Omega in her arms again, that she drifted off within seconds. Clarke was already asleep.