Surprise, Surprise
As Clarke walked through the flaps surrounding the entrance to the commander’s tent, she had to hold her breath to steady herself for a moment. The rush of dominant Alpha pheromones that hit her the second she crossed that threshold made her stomach do strange things that she wasn’t used to. Normally, when she was facing an Alpha her stomach clenched and her body trembled in fear as a sense of dread came over her knowing that one false move or pheromone would have any of the Alphas was used to attacking her for sex, dominance, or both. Life for Omegas like Clarke had always been dangerous on the Ark for that reason. But, with the commander she felt safe for some reason. Instinctively, her body seemed to know that Lexa wouldn’t hurt her.
At least, that’s what Clarke assumed because whenever she found herself with the commander, her body trembled and her stomach clenched in reaction to emotions that were decidedly much farther from fear and closer to love and desire than Clarke had ever known. None of her past suiters had ever elicited such emotions in Clarke before and it left her confused and sad because Lexa wasn’t even a suiter.
In fact, as far as Clarke could tell Lexa wasn’t even the slightest bit interested in her anymore. The brief kiss they had shared before the mountain was never mentioned again after their reconciliation and renewed alliance and there was no way Clarke was going to be the one to bring it up. The last thing she needed was to anger the commander and ruin their relationship as well as potentially damage the already strained alliance the two young leaders had managed to scrape back together. Even though it was getting more and more difficult for Clarke to be near the other girl, she would keep her emotions to herself at all costs. So, when Clarke entered Lexa’s tent, she took a breath, steadied her body’s reactions, which seemed to be slightly worse than usual for some reason, and then continued in to find the commander in the room.
Lexa was standing at her table looking over paperwork. She as wearing simple black pants and a flowy grey tank top that accentuated her arms and tattoos, making Clarke’s stomach do an extra few summersaults, and her hair was braided, but loosely. Her face was most likely left unpainted as well, but Clarke couldn’t see that yet. Clarke had come to know this particular style of wardrobe as Lexa’s relaxed, not-currently-in-war attire and she couldn’t help but admire the view for a second before calling out her greeting. “Lexa.”
Clarke watched as all of the muscles in Lexa’s body seemed to stiffen as she stood straight and turned to face the blonde before replying with a simple, “Clarke.”
Clarke nodded in response and walked a few steps closer to the Alpha, still leaving plenty of room so as not to seem too challenging. Although she felt safe around the girl and had already challenged her several times in the past, these kind of actions had become instinct for Clarke over the years. Knowing how to keep Alpha’s calm and pacified was literally a matter of life and death for an Omega and old habits were difficult to break. When she stopped moving, Clarke spoke again, “You sent for me?”
Nodding, Lexa motioned toward the paperwork on the table behind her. “I wish to discuss future trade routes with you as well as your people’s potential contribution.”
“Of course,” Clarke said, nodding eagerly as she stepped up to the table to start looking over the papers. She fought hard to repress a shiver at her new proximity to the strong Alpha and did her best to focus on the task at hand. Lexa turned back to the table and the two began to work.
The two spent several long hours pouring over the papers, debating possibilities, and hashing out plans, but Clarke was having an increasingly hard time focusing on what she was doing and saying. At some point her body had started to heat up and tremble almost violently while the clenching in her stomach had started to turn borderline painful. Clarke felt flushed and about an hour ago her body had begun to sweat. She was beginning to worry Lexa would notice and was planning what she might be able to say to get Lexa to give her a break in their discussion until morning, hopefully giving Clarke a chance to get control of herself, when Lexa broke off in the middle of whatever she had been saying about transporting goods and asked, “Are you feeling alright, Clarke?”
Flinching, Clarke took a step back from the commander and replied in a rush, “Yes. Of course. I’m sorry, Lexa. I think I’m just tired. Maybe we could continue in the morning?”
Lexa did not reply. She simply studied Clarke for several long minutes, taking in her reactions and appearance, before taking a deep breath and sighing. “You are entering a heat,” she stated calmly.
“What? No, I-“ Clarke gasped, cutting herself off. She was, it made sense, she just hadn’t realized why all of her reactions to the commander had been stronger than normal. Panicking, Clarke cursed her stupidity. Everyone knew that Alphas can’t control themselves near an Omega in heat, that’s why it is always the Omega’s responsibility to recognize one coming on and get somewhere safe, otherwise suffer the consequences. Heat put Alphas in a frenzy when they smelled it and there would be no stopping them from their goal. It had happened to Clarke on the Ark once and she was not eager to repeat the experience. Even if the idea of finally being with Lexa made her knees weak, Clarke was suddenly terrified. Alphas often blamed Omega’s in those situations, even becoming vindictive and violent, she didn’t want Lexa to be resentful toward her. She started to back away from the Alpha, who was still watching her with a calm interest, as Clarke began to rush out in a panic “You’re right. I’m-I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize what it was. It’s my fault. I’m sorry, Lexa. Please, I can just go. I’ll just-please I’ll just go. If you’ll just let me, I can get out of here before-“
Clarke broke off into a sob as Lexa reached out a hand to grab her arm gently, but restrictively. She had started to edge toward the entrance to the tent while talking, hoping beyond hope that Lexa would just let her leave, but resigned herself to her fate when the other girl restrained her. It was her fault for putting herself in this situation and not recognizing the signs. She was about to tilt her head to the side and submit, like Lexa’s pheromones had been demanding she do ever since she had first smelled them, when the Alpha began to speak. “Relax, Clarke. You are safe. No harm will befall you while you are with me. No one would dare touch you. Know that.”
Clarke clenched her eyes in shame. It was sweet of Lexa to try to comfort her, but by the sound of it she had her mind made up. She was keeping Clarke tonight. Clarke was hers. Not trusting her voice, she nodded and then tilted her head to the side and waited, her heat spiking to a new level of warmth, arousal, and pain at the thought of actually being satiated instead of just suppressed, but Lexa did not pounce on her.
“What are you doing? What is wrong?” Lexa questioned slowly. At first, Clarke thought she had done something wrong, but the genuine confusion she heard in the girl’s voice had her opening her eyes.
“Submitting to you?” Clarke said questioningly. “I’m sorry. I realize I have put you in a difficult position and that you will not be able to control your urges. I realize that it’s my fault, so I’m trying to make it easier on you so that maybe you’ll…” Clarke trailed off and looked down, unable to look in the other girl’s eyes as she begged for mercy and forgiveness. “That maybe you’ll go easy on me and won’t hate me after… for putting you in the situation. Although I understand if you do, but please.” When she finished Clarke tilted her head to the side again, hoping and praying this won’t end too badly, but still unable to look into Lexa’s eyes.
After a moment she felt Lexa move and she braced herself for a hit, kiss, shove, something, and completely not expecting the gentle hand that rested itself on her face and using a slight pressure to tilt her head back up and over so that Lexa could look into her eyes. Clarke flinched at the look of sheer repulsion she saw on the commander’s face. “I am not going to take advantage of you,” Lexa said in a voice that implied that Lexa thought the mere idea was sin itself.
Confused again, Clarke said, “But you said it yourself, I’m in heat.”
“That doesn’t mean I’m going to force myself on you!” Lexa said, her voice becoming more and more confused and appalled.
Clarke was at a loss for words for several seconds before she finally managed to sputter out, “But, how? How is that possible? You’re an Alpha!”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lexa questioned harshly.
Flinching back slightly, Clarke tried to show her neck again to appease the anger that she sensed building in the Alpha, still hoping to make this night as un-scaring as possible, but Lexa’s gentle grip on her face still wouldn’t let her. So, she settled for making her voice as soft and unaggressive as possible as she replied, “Just that Alphas can’t stop themselves around an Omega in heat. Instincts take over. It’s okay. I understand. It’s my fault.”
“That’s what they taught you on the Ark!” Lexa snapped, causing Clarke to flinch much harder this time. In response, Lexa’s other hand came up so that she was gently cradling the Omega’s face as she continued in a softer voice. “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. You’re safe. I promise. You’re safe. I’m not angry at you, I promise. I’m just confused. They teach you that an Omega’s heat makes an Alpha’s urges uncontrollable? That is untrue, Clarke. Look at me. Do I look out of control to you?”
Clarke was ready to defend everything she had been told on the Ark using the things she had seen as evidence, but held her tongue when she considered the girl’s last question because, no, Lexa seemed perfectly in control. In fact, she was even keeping in contact with the Omega, providing her comfort and connection and not showing any signs of it affecting her. Frowning, Clarke shook her head as much as she could. “No, you seem fine. Why aren’t y- oh” Clarke cut herself off as she realized it. Lexa’s disinterest in her must be even deeper than she had thought. She had never heard of an Alpha being able to resist an Omega simply because of a general lack of attraction, but she supposed it was possible. “Oh, I understand. I apologize for assuming, then. Please, I didn’t mean to offend you. I hope this won’t affect your opinion of me. I’ll just go-“
Lexa cut her off this time. “What are you talking about?”
“You’re able to resist me because you do not find me attractive – want me at all – that’s fine, Lexa, I’ll just go and yo-“
“That’s not it, Clarke. I assure you I find you very attractive and am actually finding it very difficult to resist your call, but it is possible for an Alpha to do. See? What they taught you on the Ark was untrue. I will not take advantage of you.”
“You won’t?” Clarke asked in a small voice. Her Omega had flared when Lexa admitted attraction for her, but was then crushed when Lexa still refused to give into the things inside of Clarke that were calling for a mate to claim her.
“No! Of course not, Clarke. For my people a heat is sacred. It is something to be shared among mates, discussed ahead of time if it is a first mating, cherished. Our Omega’s desires are paramount and respected. The Alphas know that anyone discovered taking advantage of the increased submissiveness of an Omega will be punished severely. You’re safe here.”
Clarke starred at her for several long seconds before closing her eyes in relief, sighing, and relaxing into Lexa’s hold for a moment. It felt so good to be held by the Alpha she desire so much. But, after a moment, what’s left of her rational brain seemed to remember what was going on, so she said, “Thank you, Lexa. You don’t know what that means to me. I’ll just leave, then, so that I don’t make you more uncomfortable.”
“No,” Lexa said simply.
Clarke’s eyes flew open. She should have known this was too good to be true. “What?” she gasped.
Stroking her cheek, Lexa tried to calm the panic she had accidently caused. “No, that’s not what I meant. I just don’t want you to leave if the attitude in your camp allows Alphas to take advantage of Omegas in heat. You are safe here. I will not risk putting you in that situation. That is- unless you wish to head back because you have one you wish to mate there…” Lexa trailed off while showing a rare bit of insecurity, as if she were truly unaware of Clarke’s feelings for her.
Clarke, on the other hand, was experiencing a warm feeling fill her at Lexa’s obvious care and concern for her and so she rushed to appease the commander’s fears. “No, no mate, Lexa. There is only one Alpha I would ever want to mate me.”
Lexa’s eyes bore into Clarke’s as she asked tentatively, “And this person is not at your camp?”
“No, they’re here.”
Hurt seemed to flash behind Lexa’s eyes for a split second before she said, “Very well, if they are in the camp I can send for them, if you wish.”
Realizing the other girl still wasn’t understanding, Clarke, on a sudden rush of bravery, hurried to clarify for her. “No, I meant here as in this room. So, I doubt you’ll need to send for her,” she finished with a small, unsure smile.
This time it was Lexa’s turn to be speechless. She simply stood there for at least a minute before slowly extracting her hands from Clarke’s face. “I already told you, Clarke, I will not take advantage of you.”
Clarke instinctively let out an embarrassing whine at the loss of touch, the symptoms of her heat having worsened exponentially as soon as the Alpha rejected her, and ducked her head in shame. If she wasn’t sure of Lexa’s feelings before, she certainly was now. “Of course. Again, I’m sorry if I offended you. I would appreciate it if you would just forget my feelings for you in the future and I hope you will still be willing to work with me.“
“No! Clarke that was not me rejecting you,” Lexa said firmly.
Clarke hesitantly raised her head. It had sure felt like a rejection. When she was looking Lexa in the eyes again Lexa said, “I’m not saying I don’t feel for you, Clarke. I do. I just cannot be sure you mean what you are implying right now, Clarke. I refuse to take advantage of you. You deserve much more than that.”
Sighing in relief, Clarke asked, “You really care for me?”
“Yes,” Lexa confirmed. “And I would like nothing more than to discuss pursuing a mating with you, but not during your heat.”
“What if I want you to mate me now?” Clarke asked before she could stop herself. Suddenly fearful again, she bit her lip in worry that she had crossed a line, pushed too far.
Lexa chuckled softly, “I’m sure you do, Clarke, but I can’t. I can keep you safe though. And hold you, if you like? Throughout the heat? In the morning we can send for some of our medicines that help and you are welcome to stay with me for the duration for the heat so that I may keep you safe.”
Clarke couldn’t believe her ears. Renewed love and affection for the Alpha were running rampant in her chest as she nodded repeatedly. “I would like that, if you are offering. I don’t wish to be a burden though.”
“It is no burden. It would be my honor,” Lexa assured her.
Smiling, Clarke allowed herself to be led to the bed of furs hidden behind a small privacy curtain where Lexa made sure she was resting comfortably before she quickly prepared the tent for the night and crawled into the bed behind the blonde. Clarke let out a long breath of contentment and utter happiness at the safety and warmth she received with just the Alpha’s arms around her. “Rest now. Ai hod yu in, Klark,” Lexa whispered into the Omega’s hair as she felt her relax.
Smiling, Clarke asked, “What does that mean?”
“That is not important, tonight. You should rest,” Lexa dismissed. She was not ready for Clarke to know yet. She would have to wait until the girl was out if heat before revealing her feelings. Clarke huffed, but nodded into the pillow and immediately began to drift off. Her body hadn’t completely hit heat yet, so it didn’t take long for her to start to fall asleep thinking about how lucky and happy she was to have found such an understanding Alpha. She couldn’t help but hold a slight fear in the back of her mind, however, that Lexa’s protectiveness and understanding was only a reaction of Clarke’s pre-heat pheromones and that once the heat truly started or ended, her Alpha would no longer feel this way towards her. But, she didn’t let the thought trouble her for long as the Alpha began to purr lightly behind her, fully sending her off into sleep at last.