Trying
"Levi i'm just asking for one more week!"
"No Petra, I have had enough of your bullshit! I gave you a week, no more no less. If you couldn't do your one job of finding a place to stay then that's your problem not mine. Now get the fuck out my house!"
"Levi! Please!"
"NOW! GET OUT NOW!"
Petra loked at a loss of words as she looked at Levi with tears in her eyes. She proceeded to grab her bags that were near the door before turning to Levi once more.
"You'll regret this... you will regret everything you are doing to me..."
"I have a pretty good feeling that I will be having a fucking house cleaning party once you're gone."
Petra didn't have any words as she shoke her head. She pressed the button and waited for the elevator to reach the top floor. Once the doors opened, she grabbed her bags and shuffled them into the elevator before she pressed the llobby button. With the doors finally closed she let herself cry. She let the tears fall freely as the elevator traveled down to the lobby. Unbeknowist that Levi had already turned the music up on his radio, gathered his cleaning supplies, pulled on a pair of white cleaning gloves and a bandana and started wiping down the surfaces in his apartment. Cleaning everything that his hands could get on, enjoying the music as he went on a cleaning frenzy.
That had been a month ago and I have to say that the atmosphere couldn't be more clearer than it is on this sunday morning. I felt as if I could breathe freely and wasn't breathing in chemicals that were full of bullshit and drama. I stopped by the cafe more often than not. I really liked the black tea and butter scotch rolls there. The black tea was so rich and bitter that it soothed me and the butter scotch roll was made of butter obviously, the rool was baked and the baker didn't let it cool because they filled the roll with butter scotch cream and topped it off with a buter scotch glaze... delicious. The cream oozed out once I took a bite and the glaze melted in my mouth. Sharp contrast to the bitter rich tea.
I have learned that Eren works at the cafe part time. He works on tuesdays, thursdays and sundays... wait.... Sundays!
Recently, I've managed to get good conversations with Eren when Eren had breaks. At first it was awkward but as time progressed, he warmed up to me enough to talk to me for a period of time. Like last tuesday, we talked about how his horse-fsced friend is getting to know a guy named Marco who deserved way better than Jean. Eren alsotold me that his adopted sister Mikasa is getting married to Annie, the blonde lady who gave me all those letters. He asked me how my job was going and I told him that I was promoted from being Erwins assisstant to being assisstant manager alongside Erwin. He congratulated me on my success and I asked him how life was going. That was when things got... sad for a lack of a better word. He told me that he had moved out from our old apartment, had moved in with Mikasa and Annie and together they managed to get a house far off close to the end of the city. He told me that he built a small roomy house next to Mikasa and Annie's house so they all could have their privacy. Eren also said that he didn't want to talk about the letters because those letters weren't ment for me but to hold his words of emotions when he couldn't speak them out loud. I respected his decision, told him that I would wait until he was ready to talk about our situation. I also told him that his letters managed to break my stoic expression and made me regret every choice I've made with him. That's abut all he let me say before changing the subject. Now, i'm sitting in my usual booth waiting for my order.
"One freshly brewed black tea and two baked butter scotch rolls for mr. Arkerman." Came the sweet voice of Eren himself.
I smiled "What have I told you about calling me that? I'm not at work." Eren chuckled.
"I know but I like to mess with you. It's fun, brings a up light to a boring sunday." I shock my head and voiced a 'thank you' before giving him the pay and a generous tip.
I was enjoying my tea when someone yelled my name and I knew exactly who it was.
"LLLLLLLEEEEEEVVVVVIIIIII!!!!" I visibly cringed.
"Crist Hanji, can you not ruin the peace?"
"Well I haven't seen you in like forever soo....."
"Bullshit, you saw me last saturday when you and Erwin dragged me to that fucking restraunt." Hanji just chuckled maniaclly.
"Soo.... that has been to long for my heart to handle." I rolled my eyes.
"Yeah well I... "
"Eren! Gimme some love because Levi is being mean!" Hanji cried as Eren rolled his eyes with a smile on his face.
"When isn't he being mean?"
"Hey? I am nice."
"Hmm No." Eren laughed at my face as he hugged Hanji , who was sitting down and hugging Eren from the waist. I couldn't help the jealousy that boiled within my veins.
"Hanji, let him go. You aren't allowed to touch him."
"Now you listen here mister." Eren said as he pointed his finger at ne, though it was all in a playful matter.
"She can hug me all she wants and you're gonna like it mkay?" I was shocked that Eren was being playful. He usually just brought me my food, chatted with me for a little while then he left. No now I guess.
"Now, I have to get bak to work." Eren grabbed my half eaten butter scotch roll and smiled down at me when he said "Play nice now." before walking away. I watched as Eren ate my half eaten roll like it was nothing and chatted with Annie. I sighed out loud as I averted my gaze back to Hanji whohas been sitting there the entire time without making a sound.
"So... how has this been going?"
"Fine."
"Oh come on Levi."
"What do you want?"
"I just wanted to check up on the both of you. You know how much I care for each of you right?" I sighed again bcause I knew she was being sincere, she wasn't bullshitting around.
"It's... hard."
"Whats hard?" She asked as she wiggled her eyebrows.
"Shut it Hanji and listen alright?"
"Okay."
"It's hard being this close to him yet I feel like i'm miles away."
"Did you and him talk about... ya know?"
"No, the only thing he allowed me to mention was about the letters and it wasn't a full blown conversation with tears and huggs either. It was more like one or two sentences at least." Hanji nodded as she processed the information. Taking her silence as my que to continue, I did.
"I want to be able to make up for my actions yet he won't allow me to... it's like he caged ne into a invisible friend zone." I finished ny sentence with taking a sip of my tea.
"That's exactly what's happening here." I raised an eyebrow.
"Eren's afraid that if he allowed you to get to close that you'll do the same thing again. He's only looking out for himself Levi." I nodded.
"I know Hanji, that's why it's so hard. I want him to see that i'm not the same guy anymore... that I have learned from my mistakes nd wan to fix things that can only be fixed by me personally."
"Just give him time Levi, i'm sure he will come around."
All I could do was nod. I didn't have anymore words to explain how hurt I was when I read those letters, how broken I felt when his words of sorrow turned my whole world upside down, how much of an asshole I realised I was when his words slapped me across the face. There were just no words to describe how much I hate myself right now because of what I did to Eren.
But I will wait. I will paitently sit and wait for Eren to come around to having me there and trusting me. I love hima and I can only hope that Eren has si=ome love left to give me.