The One
Tell me, tell me that you want me
And I'll be yours completely, for better or for worse
I know, we'll have our disagreements
Be fighting for no reason, I wouldn't change it for the world
Sunday, June 18, 2017
Kelley was never one to be at a loss for words.
In fact, she rarely ever shut up.
Yet, in this moment, she couldn't seem to muster up any string of words.
She knew that proposing to Christen was what she had wanted for a while. But she wasn't quite sure if Christen ultimately felt the same way. They've been attached at the hip since college and have been in an official relationship since the 2013 Algarve Cup.
The pair was on their way home from their Sunday church service. They were headed to a belated birthday lunch for Becky. Christen was driving while Kelley seemed preoccupied in the passenger seat. She was staring intently out of the window while Trent Dabbs' "Goes Without Saying" was a soft hum coming from the car radio.
"Kell," Christen intended on figuring out what had Kelley so distracted. "Are you feeling okay? You seem kind of... off."
"Wha- Oh, yeah. I'm fine. Can we just go right home? I'm pretty tired."
"You've literally only been awake for five hours. And we're like ten minutes away from the restaurant. I just texted Heather and told her that we're almost there."
Kelley tilted her head back and let out a dramatic groan. "Why can't we just drop off the present and go?" She looked at Christen with those hazel eyes that would make just about anyone go weak in the knees.
"Okay, okay. Fine. But when they give us a hard time for this, just know you're to blame."
"Whatever you say, mom."
With an eye roll, Christen couldn't help but give way to a small chuckle.
-
While Christen was inside of the restaurant delivering Becky's birthday gift and practically blaming their absence on her girlfriend, Kelley decided to make a call.
One ring.
Two rings.
Three rings.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Erin."
Kelley knew that she could talk to her sister no matter the situation. Although her teammates were just as much of family as her real family, it was always refreshing to have the comfort of having a heart to heart conversation with Erin.
"You chickened out, didn't you?"
Kelley laughed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "No, no. Not yet. I just- I don't want to mess it up. I was going to do it at Becky's party in front of everyone but I kept thinking of everything that could go wrong."
"Kell, nothing's going to go wrong. It's all going to be just fine."
"You don't get it, though; I've never been so scared of losing something in my entire life."
Erin let out a soft sigh. "That's true. But then again, I don't think you've honestly ever really had anything that was worth losing."
"What do you mean?"
"It's pretty self explanatory. Sure, you've had scholarships, big games, even a World Cup. If those things were taken away from you, you'd still live. The world wouldn't end, you know? But it's different with her. Your lives revolve around each other. If she were gone for whatever reason, I don't think you would be able to function. You might implode or become a troll under a bridge or something."
"Shit... Love is tough." Kelley quickly sat up straight. "Hey, Christen's coming out. I gotta go. I'll talk to you later, okay?"
"Go get em, kid. I really want another sister in law." And with that, Erin hung up.
Christen opened the door, slid into the drivers' seat and gave Kelley a questioning look.
-
When they were almost back at their apartment, Christen spoke up. "I know you said that you were tired but I still want to see everyone at Becky's party. Do you mind if I drop you off and then go back to the restaurant? I'll only be gone for a couple of hours."
"Oh... Well, I actually wanted to-"
"If you don't want to be by yourself, Alex said she would stop by and hang out with you. I saw her at the restaurant. She said she was planning on leaving early."
"Chris, just stay home. We'll see them all soon enough."
Christen pulled into the driveway. "Come on. Just because you don't want to socialize doesn't mean that I have to miss out." She put the car in park. "Hey, can you help me carry in those bags in the backseat?"
"No."
"What?"
"Get out of the car."
"Kell, are you okay? Like, do I have to call someone? I've seen an episode of Criminal Minds that started out like this."
"Just get out of the car. That's all I'm asking."
Confused, Christen exited the car. Her and Kelley were standing face to face in front of the car.
"Proverbs 31."
Christen cocked an eyebrow. "What?"
"Proverbs 31. 'She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.'"
"I know we just came from church and all, but why are you reciting Bible verses?"
Kelley cleared her throat, took a shaky breath, and looked directly into Christen's eyes. "Listen. When I talked to you at your first college practice, I knew that you were something special. Remember when I asked you out on our first date? The restaurant lost our reservation and then we went across the street for pizza and beer instead. That was one of the best nights of my life. Before I met you, I was a mess. Frankly, I'm still a mess; I'm kind of just much less messy because of you. You've made me a better person. I'll never stop loving you, I couldn't even if I tried." Kelley got down on one knee. "Christen Annemarie Press, will you marry me?"
Christen's eyes widened. "You really wanna marry me?"
"Yeah, of course, I want to marry you. I want to fill a museum with every smile you've ever made. I want to marry you because when you love someone as much as I love you, getting married is the only thing left to do. So, will you, um, marry me? Because my knee is really starting to cramp up. A driveway was definitely not the best place to do this."
"Oh my God, Kell. Yes!" Kelley stood up and embraced her in a hug. Christen closed her eyes and took a deep breath and inhaled Kelley's perfume. Warm vanilla sugar. She mumbled into her shoulder, "What took you so long?"
-
Kelley loved Sundays. But this was a Sunday for the record books.
Cause I knew, the first day that I met you
I was never gonna let you, let you slip away
And I still remember feeling nervous
Trying to find the words to get you here today
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Stanford falls 1-0 to North Carolina in the 2009 NCAA Women's Soccer Tournament.
Two yellow cards in the second half resulted in Kelley being thrown out of the game. That meant that her team had to play a woman down. It also meant that it was the last time she and Christen would ever play together in a Stanford Uniform.
Seeing Kelley be ejected from the game really took a toll on Christen. Watching her sit on the sideline with her head in her palms was absolutely heart-breaking. She knew how much effort that her best friend had put forth to the team. They were one game away from winning the national championship. It was completely in their grasp. One might say that Kelley's sloppy tackle on #9 is what ultimately cost them the game.
When the UNC team held up three fingers while taking a picture with the trophy, Kelley had enough. She grabbed her bags and stormed onto the team's bus. She couldn't stand to see them celebrating something that should've been theirs. She stomped to the back of the bus and threw her things against the window. She slid her headphones over her ears and stared aimlessly out the window. Within minutes, she was asleep.
At some point during the ride, Christen had taken a seat next to Kelley.
"Kelley?" Christen asked while shaking her shoulder. "Kelley, we're at the hotel."
"How long-" Kelley let out a long yawn. "How long was I out?"
"Basically the whole ride. I came and sat next to you once we crossed the bridge."
Kelley groaned.
"It's okay," Christen flashed her a soft smile. "A nap was probably good for you. Now come on, coach wants us to get to our rooms."
The team headed into the hotel and were given their rooming assignments. Luckily enough, Christen and Kelley were sharing a room.
Once everyone was settled in, the team went out for a not-so-celebratory dinner. All of the girls agreed that even though their season didn't end as planned, the seniors on the squad definitely finished while giving their all.
-
The team got back to the hotel at about midnight. Christen and Kelley slowly but surely made their way back to their room.
Instead of going straight to their floor, they insisted on stopping on each floor so that they could see how different the view of the city was at each level. Christen would say that her favorite was the sixth floor; it had the perfect view of the skyline while still showing the far off mountains. Kelley would say that her favorite was the sixth floor as well; not because of the skyline or the mountains, but because of how Christen's smile grew as soon as she caught a glimpse of the scenery.
Once they made it back to their room, they both went right to bed. It had been a long day and they each, especially Kelley, wanted to forget it as soon as possible.
At about three in the morning, Kelley whispered into the darkness, "Christen? Are you awake?"
After a few seconds, Christen replied, "Yeah. Are you having trouble falling asleep?"
"Kinda. Can you- do you think you could just come lay with me for a little bit?"
"Um, yeah. Sure."
Christen stumbled around for a minute or two, but she eventually found Kelley's bed. They both laid on their sides and faced opposite directions. The silence continued to grow until Christen decided to break it.
"Kell?" Christen rolled over and stared right into Kelley's eyes as if her life depended on it. "Where do you see yourself in ten years? Like, what do you think you'll be doing?"
Kelley shrugged. "I don't know. Hopefully, I'll have a few gold medals. It would be nice to win at the Olympics. Maybe even the World Cup. But I don't know. I just want to make it through college."
"Sounds like you've got it all figured out."
Kelley snorted. "Not in the slightest bit."
"Maybe I'll be winning a World Cup with you one day."
The two paused for a second to marvel at the thought.
"Maybe."
Kelley rolled back onto her side so she was facing the wall. She tried to fall asleep for a second time, but Christen spoke up again. "Kell?"
"Yeah?" She didn't bother to face Christen this time.
"Where do you think your heart will be in ten years? Or even fifty?"
Kelley took a moment to ponder this thought. Before the silence grew too loud, she surely replied, "If all goes to plan, with you."
They both fell asleep with smiles plastered on their faces.
-
Kelley loved Sundays. But this Sunday was bittersweet for all the right reasons.
You make my heart feel like it's summer
When the rain is pouring down
You make my whole world feel so right when it's wrong
That's how I know you are the one
That's why I know you are the one
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Most people would say that diamonds are a girls best friend. But right now, 18 women would beg to differ.
They would argue that the gold medal hung around their necks were the only piece of jewelry in the world that currently mattered. After the devastating loss at the World Cup during the prior year, this win at the Olympics couldn't have come at a better time.
The entire team was on their way back to the hotel where they were staying. Their hard work was over; they were Olympic champions yet again. Due to the long-standing bus ride superstition claimed by the team (but mostly Alex Morgan), Christen was rightfully so sitting next to her best friend.
Everyone was singing, laughing, and cheering. The celebrations started immediately. Somehow, Kelley heard her phone ring amongst the loud bus.
"Hello?" She yelled into the receiver.
Christen could see the the confusion on her face. As quickly as she answered the phone, her confused expression turned to a light smile. With that, Christen didn't have to try to listen to Kelley's conversation any longer. She didn't need to guess. She knew exactly who would be calling at a time like this.
Ann.
Ann and Kelley have been on and off throughout college. Kelley would say that they were just waiting for the right time to figure things out. Ann would say that their situation is purely friends with benefits. The two had met through their sorority. Christen was never fond of Ann's intentions but for Kelley's sake she wouldn't dare to say anything negative. So just as a good friend would, she put on a smile and kept her mouth shut.
As painful as it was, Christen sat back into her seat, took a deep breath, and allowed herself to momentarily forget about the girl who was having the obnoxiously loud phone conversation. After all, she did just win the fucking Olympics.
-
The partying lasts all night and well into the morning. Everyone was laughing, dancing, and drinking. Oh, the drinking. If anyone ever wanted to see the Three Stooges come to life, all they have to do is give Megan, Sydney, and Kelley some alcohol. Those three really, really knew how to party. Christen was able to take down her share of champagne and beer but it definitely wasn't anywhere in comparison to what the majority of the team had.
As magical as that night was, Christen needed some air. To her, she loves nothing more than celebrating such a monumental occasion with her friends, family, and teammates, but there comes a point in the night that she has to escape by herself. A party that doesn't seem to have an end in sight is not the ideal place to collect one's thoughts so in passing, Christen quickly mentions to Lauren that she has to make a bathroom break and then she slips out to a bench on the street in from of the team's hotel.
How could she be thinking about her, Christen thought. Why worry about someone who isn't here when you're surrounded by people who actually do care about you?
It was difficult for Christen to wrap her head around Kelley and Ann's entire dynamic. Sure, she understands how anyone who spends more than fifteen minutes with Kelley could easily fall in love with her. Because let's be honest, what's not to love? People gravitate towards her. She radiates sunshine in a way that you'll never see in any other person. Kelley is a star. When Christen sees her, for a brief, fleeting second, the world stops and all that exists is Kelley.
But what Christen can't understand is why Kelley feels so compelled to make things work with Ann. Why her? What makes her so special? She has never put Kelley first and has never put their, for a lack of better words, relationship first. And Christen has no right to be jealous; she shouldn't be. How can she jealous if Kelley isn't even hers to begin with? But despite her best efforts not to be, she is so damn jealous. Maybe it's the unrequited love. But whatever it may be, Kelley has taken up permanent residency in Christen's heart.
She had lost all track of time because suddenly someone was sliding onto the bench next to her.
"Hey."
"Hey, Kell." Christen would recognize that perfume anywhere. Warm vanilla sugar with a hint of beer tonight.
Kelley had a noticeable buzz going, but she seemed to had sobered up since the last time Christen saw her. "I thought you might be out here. I figured you snuck out after Lauren said you've been on a bathroom break for over an hour," Kelley chuckled. "Either that or it was a number two emergency."
"Oh, come on," Christen pushed Kelley's shoulder. "That's disgusting, dude. Seriously?"
Kelley smiled softly to herself. She seemed content with her crude humor. The two fell into a comfortable silence.
As quickly as the silence came, though, it was gone. Kelley was the first to break it. She quietly cleared her throat. "Can I ask you something?"
"Go for it." Christen noticed that Kelley visibly tensed up.
"What do you think of Ann?"
Christen hesitated a second too long because Kelley picked up on it. "Um, she's nice. I really liked that wine she brought to your Christmas party last year. I can tell she has good taste." Good taste in wine and women, Christen thought.
"Yeah, she is nice. She was supposed to fly out here, you know."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. She got caught up at work. She would have been here, though."
Christen's silence spoke a thousand words. Kelley continued with a little more bite in her voice, "I know what you're thinking. That she was never coming in the first place. That's what everyone's thinking. I know."
"Oh, come on. Everyone is not thinking that."
"Yes. Yes, they are. And it's okay. I know they are. And I get it. I know how it looks. And I know you all think I deserve better, but this is good. I like where I'm at. It's what I deserve. It's safe and comfortable. I'm comfortable. I know Ann can be a little rough around the edges sometimes but she's good for me," Christen could tell that Kelley was just rambling at this point. "I don't need a label to know that we're secure. I trust her. Nobody else does, but I do. Sydney keeps telling me that she doesn't deserve endless amounts of chances but if it were me, I would want those chances. She's good for me, Christen. I know it's a little hard to see that but I know she is."
"As long as you're happy."
Kelley sighed and slumped down onto the bench.
"Are you happy?"
"I'm not unhappy."
"Hmmm. Can I ask you something, though?"
"Shoot away."
"Were you happy when you and I were, you know, whatever we were?"
Kelley stayed slumped but Christen could see a faint flicker of a smile on her face. "Yeah, I was. I mean, to be fair we were young and dumb. But that was still the happiest I had been in a while. We had some good times."
"Yeah, we did." Christen was smiling now, too.
"What even happened? With us?"
"I don't even know. Time, I guess. You graduated. Soccer happened. Life went on. And it sucks because it was just like they say; that you don't know that you have until it's gone."
"I get what you mean. It's kind of like I didn't know that I was sort of waiting around for you, and then you were in my life and then I realized all that I was doing was waiting for you. If that even makes sense. Like, I was so sure about you- about us. And don't get me wrong, I don't regret a thing. Everything with you was worth it. I just wish things had ended a little differently."
Christen's head perked up. "You were sure about us?"
"At the time? Hells yes."
"Do you think that'll ever be a thing again? Us?"
Kelley's hazel eyes met with Christen's brown. Their eyes reflected each other, showing them that something is about to push them past the boundaries of friendship. They were each sensing the other was waiting for someone to make a move, to give some sort of signal.
Although it was a bit unlike her, Christen was going to take her chance. She couldn't take anymore waiting and what better time than when you can blame it on the alcohol? She leaned down to meet Kelley's lips.
Kelley could feel her heart thumping in her ear. She knew that she had Ann to think about. But she was on another continent while Christen is right here in front of her. She knew that if she continued with Christen right now, a line would be drawn in the sand between her and Ann. A little voice in the back of her head told her to trust that it will all be worth it in the end. That was all the confirmation she needed. With that, she leaned in to meet Christen halfway. They closed their eyes and they both felt a spark as their lips touched.
The kissed was so familiar, yet so new at the same time. It tasted like college, and frat parties, and away games. But it also tasted like new adventures, the future, and family.
Kelley raised her hands that were carefully placed on Christen's thighs and brought them up to the back of her head. She ran her fingers through her hair and ever so slightly tightened her grip so she could deepen their kiss. Christen let out a small moan and Kelley laughed into the kiss because if any one thing about this is going to stir up old memories, it would be that moan.
Before things could get too hot and heavy, the front door to the hotel opened. And just as fast as it began, their kiss ended and Kelley and Christen quickly slid apart. With their hands crossed in their laps, they look up to see a pretty far gone Heather Mitts stumble out. "Hey!" Heather slurred. "There you guys are! Come back inside! You're missing the party!"
Kelley and Christen shared a quick glance and then escorted their inebriated teammate back inside. Nothing had to be said, but they knew their good times hadn't come to an end.
-
Kelley loved Sundays. But this Thursday was an exception.
When we are together you make me feel like my mind is free
And my dreams are reachable
You know I never ever believed in love or believed one day
That you would come along
Friday, July 5, 2019
"I give you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, to stand by your side in good times and in bad, to share your joy as well as your sorrow," Kelley murmurs.
Christen freezes. Her only movement is to open wide her fathomless eyes and gaze at Kelley as she continues her wedding vows.
"I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, literally and figuratively, and dreams, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, to share my hopes and dreams with you, and bring you solace in times of need." Kelley pauses. Christen watches her, lips parted, but says nothing.
"And to cherish you for as long as we both shall live." Kelley sighs.
"Oh, Kell," Christen whispers.
She straightens herself up and clears her throat. "Kelley, I solemnly vow myself to you. I will hold dear and deep in my heart our union and you," she whispers, her voice soft. "I promise to love you faithfully, through the good times and the bad, in sickness or in health, regardless of where life takes us. I will protect you, trust you, and respect you. I will share your joys and sorrows and comfort you in times of need. I promise to cherish you and uphold your hopes and dreams and keep you safe at my side. All that is mine is now yours. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love from this moment on for as long as we both shall live."
-
"Hey," Kelley let out a soft yawn. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For staying by my side. I know I'm a work in progress, but you make everything make sense."
"Can you stop thanking me? We're married for goodness sake."
"I know, I know. It's just crazy to try and wrap my head around it. You were my first love and I never wanted anything more than for you to be my last. Like, when I met you in college, I swore that you were as straight as an arrow. And now here we are in our hotel room, after our wedding, getting ready to leave for our honeymoon." Kelley looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand. "It's getting late. We should probably go to bed."
"I love you."
Kelley rolls onto her side and leans over and gives Christen a quick, but deep kiss. "I love you, too."
Kelley slipped right into an easy sleep but like always, Christen was left to her thoughts. She could not have been any more excited that she was about to spend the rest of her life with her best friend.
As she was slowly falling into a peaceful sleep, her mind fluttered to a conversation that she had with Kelley ten years earlier.
Kelley was right.
Her heart had stayed with Christen for ten years and many more to come.
-
Kelley loved Fridays. But this was a Friday for the record books.