Watching You
The O'Hara-Press family was not your run-of-the-mill family. How often do you see gold medals and trophies strewn around someone's house? And not just any gold medals or trophies, no. There were World Cup medals, Olympic medals, Hermann trophies, CONCACAF medals, golden boots, All-American awards; and that's just scratching the surface. But among all of that prestige, there were four other prizes that put the rest of Kelley and Christen's accomplishments to shame. Those four prizes being their children.
Bethany, the oldest, was carried by Christen and was arguably the most difficult pregnancy out of the four. Not only was getting pregnant with IVF a struggle enough, the pregnancy itself was a challenge. But once their first bundle of joy arrived, all of their endeavors were well worth it.
A year later, the couple decided they had room in their hearts, and their house, for another child. So Kelley assured that this time it was her turn to carry. This time, using intrauterine insemination, Kelley and Christen had their second child, Cody. Kelley emphatically insisted their first son was to be named after Christen's father. Of course, Christen had no arguments with this.
And two years after Cody entered the world, Kelley and Christen came to the conclusion that there was just something missing in their house. After a fair amount of deliberation, the pair seemed to agree that the missing link in their life was a third child. So, then came Wyatt. He was carried by Christen and was thankfully a much easier pregnancy than his older sister.
The O'Hara-Press clan was sitting pretty at 3 kids. Life was good and the living was easy. But contrary to popular belief, baby fever was alive and well and somehow Christen convinced Kelley to have just one more because Gosh Kell, you make such cute kids. How could we not? So then came Abigail. The last piece in their family's puzzle.
Well, then my four year old said a four letter word
That started with "S" and I was concerned
So I said, "Son, now where'd you learn to talk like that?"
"Alright Ab, I think that's everything," Kelley said as she slammed the trunk of her car. "You ready?"
"Yes ma'am." Abigail gave her mom two big thumbs up and she was met with two thumbs up back from her mother.
"Okay, cool beans."
"Cool beans," her daughter thoughtlessly repeated back.
Kelley and her youngest had just finished up a long day of errands, errands, and more errands. Her days off aren't quite as fun as they used to be.
Their last stop of the day being Target to grab a few groceries and some things for the house. Christen was at work, Bethany, Cody, and Wyatt were at school, and even though Abigail was supposed to be at preschool for the day, Kelley let her play hooky so she could have a shopping buddy. And to no surprise, there were no complaints from the four year old.
Kelley buckled Abigail into her car seat and the two drove off out of the parking lot.
They were making their way through the winding roads of Los Altos Hills, California. Kelley was casually tapping her thumbs along to the melodic beat of some overplayed Top 40 pop song on the radio. She looked out of her driver's side window for all of about two seconds and when she focused her eyes back on the road, the car in front of her had hit their brakes. Thank God her reaction time was still there because Kelley slammed on her brakes and white knuckled her steering wheel until her car came to a stop.
"Shit!" came from the back seat.
Kelley spun around and looked her child up and down. "What did you just say?"
Without realizing what she said, Abigail repeated herself. "I said shit."
"Abby, you can't say that. That's a bad word, okay?"
The four year old seemed to be confused by this. "You and mommy say it. Mostly you. You say it a lot."
"I know I do. And I shouldn't," Kelley rubbed her temples. "But that's a grownup word, alright? You can't say that."
Abigail appeared to understand a little better now. "So I can say it when I'm a grownup?"
"If that's what you want to do."
"Okay," Abigail paused for a moment then continued, "I'm going to say it a lot. Like you do."
This was definitely Kelley's kid.
We got back home, and I went to the barn
I bowed my head, and I prayed real hard
Said, "Lord please help me help my stupid self"
After she and Abigail got home and unloaded their groceries, Kelley headed into her and her wife's bedroom. It gave her her own space and some peace and quiet. Something about the interaction she had with her daughter in the car just wasn't sitting well with her.
She sat on the edge of her bed and found herself speaking into the silence. She wasn't sure if she was talking to herself, or God, or whoever was listening. She just wanted to speak no matter who was or wasn't heeding.
Kelley wasn't sure how much time had passed when she heard Christen enter their room. Her head was still in the palms of her hands and she still didn't look up when she heard her wife approaching. She finally lifted her head when she felt the weight shift on the bed and she sat next to her.
"Abby said her mama was upset," Christen rested her head on Kelley's shoulder. "What's that all about?"
Kelley let out a long breath and ceased for a beat before explaining, "So we were in the car, right? And I had to slam on my brakes really fast and in the heat of the moment or whatever Abby was like 'shit' and I had no idea what to do or say, and I still don't. Like, that's our baby Chris, and she has the mouth of a trucker. And she said she said it because we say it. And I'm realizing that we're like actually raising these kids here, and what we do and say matters. They're picking up on those things. What if we fuck them up? Like what if we raise a bunch of hoodlums because we can't watch our mouths."
Christen couldn't help but grin, mostly at Kelley's use of "hoodlums." Oddly enough, she liked seeing her wife get exasperated over their children. It showed she cared. "We're not going to fuck these kids up. If anything, they're raising us more than we're raising them. They're good kids, Kell. We have to watch our mouths a little more around the kids, so what? This isn't the end of the world." She rubbed her wife's shoulders. "We're doing just fine. If Abby repeating curse words is out biggest problem right now, I think we're more than okay. Don't you?"
"Yeah, I guess."
Christen stood up and put her hands on Kelley's shoulders. "Suck it up, buttercup. We're in it for the long haul." She bent down and gave her wife a quick kiss. "Don't mope around up here for too long. Pizza will be here in ten."
Said, "My little bear is growing up"
He said, "But when I'm big, I'll still know what to do"
After what felt like one of the longest days that she has had in a while, the day was finally coming to an end and honestly, Kelley could not wait for it to end. The thought of royally messing up her children was mentally exhausting.
Christen was in her office finishing up some work, Bethany and Cody were on the couches in the family room watching The Loud House, Wyatt and Abigail were also on one of the couches but they were fast asleep.
Kelley first carried Wyatt upstairs and tucked him in. She kissed him on the forehead and whispered a quick "Goodnight, buddy," to him and was given a groggy, "Night, mama. Love you."
She then went back downstairs, picked up Abigail, and carried her upstairs to her bedroom. While being tucked in, Abigail woke up. Her tired eyes met her mom's and she softly said, "Mommy told me I'm not in trouble, but I know you're mad."
"I'm not mad, bub."
"Really?"
"Really," Kelley wrapped the comforter around her daughter. "Now, let's just go to bed, okay?"
"Okay. Night night, mama."
Kelley was walking to the bedroom door when she heard her daughter speak up again. She said, "Mama, I want to be like you when I grow up."
"Well, that's crazy talk. Because I want to be like you when I grow up."
She was met with a soft smile and two thumbs up. "Cool beans."
Kelley tossed up two thumbs up back. "Exactly. Cool beans. Goodnight, Ab."