Fears
"Ugh, Carm!" Laura moaned loudly as she rode on top of her.
"Shh!" the brunette started to laugh. The soldier let out another moan. "Okay, seriously. Am I gonna have to gag you?" she asked in amusement.
"Stop laughing," Laura groaned as she continued her movements. "I'm busy."
Carmilla scoffed as she lifted her hands off of the woman on top of her and placed them behind her head. "Well then don't let me get in your way," she threw back with heavy sarcasm.
The blonde glared down at her. "Don't challenge me, Karnstein."
The cafe owner rolled her eyes. "The only challenge I'm giving you is to not wake up the whole neighborhood. Specifically, our daughter down the hall."
"Hey! Last time was definitely your fault!" They've had many occasions when their extracurricular activities caused a knock on the bedroom door from a concerned little girl.
"And majority of the time, it's yours," Carmilla replied calmly.
Laura groaned. "I'm sorry for enjoying myself," she bit back.
"Well enjoy yourself quietly."
"I would, but you're too busy being a jerk."
"I'm the jerk? You were five seconds away from shrieking like a banshee!"
"And you're five seconds away from not getting lucky tonight!"
Their eyes met in the dimly lit room; a glare daring each other to make the next move. Then, Carmilla removed her hands from behind her head and cupped Laura's breasts. The blonde looked down before locking eyes with her again.
"Really?"
"I didn't know what to say and your boobs were distracting me," the brunette explained simply as she gave them a quick squeeze. Laura swatted at her hands, which made Carmilla smirk and rest them on the soldier's thighs instead.
"So you're gonna be a tool now?"
The smirk grew even more. "I'll be whatever tool you want me to be." Laura rolled her eyes before Carmilla continued. "Get over here." The blonde leaned down and kissed Carmilla slowly. The brunette bit down on her bottom lip with a hum. "That was nice," she whispered. "But those aren't the lips I'm looking for."
Laura's mouth opened slightly. "You expect me to be quiet for that?"
Carmilla chuckled. "Cover your mouth," she suggested.
Despite the soldier's huff, she was actually quite eager. She crawled up Carmilla's body, her knees placed on either side of her head. The cafe owner smirked up at her before placing her hands on Laura's hips and ushering her down.
She started by placing gentle kisses along her slit. Laura sighed at the contact as one of her hands held on to the headboard and the other pulled through Carmilla's wavy hair.
Soft lips hummed against Laura's center. And then her tongue began dragging through her at an agonizing pace. The solder breathed in sharply, earning a grin from the woman beneath her.
Carmilla swirled her tongue around her clit, flicking it gently after hearing the blonde's breathing hitch. Her fingers massaged her hips as she continued to drag her tongue along her length. Laura bit down on her lip to suppress a moan. She started to rock herself into Carmilla's actions.
Then, Carmilla dove in deeper; Laura's wetness driving her on. She licked, and kissed, and sucked. Tasting her was a turn on of its own; she moaned into her center. Laura's whimpering from above caused her to dig her fingertips into her hips, dragging her nails down her ass and squeezing firmly. Laura threw her head back and started grinding down into Carmilla.
Her nose rubbed against her clit as her tongue slipped in and out of her entrance. Laura's hand left Carmilla's hair in favor of biting down on her forearm to prevent any rogue moans from escaping. Her other hand had a death grip on the headboard as she continued to ride Carmilla's face; arching her back in the process.
Knock, knock, knock.
Laura flung herself off of Carmilla, stumbling off of the bed and onto the floor. She managed to bang her knee into Carmilla's nose in the process, causing the brunette to yelp at the impact. She rubbed her nose as she tried to sit up in bed.
"Mommy? Mama?" the muffled voice came from beyond the door.
Carmilla cleared her throat. "One sec," she said with a raspy voice as she swung her legs off the edge of the bed. She picked up a discarded shirt and shorts, not bothering to check whose it was, and put them on hastily.
Laura grabbed Carmilla's robe hanging off the bathroom door and threw it on right before the brunette opened the door.
"What's up, kid?" She had to clear her throat again.
"I thought I heard something in my room," she said quietly, staring down at the floor sheepishly.
Laura came stomping over. "Oh yeah?" she asked with too much determination that made Carmilla's eyebrows shoot up toward her hairline. "Let's go kill it," Laura added as she passed between the two standing in the doorway and marching down the hall.
Yeah, she might have been a little frustrated.
After investigating the entire room, tucking Livie back into bed, and placing Mr. Fox next to her, they managed to sneak out of the room without waking her.
The soldier slammed her body back onto the bed with a groan. "I was quiet!"
Carmilla started laughing. "Surprisingly, you were. Guess we just have shitty luck." She crawled onto the bed and laid down on top of Laura; her chin resting of the blonde's breastbone.
"I can't even be mad at her," Laura grumbled as she started playing with tendrils of Carmilla's dark hair.
The brunette lifted a brow with a slight smile. "This is you not being mad at her?" she asked in disbelief.
"I'm sexually frustrated. It's different," the soldier answered with a sigh. "She was just a scared little girl. How can I hold that against her?"
"That's awfully mature of you, Hollis."
"Yay, me."
"I'd be pissed if I was two seconds from an orgasm and had to stop," Carmilla admitted with a chuckle. Laura groaned once again. The cafe owner shook her head before leaning up and untying the robe around Laura. She opened it up as the blonde watched her curiously.
"How 'bout I help with that frustration?"
Twelve Years Ago...
Carmilla was walking the streets of Silas that Friday night with the most bored expression on her face. It was junior prom night, and there was no way in hell she would be caught dead at that particular school function. She started the night playing her guitar, but quickly lost interest. Then, she tried to watch some mindless television, but that didn't entertain her for long either. So, she went for a walk. The stars were out and the weather was nice; it didn't seem like a bad idea.
But then she saw Laura Hollis laying down on a bench on the sidewalk. Her hands were placed behind her head as she stared up at the sky.
"What are you doing here?" Carmilla asked suddenly, which made the blonde jump in surprise.
"Jesus! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" she replied as she sat up.
"Shouldn't you be all dressed up and dancing to some mediocre music right now?"
Laura shrugged. "Didn't feel like it."
The brunette stared at her incredulously. "I'm pretty sure I've heard you ramble on about this stupid dance for the past month."
"Well, things changed."
Carmilla took a deep breath before letting it out in frustration. Laura's girlfriend broke up with her last week. The girl told her she had feelings for someone else. It took everything in Carmilla not to go punch her in the face. Especially after witnessing a crying Laura.
She might have keyed her car a little.
"Cupcake, you had your dress and everything. You have plenty of friends. You didn't need a date to go."
"And see her dancing with someone else while I'm miserable and alone? No thanks."
Carmilla clenched her jaw before sitting down next to her on the bench. Her gaze rested on the street in front of them. "I would have taken you."
Laura's head whipped toward the brunette. "What?"
She sighed. "If I knew this was your plan tonight, I would have taken you."
The blonde shook her head with furrowed brows. She was trying to wrap her mind around the situation. "But you hate anything to do with school. You laughed in my face when I asked if you were going."
Carmilla finally turned to look at her. Their eyes locked and Laura felt the air in her lungs disappear.
"This isn't about me."
The blonde's heart was pounding in her chest as Carmilla's dark eyes stared back at her. This was new for her. Whatever she was feeling was surprising, but not entirely unwelcome. Yes, she always knew she was attracted to the broody brunette, but something felt different. Something made her stomach twist and turn and her cheeks turn red.
Ever since the night she watched Carmilla drunkenly steal the baby Jesus, she found herself willingly engaging in conversation with her. Spending time with her was actually something she looked forward to. Sure, the brunette was still a pain in her ass, but it was more endearing now.
"Why?" was all Laura managed to say.
"Because seeing you sad is more annoying than your regular perky self."
A tiny smile appeared on the blonde's lips. Carmilla frowned.
"Don't look at me like that," she said grumpily. Laura began to grin.
"Like what?" she teased.
"Like that." She broke eye contact and fidgeted in her seat.
"Like you're a secret softy and don't like seeing me sad?" Laura continued to tease.
Carmilla rolled her eyes. "You know what? Nevermind. Stay sad."
The blonde's smile was still beaming. "Nope. I'm too busy enjoying the fact that Carmilla Karnstein actually cares about me."
She scoffed. As if that was news... Anyone with eyes would have known that by now. "Why are you out here anyway?"
Laura sighed. "My parents kept looking at me with this... look of pity. I didn't need to see that."
Carmilla stayed quiet for a moment before standing up suddenly. "Alright. Let's go."
The blonde stared back with wide eyes. "What? Where?"
"To the stupid dance. Get up."
"Carm, it's already halfway done. It's fine."
"It's funny that you think I'm asking." Her stare was challenging and Laura felt a shiver go up her spine.
"But- We're not even dressed."
Carmilla shrugged. "You know how I like to be a rebel."
"Why are you pushing this?"
The brunette crouched down slightly to be at eye level with her. "Because I know you want to go. And I'm not gonna let your idiotic ex ruin this for you."
Laura forced a swallow at her proximity. "But she's still gonna be there with her."
A smirk appeared across Carmilla's lips, catching Laura's full attention. "And you'll be there with me. I'd say you got the better deal." She stood back up and held her hand down to the blonde. "Let's go turn some heads, cupcake."
Present Day...
"Do you think I'm stupid?" Carmilla asked innocently as she sat across the table from Laf.
"Yes." They smiled. "But not about this."
The brunette glared. "So you agree with me?"
"No. Laura makes a good point. The money is for Livie. It'd be nice for her to have when college comes around. I know you don't like where it came from, or the reason behind it, but it's kind of unfair to take that away from her."
"So I'm wrong?"
"No. What you feel makes sense. You're allowed to feel that way."
Carmilla huffed. "Okay, gingerbread. You're giving me zero help right now."
They shrugged. "It's a tough situation."
"Why am I even talking to you?"
"Because you love my company."
Carmilla scoffed.
Laura then came running out of the apartment and through the cafe. "Hi, love you, bye!" she yelled to her fiancee as she ran out of the door.
"Uh, what?" Carmilla asked in confusion well after the blonde had exited the building.
Laf shrugged with raised brows. "She's your future wife. You'd know more than I would."
"I'll never fully understand Laura Hollis."
The ginger hummed. "Get a girl that keeps you on your toes," they smiled.
"So you gonna tell me where you ran off to this morning?" Carmilla asked as she sat on a bench in the park with Laura. Livie was on the swings with her friends from school. "Sale at the bakery or something?" she smirked.
The soldier glared. "No, there was a sale on couches. I bought one for you."
Carmilla rolled her eyes as she rested an arm behind the blonde on the bench. "You always threaten me with a couch, but you never follow through with it. You're all talk, cupcake."
"Try testing it. See what happens."
The brunette let out a surprised whistle. "Wow. Okay, what's wrong?"
Laura crossed her arms over her chest. "Why does there have to be something wrong?"
"Um, because your tone is lacking the playful quality I'm used to."
She frowned. "I've just- I've got a lot on my mind."
Carmilla looked at her with anticipation before giving her a gentle nudge. "Care to share with the class?"
"No."
The brunette let a beat of silence pass before letting out a heavy sigh.
"And what was that for?" Laura asked in irritation.
"What?"
"That big huff you just did."
Carmilla leaned up more, removing her arm from behind Laura. "Why are you looking for a fight right now?"
"You started this."
"All I did was ask you a question!"
"And you didn't like my answer!"
"Yeah, because something is obviously bothering you!"
"Well maybe you can't fix everything!"
"Oh my God," Carmilla said as she rose to her feet.
"Where are you going?"
"Away from whatever this is," she gestured toward the blonde.
"Is that how you deal with problems? You run away?"
"No, sweetheart. That's all you." And once the words left her mouth, she immediately wanted to rip out her tongue.
The soldier's mouth hung open; honey eyes wide. "Really?" she whispered in disbelief. Carmilla opened her mouth to try to form words, but failed. "How long are you going to shove that in my face?"
"That's not- Damn it! That's not why I-" Carmilla frowned and massaged her forehead for a moment. "It's not about that! You're still avoiding your problems! You do this every time! Something goes wrong and your first instinct is to push people away. Whether it's for their safety, or your own. Either way, I think it's selfish."
"Wait, how would pushing someone away for their safety be selfish?"
"Because you don't even give them a choice! You do what you think is right, and nothing else seems to get through!"
"You get through!"
"Barely!"
They stared at each other for a moment. A few of the parents nearby were eyeing them. Livie was watching with a frown before she cautiously made her way over. Noticing the little girl coming, the two women took a few deep breaths and tried to find their composure.
"Why are you fighting?" Livie asked sheepishly. Her big brown eyes shined up at them with worry.
Laura smiled sadly at her and reached out to smooth out her dark hair. "We're not fighting, squirt." Carmilla scoffed, which earned a glare from the blonde.
"But you guys were yelling..." the little girl added.
Carmilla sighed before placing her hand on her daughter's shoulder. "Mama and I were just disagreeing about something. You know how you argue with Timmy about what the best candy is? It's like that."
Livie furrowed her brows in thought. "Which candies were you guys arguing about?"
Laura and Carmilla met each other's gaze for a second with wide eyes before chuckling. "Twizzlers, of course," Carmilla answered.
The blonde scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "Obviously Reese's."
Livie shook her head rapidly. "You're both wrong! It's Kisses!" She really did love Hershey's Kisses.
Carmilla smirked before placing a kiss on the top of her head. "Of course it is."
Laura stood up from the bench. "Come on. Let's head back," she said as she placed a hand against the little girl's shoulder blade. The soldier looked up to meet Carmilla's eyes. They knew things were unfinished.
Later that night, after tucking Livie into bed, Carmilla came back out into the living room and slammed down on the couch next to Laura. "Alright. Let's do this."
The blonde turned toward her harshly. "Why does it always come back to me leaving you?"
"I was only saying that you have issues facing your problems head on. It wasn't about you leaving."
"It really didn't come out that way, Carm."
She ran a hand through her hair. "I know. I just- When you shut me out- It pisses me off!"
"And it pisses me off when you push for me to talk."
Carmilla shook her head before placing her hand on Laura's knee. "Laura, we're getting married. We're spending the rest of our lives together. I shouldn't have to push you to talk. You should just be able to talk to me. I'm here for you. I'm always here."
Laura took a deep breath before putting her hand on top of the brunette's. "I know you are." She squeezed her hand. "I'm sorry."
"So can you please tell me what's going on?"
"One of my superior officers- Well, former superior officer, I guess- He was in town. He wanted to meet with me. They got wind that I was doing work for the newspaper and such. He knows some people looking for journalists and asked me if I was interested."
"That's great!" Carmilla smiled proudly at her.
Laura shook her head. "It's overseas, Carm. For six months."
The brunette felt her chest immediately deflate. She slid her hand out from under the soldier's. "And you're considering this?"
"No! I mean- Not really."
"What'd you tell him?"
The blonde hesitated. "That I'd think about it."
Carmilla let out a disgusted laugh before rising to her feet. "Well, shit."
"I didn't say 'yes'!"
"You didn't say 'no'!" Carmilla paced a little before looking back at her incredulously. "Jesus, Laura. We're getting fucking married. You have a daughter now!"
"I know!"
"Do you? Because I feel like that's not really something permanently in your brain," she emphasized as she tapped her index finger against her temple.
"It is! I want you. I want Livie."
"Then fucking act like it!" They came to a standstill then. Both looking at each other and slightly breathless. "For someone wanting me to get over you leaving, you sure know how to make me question it again."
Laura looked down to her lap. "I didn't say 'yes'," she whispered.
Carmilla let out a single chuckle with her jaw clenching. "Don't bother getting up. You can stay on the couch tonight. Ironic, huh?" She then stormed off into the bedroom.
The soldier hunched over and buried her face into her hands. She honestly didn't know what she was thinking. That was mostly why she didn't want to tell Carmilla about the offer yet. She didn't understand why she didn't say 'no'. Maybe she was still scared of being a wife; being a mother. But was that really scarier than going back into territory where bombs and guns existed?
Maybe it wasn't as scary because she knew what to expect. And she had already experienced the worst.
She shook her head before curling up into herself on the couch. She laid there tossing and turning; only falling asleep for short periods of time before waking up again. Then, she heard a door creaking open.
Laura opened her eyes to see Carmilla crouched down in front of her. "Let's go," she said softly.
The blonde leaned up on her elbow. "Carm, I deserve to be here. It's fine."
"I'm doing this for me," the brunette said with dark piercing eyes. Laura had to force a swallow at how powerful the woman seemed. Carmilla then stood up and held her hand down to the soldier. "I don't like sleeping without you next to me."
The blonde felt her eyes begin to water. She forced another swallow before accepting her outstretched hand and being led to the bedroom. They crawled into bed; Laura hesitant to get close. But then, Carmilla reached out and pulled her into her arms; the blonde resting her head against her chest. Laura listened to the soft drumming of Carmilla's heart.
How could that sound be scarier than gunfire?