Chasing Ghosts

Livie came running into the bedroom, while Carmilla was bent over unpacking a suitcase of Laura's clothes. "Mommy, look!"

The woman straightened up before turning to look at her daughter. Her eyebrows shot toward her hairline. "What the-"

"I'm Box Girl!" she grinned. Slots were cut out of a box for Livie's head and arms to fit through. It covered her torso, but sat lopsided on her shoulders. Her pigtails brushed lightly against the cardboard, while her hands donned mismatching socks.

Carmilla started to laugh before running a hand through her hair. "Is that some sort of superhero?" she asked as sweat dripped down her back. She then put her hair up in a quick ponytail. Apparently the summer finally finished its walkabout because the temperature spiked instantaneously. Carrying around heavy boxes probably wasn't helping either.

Livie nodded eagerly. 'Box Girl' was written on the front of her 'costume' in black lettering.

"And what exactly can Box Girl do?"

"She leads an army of rocks with hand socks!"

Carmilla began to chuckle at the ridiculousness of it all. Box, rocks, socks... She was seeing the pattern. "Anything else?"

"She can turn people into foxes!"

Her mother then squinted curiously. "What?" There was only so much she could pretend to understand.

Laura came through the bedroom door with a box in her hands. "'Scuse me, Liv."

"Box Girl!" Livie corrected with a frown as she stepped aside. She tried to cross her arms over her chest, but failed due to her box-torso.

"Yikes! Sorry, Box Girl!" The blonde giggled as she placed the box down on the bed. She then stood up straight, meeting Carmilla's stare. The brunette cocked an eyebrow as she took in Laura's appearance.

She wore a headband possessing cat ears, and had a black nose drawn on the tip of her nose.

"And you're a cat?"

"No! I'm a fox!" Laura grinned. She shielded her mouth from Livie with her hand. "The cat ears were the best we could do," she whispered.

Will peeked his head into the room. "Hey, Laura? So... I kind of dropped one of your mugs." He gave a sheepish smile. His forehead read 'FOX'. 

Laura narrowed her honey eyes in his direction. "Which one?"

"The one with Cookie Monster poking the Pillsbury Dough Boy's stomach."

She frowned before sighing. "At least it wasn't my TARDIS mug..."

Carmilla's eyes still rested on Will's forehead, disregarding the conversation. Only one mug mattered to Laura Hollis, and Carmilla personally made sure of its safety an hour ago. Any other mug didn't warrant the brunette's attention. In other words, she didn't hesitate to change the subject. "Not enough cat ears to go around?"

Will grinned at his sister. "We can't all be so lucky."

Kirsch then joined him in the doorway as he started pumping free weights into the air. "Where do you want these weights?" His forehead read 'CHICKEN'.

"Okay, why the hell is Kirsch a chicken?" Carmilla frowned in confusion.

"Mommy! Language!" Livie frowned at her mother; trying to put her sock covered hands on her hips, but the box got in her way once again.

"Sorry," the woman grumbled.

"The chicken is for the foxes to eat!" Livie exclaimed happily.

"That's... a bit morbid, kiddo," Carmilla laughed hesitantly as she rubbed the back of her neck.

"That's the food chain, babe!" Kirsch cheered as he continued to lift the weights.

"Am I the only one actually doing anything productive right now?" Carmilla asked in irritation.

"Hey! I just brought the last box up!" Laura argued, placing her hands on her hips.

"And who helped Liv-"

"Box Girl!" Livie whined.

"Sorry," the mother said to her daughter before looking back at her girlfriend. "Who helped Box Girl with that costume?" the brunette pointed out knowingly.

Laura's hands on her hips fell to her sides as she let out a sheepish smile. Will then spoke up. "Hey, we're helping!" he gestured toward himself and Kirsch.

"William, breaking things is the opposite of productive. And Richard Simmons over there just keeps picking things up and moving them around the apartment."

Livie then walked up to her mother and took her hand. She started to pull her out of the room. "Come on, mommy. You can be my sidekick! Crocodile Lady! Croc Lady!"

"Uh, 'Croc' doesn't really rhyme with 'box', kiddo," Carmilla replied, letting her daughter pull her into the living room.

"That's okay! It's close enough!" she cheered. She then leaned closer to her in order to whisper. "Kirsch is about to get chicken pox." She then raised her hands in the air in alarm; eyes widening as well. "The foxes are in danger of going hungry!"

"Oh no..."

"We have to get our army of rocks!" she yelled running across the living room.

"Where are we- Oh Jesus..." Carmilla stopped herself after seeing Livie run back to her with a box full of rocks.

"Hey, Box Girl! Wanna go for a ride with me and Kirsch? We gotta take the truck back to the station," Will asked as the two men walked toward the apartment door.

The little girl turned to her mother with puppy eyes. "Can I, mommy?"

"Sure," she said with a small smile. Livie quickly put the box of rocks on the couch before running after Kirsch out the door. "Make sure she puts on her seat belt," she instructed her brother before he gave a thumbs up and exited.

Laura came out of the bedroom and walked toward Carmilla. The mother sighed and chuckled. She turned to look at her girlfriend. "My daughter is a box."

The blonde grinned. "And I'm a fox."

"You sure are," the cafe owner smirked before pulling Laura closer using her belt loops. She kissed her slowly; Laura sighing in contentment when she pulled away. Carmilla then tapped the soldier on her nose. "Is that permanent marker?"

"Oh God, no! Eyeliner pencil." She then grinned. "You want one too?"

Carmilla chuckled. "No thanks. I'm good."

"You sure? I bet you'd look cute as a fox- Well, a cat, I guess," Laura corrected with a slight giggle.

"I'm not the cute-type."

"Yeah, sure," Laura mocked, rolling her eyes. "You don't want to be a fox with me?" she pouted.

Carmilla smirked again. "Nah. I much rather be a crocodile." She leaned in and pecked Laura's lips before biting down on the blonde's bottom lip and pulling lightly. "I like the idea of eating you." She winked.

Laura pushed playfully at Carmilla's shoulder. "You're such a perv!" she exclaimed, turning and making her way toward a box sitting outside the bedroom. 

"What?! That's the food chain, babe!"

Eleven Years Ago...

It was a Friday night. The last day of school before winter break. Kirsch was throwing one of his many parties in celebration. Most of their grade was there, along with half of the senior class, but to be fair, the school wasn't that big to begin with. Laura was having fun, but it got to the point in the night when everyone was beyond buzzed and heading into vomit territory. She had been stuck one too many times with cleanup duty since she was always the sober one. Tonight she was bailing before it reached that point.

She pulled her coat around her tighter, rubbing her gloved hands together as she stepped out into the frosty air. She let out a deep breath and watched the warm air from her mouth float away in the wind.

As she walked down the steps of Kirsch's porch, she noticed two people standing by the picket fence. When she got closer, her eyebrow rose. Carmilla was smirking at some blonde who kept touching the brunette's arm. Then, Laura apparently caught Carmilla's eye because the smirk the brunette was wearing somehow turned brighter.

"Hey, cupcake," she winked, causing Laura to scoff.

She continued to walk past them, shaking her head. "Have a good night, Carmilla," she said lazily, turning and walking down the sidewalk. 

Carmilla rolled her eyes, but her gaze remained on the departing party guest.

"Let's go back inside. It's freezing," the girl that Carmilla had been making out with earlier complained.

"You go on ahead."

"What?"

"I'm gonna head out," the brunette explained, her eyes still glued to Laura's back.

"Then I'll leave with you," the girl said in a sultry voice, stepping into Carmilla's space and placing her hands on leather covered hips.

"Uh," Carmilla began as she looked down to see the girl getting handsy. She grabbed the girl's wrists and removed her hands from her hips. "I'm good. Thanks though," she said before brushing past the girl and hurrying after Laura.

"Yo! Cupcake! Slow it down!" Carmilla yelled as she jogged up next to her.

Laura rolled her eyes, turning to see the brunette falling in step with her. "I'm surprised you ended your date so early."

Carmilla chuckled. "Don't be jealous. I've given you all the chances in the world, Hollis."

"Gross."

"Like I've never seen you checking me out..."

The blonde's mouth fell open, her steps halted for a moment. "I have never checked you out!" Carmilla hadn't stopped walking, spinning around and continuing down the sidewalk backwards. She smirked, and Laura felt her blood boiling at the sight of it.

"Liar."

Laura started walking again, Carmilla still walking backwards. "You're disgusting. There's nothing remotely attractive about you."

The brunette openly laughed. "You're the worst liar in the world," she commented before reaching into her leather jacket and pulling out a flask. She took a long swig. 

Laura's honey eyes raked over the girl's body. Obviously she was lying. Carmilla's attractiveness was always one hundred percent present. The girl just generally pissed her off to no end though. She couldn't deny Carmilla was looking hot in her current outfit; leather pants, a leather jacket, a band t-shirt underneath, and a beanie on her head. She frowned after realizing she was actually checking her out at the moment.

"How are you not freezing?" she asked in irritation at both the girl and herself.

"Alcohol," Carmilla explained, waving the flask in the air before tucking it back in her coat. "Plus, I'm just naturally hot." She winked. "But you already knew that, huh?" she added with a grin.

"Ugh! Alcohol makes you even more unbearable!" Laura exclaimed, picking up her pace and passing the brunette.

Carmilla laughed loudly again, falling into step with her once more. They were now in the center of town. It was quiet, as expected for two in the morning. "And I'm sure you're as sober as can be."

"Yep."

"You're adorable," the brunette tried to say mockingly, but it came out much more genuine than desired. She tripped over a crack in the sidewalk, causing Laura to reach out and steady her.

"And you're drunk."

Carmilla scoffed, wagging her arm to get Laura off her. "We can't all be Little Miss Perfect."

"You know what? Go ahead and trip again. I'd love to see you fall on your face," Laura replied bitterly.

"I'm sure you'd love to see me do a lot of things," Carmilla challenged with that stupid smirk. Laura's gloved hands curled into fists.

"You're the most vile person I've ever met."

Carmilla froze with a grin on her face. "Wow! Vile? That's one hell of a SAT word. Someone's been studying..."

Laura spun around to face her. "Would you prefer wicked or sinful?" she deadpanned.

Somehow the brunette's smile turned even more devilish. A shiver ran up Laura's spine. 

"What I wouldn't give to corrupt the righteous Laura Hollis." Her words dripped with desire and the blonde found it even harder to breathe in the harsh winter air.

Laura cleared her throat to compose herself. "I'm not righteous."

Carmilla lifted a brow before smirking. "Would you prefer noble or pure?" She took a step closer. "Or how about chaste?" 

"I'm not as innocent as you think!"

"By all means, prove me wrong, cupcake."

"How?!"

Carmilla looked around. They were standing next to the Christmas Manger that Silas sets up every year. She turned back to look at the blonde with a mischievous stare. "Take the baby."

Laura's brows furrowed. "What?"

The brunette nodded toward the manger. "Steal the baby Jesus," she said nonchalantly.

"I can't do that!" Laura started to yell, but quickly looked around to see if anyone was near them. "That's so wrong!" she hissed.

Carmilla rolled her eyes. "You know what's wrong? Having Jesus in the manger when it isn't even Christmas Day yet." She pointed toward the manger without breaking eye contact. "This baby hasn't technically been born yet!"

"And that bothers you?" Laura asked as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"It just seems stupid! If you're gonna do it, don't half-ass it!"

"I didn't know you were religious..."

Carmilla laughed at that harder than Laura expected. "I'm not. That's not the point! The point is that this baby doesn't even wanna be in this manger anyway."

"And why not?"

The brunette was taking another sip from her flask. "His birthday presents consisted of gold, Frankenstein, and manure! What's a baby gonna do with any of that?!"

"Uh, I've been to church like five times in my life, but I'm pretty sure that's not right-"

"Save Jesus, cupcake," Carmilla encouraged confidently. The wind blew past them and Laura could smell the liquor coming off of the brunette.

"How drunk are you?" 

Carmilla rolled her eyes before stepping into the Christmas scene and picking up the plastic baby.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Laura hissed at her, whipping her head around to see if anyone was watching. 

"Cursing is a sin," Carmilla commented lightheartedly.

"So is stealing the baby Jesus!"

"I'm saving a life here!"

"Not agreeing with what a kid gets for his birthday isn't reason enough to kidnap!"

"His mother cheated on her husband and gave birth to a bastard son!"

"He's the son of God!"

"And what did God get his son for his birthday?" she looked at Laura pointedly.

"I am not continuing this conversation. We're about to get smited- smote- smoted... Whatever the term is!"

Carmilla then stared at the manger for a moment, placing the baby on the ground before lifting up one of the sheep. Laura's eyes widened.

"Okay, this is definitely blasphemous!" The plastic sheep were having sex.

Carmilla bent down and picked up the baby Jesus before quickly grabbing Laura's gloved hand and running.

"Why are we running?!"

"We just stole a baby!"

"You stole a baby!"

"You didn't stop me!"

"I wasn't encouraging you!"

"Either way, Papa Hollis has the late shift tonight. Can't have Daddy finding out his daughter's a thief."

"I hate you."

The cafe was pretty empty aside from a customer or two. Laura was unpacking the rest of her clothes. Everything else was basically done. Will brought Livie over to her grandmother's after returning Kirsch to the police station with the truck. Less people in the apartment seemed like a more efficient approach.

Carmilla was looking through her phone's picture gallery as she stood, leaning onto the counter. She smiled to herself as she went from picture to picture. Most of them consisted of Livie. The rest were of Livie and Laura together. God, she was pathetic. She was a fool for those two girls. She knew it and she had accepted it.

The bell of the door rang, signaling a customer. When she looked up, her entire body tensed. She watched with wide eyes as the woman shyly walked closer.

"What the hell are you doing here?" the cafe owner growled, flaring her nostrils.

The platinum blonde cringed slightly before sending her a sad smile. "You never answered my emails."

"So you took that as a sign to come visit?!"

The two truckers sitting at a table watched in alarm. Carmilla saw them staring from the corner of her eye. She turned to them roughly. "What are you looking at?! Get out of here!" she demanded, pointing toward the exit.

"Wh-What about the bill?" one of them asked hesitantly as they both jumped to their feet.

"Merry fucking Christmas! Get the fuck out!" They raced out of the door.

"Carmilla-" the woman started.

"What are you doing here, Ell?" she asked again. Her hands gripped the edge of the counter fiercely.

"I needed to talk to you," she answered calmly.

"Well isn't that precious?"

"Carmilla, please try to calm down-"

"Calm down?! Don't tell me to calm down!"

Suddenly, Perry appeared from the kitchen door. "Hey, what's going-" Her eyes widened.

"Perry," Carmilla warned through gritted teeth without turning around. Her eyes were shut tightly, brows furrowed.

"JP and I will be going on break," she said hurriedly, backing up through the kitchen door.

With Carmilla's eyes still shut, she took a deep breath.

"So I guess you're still angry..."

The brunette's eyes shot open, sending a heated glare toward Ell. "I want you to leave."

"Carmilla, let me apologize," she urged weakly.

"No thanks," she answered bitterly.

"It's been seven years! I'm not the same person anymore. I just want to give us some closure. You obviously need it," she said softly without a hint of malice. 

"Don't tell me what I need," she replied through gritted teeth.

"Carm?" a voice came hesitantly from the back of the cafe. Carmilla's eyes widened before turning to see Laura approaching them slowly. The soldier was cautious.

"Laura..." the brunette breathed out.

"So this is her?" Ell's voice broke through Carmilla's state of shock. The cafe owner turned back to stare at her ex wife. She was smiling fondly at Laura. The woman then stepped forward, holding her hand out to the soldier. "It's nice to meet you, Laura. I used to hear a lot about you," she greeted warmly.

Laura searched blue eyes in confusion before hesitantly reaching out and shaking her hand. "Um, hi."

"I'm-"

"Leaving," Carmilla interrupted sharply.

Ell turned back to the brunette with a sigh. "I'm sorry, Carmilla. I know you don't want to hear it, but I'm sorry."

"You're right. I don't want to hear it. Leave."

Laura's eyes moved between the two women in front of her before understanding. "Ell..."

The blue eyed woman smiled sadly at the soldier before Carmilla brought her attention back to her. "I need you to leave before my daughter gets back. I don't need you fucking up my life again."

"I'm dying, Carmilla."

"Surprise, surprise. You're always dying!"

"Carm!" Laura exclaimed at her behavior.

"I stopped getting treatment. It could be any day now."

"Then you might want to get a move on. Time's tickin'!"

"Carmilla!" the soldier chastised again.

Ell nodded slowly, her gaze locked on the counter. Then, she locked eyes with Carmilla. Her blue eyes were filled with tears. "I'm truly, truly, sorry."

Dark eyes pierced back at her. "It's time for you to go. I'm sure you remember how to leave. You were good at that."

Ell flinched slightly before taking a step back, giving a single nod, and then walking out of the cafe without another word.

Carmilla bowed down over the counter, her heart pounding in her chest. Laura stepped behind the counter. "Was that really necessary?" she asked softly.

"Don't."

"She didn't want anything but to apologize."

Carmilla peeked up at her with flared nostrils. "Don't try to lecture me about something you know nothing about!" she spat back at her.

"I know what it's like to lose people, Carmilla!"

The brunette stood up straight. "I didn't lose her, Laura. She left!" She brushed past the soldier and started walking back toward the apartment.

"It's the same thing!" the blonde chased after her, but jolted to a stop when the cafe owner spun around roughly.

"No, it's not! The soldiers you saw die aren't gonna come walking through that door! Your mother isn't gonna come walking through that door!" she pointed harshly at the entrance of the cafe.

Laura's eyes closed firmly. Images raced through her mind. She breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth. She then opened her eyes to look at her girlfriend, who was also holding her eyes closed. Regret had filled the brunette's chest once those words left her mouth.

"I'm sorry," Carmilla said softly before revealing vulnerable eyes. "I didn't mean to say that."

The soldier took another deep breath. "Yes, you did," she replied gently. "Maybe you didn't mean to say it like that, but you meant it." The blonde shook her head. "Maybe I don't understand," she shrugged her shoulders. "I mean, I'm a leaver," she admitted sadly. "I don't know how that feels."

Carmilla broke eye contact to stare down at the floor. Laura stepped closer to her; her hand reaching out and grabbing Carmilla's.

The brunette then looked up at her with watery eyes. "She left Livie, Laura," she practically whispered. "How do I forgive her for that?"

The soldier's brows furrowed as she tightened her grip on her girlfriend's hand. Her mind thought of the little girl that had come to mean so much to her in the past year. Ell left right before Livie was born, but Carmilla was right. Ell still left Livie. And the idea of anyone ever choosing a life without that little girl was incomprehensible. The girl that lived off sugary treats. The girl that loved anything and everything to do with cats. The girl whose eyes shined more often than not in wonder. Box Girl.

"I don't know," Laura answered softly. She then stepped into Carmilla's space and wrapped her arms around her back; holding her tightly. The brunette instantly held her back; burying her face into the crook of the soldier's neck. 

They stood there for some time until Will brought Livie back to the cafe. Livie, who noticed the two women hugging, grinned and ran to join in. They chuckled at the little girl, welcoming her into the embrace.

"Um, why's the cafe so dead?" Will asked hesitantly. Laura gave him a warning look and slightly shook her head, while Carmilla knelt down and pulled her daughter into a separate hug; kissing her head as she slammed her eyes shut and clung to the little girl.

"Okayyyy..." Will answered in confusion.

"You staying for dinner?" Laura asked, changing subjects quickly. "My dad should be here any minute." The door then jingled opened, revealing the sheriff himself. "Speak of the devil."

"Hey, everybody!" Jim Hollis announced with a grin. "All moved in? Sorry I couldn't help. My shift was hectic this morning."

Carmilla let go of her daughter and stood back up. Livie turned toward the man and started running. "Jimbo!"

He bent down and opened his arms, pulling the little girl into a hug. "Livbug!" He pulled back to look at her. "Did you get taller?"

The little girl gigged. "I just saw you the other day!"

"You're like a beanstalk, kid! Slow down! You're makin' me feel old," he then ruffled her bangs before they both made their way toward the couple. He kissed his daughter on the cheek and then pulled Carmilla in for a hug.

"How's it goin', kid?" he asked the brunette.

"Could be better, Mr. Hollis," she forced a small smile.

"Carmilla," he said with a hard stare. "I've been telling you for years now... Jim. My name is Jim. You were actually starting to use my name for a bit until this one showed back up," he gestured toward his daughter. 

The cafe owner gave him a shy smile. "Sorry, sir. Dating your daughter has scared me backwards."

He started laughing. "If you ended up hurting my daughter, it's her you should be afraid of. Not me." Laura rolled her eyes. Jim then turned and held his hand out to the other man in the room.

"Will, always a pleasure." Will smiled and shook his hand.

"So are you joining us for dinner?" Laura asked the Karnstein male again.

"I'm gonna have to pass. Thanks though. I've got a hot date," he gave the blonde a wink.

Carmilla's eyebrows rose in curiosity. "A date? I'm surprised you kept it secret until now. You're usually bragging about this kind of thing."

"Well I just got the date," he grinned, his chest puffed with pride.

"At the grocery store!" Livie cheered. "She's really pretty."

Carmilla frowned and then glared at her brother. "Tell me you did not use my daughter as chick bait."

He then began to creep toward the exit. "I... did not... not... use your daughter as chick bait." He gripped onto the door handle and pulled it open. "Gotta go! Bye!" he yelled eagerly before running down the sidewalk.

"Smart man," the sheriff commented.

Carmilla and Laura looked at him incredulously. "Dad!"

"What? I meant he was smart because he ran." He then looked down at Livie. "Let's go see what's for dinner!" The little girl nodded in excitement before taking his hand and dragging him toward the apartment.

Carmilla rubbed her temple before Laura stepped in front of her and reached out to hold her hands.

The brunette sighed and then forced herself to lock eyes with the soldier. "I replied to Ell with an email the week you went away for that conference."

Laura's brows furrowed. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I wanted to ignore it. And if I told you, you would have made me think about it and probably push for me to contact her again."

The blonde squeezed her hands. "Carm, I'd never force you to do anything you didn't want to. You can tell me 'no', ya know."

"But I didn't want to disappoint you."

Laura shook her head in confusion. "How would you have disappointed me?"

Carmilla hesitated. "She wanted to meet with me. I wasn't ready. I wasn't sure if I'd ever be. I don't know if I have that kind of strength in me. I don't know if I ever want to forgive her."

"Why would any of that disappoint me?"

Dark eyes stared vulnerably back at the soldier. She gave Laura a small, sad smile. "You're so good," she admitted softly. "I've made a lot of decisions in the past that you didn't approve of. I'm no saint."

"Carm," Laura began in disbelief. She brought her hands up and held her girlfriend's face. She stared back and forth between dark eyes. "I'm not a saint either. I've made some decisions that I know aren't right. Some I regret. Some I don't. I don't want you to feel like you can't talk to me. I'll never judge you like that. If I push, it's because I'm trying to help you make sure of what you want." She shrugged lightly with a sad smile. "I just want you to be happy."

"What if I'm happy never seeing her again?"

Laura paused before smoothing out Carmilla's bangs with one hand; cupping her face again after. "It doesn't mean you're bad. It means you're human." Laura then giggled. "Anyone that's seen you with Livie couldn't possibly think you're anything but good."

Carmilla's brows furrowed. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

The blonde smiled, her thumb rubbing against the cafe owner's cheek. "It's okay." They searched each other's eyes before Laura spoke again. "Now kiss me."

Carmilla chuckled, leaning in and capturing her lips. Laura then pulled away, but grabbed one of her girlfriend's hands. She started pulling her toward the apartment. "Come on, Croc Lady. Let's go eat some dinner."

The brunette gasped. "Laura! Livie and your father are upstairs!" 

Laura turned to look at her in confusion before she recognized that lecherous look in her eyes. "Stop being gross!" she yelled before yanking her in the direction of their shared apartment.

"What about later?"

"Fine!"