With all my heart

The news comes like an unwanted surprise. Well. Perhaps not entirely unwanted, but with bad timing.

Her supervisor Anya Drake made the offer, most definitely as one of the many tests she has put Lexa through throughout the years. Maybe she expected Lexa to turn her down on the spot. Or maybe the opposite. The look on her face when Lexa told her that she needed some time to decide was one Lexa hadn't seen before. If it was one of her tests, Lexa might just have ducked it. Big time. Or simply put off the deciding for now. Nonetheless, Anya was taken aback by her response.

She should have seen it coming, really. It's been months since the last time she was ‘tested’, since Anya threw her one of her many curveballs and made her put work before everything else. Before Clarke. Taking on the job meant accepting what her parents built up during their many and long years and ultimately getting the experience she would need to take over Heda Industries. Once upon a time taking over her parents company, accepting her legacy was all Lexa thought she wanted.

Of course that was before she met Clarke.

Lexa comes home that afternoon with a tightness to her stomach. The apartment smells of herbs and red wine. She finds the blonde in the kitchen, humming on a melody Lexa recognizes but can't place, dancing as she makes her way from the counter over to the stove. Lexa stops in the doorway, stunned by the simplicity of their life and the overwhelming feeling of home. The tightness quickly fades, but in its place, a stinging pain remains. A sigh escapes her lips and it's loud enough to wake the blonde from her own little bubble.

Blue eyes jerk up to meet Lexa's green ones and her mouth forms a weak smile.

"Have you been standing there long?", Clarke asks as she puts down the knife on the chopping board.

Lexa shrugs her shoulders.

The warmth that spreads through her body when Clarke's cheeks flush red strengthens that smile still lingering on her lips.

"I thought you'd be at the gallery".

"I finished early", Clarke replies as she turns back around to the stove. "So I need something new to sketch. What do you say, my muse? I can draw you like one of my French girls".

Lexa scoffs as her lips pull up into a smirk. "Immortalizing me on a canvas? I thought the last time taught you that that's not a good idea", Lexa answers and the memory makes both of their eyes flash dark with lust for a moment. With all right. That night was certainly one to remember.

"I promise to keep my hands to myself this time", Clarke says and Lexa´s eyebrow hitches in disbelief. She knows better than to believe in such a promise. More so, she knows better than make one herself.

"I don't", she murmurs in response. Clarke chuckles as she stirs in the pan. Lexa feels the effects of that laughter as vibrations moving through her abdomen. Her face falls though, rather quickly as her mind drifts back to the reason behind the ache in her stomach and what´s to come. Or rather, that she doesn't know what to anticipate.

When the blonde looks up from the stove, blue eyes shaded by the memory of wandering hands and trembling lips, a frown forms on her face.

"What are you thinking of?".

"Nothing", Lexa answers as she shakes her head in an attempt to get herself out of her own head.

She leaves her spot at the door and makes her way over to the kitchen table, pulls out a chair and slides down onto it. It's true - she's not thinking of anything. Her head is filled with one big void, the normal consequence of finishing another 60 hours work week. She knows she has to tell Clarke, rather sooner than later, about the offer and all that comes with it. All of what she could gain from taking it. About the time they would have to be apart.

Lexa shakes her head once again and afterwards her shoulders fall a little, almost as if every ounce of air has been drawn out of her lungs. It´s stupid, she knows this, but the fear never leaves her side. The fear of pushing too hard for the wrong thing, for what will break the only right thing in her life. The fear of becoming yet another example of that relationships and ambition don't blend well together.

"Lexa", comes Clarke´s reply, voice warning, but Lexa´s name still rolls off her tongue like the prayer Lexa remembers it always has been. The blonde comes to sit down on the other chair, but first, she pulls it closer, close enough for their thighs to touch. "Spit it out".

Lexa exhales and lets her eyes close as she breathes in again, but opens them as she answers, "I got a job offer".

There are no reasons to keep it in, not when Clarke has already picked up all the signs and clearly put them together. Clarke´s still for a second, then her hands reach out to grab onto Lexa´s. Joy written all over her face, eyes bright with pure happiness.

"That's amazing!".

Lexa nods absently. "Yeah, it is".

"Then why do you look so… miserable?", Clarke asks with laughter filling up the words even though her blue eyes tell Lexa that she already understands, understands but doesn't know.

So Lexa tells her. All of it.

They spend the rest of the night not talking. At least not with spoken words. Clarke paints 'I love you' with red over Lexa's stomach, 'go' with blue on both of her wrists and 'you are mine, I am yours" along Lexa's side. Lexa's breath is shaky as she finally breaks the silence by whispering Clarke's name, over and over again until neither of them has any energy left to keep their eyes open.

//

Clarke stops with a heavy exhale and Lexa´s eyes drop to the floor. They might have known that this day would come, even counted down to it, but standing here is a lot different than just thinking of it. Lexa takes a deep breath and lifts her gaze back up to meet Clarke´s blue eyes. The beating heart in her chest picks up its pace for that split second of the moment when their eyes meet. Clarke´s lips pull up into a gentle smile, almost as if she knows what just made the hair on the back of Lexa´s neck stand. She then lets her eyes fall from Lexa´s as she reaches down into her bag and pulls out a package.

"Here".

Lexa´s eyebrows hitch in surprise as Clarke hands her the package. "What is this?", she asks and Clarke shrugs her shoulders, lips pulling up once again in a gentle smile.

"You. Me. Us", she says and Lexa´s lips imitate the blonde's as she turns the package in her hands. "You'll see. No no-". Clarke quickly reaches out and places her hand on Lexa´s trying to rip open the wrapping paper. Lexa pouts and Clarke shakes her head slightly, but takes a step closer instead and reaches up with her free hand to pull back a strand of hair that had fallen over Lexa´s face. As she fastens it behind Lexa´s ear she says, "you're not allowed to open it until you're at the hotel".

"Clarke Griffin", Lexa protests and the blonde's eyes are warm and buzzing when they meet hers.

"Alexandria Eleanor Woods". Lexa huffs at her middle name. It's one of the only things her father gave her - a name passed down through generations. And also one of the only things that doesn't bother her as much anymore.

She mumbles silently that Clarke's beautiful, and incredibly silly.

Clarke only nods and then takes a step closer, takes the package out of Lexa´s hand, reaches for her handbag and lets the package slide in before placing her hands back into Lexa´s. Now without something between them. "You are too", the blonde tells her followed by a light and soft kiss. It only lasts for that second and then they are standing, leaning against each other, forehead to forehead, breathing in each other's breaths. Lexa hopes that the gods will give them another few minutes, for this moment to last and hopefully fill them with enough strength to last the distance. "And I'm going to miss you", the other girl whispers ever so quietly and Lexa hums in response when Clarke tilts her head to the side, blue eyes looking into her green ones.

"I am going to miss you, too", she tells her and connects their lips again. The kiss last longer is filled with more of those unsaid words and supposed emotions. We can do this, she has to remind herself as she reaches up to cup the blonde one's neck. We can do this. When they pull away another hum rolls off her tongue and she scoffs. "A lot".

Clarke's lips pull up into an understanding smile and she leans in again, but this time they are interrupted by the speakers.

"Last call for the flight to Houston, Texas. Last call for the flight to Houston, Texas, at gate 13".

Lexa sighs and leans back, her eyes scan through the crowd - the line through security is practically non-existent. Still, her gate is far from close so she'll have to hurry to get there on time. But. She can't get herself to leave the blonde's embrace and the other girl seem to be just as eager to let her go.

"You are going to make me miss my flight", Lexa says after checking her watch.

"I don't see you doing anything about it", the blonde responds and tugs at Lexa's jacket, pulling her closer and eliminating the space between them. Those blue eyes are filled with love and aching sadness, but they don't linger on Lexa's gaze and Lexa won't force them to meet her. She feels just as torn. "See you soon, okay?", Clarke asks and Lexa's lips form a pout before smoothing out. Her hand travels down to the blonde's chin and eases her head up, eyes still not meeting hers, her thumb stroking gently circuses against Clarke's jaw.

"See you soon".

Clarke's lips are trembling when Lexa presses one last kiss to them, but tears are nowhere to be seen in those blue wonders. When she turns away to get her bag and jacket, she can feel the lump in her throat and the way it makes her muscles tense up. She goes through Security without looking back, even though her instinct tells her that she wants, no needs, to see those blue eyes one more time.

They have never been good at goodbyes.

We can do this, Lexa tells herself as she picks up her phone from the tray and slides it into her pocket again. Clarke's standing on the other side of the glass wall, arms crossed uneasy over her chest, eyes slightly darker than Lexa would want them to be. She offers the blonde one last smile before turning around the corner and disappearing out of her view.

We can do this.

//

The flight is long and excruciating. Lexa might be a patient soul, but spending six hours listening to a shrieking baby can break even her patience. She arrives at Seattle- Tacoma International Airport with a banging headache. She sends a text to Clarke to let her know that the flight went fine. Lexa can see the look on Clarke´s face as if the blonde stood right in front of her, how she holds back laughter at the sight of the word fine. It would be more accurate to say that everyone on the flight arrived in one piece and alive.

Outside a black car is parked with the driver leaning against the hood, in his hands he holds a small sign with Woods written on it with big green letters. He´s quiet but drives with the radio on, he even turns the volume up when she unintentionally mumbles along to an old U2 song she doesn't even know the name of but has had to listen to for years thanks to Lincoln and his poor taste in music. At least she'll always stand by the fact that it is a poor taste in music, even though U2 especially has grown on her. The driver takes her straight to headquarters where a very large man introduces himself as Gustus meets her, he wastes no time greeting her with a big welcome or tour around the place, instead he escorts her to the conference room where he claims she will be brought up to speed.

Speed is however one thing the department is lacking.

Lexa walks out of the building three hours later, the tension in her shoulders from the headache, with a sense of sleep deprivation, tensing up her muscles and high on too much caffeine. Even though she doesn't think it, at least not hard enough to notice it, the thought of coming back the next day makes her chest tighten.

Anya set Lexa up with a one-bedroom apartment, owned by Heda Industries, five minutes away. The walk there is windy and with the hint of rain in the air. As Lexa pushes the door open, one hand holding her bag, walking in the back first as she sends a very short and direct email to Anya letting her know that she's setting up tomorrow. She doesn't mention the inefficiency she just witnessed, knowing that she would have to spend the rest of the evening and probably the whole night on the phone with her going through the necessary changes. Changes she's already scribbled down in her notebook on the way out of the conference room.

The apartment is clean and elegant. Although Lexa catches the vague smell of fresh paint in the air, which confirms her speculation that this is one of the many buildings Heda Industries has bought and renovated in the last three months. A very rushed renovation, she thinks for herself as she locks up before heading towards the bedroom. The room is empty apart from a bed, dresser, nightstand and desk. All in white. Naked. Cold. Tolerable, she decides and sighs tiredly. She throws the bag on top of the bed before following it herself as she lands with her back on it with a slow exhale. It´s too late to call Clarke, even though the only thing she wants right now is to hear her voice.

Ten minutes pass with her just laying there with her eyes closed, hands clasped over her stomach as she tries to breathe the headache away. It doesn´t work. So with a groan she sits up and drags the bag into her lap, she zips it open and empties it next to her. After unpacking, she leaves the bag in the back of the wardrobe. The only thing left to do is to check her schedule for tomorrow, because that was the one thing Gustus didn't mention, meaning that it hasn't changed since she got it yesterday. She walks back out to the hall and grabs her handbag, only it's heavier than expected and when she reaches down into it her hand bumps against something bigger than her calendar, something she doesn't quite recognize. As she pulls it out she realizes what it is - the package. Clarke´s package. Lexa turns it over in her hands, legs moving almost automatically towards the small kitchen table, she places the bag on the table before sliding down into one of the two chairs. She remembers what Clarke told her, to wait until she was at the hotel, and well even though she technically wasn't staying at a hotel… Lexa rips up the wrapping in two smooth motions, her eyes widen in surprise when she's sitting there with a stack of letters.

She reads through the envelopes, they are all marked by a number. There are 40 letters in total. The first one is marked simply with Letter 1.

"Clarke", Lexa breathes the name with a tender smile on her lips, tears forming in her eyes at the sight of the neat handwriting. Before the first tear breaks through her guard she opens the letter with careful hands.

-----

Hi babe.
I hope you like your little gift. I guess I got some explaining to do. You know how I have always said that I am a romantic, but I have never really shown it? Well, I decided it was time to change that. So when you told me about this project and that you would have to move to Seattle, I got this idea. Yes, I told your brother and you should have seen the look on his face. I think he is still jealous over the fact that he did not come up with it himself, and he is supposed to be the biggest romantic of them all. Anyway, I wanted to give you something. So here you have 40 letters, one for each day we will be apart. You are not allowed to read ahead, so keep those gorgeous hands to yourself after you have read the letter of the day. Understood? Great! Well now, I have numbered each letter so you cannot mix them up and since this is the first letter I would like to bring you back to the beginning. Do not roll your eyes, Lexa, I know for a fact that you know exactly what I am thinking of...

//

“Babe are you ready?”.

Lexa peaks out of the bedroom, fingers busy buttoning the last button of her shirt. Costia´s sitting on the bed with an old Elle magazine open in her lap, her hand comes up in that familiar motion to tuck a loose strand of hair back behind her ear. Lexa´s heart swells at the sight, at the perfection of this insignificant moment. She steps into the room and attracts Costia´s hazel brown gaze.

“How long have you been standing there”, she laughs and Lexa shrugs her shoulders. Costia eyes her up and down before placing the magazine beside her on the bedcovers. “You look gorgeous”.

“Thank you”. Cheeks blushing ever so slightly at the compliment Lexa takes another step forward, hands reaching down into her back pockets. Costia stands and runs her hands down her dress to smoothen out the fabric, she looks stunning in that ruby red colour, her hair has been straightened and around her neck hangs that heart locket in gold that Lexa gave her for her birthday. She's a vision of beauty. “You do too”.

Her smile is teasing and soft, but her eyes piercing with something warmer and deeper. It's always end been like that like Costia looks at the world through eyes that have seen more than they let on like she's an old soul with a depth to her mind that Lexa will never reach. That was one of the things that intrigued Lexa in the first place.

“So you're ready?”, the other girl asks once again.

Lexa grunts and shakes her head. “I still don't get why we're doing this”.

A bubbling laughter rolls off of Costia´s tongue, causing shivers to run down Lexa´s arms and through her fingers. Another step and Costia´s standing close, hands running up Lexa´s bare arms, connecting behind Lexa´s neck. Lexa´s eyes flicker down to those, still smiling, lips and Costia licks them at the sight. “We're doing this because you need to socialize. Meet people. Get some friends or something”.

“I have you”, Lexa whispers and once again Costia laughs, putting an even bigger smile on Lexa´s face.

“Lexa, I'm leaving in two days”. Lexa scrunches up her face. “You'll thank me later”, Costia tells her and brushes her lips against Lexa´s.

“You´re the worst”, Lexa replies, lips brushing lightly against the other girl´s. Her lips taste ever so slightly of cinnamon and Lexa hums into the kiss Costia pulls her into. It's soft and gentle, far from as deep as Lexa wants it to be but just as promising as that look in Costia´s eyes. “Well let's go then before I change my mind”, she murmurs and steps back.

Costia nods with a grin on her face, reaching out to lace their fingers together.

--

The bar is packed beyond overcrowded. Probably exactly what to expect during frosh week. Still, it seems like the whole class has found its way to this particular bar at the east end of campus. Lexa can't for the life of her understand why someone would name a bar The A.R.K, but it's in that the one she finds herself in. Costia smiles triumphantly at her side, overjoyed that she managed to drag Lexa out of her small one-room apartment in which they've been hiding out for the week. It might have been introduction week, but Lexa has never been much for introductions unless they are necessary and she found nothing of this week’s agenda necessary. Which of course is the reason why Costia insisted on staying a few extra days, making sure that Lexa attended every single event during the week, unwavering, even though Lexa rolled her eyes and scoffed, she even tried to bribe Costia with soft kisses and sweet words but without success.

It's all thanks to the girl with hazel brown eyes and a mesmerizing smile that Lexa finds herself in the middle of it all. She reluctantly let's go off Costia’s hand to go buy something for them to drink, settled on not subjecting herself to all this fuss sober.

She forces her way through the bodies shoulder first, pushing and pulling until she can place both hands steadily on the bar counter. When she turns her head back around to try and lay eyes on Costia, she finds her girlfriend already enamoured in a conversation with a redheaded girl. Lexa´s lips quirk into a smile at the sight, she should have guessed that Costia would find someone to pour all her enthusiasm over within the first minutes of them arriving at the scene. Still, the smile has more to do with the joy she feels running through her body at the sight of the beautiful woman she has the absolute honour to call her girlfriend.

“What can I get you, honey?”.

Lexa whips her head back and lays eyes on a man with a stubble beard and long black hair. His eyes are kind when they meet hers and she smiles politely as she leans in over the counter.

“A beer and a whisky sour”, she shouts over the music and the guy nods back at her.

“Coming right up”.

Stepping back on her heels she knocks into the person to her right and immediately tries and angle her body out of their way.

“Excuse me”, she lets out and looks up at a guy with big eyes, dark frizzy hair and irritation written all over his face.

“Yes excuse you, you're practically standing on me”.

Lexa scoffs and wets her lips before replying, “I believe I was already standing here when you decided to invade my personal space”.

“If you say so”, comes the answer from the irritating young man. She gives him a last look, he appears to be in her age or perhaps a few years younger, the tension seems to be anchored in those dark eyes of his and he grips tightly to the counter. Once again Lexa asks herself why she agreed to this when Costia and she could have spent the night drinking in bed and ruining their commentary of the next season of Friends. And just like the times before she's reminded of the reason why - that girl could make her do practically anything.

The bartender returns and slides a bottle of beer and glass over the counter. “Here you go”, he says and Lexa puts the glass to her lips and takes a sip. She hums as the taste of citrus fills her mouth.

Perfect, she thinks to herself and slips her other hand in her back pocket for her wallet. There are just a few things in life that can drive her girlfriend completely mad, one of them being a poorly mixed whiskey sour.

The bartender just have caught the satisfied look on her face, because he smiles much more distinctly when she reaches over the counter to hand him the money.

“Keep the change. Crap!”.

She jumps out of the way but it's far too late and soon enough she feels the wetness spreading down her leg. She puts the glass back on the counter alongside the now half-empty bottle of beer, all while the guy next to her huffs and puffs like his life depended on it.

“Are you for real?!”, he yells and runs his hands over his t-shirt in an attempt to dry it. “Are you blind or something?!”. Lexa shakes her head and reaches back down her pocket, ready to order a new beer and get something to wipe her hands on, only to feel herself being pushed up against the counter. Her jaw locks and she fixes her eyes on the young man’s whose face is much closer than before and increasingly so too.

“Get out of my face”, she warns as she pulls out her hand out of her pocket, both hands turning automatically into fists at the sudden change of tension in the air.

The guy steps closer, his face now only inches from hers and hisses, “or what”.

Lexa thinks about it for a second, whether or not it would be worth it to break her hand on this loser's face, or if she should just knock the air out of him and get it over and done with. She hasn't been in a good fight for a while, although this guy seems to be far too drunk to put on much of one. She could just call over the bartender and get out of the situation that way. But. She really just want to shut this idiot up. She doesn't have time to decide though, because out of nowhere Lexa watches as someone lays a hand on the guy's shoulder and then steps into her periphery.

The girl has blonde hair. That is all Lexa can make out because her whole world has borrowed to the brown eyes filled with rage.

“Hey you, what's going on?”.

“This bitch soaked me!”.

“If I'd wanted to waste my drink on you I would have aimed for your face”, Lexa’s quick to answer and the next moment the guys have her pushed almost completely up on the counter with his hands on her upper arms.

“Are you kidding me?!”, he yells in her face and she steels herself, she's taken more than a few hits before and even though she knows it's better to relax she never remembers in the heat of the moment.

“Finn, take it easy-”, the blonde tries and as she does Lexa takes the opportunity and pushes back, shoving the guy off of her and positioning herself with some leverage against the counter. Hands ready to guard her face if she'd have to.

“Fuck you!”, the guy replies and Lexa can't help but laugh at his words.

“You´re not my type”.

In the sudden humour of it all Lexa relaxes and her view changes, it's no longer centred on the guy in front of her and so she takes in what's around them once again. The blonde's eyes find Lexa's and it's the first time Lexa notices that they are blue and deep as oceans, and just as difficult to look away from. So she doesn't. But after another couple of seconds, the blonde breaks eye contact. The blonde's gaze travels back quickly to where it was focused on the guy's tense jaw. But as the girl’s hand grips more tightly over his shoulder, forcing him to turn ever so slightly towards her and away from Lexa, a mesmerizing smile finds its way to the blonde's lips and fills them up. “What, is your type stone-cold and clumsy like you?”, she asks and Lexa is taken aback by the question.

“Only on Mondays”, Costia voice comes as an answer and Lexa draws for a new breath. Costia's hand slips into hers, Lexa's now relaxed and open. Costa has that effect on her body even though her mind takes another few seconds to catch up. The other one of Costia’s hands strokes up and down the small of Lexa's back before pressing comforting against the spot just above the waistband of Lexa's pants. “You alright, babe?”.

“Yeah, I´m fine”.

Lexa laces their fingers together, breathes out the remains of the rage when Costia strokes her thumb over Lexa's, but not without keeping her eyes on the girl with the unfortunate choice of date. The blonde watches them quietly for a moment, hand working at the guy's shoulder until she can turn him fully towards herself.

“Come on, Finn, let´s clean you up”, she lets out and Lexa catches the relief flashing over her blue eyes. They observe them as they push their way through the crowd and not until Lexa no longer can make out their heads among the rest does she turn around. Costia's eyes attract Lexa's and when they connect a wave of warmth runs through Lexa's muscles.

In the corner of her eye she sees the bartender leaned over the counter, in front of him there's another round of drinks. Lexa looks at him in surprise and he shrugs his shoulders.

“I like my girls stone-cold and clumsy too”, he explains and winks at Costia before pushing the drinks towards them.

Costia laughs and folds her arms around Lexa’s neck. “Having fun yet?”, she asks.

“Almost deadly”, Lexa replies with a roll of her eyes.

“I believe you”.

She takes a big sip of her beer and watches as Costa tastes her whiskey sour and then hums approvingly to the taste. A small and gentle smile fills up Lexa's mouth. When Costia's arms have returned to her neck Lexa clasps her hands behind her girlfriend’s back, thinking that nothing compares to this - to the ultimate feeling of safety.

--

The lock opens with a clicking sound as the key is turned. Lexa steps in and immediately pulls off her coat, kicking off her shoes as she makes her way further into the apartment. She turns halfway in to walk backwards until she stumbles against the bed and lets herself fall onto it. Costia´s following in her steps, tidying up as she goes, careful to place both of their pair of shoes beside the hanger stand, but stops with her right hand still on the handle after she's closed the door.

Lexa lets her eyes follow the length of Costia´s body up and down, with a few drinks in her system her heart drums happily in her chest.

“You had fun. Just admit it”, Costia teases and steps back to lean against the door.

Without thinking Lexa scoffs. Yet not without keeping her eyes on the other girl. Then she stands back up, her feet slightly rounded but far from unsteady, hands reaching down to the hem of her shirt. With slow fingers she unbuttons the last button, then the second last, the third, fourth and so on until she unbuttons the top button. Costia hitches her eyebrow at the show, but her bottom lip is caught between her teeth, eyes shaded darker with that same deepness Lexa so often catches herself fall into. With gentle movements Lexa drapes off the shirt as she takes one step after another towards Costia, eyes fixed at her girlfriend's, she bundles the shirt together in her hands before dropping it at her side. Costia´s eyes flicker down to the shirt for a split second but quickly return to Lexa´s and Lexa smirks ever so lightly before licking her lips.

“I'll show you fun”, Lexa replies as she leaps towards Costia and catches the yelping sound erupting from Costia´s throat with her lips as she presses them hard against her girlfriend´s.

//

... I had never met someone who could infuriate Finn that fast before. Not until I met you. Oh, you were something else, mostly stiff and just as fiery as he was, but whatever I may have thought in that very first moment of meeting you it changed as soon as I saw how your eyes lit up when you looked at her. Behind that stoic face, you hid a love big enough to fill the room. I did not understand what that moment would lead to, where it would take us. I am so happy about that moment. Because I met you under all the wrong circumstances and you left so much more to desire, so much more for me to long for, to know, to hold, to understand. You still make me long for more, and now I long for time, time spent with you.

I will always miss you when you are not in my arms.

With all my heart
your Clarke

-----

Her core aches with longing. Her heart beats fast and hard, on the verge of breaking out of her chest. She doesn't even realize it until her hand is clutching the phone. Pain shoots through her hand and she finally realizes how hard she's clutching to it. With much effort she forces her lungs to take a deep breath and in that split second when she's not inhaling or exhaling, nor holding her breath, the first signal goes through.

It takes up to five before Lexa hears the familiar sound of Clarke's breathing on the other end.

“Hey, you okay over there? It´s late”, the girl asks with a voice filled with sleep and Lexa laughs quietly, tears breaking through and quickly dancing down her cheeks. She listens to the quiet between them for a moment, listens and feels the change in her body, almost as if the quiet says all the things her body would if Clarke was here with her. But it's not enough, so she takes another breath and licks her lips.

“I love you”.