Awkward Encounters

It had been five days since Clarke and Lexa had been able to spend any time alone together. Five long days of brief, whispered conversations in crowded streets, longing glances across camp fires, and stolen kisses between meetings when the tents cleared out for a moment. They’d been so busy with everything going on that they hadn’t even managed to see each other at night and sleep at the same time.

Normally, the two leaders always made sure that they have time to themselves at the end of every day to relax together and sleep in the same bed, despite the fact that Clarke still technically has a tent of her own and they hadn’t officially had sex yet, it was a tradition they had settled into not long after they had decided to start dating and Lexa had learned that Clarke often suffers from nightmares of the mountain, Finn, her father, and her time in solitary on the Ark. The night after learning that information, Lexa had insisted that she be there to guard Clarke from the terrors of her mind and comfort her when she woke, even if it meant sleeping on Clarke’s floor or outside of her tent, if that was what Clarke was comfortable with. Clarke, feeling incredibly touched by the gesture, had laughed and shaken her head at Lexa’s over the top chivalry before pulling Lexa into the bed of furs with her for the night. And that was how they had slept almost every night for the past two months.

But now, their time apart had been building on each woman. Being prevented from enjoying the intimate act of sleeping in each other’s arms had caused a desire in the two that only continued to burn stronger with each hour spent apart. They needed each other. Each whispered talk in the street or through their rushed kissed had made it more and more apparent that it might finally be time, they might both finally be ready, to move their relationship to the next level. And so, when the leaders who had been visiting from a faraway clan finally left in the middle of the fifth day, Lexa found herself almost frantic in her search to find Clarke and get her alone.

Clarke was unaware that the leaders had left. They weren’t supposed to leave until the morning of the seventh day, so she was in the middle of eating a rushed lunch in order to get to the meeting she thought she still had with them in the healer’s tent, when she looked up in the middle of a large bite of cheese and bread to see Lexa stalking toward her from across the eating area. Clarke frowned, the Commander looked livid, even from a distance, and she was clearly headed on a direct path toward Clarke. Suppressing the shot of desire that rocked through her system at the sight of Lexa, Clarke focused on the look of anger. Frantically, she scanned through her memories over the past few hours trying to figure out if she forgot about a meeting or did something to insult one of the leaders enough to put this predatory expression on Lexa’s face. Coming up with nothing, Clarke put down her meal and stood slowly from the large common table to greet the girl only a few feet away – face set in a heavy frown of concern.

Lexa was on a mission. She had been searching for Clarke for over an hour when she was informed that one of her people had recently seen the blonde in the common eating area. Without a thought, Lexa turned and marched directly for the girl as if she were heading for war. When entering the street across from the group of tables the blonde leader’s head came into sight, adorably bent over her meal and shoving pieces of bread into her mouth, and Lexa’s need only seemed to grow stronger.

She stalked forward like Clarke was her prey, not caring who was around to see her. As if sensing her presence, Clarke looked up just as Lexa entered the far side of the open space. The girl looked confused when she noticed Lexa’s approach, even frowning slightly through her latest mouthful of food, and Lexa could clearly see the girl trying to understand why Lexa was heading for her when she was supposed to be entertaining foreign leaders. Lexa suddenly realized that no one had told Clarke they were finally free of the clan leaders and was thrilled at the prospect of telling Clarke personally.

When Lexa was only a few feet away from the table, Clarke stood to greet her with an expression of confusion plastered on her face and Lexa couldn’t help but suppress a dangerous smirk, all thoughts of conversation were immediately disregarded now that she had her love in sight. So, without stopping to explain, Lexa rounded the table and pulled Clarke into a passionate kiss.

Clarke barely had enough time to notice the smirk and feel a shiver of arousal shoot down her spine in response before Lexa was in front of her, kissing her, and the world melted away. For several long moments, the only thing in Clarke’s mind was the feeling of Lexa’s hands on her hips and in her hair, the press of Lexa’s body against her front, and the hot, wet pressure of Lexa’s lips on her own and as they trailed down her jaw and neck.

But, after who knows how long they spent kissing, Clarke pulled back slightly and placed her hands on Lexa’s shoulder and stomach to keep her from lunging back in for another kiss. She needed to get to the meeting she was definitely already late for. Sighing, she closed her eyes and whispered, “That was amazing, Lex, but I’ve got to go. I’m sure they’re waiting for me. And-”

“They’re not,” Lexa cut in. Seeing the look of confusion cross Clarke’s face, she rushed to explain further, “They left for their home village just over an hour ago. Word came that one of their children had broken an arm in training. We don’t have to deal with them anymore.”

There was a pause as Clarke processed the information. Then, when it had fully set in that her life could return to a somewhat normal state, a large, bright smile spread across her face and she leaned in to capture Lexa’s lips again. The hands that had been keeping the Commander back swiftly moved to curl around the back of Lexa’s neck and hips as the kiss became more and more heated. The world flew away once again.

An unknown amount of time later, as Lexa was once again trailing kissed down Clarke’s jaw, Clarke tried to shift in Lexa’s arms, only to find herself pressed firmly against the table’s edge. After a moment of confusion as to why she was pressed against a table, Clarke let out a gasp and her eyes popped open as she remembered where they were.

Lexa, thinking the gasp was a sign that she had found a particularly sensitive spot behind Clarke’s ear, moaned softly and continued to attack that spot in an attempt to get another response from Clarke. However, she was soon baffled to find herself being once again pushed away from the blonde and held back by a soft pressure on her stomach. She opened her eyes and immediately found the spot she had been sucking on Clarke’s neck to make sure she hadn’t accidently hurt her, letting out a soft sigh of relief when she only saw a soft red covering the skin there. Her eyes moved to Clarkes next, now more confused than ever. But Clarke’s eyes did not meet hers. Instead, they were flitting in all different directions behind Lexa with an expression that looked like worry and amusement. Frowning lightly, Lexa pulled a hand from its resting place on Clarke’s hip so that she could cup Clarke’s cheek and guide her gaze back to her own as she whispered, “What’s wrong, hodnes?”

Clarke’s attention snapped back to Lexa immediately when she heard Lexa’s soft words and felt the warm, surprisingly gently pressure on her cheek. Smiling softly to appease the worry she saw in Lexa’s face, she whispered back, “We’re in public.”

Understanding suddenly dawned on Lexa and she glanced around for a moment herself. Although they were alone at the moment, there is no telling who or how many people might have walked by earlier. It was not good for the people to see her being overly affectionate to anyone, even Clarke, and the two had decided long ago that they would keep public displays of affection at a minimum. Her earlier actions were acceptable because of the intensity of her desire in the moment, but Clarke was right, it was time to move this somewhere more private. Looking back into Clarke’s eyes, Lexa said in a husky tone, “Yes. In that case would you care to join me in my tent? I’m going to need a much more private space for all of the things I wish to do to you.”

Lexa watched as Clarke swallowed hard. Her pride soared at the flush of desire she saw appear on Clarke’s face, neck, and chest as the blonde’s eyes flickered back and forth from Lexa’s lips and eyes as she digested her words. It was clear that Clarke knew exactly what Lexa was proposing and wanted it too.

But, to Lexa’s complete bewilderment, when Clarke finally did manage to get her throat working enough to reply, she said, “Not tonight, Lexa. I think I’m going to go sleep in my own tent.”

Panicking, Lexa hurried to take a step back both figuratively and literally as she pulled away from Clarke and began to speak in a rush, “I apologize if I have been too forward, Clarke. I had thought that we were both ready and on the same page for that, but it appears I was wrong. I assure you, there is no pressure. I promised that I would wait as long as you required and I will keep that promise. It’s just the stress from the past few days. There is no need for you to sleep in your tent, I assure you I will not push the matter.”

Smiling, Clarke reached out to place a hand over Lexa’s lips to stop her words. “No, Lexa, it’s not that,” Clarke assured her, “I am ready. I promise, you weren’t out of line. You haven’t pressured me at all. You’ve been amazing, perfect.” Clarke paused to move her hand and lean forward to place a soft, short kiss on the Commander’s lips. “Just not tonight, okay? I need to go talk to Octavia and then I’m going to spend the night in my tent because I need to take care of something alone before we can, alright? It’s a Sky people thing, okay? It’s not you. You did nothing wrong. I promise.”

Lexa nodded slowly when Clarke stopped talking. She was convinced that Clarke was telling her the truth, but she couldn’t help but wonder and worry about what Clarke needed to do that would require help from Octavia and an entire night alone. Regardless, she did not voice her concerns. Instead, she asked, “Are you sure you don’t wish to stay with me tonight? We can still stay in your tent and I assure you I will not get in the way of whatever it is you need to do.”

Clarke laughed softly and it sent a warm pulse directly through Lexa’s heart. “Yes, Lex, I’m sure. It’s really something I need to do alone.” But, when she saw the sad look on Lexa’s face she continued by teasing, “You’re strong, you can survive one more night without me, can’t you? Tomorrow night we can be together, I promise.”

Grumbling, Lexa agreed and they shared a few more loving kisses before Clarke left her with a smile and a wave.

Clarke rushed to find Octavia. She had planned on moving to the next step with Lexa after the visiting leaders left, but now that they had left early she needed to see if Octavia could help her speed up her plan.

Lexa spent the rest of the day thoroughly unhappy. She was frustrated, high strung, worried about what Clarke was keeping from her, and really just wishing that she could be spending time with her love, doing anything, instead of being banished from her side for the day. But, because she knew that there would be no cure for her mood until the next day when she could be with Clarke, she went to the training grounds to work out some of her emotions instead.

She spent hours fighting warrior after warrior into the ground in an attempt to tire herself out enough she would be able to sleep another night without Clarke in her arms. But what Clarke had said kept eating at her. What Sky person tradition could possibly require Clarke to spend a night away from her before they became more intimate? Growling in her increased frustration, Lexa smashed the hilt of her sword over the head of her most recent sparring partner much harder than she had intended to and realized that she needed to stop before she really hurt someone or got hurt herself. After checking to make sure that her warrior would be alright, she set off dejectedly in the direction of her tent, prepared to spend a long night alone and confused.

But, on her way to her tent she came across Lincoln and inspiration struck her. If anyone would know about Sky people traditions for sex, it would be him. Silently, she cursed herself for not thinking about asking him before as she called out to him, “Lincoln, wait. I wish to ask you a question.”

Lincoln stopped immediately and a look of curiosity came across his face. “Sha, Heda?” he replied quickly.

Lexa moved so that they were standing closer together and asked him in a quieter voice, “I need to ask you about Sky people mating rituals.”

A look of understanding appeared in his eyes even as he chuckled softly. But, his laughter stopped immediately when he saw the murderous look on Lexa’s face. “I apologize, Heda, it is just that I know they hate the term ‘mating rituals’ and when you said it I remembered the way Octavia had looked at me the first time I brought them up by using that term.”

Lexa relaxed slightly and nodded her acceptance of his apology. “Very well. What do they call them, then?” she asked, not wanting to offend Clarke in the future by using the wrong term.

Lincoln cleared his throat, “Dating practices, Heda.”

Lexa nodded again. Clarke had already explained what dating was, the term made sense. But, that was not the information she needed from Lincoln. Leveling her gaze, she said, “Then I need to ask you a question about Sky people dating practices.”

That same look of understanding crossed through Lincoln’s eyes again and he nodded his consent as he asked, “What do you wish to know, Heda? I will do my best to answer.”

It was Lexa’s turn to clear her throat. She was not used to discussing her love life with any of her warriors, but this was a special situation. Moving past her discomfort, she said, “Clarke and I have decided to move forward in our relationship and start having sex, but when I tried to initiate it for tonight, she said that she needed to speak to Octavia and then spend the night alone to do something for the Sky people’s dating practices before we could be together, but she did not say what it was. Do you know?”

Lincoln looked vaguely uncomfortable as well and that comforted Lexa somewhat. He replied swiftly despite his obvious hesitation, “Sha, Heda. I was with Octavia when Clarke came up to her and I heard them discuss part of the conversation. I do not know exactly what the ritual is, Octavia did not bother with it when she and I became intimate, but from what I overheard of their conversation and what she briefly explained after Clarke left, I believe I can provide some insight.”

Lincoln paused until Lexa nodded for him to continue. “From what I understand of it, the ritual is less about the night before and more about something she needs for the actual first time. Earlier in the week, Clarke approached Octavia about finding some sort of blade tha-“

“A blade?” Lexa cut him off. Her blood ran cold. Why would Clarke need a blade for the first time they cemented their relationship by making love? She was suddenly glad she was wearing her full war paint because she was sure she had paled as well.

Lincoln rushed to explain, “Sha, from what I understand, Sky women often need a blade before being intimate with someone for the first time when they are worried about how their partner will receive them.”

“Clarke thinks she will need to defend herself against me?” Lexa gasped.

“No, Heda,” Lincoln assured, “From what Octavia said, it is used more for when a Sky woman is worried that her partner will not like something they see.”

“She thinks I will not find her attractive?” Lexa asked.

“I am not sure, but yes. I believe that is more or less the concern for this ritual.”

“How would the blade help in that situation?” Lexa was more confused than ever. She never thought she would have to worry about Clarke attacking her again.

“All Octavia would say was that the blade would make sure that didn’t happen,” Lincoln explained. “I am sorry that I am not more help, Heda.”

“No, you have been very helpful, Lincoln, thank you,” Lexa said. And then, almost as an afterthought she asked, “If the ritual is something for the actual first time, why did she insist on spending the night alone in her tent?”

Lincoln cleared his throat again, “As I mentioned, Heda, Clarke approached Octavia about the blade earlier in the week. Octavia was going to help her find one suitable by the time the clan leaders left, but when the leaders left early she hadn’t been able to find one yet. When Clarke approached Octavia earlier today she was frantic that they needed to find one tonight. It was my understanding that they were going to spend the night finding a blade and then discussing how to use it. I believe neither woman have used one since the Ark, so they needed practice.”

Lexa sighed and nodded before thanking Lincoln for his help, asking him to keep the conversation to himself, and dismissing him. Once he was gone, she nearly broke into tears. Clarke thought she would reject her appearance? Clarke was so insecure about Lexa’s reaction to her that she was going to participate in a Sky people tradition that required a blade during something that, in Lexa’s opinion, was only supposed to be loving and soft? The thought of it crushed her heart and Lexa barely managed to make it back to her tent before she collapsed in sadness. She spent the rest of the night preparing herself for what she would do if Clarke pulled the blade out on her the next day.

When morning came, Lexa was tired and her heart ached, but she had decided that she would be willing to do whatever it took to make Clarke feel safe and secure in their relationship. She was certain that she would do nothing to provoke Clarke into pulling out the blade anyway, so there was no use in worrying about it. So, instead of worrying further, Lexa spent the rest of the day killing time by getting caught up on all of the duties she had put on hold for the past few days. And, surprisingly quickly, Lexa was both excited and nervous to see that it was almost dinner time. About an hour later, after having prepared an elaborate dinner for them in her tent and sending word for Clarke to meet her there, Lexa found herself feel that desire spike in her system again in anticipation.

To say that Clarke looked nervous when she walked into the tent would be an understatement. She was twitchy, her hands were sweaty, and she was having a difficult time looking directly at Lexa when she greeted her. Lexa observed her carefully, but try as she might she could not detect anything that even hinted at the other woman carrying a blade or any other form of weapon. That observation in combination with Clarke’s obvious nervousness, allowed a spark of hope to bloom in Lexa’s chest. Maybe Clarke had decided against using the blade? She knows that she and Octavia had managed to find one, Lincoln had murmured it to her in passing earlier that day, so maybe Clarke was nervous because she had decided to come to Lexa without her Sky people protection ritual?

Deciding that the information really wouldn’t affect her actions for the night, seeing as how she’d already decided to treat the night normally and hope for the best, Lexa filed the thought away and stood to greet her love with a passionate kiss. After a moment, Clarke’s nervousness seemed to melt away as she returned the kiss. Breaking away, Lexa led Clarke over to the meal she had set up and they settled in next to her on the bench to eat.

The meal went wonderfully. They joked and laughed and all signs of the confusion, worry, and nerves that had plagued each woman over the past several days was all but forgotten. Eventually, when they’d had their fill of the delicious meats and breads that Lexa had arranged for them, Lexa found herself sitting on a bench next to the table with Clarke pressed tightly against her side, one arm wrapped across Clarke’s shoulders, and the girl’s head tucked contentedly under her chin. Sighing, Lexa basked in the simple intimacy of finally being able to hold her love again. For a moment, she remembered her promise that, should Clarke have decided she was never ready, she would have been fine with never moving beyond this form of connection. She would remake that promise to Clarke in a heartbeat, she realized. Every time. So long as it meant she would still be able to hold her love like this.

She didn’t have to ruminate on that possibility for long, however, because soon Clarke’s head was turning under her chin so that her lips were pressed gently into Lexa’s neck and then she was kissing and sucking and her hands were roaming across Lexa’s body and Lexa knew that that would not be a promise she would have to make tonight. Quickly, the two fell into each other.

Once Lexa started responding, the heat increased exponentially until she suddenly found herself being pulled toward her own bed by Clarke. The expression of pure desire she saw on Clarke’s face sent shivers down her spine with each heartbeat. When they reached the edge of the bed the kissing resumed and Lexa managed to shove Clarke’s jacket off of her shoulders and get her hands under the front of her shirt. The feeling of smooth, creamy skin under her fingertips was enough to short out her brain and several more minutes of kissing went by before she somehow managed to get Clarke’s shirt off. When she finally got it over her head, she immediately leaned forward to press kisses down Clarke’s collar bones. Her hands wrapped around Clarke’s hips and pulled the soft, warm skin into her front. Even though her shirt was still on and she couldn’t feel the skin directly on her own, it was one of the best feelings she had ever know.

But the feeling didn’t last long. Before she knew what was happening, Clarke was pulling away from her and the heavenly feeling of her skin was ripped from her fingertips. Her eyes snapped open and she frantically scanned Clarke to figure out what was wrong. Clarke was smiling shyly at her and reaching behind her back, “Sorry, just let me get this really quick,” Clarke said as she fiddled with something behind her back.

Lexa’s blood ran cold in her veins. Her whole body froze. This was it, Clarke was going to pull a blade on her. She just didn’t understand what she had done to make it happen. She had been so certain she would show Clarke nothing but love. But now it appears as if she had failed. “Clarke…?” She gasped out before she could stop herself. She had wanted to ask what she had done wrong, but realized she probably didn’t deserve to know.

Clarke’s movements stopped as well when Lexa froze. She couldn’t read the expression on the other girl’s face, but it didn’t look good. And, when Lexa let out a gasp of her name so full of pain and confusion that it felt like her own heart had been smashed, she opened her mouth to ask what was wrong, only to see Lexa shake her head dejectedly, as if scolding herself.

“No, Clarke, I’m sorry. You may continue, I will not fight you,” Lexa said in a soft sad voice.

Frowning, Clarke moved her hands back to her front. Lexa was momentarily relieved when she saw that they were empty, but then she was just disappointed in herself for not only making Clarke uncomfortable, but then preventing her from protecting herself in the way of her people’s traditions as well.

“What are you talking about?” Clarke asked, shaken and confused. “Lex, what’s wrong?”

Scolding herself again, Lexa said, “Nothing, Clarke. You may pull your blade now.”

“What!?” Clarke exclaimed.

“I’m sorry, is that now how the ritual works? Am I not supposed to accept it?” Lexa asks, frowning.

“What are you talking about!?” Clarke exclaimed again.

“Oh, right. You call them dating practices. Lincoln told me,” Lexa muttered.

“Lexa! What are you talking about!?” Clarke said as she stepped forward and grabbed Lexa’s shoulders.

Frowning, Lexa answered, “You do not have to hide it from me, Clarke. I understand about the ceremonial blade.”

“Ceremonial blade?”

“Yes. The one you and Octavia got last night.”

“Oh my god,” Clarke gasped out. “That’s not- It’s not a rea- What exactly did Lincoln tell you?”

“I was curious as to what kind of Sky people dating practice would require you to stay away from me the night before we had sex, so I asked Lincoln. He said he overheard you and Octavia plan to find a special blade to use for the situation. When he asked, Octavia told him it was something Sky women use when they are worried about how their partners will react to their appearance. He explained that you and Octavia spent last night finding such a blade and practicing how to use it so you would be ready for today. I had hoped that I would not give you cause to use it, but it appears I have. So, I am sorry for whatever I did that made you wish to use it, but I promise I will not prevent you from carrying out your tradition,” Lexa stated as calmly as she could.

Clarke let out a huge sigh and sat down on the edge of the bed. “That’s not what the blade was for. You thought I was going to attack you with a knife right now?”

“What was the blade for? If it was part of your culture I would not have taken that from you,” Lexa said earnestly.

Smiling softly at that damn over the top chivalry again, Clarke laughed, “It wasn’t a ceremonial blade for some sky people tradition, that’s for sure. It was a razor to shave my legs with, Lexa.”

Lexa smiled softly, relived that Clarke wasn’t planning on using the blade on her, but she was still a bit confused. “Why would you shave your legs?”

“That is the Sky people dating practice, as you called it, I guess. Women are supposed to shave their legs. It’s supposed to be sexy. That’s why I needed to be alone last night. It’d been so long since I’d done it and I’d never used a razor like that before so it took a long time.”

“How does not having hair on your legs make someone sexier? You do not need to be sexier, Clarke.”

Clarke fell into a long string of laughter she couldn’t talk through and Lexa was too fascinated to interrupt. After a moment, Clarke’s face took on a very serious, yet tender expression and she said, “That’s very sweet Lexa but, you really thought there was a chance I was going to attack you tonight and you were going to let it happen? That’s- Lex that’s- No, I don’t think that’s okay. We need to talk about this.”

Lexa’s smile dropped. “I never actually thought you would use it. I thought you’d have it with you and we’d get going and you’d see how much I love every part of you and throw it away, end of story. That was why my reaction was so strong when I saw you reach behind your back I- why did you reach behind your back then?”

“I was unhooking my bra for you. I figured you wouldn’t know how,” Clarke explained. Then, she sighed again. “I guess it’s not a problem that you thought I’d just bring one. Just a misunderstanding.”

Smiling again, Lexa said, “Yes, just a misunderstanding. I hope this has not lessened your opinion of me.”

Laughing softly, Clarke reached out and grabbed Lexa’s hands to pull her to the bed as well. Lexa let herself be pulled and then guided to lay on her back. Clarke immediately fit herself against her side and Lexa luxuriated in the soft feeling of Clarke’s bare skin pressed up against her again. “Nothing could ever make me love you less,” Clarke whispered in her ear before capturing her lips again. As the kiss intensified, Lexa felt Clarke pull back once more. “Don’t worry, still just my bra,” Clarke teased as she reached behind her back. Once the clasp unhooked and the fabric fell away, Lexa didn’t even have the mental capacity to laugh at Clarke’s joke. Only Clarke mattered in that moment and they were finally going to get the intimacy they both needed after their time apart. She leaned up and sucked Clarke’s bottom lip in her mouth. Nothing in the world could have pulled her away.