Mending.
Joan whispered those words softly into Veras ears, as the smaller ones head fell to Joans chest, weeping. Veras hand still trying to cover the sounds as she gripped at her own stomach. The pain of knowing, she was going to have to deal with this sickness for the rest of her life, and it wasn't Joans fault. It was the prisoners fault. Maybe it was an accidental stick, since the doors were open, or revenge on the deputy.
Veras body fell to the floor, Joans body fell with her, wrapping her arms around the petite woman, engulfing her, moving a hand to the rested head, holding her tight.
“Shh...shhh...Shhhh.. Now.” Joan whispered, as her chin placed upon Veras head. “It's okay, I'm here now.”
“You weren't there before.” Vera slightly cried out.
“I know.”
“You rejected me. You pulled your hand away, yet you are holding me now. I don't understand.”
Joan could hear the pain in Veras voice, the desperation of needing answers, needing closure, needing to be loved.
“It caught me by surprise. This whole time you have bared this disease and I never knew. I told you, I'm not good with emotions and I seem to always show them in the wrong way.” She whispered, softly stroking the chestnut hair. Running her fingers delicately through the beautiful brown curls.
“I felt hurt that you didn't tell me. I felt guilt, knowing there was nothing I could do then or now. Remembering the look on your face on the CCTV broke me on the inside, just as it did the say I stood there watching you. When you took that punch to the gut, it made my own gut hurt. Seeing that needle against your neck, it scared the living shit out of me. Not knowing what was in it, if I was going to lose you that day.”
Joan spoke softly, taking a deep breath, her eyes glistened with tears, she was desperately trying to hold back, but was unable to. Vera broke walls inside of Joan, walls that she spent years building.
“I'm a danger to you now.” Vera spoke hopelessly. “I wish you would have told me before, maybe then...things would be different.”
Joan lifted her head a little and looked down at the cradling woman below her, in the fetal position in her arms.
“You are no danger to me, Vera. I can take care of myself.”
“If something happened, and you got this, I would never forgive myself.”
“If something happened, I assure you, I can handle myself.” Joan spoke sweetly, kissing the top of Veras head. She felt a shuffle beneath her, as she watched the younger woman lift her head. Joan moved her right palm up, cupping her deputys face. Her left still holding the smaller woman tightly.
They looked into each others eyes for a few moments.
Vera felt terrified, relieved, loved, and so many other emotions she didn't know how to handle. She didn't know what this meant, what Joan was confessing.
To Veras shock, the taller woman leaned in, embracing her lips. It was chaste for a moment, confused and shocked, but the love she had for this woman over rid all of it. Her body sunk into Joans, closing her eyes, she kissed her back. Deeply.
Joan moved her thin, cold lips over veras, tracing her tongue over the edge of the younger womans lower lip. That damn lip. It made her weak to her knees. She pressed her lips harder against Veras, letting her know she wanted her, that she did love her.
Vera melted, feeling Joans lips against her own. Feeling Joans hot, moist tongue against her lip made her ache in deep within. She complied, giving in, her lips parted as Ferguson's warm tongue glide against her lip, wanting entrance. She let out a slight, uncontrollable moan as her Governors tongue slid inside her mouth.
Their tongues danced for minutes. Vera moved her hand around Joans shoulders, pulling herself into the taller woman. Never did she think this would happen, that what she most desired would really happen. Even if it was just a kiss. She was in the arms of Joan Ferguson, lips locked together.
Joan loved the way her deputy tasted, loved the feeling of her tongue exploring every part of Veras mouth. She felt a tingle beneath her, she twitched her legs to control it. Now is not the time to push. God, she tasted so good. It made more then her heart melt, it made her melt inside, and deep between her legs.
Vera moved her hand that was wrapped around Joans neck, to her nape, pulling her in more. Needing to feel her more, needing to know she was wanted and loved. That she wasn't out casted, and unable to be loved in such ways. Tingles shot through her body, waves of pure pleasure rushed in her veins as their lips smacked together with such synchronized movements. She pushed her own tongue into her loves mouth, wanting to taste all of her, let their tongues fight for control. The brunette twitched her hips trying to control the pulsing waves beneath her.
Joan let her hand release off the younger woman's back slightly, just to run it over her back, wanting to feel all of her. She ran her fingers down Veras small frame, tracing her fingertips against the warm, delicate skin of her mid-drift. Her nails finally dug in as she felt Veras tongue glide in her mouth. She let out a soft pant, gripping her deputys face as she passionately kissed her.
This was wanted and needed by both of the broken women. They needed each other to mend them, to piece each other back together. Their bodies moved together, gripping each other. Running their free hands over one another, needing to feel everything.
After a few minutes of deep, passionate kissing, Joan broke the kiss, not moving, only a breath apart. She looked deep into those blue pearly eyes before speaking.
“Don't fear that you will never be loved.” She took a breath, smile creeping up on the edges of her lips.
“You are already loved.”