A bed of nails love
Vera had no words. Joan was being honest, something had changed in her, but what? A heavy breath escaped her mouth before responding. “N—NO.” came out flatly, Bennett crossing her arms with frustration as her head turned to the side with a sharp sigh. Her eyes blinking quick, seeing Joan from the corner of them. Her heart was racing, palms becoming sweaty, aching parts of her intensifying, emotions erupting within.
Joan arched a brow once again, watching over Vera's anticipation and shock. A small smile formed her face, a grin actually, feeling the mutual connection linger just by her deputy's actions. Ferguson herself was feeling tingles trail up and down her, flutter inside her, craving certain desires. She took a few steps forward, only about an inch away from Vera's frame now, bringing her finger to brush against the brunette's chin pulling it to face her. “Vera...” Joan began, with a soft tone, feeling the heat generate between them. “I need to know your thoughts. Your emotions. YOUR feelings, t—towards..you know, me.” she demanded, but not so much in a stern way, Before she knew it, her torso was shoved viciously backwards.
“Why now?!” Vera yelled, shoving her boss forward with aggression, feeling so much hatred yet loved mixed in causing her to become foggy brained. “Why did you wait until now!?” she demanded, yelling more, finding the wine glass she drank from moments ago, picking it up and chucking it across the room at the wall causing it to shatter into pieces, just like her heart was right now. Joan dodged sideways so the glass didn't hit her, her eyes were just as wide as Vera's was but, more with shock instead of hatred. Everything in that moment looked and sounded as if it was in slow motion. “JUST WHY!” Vera screamed now. “If you loved me, WHY didn't you just over rule like Channing did....WHY” tears began to fall from the brunettes eyes, and onto the floor. Joan's own eyes tearing up a tad bit, utter shock and plain heart ache plastered across Ferguson's face as Vera looked towards her.
Joan didn't know how to react. This was a Vera she'd never seen before. Ferguson actually liked to see such a side, as twisted as it might sound, causing her certain desires to heighten a bit and cause more heat but, her heart broke at the same time knowing all this dreadful emotion was caused by she herself. “VERA BENNETT!” Joan yelled with demand, taking control stomping toward her deputy, then grabbing both of her wrists firmly. The deputy who had just shoved her violently after Joan was letting go for the first time in her life. “LOOK AT ME!” she demanded once Vera's gaze turned away purposely, knowing that she wasn't acting clearly. “I need you, to LOOK AT ME” Joan now almost begged before watching those beautiful blue hues filled with tears, turn to Ferguson as demanded. Joan's heart sinking with that guilt, shame, regret.
Vera held back as many tears as she could from flowing, but it wasn't working too well as more fell down upon her hot face. Her body jumped slightly when Joan yelled at her, demanding at her. She couldn't believe that she had shoved Joan the way she did, or broken the glass she was given to drink from seconds ago out of pure rage. Bennett was clearly losing her grip on everything and hearing words she had always wanted, for so long, in such bad times was just overwhelming. “I'm looking at you.” she replied softly, weakly.
“Answer me.” Joan demanded.
“Answer you, what” Vera asked, already knowing what, but purposely shying from it.
“You know exactly what. Stop with the games, you answer those questions now. You got what you wanted, so stop acting this way.” Joan demanded once more, her tone rolling in a more calm and soft approach.
Vera sniffled back some, tilted her head back a little to gain access to Joan's eye contact feeling the strong firm hands pinned around her little wrists firmly, not budging. “I've loved you since the beginning. I've always cared deeply for you, loved you. I also hate you, and hate hating you because, I love you so much” Vera replied finally, letting the truth set free as it hurt so bad to say what she did at the end, her eyes squinting slightly as a tear tried to escape, seeing the look of pain cross over Joan's face after she spoke, even feeling it.