Chapter 8
When Monday came, Delphine felt like something was off. Eyes averted everywhere she looked as she walked down the main hallway towards her locker. She had acquired a ride from her mother who had been puzzled, to say the least, by the recent change of habit. It was a strange feeling she got from everyone… that something had happened that she wasn't privy to. She was missing something, but she had no idea…
Delphine gasped as her books were knocked out of her hand, her shoulder suddenly throbbing from a sudden impact.
"Ugh… watch where you're going, dyke." The girl who had bumped into her glowered, making a production of wiping off her own shoulder. "I don't want your carpet-munching germs on me." Her voice was loud enough for everyone around her to hear, a small chorus of laughter echoing off the walls of the populated hallway.
A cold chill coursed down Delphine's back as she froze in place. Her brows furrowed in confusion as she watched the girl walk away, obviously proud of herself. Delphine found many pairs of eyes on her, revealing a mixture of hatred, disgust, and very few sympathetic gazes.
She hadn't expected to face such negativity when she woke up that morning. It hadn't even been a worry of hers the past two days. Her weekend had gone by at an agonizingly slow rate after the night Cosima had dropped her off. She kept playing the scene over in her mind, the accidental brush of lips, the soft pressure of a kiss returned for the briefest of moments before panic had taken over.
What the hell had she been thinking? She was supposed to be on a mission to save Cosima's life, not ruin it. She was doing a completely horrible job of… she didn't even know what she was doing. Her mind was a jumbled mess.
Her mother had inquired about her silence and her unwillingness to take calls from Alison or Krystal, but had just nodded when Delphine chose not to disclose her discontent. She'd never been one to stay home all weekend when she was a teen, preferring the company of her friends over her parents. She had also been a big talker, always on the phone when she finally got home. But there was only one call she wanted to take. She had attempted to call Cosima all weekend, but Sarah had continued to say Cosima wasn't home.
She was avoiding her own friends, and Cosima was avoiding her. The last thing on her mind had been the prospect of the entire school hating her.
Kneeling, she couldn't stop her hands from shaking. Nervousness or fear… whichever it was seemed to consume her. Reaching for her books, her hand was intercepted, someone appearing to pick up the books quickly.
Dark hazel eyes looked up at her, long dark hair pulled back into a ponytail in a way that seemed more to get it out of the way than one of fashion. "Just ignore them."
Delphine tried to wrestle up a smile. "Thank you… Antoinette."
Eyes doubled in size, not expecting one of the school's most popular girls to even know her name. "Glad to help." Handing the books over, she stepped back, putting space between them. "Keep your head up, Delphine." She offered a quick smile before continuing on her way down the hallway.
For a moment, Delphine turned to watch the girl leave, remembering the self-assured man of the future who exerted a confidence she could barely relate to the softball player. That was one life she didn't want to meddle with. She didn't want to risk interfering with the road from Antoinette to Tony.
With a small smile, she turned and jumped in surprise, not expecting her path to be blocked.
Alison hugged her binder to her chest as she looked Delphine over. Her lips were pursed in a way that the blonde recognized as discontent… suspicion…
"I'm sorry I didn't make it to the game." Delphine decided to start at, her eyes looking over the hallway, suddenly paranoid of everyone passing by. She wasn't exactly sure what was going on, but eyes continued to dart away from her wherever she looked, she suspected her defense of Cosima wasn't being accepted well by the main population. "I did not think my presence would be welcome after…"
"Forget the game." Alison cut her off with a solemn shake of her head. As if realizing how exposed they were, she tucked her hand in the crook of Delphine's arm, pulling her towards the bathroom. She checked each stall to make sure they were alone before setting her binder on the sink. "What is going on with you and Cosima?"
"What?" Delphine took a step back.
Alison sighed heavily. "Everyone is saying you and Cosima are… together. Like someone said they saw you and her on a date together on Friday and that's why you weren't at the game."
Delphine rolled her eyes at that. "We were studying. She's helping me with calculus."
"And Paul is spreading some not so nice things about why you broke up."
"Paul is the last person you should listen to about why we broke up."
"And Aynsley said she saw you kiss Cosima."
Delphine froze. The world seemed to slow to an uncomfortable stop until she felt a rage begin to rise in her as she thought about her blabbering neighbor. The problem was she couldn't even deny it. How many in the neighborhood had seen the small slip up that was nothing more than an innocent accident? "Aynsley needs to learn to mind her own fucking business."
"Delphine!" Alison bristled.
"This is ridiculous. I don't need to stand here and defend myself…"
"I'm not accusing you of anything, Delphine." The brunette shook her head, a troubled look crossing her face. "I just… I wanted you to know what was going on. And… well… if you needed to talk to anyone… no judgement here."
Delphine took a deep breath. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. Why was she having trouble saying the words? There was nothing going on between her and Cosima. It was just a friendship. The kiss had been a mistake and meant nothing.
It meant nothing. Why did her stomach flip, filling her with a nausea at just the thought.
"We're friends." The words were monotone as they slipped out, as if she were forcing herself to say them. It's not like it was a lie. It was the truth. They were just friends. "We've just studied together and she's the nicest person. She doesn't deserve all this bullshit."
"Okay okay." Alison backed up a step.
"I just need…" Delphine shook her head. "Thank you Alison for worrying about me. I need to go." She needed to find Cosima. She needed to get to her before the rumors. "Thank you." She spoke one more time before rushing out to the halls. They were vacant, everyone in class, and she had no idea where to even start.
"Honey, are you sure you're ok?"
Cosima nodded, giving her mother a weak smile.
"You've been sick all weekend. I really want to take you to the doctor."
Shaking her head, Cosima sat up. She was already late. School should have started an hour ago. Sarah had left long ago, leaving her behind with a worried look. "I just… I just need today. I'll be fine tomorrow. I just… I can't deal with school today."
Her mother gave her a dubious look before leaning forward, pressing her lips to the girl's forehead. It wasn't often Cosima gave her mother a reason to pause. She was a straight A student and was never in trouble. "Well… As long as you stay home. I'd rather you be home than getting high at the beach…" She gave the girl a pointed look, making it very evident she knew exactly what went on with her daughter. "But you're going back to school tomorrow, no arguments."
Cosima nodded quickly. "Deal." She didn't want to go to school. She wasn't ready to deal with the mess she'd made with Delphine. The entire weekend of avoiding the girl's calls and she had yet to prepare herself for facing the music.
She could hear the hum of the garage, indicating her mother leaving as she made her way upstairs. She'd actually been up for hours, trying to work up the nerve to go to school. Well, she had one more day now. She needed to strategize. She needed to make a plan and execute it perfectly.
She needed to call things off with Delphine. No more hanging out. No more studybuddy dinners. No more tutoring. She could do it.
She grabbed a Sunny D from the fridge, drinking half of it in one pull.
She really shouldn't have been surprised when there was a knock on the door, but she was when she pulled it open to reveal a very worried looking blonde. "Delphine?"
"You've been avoiding me."
She wasn't ready for this. She had needed to plan. She needed to gather her courage. "I've been sick." Cosima stepped to the side as Delphine entered.
"Sarah said you weren't home." She pinned Cosima with a knowing look. "Don't lie to me, Cosima. You've been avoiding me."
Cosima shrugged, not sure what to say. "I don't know what you want from me, Delphine. I just… I don't think we should hang out anymore."
The blonde froze, her eyes narrowing. "Non. You don't get to decide that."
Dark brows furrowed. "Um… yeah I do." She took a deep breath, steeling her resolve. "Look. It's been fun, and you're a cool chick, but you're cramping my style." She swallowed, the words stuck in her throat. "I can't afford to keep missing school and you're just…"
Delphine stepped closer. "I'm what?"
Cosima swallowed. Not worth the hassle. She wanted to say it, to drive the knife in and sever the connection, but she couldn't. She couldn't make herself say the words that were nowhere near true. Delphine was worth all the hassle and more. She knew it was probably the most idiotic thing she'd ever done, falling for the pretty, popular cheerleader, and a week ago it would have been so easy since they never really spoke, but suddenly the girl was paying attention to her, wanting to hang out, wanting to study. Maybe it was some weird hero thing, because she had saved the blonde from her boyfriend, but… "I just can't do this."
"Do what?"
Delphine took another step towards her and Cosima could feel the heat radiating off of her body. "I just can't, Delphine." Her voice cracked in desperation as she turned away, not wanting her to see the tears that began to well up in her eyes.
"Hey… come here." The second her hands cupped the brunette's face, there was no altering the course. She pulled her forward, a warm hand wrapping around her wrist as their lips met.
It was insane, Delphine decided. She'd gone insane. She'd lost her damn mind and she had no idea what she was doing anymore. This was so far from an accident. This was intentional, as intentional as she could possibly make it. She felt the brunette begin to respond, shock wearing off as she returned the kiss. There was an innocence in the kiss, a gentleness that Delphine hadn't experienced in a long time.
It made her break the kiss off, unable to deal with the tenderness. She had to catch her own breath at the look on the girl's face, eyes closed with an almost dazed smile on her lips. Eyelids fluttered open and she was caught in the gaze of dark hazel eyes, finding herself being drawn back in. It was almost like she had no control of herself. She knew that she shouldn't be doing this, but a tentative hand moved to her waist and she found herself getting lost in it.