Green Eyed Green Beret

The rest of dinner goes nicely, sweet glances, playful words, brief moments of touching of the two girls hands across the table or knocking of feet beneath it. Lexa’s smile is glowing replacing the painted on version she typically wears. Her heart is pounding in her chest as she takes Clarke’s arm in her elbow and walks them to her car. The blonde smiles appreciatively as she opens the door for her again helping her into the car for the drive back to drop her off.

Driving back the pit in Lexa’s stomach grows as the butterflies in there start to have a conniption. Where will this night lead? What does Clarke expect from her? Will she be disappointed? The questions bounce in the back of her mind as the rest of her drives one handed, right hand occupied by the warm gentle hand belonging to her gorgeous date. The gentle stroke of a thumb along her skin sends chills up the brunette’s spine. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

She finds herself turning her head to look at the girl beside her who has brought her hand up to her lips and pressed it to her smile. Lexa offers a soft smile before turning her focus back to the road. “Thank you, for tonight.” The blonde offers moving their hands to rest in her lap as her are hand rests on Lexa’s forearm. “It was nice. Best free food I’ve ever had.”

“I’m glad you liked it.” She squeezes the girl's hand a moment as she places the car in park outside Clarke’s building. “I told you you looked beautiful tonight didn’t I?”

Lexa turns her head to look at Clarke, shifting in her seat to face the blonde a little better. “You did.” Clarke does the same so their shoulders are more square. “Many times.” Lexa’s heart grows softer at the pink resting in the blonde’s cheeks and the slight upturn of her perfect lips as she leans in closer to the center consul of the car.

“I had fun tonight.” Lexa finds herself leaning in instinctually drawn toward the girl smiling at her like she is the only thing in the world. “Thank you for joining me, Clarke.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” She leans forward drawing Lexa closer still, she brushes her lips against her cheek in a soft whisper of love “And…Tonight doesn’t have to be over.” A lump slides down Lexa’s throat as she fights the twitch in her in her core, the part of her that wants nothing more and the part of her that is so terrified she can’t think to move.

“C-clarke.” The blond leans back and takes in the wide eyes and the now very red face of the woman sitting across from her. She can’t help but smile at the most flustered she’s ever seen Lexa but she also feels bad. She is clearly not ready for that step and Lexa is kicking herself for it. She can’t look at those blue eyes any longer. She is such a disappointment.

A hand finds her cheek thumb gently running across the side of her face. “Lexa, I don’t want tonight to be over but that doesn’t mean it has to go in that direction. Stay. Have a beer. Don’t. Watch football with me on the couch. Watch a sappy movie. Play cards. Anything. I just don’t want tonight to be over.” She joins her eyes back with Clarke’s who's have gone softer than before and is now glancing away. “This night.. It’s been amazing and I haven't had this good of a time in a while. I want to spend more time with you.”

Lexa doesn’t answer with anything but the calmness returning to her gut. “Great, I sound desperate. It’s just, I haven’t seen you all week. I miss you. Now I’m the one rambling.”

A surge of confidence hits Lexa’s bloodstream as she takes the blond’s cheek in her own hand and places tentative lips to hers. “Stop your rambling then.” She leans back and smirks over at the sigh passing from the other woman’s lips. “Beer and TV sounds nice, you can pick this time. Do you mind if I borrow some more comfortable clothes? Dresses aren’t exactly my favorite.”

“But you look so good in them.” Clarke winks as she gets out of the car and opens Lexa’s door intern for her. “Comfy clothes and cuddles it is.” She steals a gentle kiss from Lexa and the brunette feels her smile against her lips. She could get used to kissing Clarke. There was no doubt about that. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

Lexa takes in Clarke’s apartment. It’s small, but homey, more so then her own. There are photos where her apartment holds empty shelves. The walls hold paintings, beautiful paintings, where Lexa’s are plane. She never wanted to make a permanent residence of this place. She would just be deploying again after all.

Maybe. Hopefully. Lexa feels her mind wondering back to thoughts of her situation. What got her here in the first place. Where she is going. Her back isn't getting better. But she has to go back. She fights guilt gnaws at her gut for being here when her guys are over in that hell hole. You are allowed to live. 

“Sit down while I go grab you something to change into. Lexa, relax, ok? Quit thinking so hard. I’ll be right back.”

She only nods as she sits on the couch. Mouth shut. Back strait. Just like they taught her at West Point. Army through and through, except where she isn’t, except where it’s her father’s blood in her veins, that god forsaken blue and gold. Nonetheless the military owns her. Her life is the United States of America’s, no more no less. Well, maybe less now that she’d been broken for it. Would they cast her aside like the broken piece of equipment she has become? Probably. She'd be lying if she said they wouldn’t. What good is a soldier who can't fight…

“Hey, are you ok? What are you thinking about?” She finds the blond in front of her, shirt and sweats in hand. She had been looking straight ahead but she hadn’t even noticed Clarke approach. She just smiles without a word as she stands. “I found your stuff I borrowed, is that ok?”

“It’s perfect. Thank you.” She smiles as she walks by the blonde with a look, where can I change?

“There is the bathroom or you can change in my room. I’ll be right here. Can I get you a beer or anything?”

“A beer sounds great. Thank you.” Lexa decides on the bathroom not wanting to invade Clarke’s room. She takes a moment to run water over her face and look herself in the mirror before she slides the shirt over her head. Relax. Lexa. Don’t think about war. Just for one night. One night Is all I ask. I’m begging you.

She collects herself and walks out to find Clarke reclined easily against the couch extending a beer towards the approaching girl with a smile. “There’s my Lexa. Baggy sagging sweats and all. C’mere.” Her hand bounces on the couch next to her. “The Pats are still playing.”

“Your Lexa huh?” She sits slowly leaning into the soft plush couch and letting Clarke lean into her side as she takes the beer from the girl. Lexa’s free arm falls around shoulders rising and dipping in a content sigh.

“Yeah, my Lexa. Problem?” Turning her head down she finds those big blue eyes that contain much more than the ocean looking up at her with a mischievous grin.

The brunette cranes her neck to the side feeling the stretch in her still tight shoulders and back as she places a kiss on the laugh crinkled forehead. “Nope.” She trades the soft skin of Clarke's head for the cool glass of her beer as she allows the brew to wash over her tongue savoring the taste of both.

A lazy arm snakes across her middle and Clarke leans more against her, eyes questioning if this was ok more so for Lexa’s comfort than emotional approval. Lexa only nods and sighs into the contact - it wasn’t the most comfortable but then again nothing is anymore and so long as Clarke was good she could handle some stiffness in her back.

“I just can’t believe you're a Pats fan.”

“Through and through. Tell me you don’t like the cowboys. I’m not sure I could recover from that. You being a UNC fan is enough to overcome on it’s own.”

“I’m just a fan of football.” She shrugs with the weight of the blonde against her. “Seahawks football.”

“I can live with the Seahawks.”  Tom Brady laces a perfect pass up the sideline. The man can work brilliance. His footwork is- soft lips press to the nape of her neck and apparently so can Clarke's lips. Holy wow.

“Mmmhmm.” Her eyes flutter shut as the lips part from her skin. “Me too.” Mumbles past her lips less coherent than she would have liked. Laughter rumbles through the girl pressed up against her as the head rests back against Lexa’s collar bone. Her cheeks and ears burn, good thing Clarke is watching the game instead.

A hand rests on her core and shakes her slightly as Lexa opens eyes she hadn’t realized she had shut. “Lex, if you're tired you can go sleep in my bed. It’s ok.”

“What?” Lifting her head from the back of the couch she yawns. “I’m not. It’s a good game. Brady is playing great.”

The warm chuckle of the blonde somehow allows Clarke to press closer into her side and nuzzle into Lexa’s shoulder. “The game’s been over for an hour.”

“Oh..” She glances to the clock, it has to be getting late. The red numbers glow at her 11:55. “Aren’t you tired? I thought you had a long shift today.” A yawn runs it’s way out of Clarke as she attempts to say no. “We've fallen asleep together before Clarke, I actually sleep better with you.” Her cheeks burn at the admission but it’s true and something seems off. “So we can just sleep. If it’s ok if I stay. I was kinda hoping if you didn't have plans tomorrow we could do something. But is it that you don’t want to sleep or that you can’t sleep?”

“What did you have in mind for tomorrow?”

“I was thinking Golfing and just spending a day out together. But don’t avoid the question, Clarke. You’re exhausted.”

“I - sleep is hard sometimes. It’s not a big deal. I drink a lot of coffee.”

“Clarke, what’s wrong? You really need to sleep more. I worry about you.”

“It’s just been a hard year...couple of years.”  The brunette bends her head down to rest her chin on top of the girl’s head. Indeed it has. Clarke sits up away from Lexa who lets her arms fall easily to her sides where she was holding the other woman. “I-uh-nothing like your’s. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”

Lexa holds her arms open inviting the girl back into her place. Her skin already missing Clarke’s warmth that flowed through her body warming her very soul and maybe even starting to peace it back together. “Clarke, just because I had a rough year doesn't mean you're not allowed to have one. Things happen. Life is shitty. One person’s experience doesn’t negate another’s. It’s not a competition.” She can’t help but shrug, life isn’t bad, but man does it actually suck sometimes. “Maybe my arms can offer some comfort. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I’m here either way.” She offers the most understanding smile she possibly could. Clarke seems to accept as she falls back into the open arms slowly snuggling back into Lexa.

“You’re amazing you know that right?”

“Careful, you keep telling me stuff like that I might start to actually believe you.” Lexa deflects only semi successfully. These kinds of things always make her a little uncomfortable, not quite believing them, or knowing how to react. Because though the brunette was incredibly sure of herself in just about everything, around Clarke and in a relationship she felt completly out of her element and completly undeserving of this kind, beautiful, woman's love. Especially after thinking about what her life has consisted up until this point, Lexa was pound of it, but compared to Clarke.. it seemed insignificant. The girl was training to save lives.  

Those big blue eyes go back to the soft smile they carry as the stormy depths disappear at least for a moment. Understanding flashes deep too. Lexa might be confident but insecurity plagues everyone. The girl stretches up to be level with Lexa darting her eyes down to her lips. Hands brush hair she hadn’t noticed had fallen away from her face. The fingertips leave chills running down Lexa’s spine.

“I can show you.” Soft lips press to hers, and Lexa returns the kiss, more firm than the quick pecks and tentative questions before. Clarke’s tongue traces her lips and she instinctively opens her mouth allowing the blonde entrance. God she hasn’t made out like this since high school and damn Clarke is good at this kissing thing. Her hands have wrapped around Clarke’s hips hugging her close. She feels hands slide under her shirt and start to lift it up running up her twitching obliques.

“Clarke.” Her heart is pounding, her breathing growing heavy and she can’t help but think she’s out of shape. She should stop this but then again she can’t think about anything really. She lets the shirt get lifted over her head exposing her torso and bra.

“Hmm” The blonde mutters between their lips pressing with more urgency moving to to stratal Lexa’s hips. “Tell me to stop.” It was more of a dare than Clarke had intended but no way did Lexa want this to end. Full pink lips on her own, breaths mixing in growing urgency, hands roaming….

Clarke leans back eyes full of passion that makes Lexa’s stomach drop and a new lump slide down her throat as the blonde crosses her arms in front of her and lifts her shirt off in a swift motion. Her shaking hands steadying themselves on Clarke’s hips. Lexa takes in the tight torso the curve of Clark’s hips, the swell of her breasts against her bra. She is so beautiful. The soldier can’t help but think how unmarred her skin is in contrast to hers and she couldn’t be more thankful that Clarke hadn’t had to deal with at least those pains.

Something crashes to the ground startling Lexa. Her mind snaps quickly from the blissful intake of the beauty in front of her flipping them over so Clarke is on the couch with her protectively crouched on the ground looking for the treat empty beer bottle in hand as her only weapon - it will have to do. As her eyes scan the room she finds the intruder, Clarke’s t-shirt had knocked a lamp over on the table behind the couch when she had tossed it off.

Her head drops as she lowers her arms and pulls her unoccupied hand away from its protective position over the girl on the couch as she lets the empty beer bottle fall to the ground. What is wrong with you. Suddenly aware of the lack of t-shirt on her torso she grabs it and slides it over her head. If it was possible it is almost like her scars are raised from her skin and glowing, and not just the ones that mark her skin. She just feels exposed and entirely too open for the moment. “Clarke, I - “

The blonde reaches behind the couch and slowly puts her own shirt back on before putting her feet back on the ground and leaning over to hug Lexa to her chest. “It’s ok. It's ok, Lexa, don’t you dare apologize for that.” She mutters into ruffled brown curls in such understanding that leaves Lexa confused on how someone could be so patient so invested in her. They haven't known each other for that long and Lexa has a lot of demons crawling around even ones hidden to herself and she really doesn't understand the way Clarke is so good about it. “How bout if I hold you tonight? Please, Lex, you’re safe here with me and all I want to do is hold you.”

“I’m not afraid. I don’t need comfort..”

“I know.” She nods, Clarke knowing that on some level it isn’t true at all. Lexa might not need the comfort from being startled and she isn’t afraid of anything in the slightest but this woman needs something. She needs reminder that she’s home that she’s safe that it’s ok to get lost in a moment, that it's ok that part of her is still at war. “It’s instinct. I know you don’t need my protection, but you’re just so damn cute and you kinda fit in my arms perfectly… so let me hold you.” She only nods and climbs onto the couch into the warmth of Clarke behind her. “Good night, Lexa. Sleep well you beautiful, beautiful soul.” Tickles the brunette ear sending a shiver down her spine as she relaxes further into the women behind her and letting her eyes shut.