Puppy or Person
Clarke’s eyes open slowly as she yawns, soft brown hair tickling her chin as it drops to let the (hopefully not too bad) breath into the cozy air of her apartment. A sleepy smile replaces the tired puff of air past her morning thirsty lips as she glances down at at the beautiful woman sleeping against her chest curled tight into her body. Clarke’s arm drapes easily over her torso gently rising and falling slow and smooth in the breath of sleep.
The blonde grows reluctant to move in fear of waking the sleeping woman. Lexa’s usually pressed brow relaxed and face at ease in maybe the most peaceful looking sleep Clarke has seen. She can’t help but wonder if sleeping is the only time Lexa can really be at peace anymore but maybe it's the place most vulnerable to her mind’s attacks. They have yet to really talk about it but the girl is struggling even if she won't admit it or can’t see it. But damn, Lexa is so beautiful all tucked into her like this. The morning sun thing off her somehow not greasy brown hair giving it a golden sheen, Clarke just hoped hers wasn’t too bad. The gentle light playing off of Lexa’s tan face hardly visible from the angle Clarke was glancing down at where it rested on her chest.
Though still warm Clarke pulls the fuzzy blanket up covering most of Lexa and herself as she yawns again pleading that she wouldn’t wake the sleeping woman. Clarke gets an urge in her gut to press her lips to the dreamless forehead and whisper secrets into her hair. God, I love you - passes through her mind at near lightning speed. She almost doesn’t catch it but does just in time to stop those intimate words from slipping past her lips that she does find at the surprisingly small girl’s hairline. She suppresses coughing at the near slip. What the hell? No. Clarke. You can’t possibly be in love already. Slow the fuck down. She really couldn’t be in love already could she? Maybe, but she knew she was falling hard and fast for the still fairly mysterious woman in her arms.
She grabs the remote off the couch next to Lexa and turns the TV to the news before thinking about it and catches herself changing the channel to Sports Center. She knows Lexa isn’t that fragile but the news talks about a lot of things and Clarke’s hated that the woman gets tense at what’s going on. She never asks but she is so curious if it's because of her not being there to do something or it bringing up memories. She imagines it's more of the first because she is slowly learning Lexa’s secretly swelling heart and how tender it really is. She knows Lexa feels so deeply, the kind of stomach churning, chest tightening care the breaks your heart and fills your gut with a emptying kind of sorrow. Clarke feels it too to some degree but a little differently.
Like the other day for example, there was a news thing that popped up on the woman's phone. Lexa was incredibly informed, Clarke would give her that... Anyway... there apparently was a bombing in Iran of all places that killed 13 people. Lexa's face had gone pallid and she let out a huff of air as if it had really punched her straight in the gut. Iran! Iran is probably the farthest thing from an ally and here she was, a soldier, who had fought some of these people, some of these people had tried to her, and she was nearly made sick over the thought of a bombing. Even in Iran, a place where that happens on a semi-regular basis. So yeah, Clarke knew it upset her on principal, and probably even more so that she wasn't doing anything at the moment to make it stop.
Clarke respected her for that, and the way she stepped up as a leader. Clarke herself is a little afraid of the leadership or responsibility that may come with Lexa’s profession but she gets the sense that though Lexa says she was born for it, she was probably raised for it as well. That’s a lot of pressure on a kid, her parents did it to her as well but Clarke was a reluctant to be a leader, someday soon though she feels like she might have to be the thing she never wanted. You can't really avoid destiny can you? Clarke sure hopes so.
Didn’t Lexa’s father try to protect her from that responsibility? It killed her mother, it killed him eventually, probably a lot of his friends. Maybe she couldn't have been protected, not with being all around it or maybe he knew the positions she would be in, in some strange way and tried to prepare her as best as he could. She hopes she can talk to Lexa about it, find out more. Because this woman was so damn interesting and Clarke wanted to know everything about her.
So she keeps the sports channel on. Lexa loved them, Clarke liked them enough, and nothing in sports would stir that sense of duty pulling so hard at Lexa’s soul and tugging more and more at Clarke’s own heart. Clarke hates how much her mind wanders, she really does. Because she feels Lexa wake up against her and almost misses it as she gets stuck in her own head.
She does catch it though and smiles at the little squirms in the brunette’s legs brush soft skin against hers. “Good morning.”
“Mmmmm, morning Babe.”
Clarke would give her that, she did almost tell the woman she loved her. “Sleep well?” She yawns with a small laugh because she knew she did if the lines on Lexa’s face as she adjusts a little against her and the damp spot on Clarke’s shirt.
“Sports Center, huh? Closet Jock.” She glances up at her pillow, releasing a string of pops unintentionally and Clarke immediately guilty as her mind jumps to Lexa’s body and how stiff it must be feeling from sleeping all night on a couch curled into her side.
“Shut up. Is you back ok?”
“Mmmm, yeah.” The sleepy girls head nearly thumps back to it’s pillow made from the blonde’s sternum. “I’m perfect.”
Clarke can’t help but press her lips to the top of her head again “Mostly, but it hurts most days doesn’t it? Be honest, please Lexa, I want to help you. I can help you but only if you let me.”
“Clarke,” She shifts closer the blonde to continue muttering sleepily into Clarke’s tightening chest below her old T-shirt “it is ok.” Her head rubs into the shirt trying to bury deeper, god damn it she’s adorable. “Yes. It is painful most days, sometimes my legs go numb, others I’m not sure how I move at all, but it’s ok. You’ve seen the chart. It’s not going to get better.” The woman takes a deep breath as the warmth where her her head on Clarke goes cold at the lack of Lexa pressed up against her. She glances down from where she was not really looking at the TV to meet those tired honest eyes. “I’ve accepted that.” Well that’s a damn lie. “But it's not going to stop me. Don’t worry so much. Being in your arms and with you is not hurting me, Clarke.”
The void Lexa’s head and words left when it left Clarke’s chest is filled again as she lays back down and soothes a worry Clarke didn’t even know she had as if the matter was solved. Just like that. Clarke feels Lexa fall asleep again and can't help but chuckle. How could this woman, this tough as nails, strong warrior, legend of a woman be such a damn puppy?
“Do you want to go golfing today?” Lexa pushes herself up to meet the only seconds awake blonde’s lips with hers and Clarke finds her gut jump. Lexa’s lips aren’t tentative or questioning, but confident and firm on hers. Good morning. “You could shower and change here then swing by my place so I can shower and change then head out.” Clarke fights being melted again in the sleepy morning air, attention still caught by the breath of Lexa’s words tickling her lips.
“Sounds like a plan to me. You have all day?’
“Mhmmm.” Lexa kisses Clarke again who feels a heat growing in her core with the sleepy kisses disturbing her lips “and tomorrow.”
“Yeah?” Clarke catches her breath and tries not to press too much forward, though morning sex is sounding really really fucking nice right now. God she want’s Lexa but no way is she pressing to ruin whatever they have. It wasn’t worth it. Sexual tension is fun - she tries to convince herself without much success - not as fun as actual sex.
“Yeah.” Lexa leans over her and moves so her knee rests against Clarke’s center and the blonde has no idea if that is on purpose or not but she gasps into Lexa’s mouth who seems not to notice. She grabs the brunette's hips fighting how hard she wants to pull the shirt right over her head and run her fingers up Lexa’s toned sides. Fuck.
Lexa scoots back down and lays her head back in it’s spot. It was an accident then. Not like it matters. Clarke is entirely too bothered now as she lets her head drop back into the pillow on the couch. “How bout I go get that shower?” She sees her only opportunity for giving herself a chance to recover and takes it.
The brunette groans in protest but rolls off and lets her get up off the couch having no idea what she’s done to the Blonde. The sight of her all sprawled out on the couch focus shifted to the updates on the NFL pre-season whatever it is they are talking about makes her shake her head and want to laugh until she sees Lexa’s hip bones poking out from her low riding sweats and slightly pulled up shirt - why does she have to be so hot? shit… And that’s when Clarke realized it was on old game they were watching last night - not that it does anything to distract her from the things running through her head that probably shouldn’t be. Like how much she'd really like to lick those abs for one. Yikes. Don't be a weirdo.
She makes her way to the bathroom where she peels off her clothes and slides out of her lacy thong that had no chance of being appreciated by the oblivious brunette in the other room. The water jumps to life out of the faucet as she steps under the steaming stream. Her head leans back and she allows her head to drop back a little as her hand hand runs down her own toned stomach as her fingers get closer to the part of her aching for touch the most. Lexa can wait on the couch for a couple extra minutes, Clarke had a feeling it would not add too much time to her shower anyway as her fingertips reach the soft skin between her legs.