Maura Doyle

Casey was just about the last person Jane had expected to see at that moment, not least because he was supposed to be in Afghanistan. Not that she wasn't pleased to see him, she corrected herself guiltily. It's just that it really wasn't the best timing. She had to see Maura, had to tell her the good news about Ferguson. But… she reasoned, Maura would likely have already got wind of Ferguson's arrest, and it was pretty late- almost ten at night. And Casey had just flown in and come straight to find her; she sort of owed it to him to at least acknowledge his presence. Maura was safe; Jane could see her tomorrow.

But despite her resolve, she was distracted all evening. She zoned out over a late dinner at her apartment, found herself thinking about the case instead of paying attention as he told her about his unexpected leave, glanced at her phone enough times that he huffily asked her if there wasn't somewhere else she'd rather be. Well, not 'huffily' exactly; Casey didn't get in a huff about anything. In fact he was always almost inhumanly understanding. This, combined with her inability to focus on him, the man she generally referred to now as the 'love of her life,' frustrated her even further. What was wrong with her? Why couldn't she be happy he was here? Did she wish he'd go away again? What sort of a person would wish her boyfriend away into a warzone?

That night she slept long and late, the exhaustion and worry of the last few weeks finally catching up to her as she let her body relax for what seemed like the first time since Maura had gone missing. When she finally crawled out of bed it was mid-morning. Casey had already got up and gone for a run, and she found him in her kitchen, about to toss an old jar of Marmite he'd found in the back of her cupboard.

"Hey!" she exclaimed loudly, causing him to freeze, hand hovering above the garbage can. "Don't throw that out!

"It's two years past its use-by date!" he said reasonably, though his tone only served to infuriate her more.

"Maura gave me that!" She snatched back the jar and replaced it on the shelf, bristling at his patronizing smile, his condescending shrug.

His paternalistic house-husbandry and general good-natured criticism of her lifestyle only got worse throughout the day, and she was desperate to see Maura. But she couldn't tell Casey that- no one could find out that she knew where Maura was. By late afternoon she was about ready to jump out of her skin, so she told Casey some story about needing paperwork from the office and set off for Doolin's. Of course he didn't question her. He was completely, infuriatingly understanding. Jane was a committed detective, and Maura was missing, of course her mind would be on work all the time. Jane smiled gratefully and tried to ignore the feeling of guilt niggling at the back of her mind.

Jane walked into the bar so distractedly that she barely noticed the looks she received from its patrons.

"Alright if I go back?" she asked Danny, not noticing his surprise as she pointed towards the kitchen.

"Sure…" he replied, though she was already half way across the room. "Just buzz up."

Jane picked up the receiver by the elevator and worried her lip as she waited for an answer, twirling the phone cord absent-mindedly around her finger.

"Yes?"

Maura's voice interrupted the buzzing.

"Hey, it's me. Can I come up?"

"Of course…"

Jane didn't notice the concern in Maura's voice, still too wrapped up in her thoughts. She heaved back the metal gate and impatiently jabbed at the up button.

Upstairs, Maura hurried to conceal any evidence of the plans she had methodically put into action earlier that day, shoving papers into desk draws, shooting Steve a panicked look as she stared about, wondering how they could get their little crack team of criminal masterminds out of the apartment before Jane saw them, when the detective was in the elevator they would need to get back to the ground floor. Helena herded the others quickly towards the fire escape and had just managed to get the emergency exit door closed when the elevator dinged loudly to signal it's arrival.

Maura waited anxiously, wondering what could have caused Jane to risk coming here again so soon, her brow furrowed in apprehension.

"Is everything alright?" she asked as soon as the doors slid open.

"Yeah-" Jane responded distractedly.

"Jane?" Maura prompted. "Did something happen?"

"What?" Jane looked up in surprise. "No, no, everything's fine. Better than fine- we got Ferguson. We charged him with the murder of that officer. He's waiting to have bail set now."

"Yes, I heard, that's wonderful news Jane."

"I just wanted to let you know," Jane replied. "So you're safe now. You can come home."

"Oh Jane," Maura replied gently, already feeling terrible for bursting her friend's bubble. "You know I can't. He'll have his bail hearing and someone in his clan will pay up and he'll be right back out again."

"He might not…" Jane said falteringly, starting to feel a little foolish for dashing over here. "I mean, he killed a cop. And he's a flight risk- the judge might not let him out. We can argue-"

"But until that decision is made, I have to stay out of sight. And you can't just show up here; it's not safe."

Jane looked at her with slowly dawning realisation. "Of course- sorry. Shit I didn't even think. I just- I just wanted to see you. You're right though I shouldn't have come, that was stupid of me."

Maura's expression softened as the detective shook her head ruefully, disappointed in herself. "It's ok. I'm- It's good to see you again so soon!"

Jane gave her a pained smile, now feeling very foolish for having let her feelings run away from her. That her need to see Maura had apparently been so strong as to completely override all rational thought.

"Do you want a drink?" Maura asked, surmising Jane's mood as she moved towards a bar on the other side of the room.

Jane gave her a rueful smile. "Sure- what've you got?"

Maura raised an eyebrow at her, indicating the overflowing bar on the other side of the room. "Anything you like."

"Wow," Jane said in amazement. "Now I know this place was Paddy Doyle's- you'd have chosen a wine cellar."

Maura laughed as she pulled a beer from the fridge and turned towards an amply stocked wine rack in the corner.

"There's a bar downstairs- supplies aren't really an issue."

Jane smiled and accepted the beer as her friend uncorked a wine bottle.

"So," Maura settled in a chair next to Jane. "What's bothering you?"

"Why does something have to be bothering me? I can't just miss my friend?"

"You Corrugator Supercilii are contracting."

"My corrugated super-chillies are what now?"

"You're frowning."

"Did you know that we used more muscles to frown than to smile?" Jane teased, feeling better already.

Now it was Maura's turn to frown. "That assertion is actually highly contested. The University of Chicago Medical Center suggests that 11 muscles are used to frown while smiling requires 12. Besides which, the quantity of muscles used in generating a facial expression has no bearing on the amount of energy consumed by each muscle, and does not take into account the individual variability in facial muscles."

"Well, I see that life on the run has not cut into your fun-fact research time," Jane teased, taking a swig from her bottle and feeling herself start to relax for the first time all day.

"Actually Steve has been kind enough to acquire the latest copies of Scientific American and the Journal of Biological Chemistry."

"Oh thank heavens!"

Maura gave her a withering look as Jane grinned mischievously and sipped her beer.

"So seriously, Jane. What's going on?"

Jane studied her hand for a minute before replying. "Casey's back."

"From Afghanistan?"

"Mhmm. Got in last night. He's got two weeks' leave."

Maura worked hard to keep her face a mask of pleasant surprise, concealing the turmoil she felt inside. So Casey was back on the scene- that meant Jane would be distracted and might not pay too much attention to what Maura was up to, which was good. But on the other hand, that would mean Jane would be paying attention to Casey, a thought which gave Maura no small amount of discomfort.

"That's great," she managed, ignoring the prickling of hives at the base of her neck.

Jane looked unconvinced. "Is it? We had a pretty big fight."

"What about?"

"I don't know- he just does all these little things that bug me. He gets so domestic, but he doesn't check with me about anything. Just changes things around and starts meddling with my life without even asking."

Maura suppressed a sigh. So it was going to be one of those conversations. "Like what?"

Jane shrugged, not noticing her friend's reaction. "You know- throwing out old cereal. Putting things in different places."

"That does sound difficult to deal with," Maura responded with forced sincerity.

How many times had this conversation happened now? It seemed like every time Casey showed up Jane vacillated between being overjoyed one minutes and ready to throw him out the window. And Maura couldn't help but notice the little compromises that Jane always had to make, and how much she seemed to hate them. And yet, she continued to pursue this relationship. It made no sense to Maura at all. She simply looked forward to the date when Casey would leave and things would return to normal again.

"It is difficult!" Jane exploded. "I like my things to be where I put them. He just doesn't respect my space. And he doesn't respect my priorities. And he just shows up out of the blue and expects me to drop everything-"

"He probably doesn't get a lot of warning. He's at the mercy of the army's scheduling." Maura wondered vaguely why always seemed to be the one defending Casey.

"I know that, and I don't mean to be such a… Well such a bitch. I just- seeing him puts such a wrinkle in everything. I have to rearrange my plans and make time for him and stop doing other things…"

"That's called being in a relationship, Jane." Maura's tone was a little more impatient than she had intended. She bit her tongue.

"But shouldn't that stuff be easy? I mean, it shouldn't be a chore, right? To see someone that you're in a relationship with? It shouldn't be an inconvenience." Jane looked to her for reassurance.

"Maybe you just need to get used to giving up some control. I try to get you to do things that you don't want to all the time; give up coffee, go to yoga, eat kale, wear something other than a pantsuit..."

"Yeah but it's different when you ask me."

"Why?"

"I don't know, it just is."

Jane had a funny look on her face, like she was really considering the question for the first time. Her huge brown eyes gazed at Maura, whose stomach did a little backflip as Jane opened her mouth to give voice to a theory…

"Ahem-"

The unexpected noise caused the women to jump up in alarm. But it was only Steve, loitering in the doorway. He gave Maura a meaningful look. A look that was mindful of time, that said wrap this up now, we have things to do.

Though his look was meant for Maura, Jane seemed to get the message.

"I should go. You don't need to hear me whining about Casey anyways," Jane started towards the elevator leaving Maura trailing after her.

"Jane, no! Of course you can tell me about Casey. You can tell me anything. I'm always here for you- even if I can't be physically available." She heard the words coming out of her mouth in horror and flushed bright red, flustered, desperately trying to clarify. "I mean, not that I would be physically available… with you… to you. I just mean that I have to be here, and not out there with you. But I'm still there. I still care."

Jane had stopped in front of the elevator and was looking at Maura with that expression she used so often, that sort of fascinated, bemused appreciation. That look that would always melt into the biggest smile that lit up Jane's eyes and cause Maura's heart rate to increase suddenly. She smiled back at her friend, as Jane reached out to touch her arm.

"I'll see you soon, ok? This is almost over. You'll be home in no time, I promise."

Maura nodded, watched as Jane stepped back into the elevator, and the doors closed once again. She felt Steve's presence behind her, and the weight that had temporarily lifted with Jane's presence settled back on her shoulders. It was time to get back to work.

"Ready?" he asked.

Well, she really had no choice, did she?