Chapter Eight
Ray goes home in a daze. After seeing Sand for the first time in nearly two years and Ray manages to lose his temper, hit Sand and get thrown out and threatened by Sand’s new boyfriend. It isn’t until Ray is safely tucked away in his mom’s music room, away from the prying eyes of the maids, that he finally lets his emotions out.
An expensive glass tumbler smashes against the wall, and another, and another. Ray picks up a nearby lamp and flings it to the ground, a few shards flying back and cutting at Ray’s legs but he ignores it to punch a hole in the wall.
The sudden sharp pain in his hand, already bleeding from the knuckles, is what finally breaks Ray’s anger. He’s sitting in Sand’s favorite room in the house, surrounded by his dead mother’s vinyl and a floors worth of broken glass, a hole in the wall and a bruising hand.
Ray collapses against the couch, ignoring the frantic knocking at the door by some maid asking if he’s alright, trying to quell the urge to find himself a drink. Now the anger is gone- at Sand, Top, Nick, his dad, himself- Ray feels that bone crushing sadness settle itself in his bones. Mew had told him but Ray didn’t want to listen. Sand didn’t want to be with Ray anymore, says he doesn’t love Ray, is dating some rich douchebag named Top.
Tears prick at his eyes and flow down his eyes and into his hair. Ray needs Sand like he needs air. How is he supposed to live without Sand? Knowing Sand is one car ride away, knowing Sand is dating someone else? About an hour after Ray returned home and trashed his mom’s music room, Mew texts him.
‘I told you not to harass Sand.’
Ray feels his anger surge back up, quick even without a shot of tequila. ‘I didn’t! I needed to see him!’
‘And hit him across the face? For fucks sake Ray, this is the last straw for me. Don’t bother me until you get your shit together.’
Ray throws the phone across the room, where it hits the wall and shatters before clattering to the floor. Fuck Mew. Fuck everything! Ray’s whole world feels like it’s collapsing down around him. All that time in rehab just for Sand to date someone else.
But maybe…and the thought has Ray sitting up on the couch. Maybe Ray needs to fight harder. Sand did everything he could to help Ray the two years they were dating and Ray can’t weather this storm for Sand? No, of course he can! Ray loves Sand to give up so easily now. All he has to do is wait for that entitled looking douchebag to break Sand’s heart and then Ray can swoop in and fix everything. Be the shining white knight for once. All Ray has to do is be patient and keep an eye on Sand.
Which requires a few things. A new phone for one and a car, which means a driver's license. He could swing that, couldn’t he? All that time being sober at the facility has to count for something right? And once he gets his phone Ray will find a way to keep an eye on Sand’s socials- maybe Nick hasn’t made his accounts private?
The sudden buzz of the idea settles in Ray’s blood and now he can barely sit still. It’s like his blood is trying to jump out of his skin with his newfound plan and steps to accomplish it. The phone is easy- he goes to the mall the next day to get a new one. Nick hasn’t made his account private but hardly posts anything about Sand besides the occasional pic with Sand in the background. Nick is, however, dating some guy named Boston, whose account is a treasure trove of information. Apparently this Boston guy is friends with Top and likes to make little derisive comments at his and Sand’s relationship, which Ray tracks with an unnatural obsession.
Getting a new car is easy, thanks to Ray’s unlimited black card. The driver’s license takes a minute but he gets it soon enough, allowing him his freedom of movement once more. His dad didn’t seem happy about that development, not that Ray gives a shit. The car lets Ray find and track Sand, sticking mostly to crowded areas like Yo’s bar or Sand’s favorite shops. He knows better than to try and stake out Sand’s apartment- no good places to hide. Ray is going to be there when this Top and Sand relationship eventually blows up.