Chapter Seven
After that, things turn oddly normal. Of course, Nick and Sand’s mom both freak out when they see Sand’s face and Nick is threatening Ray with bodily harm until Sand says that Top protected him. This has the effect of Nick, not necessarily being Top’s biggest fan, but coming to tolerate Top in a friendly way that was beyond Nick before. Boston even cools down on the ‘friendly’ jabs at Sand and Top’s relationship, but that has more to do with Nick than anything else.
But otherwise…Ray stays away and Sand falls into the relationship with Top more seriously than before. Top starts staying over more at Sand’s place, accompanied by some good natured teasing from Nick. Sand and Top start doing annoying couply things like holding hands and feeding each other and wearing each other’s clothes. Top’s friends, Tong and King, both nearly choke at lunch one day when Sand decides to eat sitting on Top’s lap.
Sand allows himself to grow comfortable with Top. He listens when Top starts talking about architecture and interior design and takes a tour of one of Top’s family’s hotels. Goes on dates at Top’s favorite restaurants and brings Top to Sand’s favorite vintage store.
“Hey, can you pick up some takeout from that burger joint you took me to? I’m starving and craving their food.” Sand has parked his bike in the apartment parking lot and tucks his helmet under his arm.
“Sure.” Top says on the other side of the line. “Want your usual?”
Sand feels a little thrill of warmth that Top remembers his favorite burger from their first date. “That would be amazing, but I want a strawberry milkshake this time, not vanilla.”
“Oh you wild animal you.” Top teases.
“I like to keep things on the edge.” From the street a car backfires and Sand turns instinctively to look and feels himself freeze.
It can’t possibly be the car Sand is thinking of. Ray had toteled the convertible that night almost two years ago, there is no way it’s sitting parked across the street. No, it must be a similar looking car and Sand’s imagination is taking over. Ray can’t possibly be hiding outside Sand’s apartment like some little wannabe stalker. No way. His fears are proved unfounded when a strange man exits the store across the street, pulls out his keys, gets in the car and drives away.
Distantly Sand becomes aware that Top is still speaking to him, his voice small through the phone. “Sand, baby are you there? Is something wrong?”
But Sand is moving, phone still loosely held against his ear, running up the stairs, fumbling his keys for a few frantic moments before unlocking his door, falling into his apartment, and slamming the door shut behind him. Despite knowing it wasn’t Ray in that car, the fear is still pounding through his body.
“I thought I saw…” Sand’s panting voice interrupts Top asking if Sand is okay. “No, it’s nothing.”
“What have I said about lying Sand? I want you to tell me if anything is wrong.” Top’s voice is quiet and soothing.
“I just…I thought I saw Ray’s car. The one we got into an accident with. Just sitting across from my apartment.” Sand lets out a sigh as he tries to let the tension out of his shoulders, collapsing against the couch. “It wasn’t but I got so scared for a moment that it was.”
“Okay, you’re okay. I’m on my way right now. I just need you to breathe.” Top says.
Sand breathes deeply and listens to Top’s soothing voice over the phone as Top drives top speed back to Sand’s apartment. By the time Top arrives, phone still held against his ear, Sand has calmed down. In fact, he once more feels a little silly over his meltdown as both he and Top hang up their phones and Top comes to sit next to Sand.
“I feel stupid.” Sand’s voice is a whisper.
“Don’t feel that way.” Top’s arms find their way around Sand’s shoulders and he collapses against Top’s chest. “Your abusive ex-boyfriend is in your life again, however small. It’s understandable to be jumpy.”
Sand burrows his face against Top’s chest as Top gently rubs at his back. “I just hate that he’s out now, that Ray could just show up again, even after you threatened him.”
“Ray would be stupid to come anywhere near you.” Top hopes that Ray isn’t stupid.
“That’s never stopped him before.” Sand sniffles but he doesn’t want to cry.
“But this time you have me.” Top keeps his voice calm and controlled. He doesn’t want Sand to worry anymore than he already is.
“I’m happy that I do.” And Sand means it. His relationship with Top had started a little rocky but after that confrontation with Ray, Sand and Top have really come together as a couple. Sand likes being with Top, likes how Top makes him feel. Likes how Top seems so happy with Sand.
“Can you imagine saying that three months ago?” Top teases.
Sand gives a little snort and sits up so he’s facing Top. “Not really, but I’m glad I decided that night to sleep with you.”
“Me too.” Top brushes Sand’s hair away from his eyes. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”
“I’ll say. You broke your three month streak.” Sand says.
“We should buy a cake.” Top smirks in that way of his that drives Sand wild.
“Or…” Sand allows his worries about Ray to melt away now that Top is here, warm and loving and breaking his three month dating rule to be with Sand.
Sand leans forward and kisses Top softly and slowly, leaning into Top’s warmth and scent. Top’s hands reach up and cup Sand’s face gently as Sand breaks the kiss for air for only a moment before kissing Top again, tongues coming out to dance with each other. Top’s mouth tastes like those fruit smoothies he likes to drink.
It’s Top who breaks the kiss this time. “Are you sure?”
“Mhm, yeah.” Sand licks his lips. “I want you inside me.”
“Well, when you put it like that.” Top stands up and helps Sand get to his feet.
They slowly make their way toward Sand’s room, kissing and hands roaming. Sand slams his bedroom door shut behind him and pushes Top onto the bed. Before Top can sit up Sand is there, straddling Top’s hips and grinding down against Top’s erection. Top groans and grips at Sand’s hips, bucking up against Sand’s warm body.
Top then flips them over, so he’s hovering above Sand, leaning down to lick and suck at Sand’s sensitive neck. Sand moans loudly and tangles his hands in Top’s hair. Top latches onto a spot just below Sand’s jaw that drives Sand wild and bites at the spot to get Sand really riled up.
After a minute Top sits back up and peels off his shirt before helping Sand out of his. Sand wraps his arms around Top’s back as Top kisses at Sand’s chest, licking at one of Sand’s nipples. Sand is gasping as Top kisses his way down Sand’s chest, gently laying Sand down against the bed as he does, until he reaches the waistband of Sand’s jeans, which he shoves down Sand’s legs along with his underwear, to be thrown over the side of the bed.
Sand is hard beneath Top and he runs a teasing finger along Sand’s throbbing erection, prompting a gasp from Sand. Sand is nearly jumping out of his skin with pleasure as Top buries his head against one of Sand’s thighs and starts kissing and biting there like he did for Sand’s neck.
“More, ah, I need more.” Sand’s voice is pleading as Top moves from one thigh to the other, licking his way from Sand’s knee up toward the inside of his thigh.
“Should I open you up baby? Get you ready for my dick?” Top kisses Sand’s hip while avoiding his erection.
“Please, please, please.” Sand begs as Top stops his ministrations to take in Sand’s flushed face.
“You are so pretty when you beg for me.” Top’s voice is husky as he reaches into Sand’s bedside table and fishes out the lube and a few condoms.
“Need you inside me.” Sand’s eyes water with tears of pleasure and frustration as he watches Top slowly and liberally coat his fingers with lube. “Stop teasing.”
“But you love it when I tease you.” Top says as he slowly eases a finger inside Sand.
Sand can’t exactly argue with that. Instead he lets his legs fall open and spreads his hands across Top’s back as Top slides his finger in and out of Sand, managing to avoid Sand’s prostate even when he adds a second finger to scissor Sand open. Sand’s toes are curling with pleasure as Top adds a third finger and finally starts to brush against Sand’s sweet spot to get Sand gasping and arching against Top’s chest.
“Should I keep teasing you?” Top’s voice is low as he rubs against Sand’s sweet spot for just a moment before going back to opening Sand up. “Or-”
But Sand puts his little plan into motion. He shoves Top’s fingers out of him and pushes Top flat against the mattress on his back. Top makes a surprised noise as Sand yanks Top’s pants and underwear off to join Sand’s on the floor and Top’s erection springs free, thick and insistent. Sand reaches over, grabs one of the condoms, rips the foil open and unrolls the condom down Top’s dick. Straddling Top’s hips Sand lines himself up and lowers himself down onto Top’s erection.
Top lets out a strangled gasp as Sand’s warmth envelopes him. Immediately his hands go to Sand’s hips, to get Sand moving, but Sand resists the pull of Top’s hands.
“You’re not the only one who can tease.” Sand lifts himself halfway up before sinking down again. “I’m going to go my own pace, so hold on cowboy.”
Top throws his head back and laughs and Sand chuckles a little too. Top’s hands find their way once more to Sand’s hips, just to hold onto as Sand begins a slow but steady pace, fucking himself on Top’s dick.
Sand lets his fears and worries melt into the air as he loses himself in the rhythm of riding Top, The other man’s hands are warm against Sand’s hips, thighs, chest. Sand’s thighs burn as he picks up the pace, angling himself so Top’s erection hits his prostate with every thrust. Sand’s rhythm starts to go as the pleasure builds up inside him and Top, sensing that, suddenly sits up, flips them so that Sand is flat on his back with Top over him, who thrusts hard into Sand, chasing his own orgasm and bringing Sand closer to his.
After a minute of hard thrusts Sand comes between their stomachs, shouting and closing his eyes in pleasure. Top gives a few more thrusts and comes as well, collapsing against Sand beneath him. Sand groans as, after both catch their breath, Top gently eases himself out to get rid of the condom before settling in against Sand.
“I’m still open to getting that cake.” Sand says and Top laughs.
Boston never thought it would happen to him. Falling in love. He’s never once cared about anyone more than he cared about himself, until Nick came along. It started as casual sex, fucking good casual sex. And, okay, Boston liked Nick, outside the sex. Liked taking Nick’s picture and listening to Nick talk. It was nice. Good even.
It’s that slice of wickedness at Nick’s core that makes Boston fall in love. Nick is funny and kind and loyal but there is a little kernel of evil inside Nick that calls to Boston, makes him want to burrow himself inside Nick and never let go.
When they make it official, the first time, after a few weeks of casual sex, Boston thinks he can do it. Really do it- ignore the pretty boys who pass him by and focus only on Nick. And for a while he can until one night he has a few drinks and goes home with some pretty stranger and wakes up in his bed beside someone who isn’t Nick.
The fallout nearly destroys Boston. He’s never felt love for anyone before and losing Nick was like a punch to the gut. They remain separated for all of a week before Nick comes back and Boston swears he won’t cheat again and Nick believes him. Until it happens again, another breakup, but this time it’s Boston who comes crawling back, desperate for Nick’s love, Nick’s attention.
Sand, Nick’s best friend and roommate, watches these fall outs happen with solemn eyes, no doubt advising Nick to leave Boston for good. Not that Boston can particularly blame Sand for that advice. Unused to human emotion as Boston is, even he knows this on-again-off-again type of relationship isn’t healthy. Even so, Boston can’t stop and neither can Nick.
The Sand/Top relationship provides Boston plenty of distraction, staying his wandering eye as he invests that energy into making snide little jabs at Top. Nick mostly lets this slide until Sand and Top’s relationship becomes more serious, then he asks Boston to back off a little and Boston agrees, because he wants to make Nick happy.
But Boston’s eye begins to wander once more, now that Top is settled and in the longest relationship of his life. A part of him hates himself for this, that Boston has this great boyfriend in Nick and yet Nick doesn’t seem to be enough. But it’s not just that- he really does love Nick but Boston likes having sex with different people, anonymous one night stands who leave in the morning and leave the rest of Boston’s time free to love Nick. But that’s not what Nick wants.
They are on track for another inevitable breakup when Boston asks Nick if they can meet up at Nick’s place, to hang out and watch a movie, is what Boston says. But there’s more to it than that.
When he arrives at Nick’s apartment, Sand isn’t there and Nick has a movie cued up and fresh popcorn ready for snacking. Boston closes the door behind him and takes a moment to drink in the sight of Nick, beautiful Nick, sitting on the couch and beckoning for Boston to join him.
“Hey baby.” Nick kisses Boston as he takes a seat next to him. “I’m so glad you called, I missed you.”
“We saw each other yesterday.” Boston teases.
“Then it’s been too long.” Nick kisses Boston again. “I picked out a movie-”
“I have to tell you something.” Boston’s never felt nervous before. He doesn’t like the feeling.
Nick frowns at Boston’s tone. “What is it?”
“My mom, she lives in New York and I won a scholarship to study photography at a university there.” Outside of Nick, photography is the only thing Boston loves.
“I…” Nick’s eyes search Boston’s face. “You’re leaving?”
Boston forces himself to keep looking at Nick, whose face is settling into a look of confusion and hurt. “I won’t go, if you don’t want me too.”
Boston means it. He would stay here in a heartbeat if Nick asked; he can take photos anywhere and his muse is sitting before him. So what if he’ll make his mom mad? She abandoned him a long time ago.
“I think you should go.” Nick blurts out and Boston freezes.
“You…want me to go?” This is not how he expected Nick to react.
Nick is worrying at his lower lip. “I love you Boston, I love you so much.”
“I love you too.” Boston doesn’t even flinch at the desperation in his voice.
“And I wish that was enough for me.” Tears well in Nick’s eyes. “I know how much you love me, I really do, but you weren’t built for just one person.”
“I-”
Nick keeps talking. “I’m not judging you and I’m not mad but the truth is I want monogamy from a relationship and that’s something you can’t give me, no matter how much you love me. And I think…it would be best if we make a clean break of it. We can’t keep going on the way we have been and we need to find a way to stay apart.”
Boston’s heart is beating hard against his chest. “No, Nick please I love you, I can change-”
“No, baby you can’t and I don’t want to try and force you. But we both need to realize that love doesn’t change how unhealthy this relationship is. I think the best thing for both of us is to end things.”
Nick’s tears finally spill over and Boston feels his own tears well as he wipes away Nick’s tears. “I don’t think I can stop being with you. I can’t leave you. Nick please you are the most important thing in the world to me.”
Nick’s face crumbles just a little. “Please Boston, if you love me I need you to let me go. I can’t keep doing this anymore.”
Boston feels that desperation again as he surges forward and kisses Nick. It’s sloppy and messy and wet and when Boston pulls away Nick starts crying for real. Boston wants to argue, wants to fight, he can’t just leave Nick. But the sight of Nick crying and in pain hurts more than the idea of leaving Nick for New York.
“Okay…” Boston kisses Nick again. “If that’s what you want.”
Nick collapses forward and cries against Boston’s chest. “I’m sorry, I love you, but this is what we have to do.”
Boston hums and runs his hand through Nick’s hair as Nick works through what he has too. Boston feels a few tears run down his cheeks and he brushes them away. “I don’t leave until this summer. Can we stay together, until then?”
Nick pulls back, face blotchy and tear stained. “Yes, yes we can.”