Friends With Benefits For Idiots

Jim exchanged goodbyes with Chancellor Iryk and avoided looking towards his daughter.  He then notified Scotty that they were ready to be beamed aboard. Jim smiled at being back on his ship and went to leave when Bones grabbed his arm.

“Where were you this morning?” Bones asked him.

Cuddling with Spock, Jim thought. “Around.”

“Around? In an unknown environment? Jim…”

“Bones, you’re such a worry wort. I’m fine. You and Spock found me.”

“I thought you had left with the Chancellor’s daughter,” Uhura spoke up, crossing her arms and giving Jim a look.

“No, I was with her,” Pavel said with a big grin. “She was wery, wery enthusiastic in the bedroom.”

“I didn’t need to know that,” Uhura said, shaking her head and leaving.

Pavel merely shrugged before following her out of the transporter room.

Jim chuckled then looked to Bones. “What were you and Spock doing together this morning?”

“What?” Bones asked, slightly shocked.

“Captain,” Spock started but Jim shook his head.

“You two were walking around together very early this morning looking for me. As your commanding officer, I should be made aware of such relationships.”

Bones’ face got red as Spock blinked at Jim.

“You know damn well I’m not the one interested in the hobgoblin,” Bones fussed before storming out of the room. 

Jim laughed at his friend then laughed harder when he saw Spock’s slightly shocked expression. 

“Captain,” Spock said. “You are illogical.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jim replied before slapping Spock on the arm.  “I just couldn’t help myself. 3D chess later?”

Spock nodded.

Jim laid on his stomach and basked in the afterglow as Spock pulled out of him and laid down next to him.

“We’re very good friends with benefits,” Jim commented with a smile. He wrapped his arms around his pillow and turned his head towards Spock.

“Indeed,” Spock agreed, turning his head to look at Jim. He moved one of his hands to Jim’s back and lightly ran his knuckles up and down.

Jim closed his eyes and felt content.

“Jim?”

“Hmm?”

“We will be on route to New Vulcan soon.”

“Yep.”

“On the way we will be stopping at a starbase that is known for its clubs.”

Jim opened his eyes. “I know.  What’s your point?”

Spock removed his hand from Jim and turned onto his side, facing Jim. “I know you enjoy in your leisure time with Leonard and some of the crew at such clubs, however, I ask that…you do not request that we engage in a threesome again.”

Couldn’t agree more, my lovely Vulcan. “Sure, Spock. They’re really not all that fun anyway. Someone always gets left out a bit.  In fact, how about we hang out on the base. Together. I mean there’s a movie theater and I’m sure there will be no sneezing kids.”

Spock nodded. “That is acceptable.  I also need to peruse the shops for a gift for my parents.”

Such a cutie. “I should get Selik something or Buster.”

Spock arched a brow. “Buster?”

“Selik’s sehlat cub.”

Spock raised another brow. “He has a sehlat cub…named Buster.”

Jim chuckled. “He said he didn’t name him, but yeah, his sehlat cub’s name is Buster.”

“I see.  I doubt that the shops would have a suitable gift for Buster.”

“Then I’ll just get Spock Prime something.”

“Cease referring to him as Spock Prime.”

“But he is Spock Prime,” Jim smiled at Spock.

“He is not me.”

Jim stuck his tongue out at him before turning over with his back towards Spock. “Anyway, we’ll shop then catch a movie when we get to the starbase.”

“Acceptable,” Spock said before cuddling up behind Jim and wrapping his arms around him.

“Night, Spock.”

“Goodnight, Jim.”

A few days before they were to reach the starbase, Jim laid on Bones’ bed and waited for his friend to come out of the bathroom.  He looked towards the door as it opened and smirked at the sight.

“A tuxedo, Bones?”

Bones looked down to himself and groaned before going to his closet. “Yeah, I thought it was too much.”

“What’s with you and wanting my opinion on clothes? Can’t you ask Carol?”

Bones shook his head and kept looking through his closet.

“Bones.”

Bones shook his head again.

“Leonard Horacio McCoy.”

Bones sighed and turned to his friend. “Don’t full name me, James Tiberius Kirk.”

Jim smiled. “Fine.  Just tell me why you’re making a big deal about the upcoming night off on the starbase?”

Bones fiddled with the ends of his tux jacket before walking over to the bed and sitting down. “I think…Carol…may want a proposal.”

Jim sat up next to Bones. “Oh wow.  What makes you think that?”

“She’s been acting a little off lately.”

“I’ve been acting a little off lately, doesn’t mean I want someone to propose,” Jim told him. That person should tell me that they love me first.

“You have been,” Bones said, looking to Jim. “Explain.”

“I um…no, we’re talking about you and Carol, not me and Spock.”

Bones’ eyebrows went up as Jim’s eyes widened.

“That’s not…I mean…I didn’t mean to say me and Spock because there is definitely not a me and Spock.” Jim then went to get off the bed but Bones tried stopping him. Jim struggled and they both toppled to the ground with Bones on top.  Jim tried to get away but Bones pinned his arms above his head and straddle his chest.

“Bones…”

“Nope, spill the beans kid.”

“Never,” Jim told him before overpowering his friend. Jim flipped them over then tried to crawl away towards the door but Bones reached a hand out and grabbed Jim’s pants, pulling them down to reveal Jim’s bare butt.

Jim groaned as Bones made a distressed sound. “There’s a bite mark on your ass!”

“Nuh-uh!” Jim quickly said, pulling his pants up and standing up.  Bones got us as well and rushed to stand in front of his door before Jim could get there.

“That was a bite mark, Jim. On your butt,” Bones then paused, realization appearing in his eyes. “Oh my god.  You’re sleeping with the hobgoblin.”

Jim looked away and nodded.

“You told him you love him and now you’re together?”

Jim made a face and shook his head.

“Jim?”

Jim sighed and looked to his friend. “We…sort of…have a friends with benefits thing going on.”

Bones blinked then walked over to Jim and slapped him upside the head.

“Ow and yes I deserved that,” Jim said, rubbing his head.

“You didn’t but I didn’t know what else to do. Dammit, Jim, are you out of your mind?  You love him and these things never work out!”

“I know, but…its nice being with him anyway I can be.”

“Tell him you love him.”

Jim shook his head. “He doesn’t love me so why bother.  We have sex, we both like it, so why can’t we just continue doing that?”

“Well jeez, Jim, I don’t know, how about because you LOVE HIM!”  Bones then groaned and went over to his dresser and opened the button drawer.  He pulled out a bottle, opened it and took a swig. 

Jim watched him then reached a hand out for a swig himself but Bones shook his head.

“Nope, I need this because my best friend is an idiot who drives me to drink.”

“Bones…”

“Tell him or else you’re going to get hurt, Jim.”

“I will. I will,” Jim said.  “Look, let’s get back to your issue here. You sure you’re ready to get married again?”

Bones took another swig then sat down on his bed. “No. I don’t know. Maybe.”

Jim sat beside him and put his arm around his friend’s shoulders.  “Talk to her before you propose anything.”

“I will.  We’re going to have a nice dinner at the base.”

“Wait to see what she has to say before doing anything stupid.”

Bones nodded then turned his head to look at Jim. “You weren’t by any chance…in bed with Spock that morning on Pavaxis  III, were you?”

Jim’s cheeks tinted red. “Um…maybe.”

Bones looked away then downed the rest of his bottle.

Tell Spock you love him, Jim told himself as he and Spock walked around the starbase. They had had dinner and seen a short movie that Jim thought was hilarious but Spock found illogical.  C’mon, you can do it! Three little words.

“So what do you want to get for your parents,” Jim said instead. Dammit!

“I do not know.  There is an antique store nearby,” Spock replied.

“Antiques are good. I’m sure we’ll find something for them there.”

Spock nodded then placed a hand to the small of Jim’s back and led him to the store. 

That feels nice, Jim thought, leaning slightly back into Spock’s hand. 

Jim smiled as he watched Spock pick up something called a soup tureen and look it over. It was mostly white with some beautifully painted light red floral designs.

“That’s pretty,” Jim said.

“Indeed,” Spock replied before setting it down carefully on the table.  “My mother had one similar.”

“What happen…nevermind.”

Spock glanced to Jim and nodded as the store clerk walked over to them.  Spock told him he’d like to purchase the tureen and the matching ladle.  The woman nodded then motioned for Spock to pick up the tureen and follow her to the front of the store. 

While Spock went to purchase his gift for his mother, Jim looked around some more.  He had already found a couple old books he thought Selik would like but he still hadn’t found a gift for Amanda.  He continued to browse the store before an item on a shelf caught his eye.

Jim grinned as he walked over and looked at it.  “Perfect.”

He grabbed it up then headed for the counter where Spock was waiting. As he got closer, he found another picture frame that he thought Sarek would like and grabbed that as well.

Jim kept his grin as he placed the books down as well as the picture frames he’d found. One had ‘Momma’s Boy’ engraved on it while the other said ‘Father and Son’. 

“No,” Spock said, trying to grab the frames but Jim swatted his hand away.

“Yes,” Jim told him as he paid for his items. “Your mother is going to love it and I think your dad too.”

Spock looked away and made an illogical expression while the tips of his ears tinting green slightly,

He has the cutest grumpiest expression, Jim thought as he smiled at Spock before grabbing his bag of gifts and leaving the store.

As they were heading back towards the ship to go play chess they ran into Carol and Bones. 

“Well if it isn’t the happy couple,” Jim said when he saw how happy they looked with their arms linked together.

“Hello, Jim,” Carol said then nodded to Spock. “Mr. Spock.”

Spock nodded back but didn’t reply. You are with Leonard, stay away from my t’hy’la.

“Where are ya’ll headed?” Bones asked.

“Back to the Enterprise to play chess and put away these gifts,” Jim told them, holding up the bag he was holding.

“Why don’t you come to the club with us? We were going to meet up with Sulu and the gang for a couple drinks.”

No, Spock thought as Jim shrugged.

“I don’t know,” Jim said. “Spock doesn’t drink.”

“Well then you come, Jim.  The captain could use a night out,” Carol suggested.

Spock narrowed his eyes at Carol before looking back to Jim. 

“I guess a couple drinks wouldn’t be so bad,” Jim nodded before looking to Spock. “Want to join us?”

Spock shook his head then took Jim’s bag from him. “No thank you.” I do not want to see you drink then flirt with others. “I will place your bag in your room then retire for the night to mediate.”

“Oh. Oh okay,” Jim smiled slightly.  “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Indeed,” Spock responded before turning and leaving.

Jim stared at the shot glass that Bones had set down in front of him.

“So did you tell the hobgoblin?” Bones asked.

I don’t want this, Jim thought. I want to be with Spock. “Not yet, but I will soon.  What did Carol want to talk about?”

“Nothing, she just wanted to say that she loves me.”

Jim smiled. “That’s great.  So no marriage any time soon?”

“We discussed that too and no, neither of us are ready for that for a long time.”

Jim nodded. Wonder if Spock wants to get married.

“You’re not here are you, Jim?” Bones questioned, nudging Jim’s shoulder.

“Nah. Kind of wanted to hang with Spock.”

“Then go. Go play with your hobgoblin,” Bones told him. “And tell him you love him.”

Jim chuckled.  “I’ll see you later.  Tell the crew not to get too drunk.”

“Yeah, yeah, just go already.”

When Jim boarded his ship he quickly headed towards Spock’s quarters.  He turned a corner then quickly stepped back before peeking into the hallway. Spock and Uhura were standing at her door.  Uhura was wearing a night gown while Spock was still in his civilian clothes. Jim watched them speak for a moment before they entered her quarters and shut the door.

Mediation my ass, Jim thought sadly.  Why would he lie? Is he bored with me? Does he still like her?  Jim then shook his head before continuing on to his own quarters.  

“Spock, you are an idiot,” Uhura fussed at her friend.

“I am aware,” Spock agreed. They were sitting on her couch after Spock had just informed her that he and Jim’s relationship change had been to a friends with benefits situation.

“Those things never work out, Spock.  Something always happens and it gets awkward and ruins relationships.”

“I do not want our relationship ruined.”

“Then you should’ve told him that you love him instead of ‘let’s just have sex no feelings involved’.”

“I am…afraid that he does not return my regard.  He wished to engage in a threesome with me and Chancellor Iryk’s daughter when we were on Pavaxi III.”

“Wow.  Did you?”

Spock shook his head. “I told her to leave when Jim went into the bathroom.  Nothing occurred between the three of us.”

“Did you and Jim?”

“Yes. In the morning Leonard nearly caught us in bed.”

Uhura looked away then sighed. “Just tell him that you love him.”

“I do not believe…”

“Spock, he does,” Uhura said looking to her friend. “You both are idiots. I don’t know why he wanted to have a threesome, but I know he loves you. Just talk to him!”

Spock nodded. “Talk to him.”

“Yes.”

“That is…logical.”

Uhura rolled her eyes. “No shit. Now leave because Scotty will be here any minute and we want to be alone.”

Spock arched a brow but nodded and left.

Jim ignored Spock the next day; busying himself with getting reading to arrive at New Vulcan.  

 The day after that, they were several hours out from their destination when Jim finished his shift and headed for the turbolift.  He entered with Chekov and Spock and quietly pressed the button to where he needed to go.

“Captain?”

Jim didn’t look to Spock as he answered. “Yes, Commander?”

“Would you care for a game of chess later?”

“No, thank you.” Why did you lie about mediating?

“3D chess?”

“Not in the mood for that either,” Jim told him. Can’t play chess while I think you and Uhura may be getting back together. Wait…isn’t she and Scotty together?

“Keptin, would you care to join me and Hikaru to play wideo games in his quarters? We have an extra controller.” Chekov asked.

Jim looked to the young Russian and smiled. “No, thanks, Pavel. I want to sleep for a bit before our arrival at New Vulcan.”

Chekov smiled back. “Another time zen, Keptin?”

Jim nodded. “Yes, another time.”

The turbolift’s doors opened then Pavel left, waving to the Captain as he went.  Jim chuckled then pressed the button to go to where he needed.

Jim was aware of Spock’s staring and finally turned his attention to the Vulcan. “Yes, Mr. Spock.”

“Nothing Captain,” Spock said, his expression even more closed off than usual.  The doors opened and Jim made to leave but was stopped by Spock grabbed his arm.  Jim looked to him and arched a brow. Spock released his arm.

“Jim, I would like a moment of your time soon to discuss something important.”

Here comes the break-up of our arrangement. “Um can it wait until after New Vulcan?”

Spock hesitated for a moment before saying, “Yes, Captain. It can wait.”

Jim nodded then exited the turbolift and walked away.  He entered his quarters and waited for the door to shup behind him before leaning against his door.  He closed his eyes and clenched his fists. “Its okay, Jim. He doesn’t love you so you gotta stop loving him.”  I can’t do that though.

Spock went down to his labs and gathered up the research he’d been doing over the past few months.  He wished to show his father and the VSA. 

He sat down on a stool in front of a lab table and internally sighed.

I wished to tell Jim my feelings before New Vulcan.  Perhaps it would be best to wait…get my parent’s approval to enter into a relationship with Jim.  Mother likes Jim so I believe she would approve. Father…he married mother because he loves her so he should be accepting of my love for Jim.

Jim does seem cross with me for some reason though.