Satellite

“Wow, Kiyoko,” Suga said before his throat went dry. He held Kiyoko’s phone in his hand and looked over a selfie of her and Yachi from Noya and Tanaka’s party. He saw Kiyoko enough that, by then, it shouldn’t have been an issue, but he was always a little taken aback by the force and serenity of her beauty.

Kiyoko smiled and pulled her phone away to find another picture. The smile stayed on her face and Suga watched her scroll through her phone. While she was scrolling, the door to the café jingled and Kiyoko looked up.

Suga turned around to wave as Hinata approached the counter. He checked the time on his phone and was surprised by his timeliness. Hinata must’ve sprinted from the building where his Wednesday classes were held.

“Hi Hinata,” Kiyoko said warmly. She addressed Suga. “Anyone else joining you two?”

Suga shook his head. “Just us right now. Daichi is going over some instrument stuff with Noya and Tanaka before this weekend. Asahi will be meeting us later to finalize the set list and sort out who will sing what,” he stopped himself. “I’m so sorry. This is probably boring you.”

She looked between Suga and Hinata. “Not at all. We’re excited to see you guys this weekend,” she pointed to their community board by the door and, sure enough, there was a huge poster tacked up over the ads for pet-sitters, gallery openings, and apartment listings. Suga held his hands over his heart to try to keep it from jumping out of his chest.

Hinata stared at the poster for a solid minute before turning to Kiyoko with wide, glittering eyes. “That poster is amazing! Did Yachi draw it? She showed me some of her drawings once and she’s super good.”

Kiyoko nodded and a slight blush colored her cheeks. “You want your usual? Are you staying or taking off?”

Suga told her they would be staying and Kiyoko started working on their drinks. Once they were all set, they took their drinks to their usual couch. Suga watched Hinata happily sip his smoothie and grab papers from his backpack.

They only worked for a little while before the conversation strayed.

“It’s not that I don’t like him,” Hinata said mostly to himself. He played with a hole in his jeans before throwing his hands up in the air and letting them fall back on his lap. “I don’t know!”

“It’s okay to be confused. Do you think the space is helping?” Suga said gently.

“Yeah. It just sucks. We’ll all be okay for the show, right?”

After the The Kiss, Suga had to rearrange all the schedules so that Hinata and Kageyama could both get practice with the rest of the band but stay clear of each other. It had worked out nicely; Asahi sung when Hinata wasn’t around and Daichi played guitar when Kageyama couldn’t be there.

Since then, Suga spent very little time with Daichi and, if he were honest, Suga was thankful. Like Kageyama, he needed time to figure out exactly how he wanted to approach their talk after the show. It had to be perfect. Daichi deserved nothing less.

Suga watched Hinata scribble some words down on a stray piece of paper and pretended to read them over his shoulder. Hinata focused so hard on music that he seemed to forget about his surroundings. He crossed out a word and furrowed his brow.

“You know, it’s a shame that your way with words hasn’t rubbed off on Kageyama yet,” Suga joked.

Hinata giggled and continued to work. He stuck his tongue out a little and tapped his pen against his cheek. When Asahi got there, they could go over lyrics, but Suga wanted to find out a little more about what was going on in Hinata’s head.

Suga cleared his throat and leaned back into the couch. “You know, I’m pretty sure Kageyama followed you around when you busked because he had a big crush on you and didn’t know what to do about it,” Suga folded his hands in his lap. “He seems to prefer action over words.”

Finally, Hinata put his pen down and cocked his head at Suga. “You think he had a crush on me? Really?”

“Really,” Suga perked up.

Hinata screwed up his face like he was thinking. “I knew he was talented, and awesome, and the first time I ever heard him play, I wanted to play with him, too, but he was just so grumpy and quiet that I figured he’d just growl at me or something.”

Suga laughed. “He’s really come a long way in a short amount of time, though, don’t you think?”

Hinata nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah!”

“I’m pretty sure that’s because of you,” Suga added.

“But everyone else is so cool! How could he not be awesome around them?” Hinata said seriously.

Suga reached over to ruffle his hair. “Everyone IS cool, but I think you’re the biggest influence on him.”

Hinata sighed. “Maybe. UGH!” Hinata flopped back into the couch. “I want this to be real and I can’t know if it is if Kageyama doesn’t SAY anything.”

“Hypothetical question, then. How would you feel about a public confession?” Suga asked as innocently as he could manage.

“Whaaaaa?”

Suga played with the hem of his shirt. “Oh, like, if someone wrote you a song and performed live.”

“That would be the BEST!” Hinata shouted as he leapt off of the couch with both hands in the air. He pulled them into his chest and bounced on his heels. Suga grabbed his arm and pulled him back to the couch.

“Glad to hear it,” Suga said with a smile.

While Hinata gushed about the idea that someone might write a song about him someday, Asahi came into the café and waved at Suga and Hinata from the door. Hinata got off the couch again to meet him halfway and walked him back to where Suga was sitting. He babbled about confessions and songs and Asahi tried to follow his words and his hands but had a hard time.

Suga tried to help. “I just asked Hinata how he would feel if someone wrote a song for him. You know, a real confession.”

“Oh, cool. Yeah, there’s nothing like it,” Asahi said with little smile.

“You would know?” Suga squinted at him.

“Like you would?” Asahi asked. He blinked at Suga. Hinata looked at Suga and waited for his response with bated breath.

Suga laughed. “Alright, you two. Less gossip and more work. Let’s get started so that Hinata can get to Noya and Tanaka’s in time to practice with actual instruments.”

Hinata cheered. Suga brought out his laptop and they worked right up until Hinata had to run out of the café to catch the bus.

Asahi said something, but Suga didn’t catch it. He was so focused on running through the next day’s schedule in his head that everything else faded away. He would wake up, make sure everyone knew where they were supposed to be, meet Oikawa for the final time, leave, and never think about again. Asahi had to poke him in the shoulder to get his attention.

“You okay?”

Suga jumped. “Yeah, totally fine,” he reassured. Asahi’s stomach growled and Suga checked the time. “It’s getting late! How about I cook you dinner and we catch up, hm?”

Asahi smiled wide and they cleaned up the table. Suga wrapped an arm around Asahi’s waist and they made their way up to Suga’s apartment.

The next afternoon, before Suga had to leave to get to Oikawa’s, Asahi called him to let him know that something had come up at school and he wouldn’t be able to help Daichi with transportation. Suga tried to get in touch with Daichi, but couldn’t get a hold of him. Before he could think anything of it, his phone buzzed with a text to let him know his cab was outside the building. Suga packed his bag, grabbed his personal phone as well as his work phone, and left the apartment.

Suga let himself into Oikawa’s suite and headed straight for the bedroom. He closed the blinds to shut out the afternoon sun, showered, and waited for Oikawa to show up. Luckily, it wasn’t long before he sauntered into the suite and poked his head into the bedroom.

Once cursory greetings were exchanged, Oikawa told Suga to start the timer. Suga let out a sigh of relief. Oikawa wasn’t in the mood for small talk and neither was he. Only a couple more hours and he was free.

Thirty minutes into their time, though, Oikawa paused. Suga peered over his shoulder to see what had made Oikawa stop.

When he looked, Oikawa was staring at the bedroom door behind him, which was closed.

“Anything wrong?” Suga asked.

Oikawa, still turned toward the door, hummed in thought. Suga attempted to shift, but Oikawa kept him in place.

“Something I can do?” Suga tried again.

This time, Oikawa shook his head and turned back to Suga. He leaned forward and put his arms on either side of Suga’s shoulders. He bit down on Suga’s neck and thrust back into Suga so forcefully that he gasped for air.

Suga tried his best to steady himself, but the next thrust never came. He heard the door to the bedroom swing open.

“Oh FUCK NO.”

Time seemed to slow down and, before Suga could react, Oikawa was torn off his back.

Suga grabbed the sheets from the side of the bed to hug them to his body as he flipped to see what was going on behind him.

“Iwa-chan!”

Iwaizumi and Oikawa stood facing each other. Oikawa, despite, being completely naked, didn’t budge, so Iwaizumi reached into the dresser and pulled out a pair of boxers and a shirt. He threw them at Oikawa and watched him dress. They never broke eye contact.

Once he was minimally dressed, Oikawa brushed invisible wrinkles out of the shirt. Suga’s heart was racing and he felt like he might throw up, but Oikawa seemed calm, like this was nothing out of the ordinary. His only tell was that his hands were shaking slightly.

“Iwa-chan, you surprised me,” Oikawa said in a small voice.

Iwaizumi shook his head and rubbed his face. “Are you paying him?” he asked in a curt voice, ignoring Oikawa’s comment entirely.

Oikawa tried to smooth his hair, but his trembling hands didn’t obey. He ended up just putting his hands on his hips to try to steady them. Oikawa huffed, but didn’t say anything, and Iwaizumi stepped right up to him.

“Why?” Iwaizumi searched Oikawa’s face and Suga could tell that he didn’t find what he was looking for in Oikawa’s eyes.

“Iwa-chan, let’s not talk about this here, hm?” Oikawa cocked his head toward Suga.

Iwaizumi clenched his fists and his face turned to stone. “I don’t give a fuck who’s here!” he shouted.

Oikawa tried to say something else, but Iwaizumi interrupted him. “Why Shittykawa? Hm? Am I not good enough for the king of the Court? I offered you everything! All of me! Damnit!”

“Don’t shout,” Oikawa tried to grab Iwaizumi’s arm, but he pulled away.

“Why not? Huh? Afraid someone else will find you here? God, Oikawa, I love you! I fucking know you love me too!”

Oikawa’s entire body tensed. Suga’s mortification ebbed in favor of morbid curiosity and he pulled the sheets closer to his body. He almost didn’t catch Oikawa’s next words, he said them so softly.

“Wrong, wrong, wrong, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa laughed sadly. “It’s me who doesn’t deserve you.”

Suga watched the muscles in Iwaizumi’s shoulders relax and he reached up to cup Oikawa’s cheek in his palm. They put their foreheads together and whispered.

Suga itched to get back into his clothes, run away, and never look back. Oikawa and Iwaizumi had moved closer toward the door, so Suga had a clear shot of his things. He inched his way to the side of the bed, got up slowly as to not disturb the other two, and reached for his bag. His personal phone slipped out and Suga noticed he had a couple texts from Daichi. He opened them up to read them quickly before he got dressed.

From: Daichi
So sorry I missed you! Ennoshita called me in a panic about some donor, so I had to go into work. Asahi didn’t have to work after all, so everything kind of worked out.

The next text was more recent, sent just a half hour ago.

From: Daichi
Hey! Crazy story. After the party last weekend, I tried getting in touch with Iwaizumi to get some advice and he just got back to me. Apparently he’s in town to surprise Oikawa? Gonna meet him at Oikawa’s hotel and ask them for pointers. I’ll let you know how it goes!

No.

No no no no no.

He moved to get his clothes, but it was too late. There was another voice from the door.

“The room was open, so I,” Daichi stopped mid sentence. “Suga?”

Suga closed his eyes and clung to the sheet wrapped around his body. Iwaizumi looked at Suga and his mouth fell open, like he had just recognized him. Oikawa, however, didn’t hide his amusement. He smirked and looked between the two of them with eyebrows raised high on his forehead.

Suga looked down at his body, the sheet wrapped around his shoulders. He looked at Oikawa in his boxers and undershirt. Any words he might’ve had died in his throat, trampled to death by his racing heart.

“Shit,” Iwaizumi muttered.

Daichi stayed in the door and looked from Suga to Oikawa, and then back to Suga. Suga had seen people look at him like he was garbage, with apathy like he was nothing, with rage like he was the one that was responsible for all the evil in the world, but he had never once seen anyone look at him the way Daichi looked at him now, with sadness and defeat, like the sun had shone for the very last time and the world would never know light again.

“Suga, what’s going on?” Daichi asked.

Oikawa cleared his throat to speak but, before he could, Iwaizumi hit him upside the back of the head.

“Get some pants, Shitty-kawa. We’re waiting out in the hall.”

“But this is my room!” Oikawa threatened to throw a temper tantrum but one look from Iwaizumi was enough to make him open the dresser, grab a pair of pants, put them on, and follow him out of the room. Iwaizumi grabbed Daichi’s shoulder, but Daichi didn’t acknowledge him.

Once they were out and the door to the hotel room closed, Daichi stepped into the bedroom. He put a hand to his mouth as he looked around the room, at Suga’s clothes folded up on a chair, the small bottle on the nightstand, the condom wrapper on the floor.

“When you said you couldn’t, was this?” Daichi’s voice caught in his throat and he put a hand on the dresser and leaned into it. “Do you love him?” He croaked.

Suga swallowed hard. “No, Daichi, no. This isn’t what you think,” he tried to explain.

Daichi looked at the marks on Suga’s shoulders and he tried to cover them with the hand that wasn’t holding up the sheet. “What is it then?” he asked, voice heavy with heartbreak.

This wasn’t supposed to be how it went, but Suga straightened up. He had no other choice. “This means nothing,” Suga said with emphasis. He took a deep breath. “Daichi, can I tell you something?”

Daichi looked at him and nodded.

“Do you know what I did for all those years? How I paid back my student loans?” Suga took another deep breath. “I’m a sex worker. I was, for a long time. I - people paid to have sex with me. And I stopped! I moved back here because I didn’t want that life anymore. But then I lost my job and I didn’t know what to do.” Suga wrung his hands and looked at the carpet beneath his feet.

When Suga looked up, Daichi had taken a couple steps closer. He reached out for Suga’s face, and Suga leaned in, but Daichi dropped his hands before they made contact. Suga tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Daichi asked.

“I was stupid. So, so stupid.” Suga hugged his arms across his chest.

“All this time, Suga, I could’ve helped...” Daichi trailed off.

Suga tried to keep back the tears, but they streamed down his face and dripped onto his chest. “Everything was so perfect, you are so perfect. Other guys left me, Daichi, I didn’t want to lose you. I couldn’t.”

Daichi looked at him and scrunched his face to quell his own tears. He took a step back. “You didn’t trust me. You trusted Oikawa, but not me?”

“What? No,” Suga took a step forward in an attempt to close the distance between them but Daichi held out his hands in front of him to stop Suga from advancing.

“All this time, but we were a team. I though. I told you I loved you, I love you, Suga, and you still couldn’t be honest with me?” Daichi brought his hands up to pinch the bridge of his nose.

Suga’s knees threatened to give out from under him. “I’m so sorry, Daichi. Can we talk? Can we meet somewhere? I’ll tell you everything, anything. We’ll get it all out. We’ll work through it. I’ll just get dressed - “

“No,” Daichi said sharply.

“Daichi?” Suga whimpered.

“I need some time to think.”

Suga smiled. “Definitely, yes. Anything.” He tried again to get closer to Daichi. He held out his hand for Daichi to take, like Daichi had done a thousand times for him, but, instead of taking it, Daichi winced. His arms hung limply at his sides.

“Time away from you.” Daichi looked at him one more time, wiped the tears off his face, and left the room without another word.

Suga clasped his hand over his mouth to stifle a sob. The door to the hotel room opened and shut and Suga’s knees finally gave out. He moved backward to find the bed and sat down. If the walls around him started to crumble, if pieces of the ceiling fell down around him, he wouldn’t have noticed.

Soon, there was someone in the doorframe and Suga looked up only to see Oikawa looking at him with red eyes and a fake sneer.

“Tsk, tsk. The people you love always find out, Kou-chan,” Oikawa commented in a low, dangerous voice.

From the hall, Suga heard Iwaizumi shout, “Pay him and get back here. We’re not done.”

Oikawa nodded slowly and turned to Suga. “If that’s what Iwa-chan wants, that’s what Iwa-chan gets.” He dug around in a bag that he brought with him into the room and put an envelope on the top of the dresser. “Please shower and be out of here in fifteen minutes,” Oikawa said cooly. He turned and left the room.

Suga watched him leave, like he watched Daichi leave. He sat in the empty bedroom and looked around. There was no one left to blame.