Bruises and Bikini's
TRAVIS
We are sitting on the couch playing UNO and Calvin's hands are on her tits. I watched Taylor try to shrug him off but he wouldn't stop. He keeps kissing her neck and everyone is watching. Her face is bright red and my chest aches. I stare at my cards because I can't look at them anymore. He's such a dick and I can tell she's embarrassed.
It's my turn and I pick up without even looking at my cards. What Calvin said at dinner last night made me want to fucking bash his head in. Taylor looked so excited about dinner, her eyes were bright and she was doing a little happy dance. After he said it the light in her eyes died.
Fuck him.
And now he's touching her in the middle of fucking UNO. I think I'm either going to kill him or myself. It's 50/50 either way.
Taylor gets up abruptly and announces she needs to go the bathroom. Calvin sits there, oblivious. He's got a boner and I think I might throw up. Someone suggests we should go swimming instead and so we all get up.
I quickly walk in the direction that Taylor went and see her at the sink. I stay outside the door, and I'm behind her, on an angle so that she can't see me in the mirror. She's just standing there, looking at herself. A tear runs down her cheek and my whole body goes stiff. Now the odds have changed to 90/10 because there's a very good chance I'm going to murder Calvin.
I want to walk in and comfort her but my feet are glued to the floor. More tears fall and she hugs herself. After a moment she lifts up her shirt to right below her bra and turns to the side. She presses down on the base of her stomach and scrunches up her face. She pinches a bit of her skin and shakes her head, and now the odds are 100/0. There are no doubts about it, I am going to kill Calvin Harris.
I notice something else, though. On one side of her stomach there's a big, greeny-yellow mark. It looks like an old bruise. She pulls down her shirt and wipes at her eyes. Before I process what's happening she walks out of the bathroom and straight into me.
"Travis?" Her eyes go wide, "what are you doing?"
"Um, I- we are going swimming so I came to find you to tell you."
"Oh, thanks." she blinks quickly and fidgets with her bracelet. "I'll go get into my swim-suit, then."
"Yeah."
She walks past me and goes upstairs. I swallow and give it a minute or so before I head upstairs myself. As I'm walking to my room, Calvin steps out of his and Taylors room wearing blue swimming trunks.
"Hey, man." He says, and it takes everything in me not to strangle him.
"Hey." I say, and walk into my room. As I change I think of what I saw in the bathroom. Taylor was lifting up her shirt and pinching at her skin. That fucker last night probably made her think she looked fat. And she was crying too, why? Was it because of what Calvin was doing to her when she was playing UNO, or was it to do with the mark on her stomach. I don't understand, but I know that I hate Calvin with every part of me, and I want to give Taylor a hug until her sad eyes change to happy ones, and that mark goes away.
I hear Calvin's voice in the next room, and I strain to hear.
"Why? Why can't you do this one thing, Taylor? After all I've done for you?"
Taylor's voice is small, and I press my ear against to wall so I can hear.
"I really don't want to go swimming. I don't want to wear it."
"Give me one good reason why."
"You know why, Calvin." Her voice cracks as she says his name. I ball up my fists so that my fingernails dig into my palm.
"For fucks sake, Taylor. No one will even notice."
It goes silent and fear washes over me, until I hear her voice once more.
"Okay."
I hear a door open, and slam, and walk outside to see that Calvin is heading down the stairs. I think about knocking on Taylor's door to check up on her, then think better of it. I follow Calvin outside and sit on a pool chair. It's not like the pool chairs that Taylor and I sat on the night we met. These ones are scratchy, and dig into my back. I wish I could go back to that party from a few weeks ago, where I was just a dumb guy talking to a pretty girl. Now everything's so complicated and the pretty girl doesn't want to talk to the dumb guy anymore.
I hear the sliding door open, and Taylor walks out wearing a little black bikini. She's wrapped the towel around her, even though she hasn't swum yet. Gigi walks over to Taylor and tells her she looks stunning, or something. Taylor smiles but her eyes flicker over to Calvin uncomfortably. He's already in the pool with Nico, but he calls Taylor over. I jump up out of the chair and get in too. It's hot and the water is nice and cool.
Taylor and Gigi sit with their feet in, and one of the guys splashes them. They shriek and everyone laughs. Everyone except Taylor and me. We seem to be preoccupied. Taylor's eyes stay on Calvin, and mine on her. She's still got her towel wrapped around her, and she shivers, even though it's not cold.
I swim over despite my best efforts not to.
"Hey," I say, and she almost jumps.
"Heyy!" Gigi says, and lowers herself so she's sitting on the steps. Taylor doesn't say anything, but smiles. I smile back.
"This is the shallow end, right?"
"Yup," Gigi answers.
"Good, because I'm an awful swimmer. I'm gonna stay over here."
Taylor laughs a little. Or at least, I think it was a laugh. It was more of a short exhale out of her nose. I'm pretty sure it was a laugh. I don't know.
"Taylor, it's like boiling, take your towel off and get in the water!" Gigi says and pulls at Taylor's arm. Taylor's smile faulters and she looks uncomfortable. I don't know what to do, so I do nothing. Taylor reluctantly takes the towel off and it's now that I understand why she told Calvin she didn't want to swim.
Bruises cover her body like holes in a sponge. They're mostly on her back, which I see when she turns around to place her towel on a chair. Some dot her legs and arms, and there's that big one I saw on her stomach.
Holy fuck. She said she was clumsy but I don't think you get this many bruises from being uncoordinated.
"Woah, Tay." Gigi says, except she doesn't looked concerned like I am, more confused. "That's a fuck-ton of bruises."
Taylor nods and doesn't looked surprised. She was expecting this reaction. My heart aches. I just want to hold her and kiss it better.
"I'm so clumsy. I fell down the stairs a bit ago." Taylor looks around then adds, "it hurt like fuck."
Before anyone can say anything else, Calvin has swum over and pulled Taylor in the water. Taylor giggles and I cringe because it doesn't sound right. It sounds fake. I look over and Gigi's eyebrows are crinkled, and she's staring blankly and something in the distance.
"Are you sure, Tay? That's a lot of bruises."
"Yeah, I already told you. I'm clumsy. Why would I lie?" Taylor shoots back.
Gigi shrugs and looks a little taken aback by the slight anger in Taylor's words. I bet she has never seen Taylor angry, so the slightest cross undertone is surprising to her. I bet lots of people have never seen Taylor angry. She seems like the people-pleaser type.
I find myself swimming away from the shallow end, because I can't look at Taylor anymore. Every time I see her bruises I feel like I'm dying. Nobody is that clumsy.
Fuck. Fuck.