Sorry, Not Sorry
"Hey, Kirsch," Laura greeted with a forced smile.
"Hey, little Jedi bro," he answered with a grin. He gave a nod toward Carmilla. "Angry pilot." She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest in response.
"We're here to see Laf?" the blonde said in hopes that he was aware.
"Yeah, come on in. I've been waiting for ya," he waved them toward the door. "Senator Perry instructed me to watch over our Doctor bro while they do all their research," he informed over his shoulder. "We were in the quarantine sector yesterday. That place is insane!"
Laura frowned. "Is there really that many people kept in there?"
"More than I expected. It's totally sad too. There are so many families in there. Little kids too. It's messed up. And some people are losing their minds! It can get kinda violent," he said with a sigh as he led them into a small room that began a sort of suction when the door closed behind them. "No worries. Doctor bro told me this is to make sure nothing sketchy gets into the lab. Like germs and stuff." The opposite door opened after a few seconds, and they were led into the lab.
"Yo, Doc! The lovebirds are here!" Kirsch shouted, which caused both women to tense up.
"Excuse me?" Laura squeaked.
"Oh, sorry. That's just what Doctor LaFontaine calls you guys. It's habit," he chuckled.
The Jedi was pale with her heart falling down into her stomach. Carmilla frowned with her arms crossing tightly over her chest.
The two had yet to have a conversation about what happened. An hour ago, Carmilla approached her first.
The brunette waited by the medbay pretending to fiddle with something in the cabinets. She had a clear view of Laura's quarters and was waiting for any sign of life. Finally, the Jedi stepped out. Their eyes locked immediately. Carmilla had to force a swallow from the intensity of the stare. The blonde took a few steps closer.
"Laura-" Carmilla began weakly.
"We need to head to Laf's. Are you ready to go?" she asked sternly with furrowed brows.
The pilot took a deep breath and answered in her exhale. "Yeah."
It had been silence between them ever since.
"Hey, Laura! Carmilla! Long time, no see! Sorry about yesterday," they said as they took off their gloves and goggles. "Perry said you had a nice dinner. I mean, aside from snarky pants over there trying to bite Vordenburg's head off," they said with a nod toward Carmilla. "What the hell was that about?"
"Don't bother. She won't tell you," Laura answered sharply.
Carmilla turned to stare at her incredulously. "Maybe I want to tell them."
The blonde narrowed her honey eyes. "Go ahead then," she challenged.
"I can't with you here. You obviously don't know how to have a proper conversation," she shot back.
"Oh, and you do? Remember how you dealt with yesterday's conversation?" the Jedi clenched her fists.
Carmilla smirked bitterly. "Trust me, princess, I won't forget that for a long time."
"Do you have no shame whatsoever?" Laura continued to get riled up, and Carmilla could feel it. In fact, she loved it. The angrier she got, the more out of control she was. And Carmilla wanted that. She wanted her Jedi rule book to get flung out of the window. Ignoring what Laura felt was stupid. Pretending she didn't want to kiss Carmilla was stupid. And the pilot wanted her to see that; regardless of how morally awful that was.
"That would imply I did something wrong."
"You know what you did was wrong!"
Carmilla smirked in satisfaction. "Then how come you seemed to welcome it with open arms?"
"You're a pig-"
"Hey! Guys..." Laf interrupted awkwardly with Kirsch standing sheepish by their side. "Um, I would have quietly sneaked out, but there's a lot of really important stuff in here and I'm kinda afraid of what you might do to it."
Carmilla frowned and let her gaze settle anywhere else in the room. Laura took a deep breath with furrowed brows and focused on Laf. "What news do you have for us?"
"Great news, actually! Come here," they urged with a wave toward a screen on a table. Carmilla continued to pay attention to anything but the conversation; more fascinated with the walls.
Laura stared down at the screen as Laf pressed some buttons on the table. Unidentified blobs showed up on the screen.
"Okay, so this is basically what infected cells of the disease look like. Before I had you guys go get a terentatek sample, this is what my cure did." They pressed another button and a droplet appeared in the center of the mass of cells. It slowly began to dissolve the surrounding cells until suddenly it was overpowered and disappeared. Laf then swiped at the screen, bringing back the original image of the diseased cells.
"This is the cure adding the terentatek sample." Another drop appeared in the center of the mass, but instead of getting overpowered, it destroyed the cells.
"That's awesome, Laf! So what happened in the quarantine zone? Did you use it?" Laura asked eagerly.
"Yes, I did. But there was a slight problem. I didn't want to go overboard with the terentatek side of the ratio because they are, in fact, ridiculously poisonous. So I thought I calculated that any more of that in the cure would just end up killing the subject. I redid the numbers; looks like it needs a more powerful dose. When I used it on an infected individual, it showed immediate signs of relief, but it only lasted thirty to forty-five seconds. So I'm going back in there soon and trying an updated version."
"Okay, so we're close. That's great. Good job," Laura said with a smile.
"Yeah, I figured you'd like to see and know what's goin' on. I'll let you know when I finish up here and decide to head to quarantine," Laf explained.
"Sounds good," Laura responded before turning and heading toward the exit. "See ya, Kirsch."
"Later!" he called after her. Laura felt Carmilla hesitantly following behind her. They walked in silence until they exited the building. The Jedi then spun toward Carmilla, who was taken completely off guard.
"Did you really have to do that in front of Laf?!"
"Well with the way you were acting, it's like nothing happened. So I didn't see the big deal," she answered evenly.
"Oh please, you knew exactly what you were doing. Fine, you wanna talk about it? It was a mistake. There. I said it. Happy?"
The pilot stared back into fiery honey eyes. "You're exhausting, you know that?" Carmilla said before walking off.
"Excuse me? Hey! Where do you think you're going?" Laura called after her.
"For a walk. If you feel like you have to follow me, fine. But you're not gonna like where I'm headed," she called over her shoulder without stopping.
Laura clenched her jaw and frowned. She wasn't allowed to let her out of her sight. "I can just command you to stop, ya know. You're wearing the collar. I can shock you into submission."
Carmilla froze and turned back slightly. "Threats now? Really?"
"Well if you're gonna act like an asshole, then yeah."
"You know what? Whatever. Shock me. Do whatever you want. But until then, I'm gonna get a drink."
Laura glared at her retreating back. She could shock her and keep her where she wanted to. It would have been that simple. Who knows what she might end up doing? She could start a bar fight and end up killing someone. She was far from innocent. Keeping Carmilla on a leash wasn't a bad thing.
But yet, it was.
Carmilla wasn't a slave. Sure she was serving out her sentence, but Laura never intended on treating her poorly. She never intended on putting a collar on her. Plus, the pilot had proved numerous times that she deserved to be treated differently. Laura didn't want her to feel like a prisoner. But every time something came up, the Jedi used that reminder against Carmilla. It was a cheap blow.
Maybe they both deserved a break; a distraction. Maybe getting a drink wouldn't be such a horrible thing. Laura had no intention of having a drink with Carmilla though. Staying on the opposite side of the cantina would be close enough.
Carmilla led Laura into the cantina, and before the Jedi broke away from her, she spoke up.
"Carm," she said softer than expected.
The pilot paused and glanced back at her.
"Just don't do anything extreme, okay?" she asked in a tired tone.
"We'll see how I feel," she replied before turning back around and heading to the bar. Laura sighed before heading toward a booth in the back.
Carmilla didn't need a bond to be aware that the Jedi was watching her throughout their excursion. She felt her eyes on her from across the cantina. It filled the pilot with a sense of satisfaction. It was hard to find a moment when she wasn't thinking of the blonde and what transpired on the Lustig, so she felt better seeing that Laura might have been having the same issue.
The pilot may have also been putting on a show for the Jedi as she shamelessly flirted with another patron. It helped that the lady seemed quite touchy as well.
Across the cantina, Laura glared and grumbled into her cup of caf. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. Carmilla was doing this on purpose. Why else would she keep peeking up at her?
But then why did any of that matter? Laura couldn't care less about whatever or whoever the ruffian did. She was a Jedi. She was above such base instincts.
Her honey eyes glanced back toward Carmilla and noticed the other woman running an index finger along the pilot's jaw; the brunette smirking in response.
"Oh give me a break!" Laura exclaimed in disgust before movement from the entrance caught her eye.
Soldiers in similar garb to what she saw on Kashyyyk had walked in, clearly in search of something. The Jedi's eyes went wide as she slowly rose to her feet and cautiously made her way around the bar; her eyes never leaving the soldiers.
One soldier grabbed a patron by the collar, and seemingly interrogated him before tossing him aside and moving on. Two soldiers remained guarding the exit.
Finally, Laura reached Carmilla's booth. She tugged at the woman next to the brunette, who stumbled out of the booth to her feet.
"Hey!"
"She's got an STD," Laura informed before turning her back to her and facing the pilot.
Carmilla's mouth hung open as she watched the woman she was flirting with stomp away. She then glared at the Jedi, who was now sitting uncharacteristically close to her.
"Jealousy isn't a good look on you, princess."
"Well I'm sure a blaster shot to your face wouldn't be a good look on you either," she glared back.
"What are you even talking about?" she asked in annoyance as she reached for her drink.
"I'm pretty sure your mother has sent soldiers after you and they're currently in this cantina," Laura said urgently as she began to remove her Jedi robe.
Carmilla felt the panic rush through her. Her eyes darted around the cantina, but had yet to land on a soldier. It was too crowded. Then she registered what her booth mate was doing. Her eyebrow quirked up before looking back around the cantina.
"What are you doing?!" the pilot hissed.
Laura shoved her robe against Carmilla's chest. "Put it on."
"What?"
"Just do it!"
The brunette huffed as she hurriedly and awkwardly stood in the booth and adjusted to wrap the robe around her. Laura was keeping an eye out as Carmilla dressed. The blonde looked back at the pilot, who was also staring out into the cantina now.
"Put the hood on!" Laura hissed, which earned an irritated glare from the brunette. The Jedi huffed. "If we get approached, I'll just Force persuade them."
"Won't work. Mother trains her soldiers to be immune to mind control. Implants."
"Are you kidding me?" Laura replied with her voice hitting a higher pitch.
"Wish I was, cupcake," she answered as she spotted a soldier pushing his way through the crowd. "Fuck."
Their hearts were racing. Laura's eyes went to the pilot's dark ones. She was staring at the soldier; all hope quickly leaving her. Then, Laura grabbed onto the robe at Carmilla's chest and pulled her close.
Dark eyes stared back in confusion.
"Hold me close," Laura whispered with fiery honey eyes.
Carmilla swallowed hard before cupping the Jedi's neck with both hands and holding her face only a breaths width away.
Laura lifted her free hand to tug lightly at the hood, concealing Carmilla's face more before resting the hand on her shoulder. Her other hand still clutched to the robe at her chest.
The pilot had to force another swallow. Laura was too close. It was suffocating. It was painful in the most desirable way.
The Jedi then leaned her forehead against the brunette's; closing her eyes in hopes the soldier would pass by after seeing what looks like drunken foolery.
Carmilla bit her lip as she stared down at the soft lips in front of her. Her grip on Laura grew tighter; more possessive. But her thumbs began gently moving along the blonde's skin. She saw Laura's lips part slightly to release warm breath that hit her own lips. She felt Laura lean more against her forehead.
Carmilla's heart clenched at the gentle response to her touch. "I'm sorry."
Laura pulled away only enough to stare back at her. "What?" she breathed out.
"I'm sorry. For kissing you," the brunette said with vulnerable eyes. "You shot me down time and time again, and I still went for it. It was messed up. I'm sorry."
Laura's mouth hung slightly ajar. She then turned to scan the cantina, not knowing what to say. She then looked back at Carmilla who watched her with furrowed brows.
"I'm gonna go see if they're still here. Stay low," she instructed softly as she began to stand.
"But I'm not sure I wouldn't do it all over again."
Laura stalled, looking back at Carmilla dressed in her Jedi robe. Her dark stare was so powerful. The blonde's heart was already racing, but this drove it to a higher speed. She quickly pulled herself away; moving to see if they were safe yet.
The soldiers by the exit were gone. She decided to take a few laps around the cantina to see if there were any stragglers, while glancing back at Carmilla every few seconds to see if she was still safe.
When it seemed like the coast was clear, she let out a deep breath a headed back to Carmilla, who was finishing her drink.
"Okay. We're good. Let's get out of here."
The pilot didn't reply, but stood up and made her way out of the cantina with Laura trailing behind her. They began to walk back toward the Lustig, thinking it was a better idea to lay low for awhile.
Laura looked down at her body and frowned with a sigh.
"Problem, princess?" Carmilla asked lacking enthusiasm.
"I feel naked without my robe."
The brunette scoffed. "You and I have two very different definitions of the term 'naked'."
Laura glared. "Of course we do."
Carmilla rolled her eyes before pulling the robe open. "Here. You can have it back now."
"No!" the blonde rushed. "It's not safe yet."
The pilot stared at her curiously as they continued to walk. She then began to pull off the robe quickly.
"Hey! I told you to-"
"Yeah, yeah. I heard you. I'm not taking it off," Carmilla interrupted with a huff. She then flung something at Laura, which caused her to yelp. The Jedi looked down at it and then back at the pilot, who was avoiding her gaze.
"You want me to wear your vest?" she asked hesitantly as she held on tightly to the leather.
"You said you were naked. I'm being nice," she replied roughly without looking at her.
Laura frowned before pulling the article of clothing on. She adjusted it on her shoulders and a small smile came to her lips as she looked down at it.
"From cute to hot instantaneously," Carmilla commented, making Laura look over to see her smirk. The brunette was letting her eyes drink in Laura's new appearance. The Jedi then frowned and moved to stand in front of her companion, who came to a hard stop from the sudden interference.
"I'm not wearing it so you can just undress me with your eyes!"
"Then take it off for me," she answered slyly. "But maybe do it slowly. So I can really take it all in."
"Okay, stop. See? Right here. This isn't okay! And as far as that apology you gave me back there? What the hell was that?" she continued to exclaim with her arms flailing by her sides.
Carmilla's eyebrows were shot up toward her hairline. "Well, you just said what it was; an apology."
"Yeah, and then you said you would probably do it again! That's like saying, 'Sorry, not sorry.'!"
"I was letting you know that I knew what I did was wrong. I figured you'd be doing a happy dance of sorts from that."
"But you would still do it!"
Carmilla stretched her arms out by her sides. "I never said I was a good person!"
"But you're not a bad one either!"
The pilot rolled her eyes. "Ugh. Here we go again..." she mumbled as she began to walk around the Jedi.
"Why do you hate the idea of being good so much?" Laura asked as she began to walk after her.
Carmilla spun around. "Because it's not who I am! I might not be the shitty person that I used to be, but that doesn't mean I'm any good. It just means I'm less shitty."
Laura lifted her chin defiantly. "Well I don't believe that."
The brunette gave an incredulous chuckle. "It doesn't matter what you believe! Telling me I'm good doesn't change the facts. Like me in this holier than thou robe," she paused to yank at the fabric of the robe. "It doesn't change anything! It just hides it!" she finished in frustration.
The blonde frowned. "I'm sorry that I think you're better than what you think you are."
Carmilla narrowed her eyes as she stepped into Laura's space. "Oh, is that why you kissed me back? With the idea that I'm on the verge of redemption?" Laura's honey eyes stared back; challenging. "Or maybe you kissed me back because you craved a little badness for once," the pilot added devilishly.
"I think it's clear I kissed you because I'm an idiot," the Jedi growled as she brushed past Carmilla harshly.
"Idiot or not, you enjoyed it."
Laura spun back around. "You know what? Fine! I enjoyed it! For two seconds in my life, I gave in. I failed. And I failed even more because I wasted it on you," she spit out before twirling around and stomping away.
"Ho ho!" Carmilla cheered after her. She jogged up next to her. "Now you're just taking cheap shots, princess. And I might add, you seem to be getting quite angry," she addressed as she felt the rage through their bond.
"Well whose fault is that?!" she bit back.
There was a slight pause. "Is it weird that I'm incredibly turned on right now?"
Laura stared at her in awe. "How is it possible for someone to be this infuriating?!"
They were entering the hangar for the Lustig now. "I don't know. Maybe you should shut me up," Carmilla smirked to herself as she lowered the ramp to the ship.
"I'm above ruthless murder, remember?" the Jedi said in disgust.
"Oh, cupcake. We both know there are other ways to shut me up," she commented in amusement as they climbed the ramp.
"Yeah. I could knock you unconscious for awhile," she answered with a huff.
"That's kinda kinky," Carmilla grinned after her.
"I don't want to talk to you for awhile," Laura replied bitterly as she entered her quarters.
The pilot rolled her eyes and chuckled to herself as she continued down the hallway.
A thought came to Laura suddenly. "Wait. How do you think the Empress knows you're on Coruscant?" Laura asked with furrowed brows in the doorway to her room.
"She must have sensed me," the pilot answered with a shrug.
"But you have the collar on for the majority of the time. You haven't even used the Force once while we've been here."
Carmilla opened her mouth to say something and then paused. Laura saw her guilty face and let her shoulders slump.
"Seriously?"
"I was angry after you stormed off! It just kind of happened," the brunette defended.
"So it's my fault?"
"Oh my- Everything is a fucking battle with you! No, it's not your fault. I did this to myself. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go be anywhere but here. You're exhausting," she grumbled as she turned and left a now fuming Laura.
"Sorry, not sorry!" the Jedi yelled after her before groaning and heading into her quarters.