Light of the Moon

Laura tried to meditate for awhile. She calmed down a little, but thoughts of her irritating companion kept breaking through. She finally groaned and slumped down in her sitting position. She stared down at her lap with a heavy sigh before her eyes widened. And then she frowned. Seeing she was still wearing it, she roughly ripped off the leather vest. She had completely forgotten it was on her. After tossing it to the side, she flung her body back and laid down on the floor of her room.

Carmilla was a pain in the ass. The pilot repeatedly flirted, teased, insulted, brooded, and just generally disrespected her. And over and over again, Laura fell for it. She let the brunette get under her skin. It was aggravating.

But yet she didn't hate Carmilla. Maybe that's because she was trained and taught not to hate. But she definitely was allowed to not particularly like someone. And despite everything, Laura didn't dislike Carmilla. The Jedi empathized. From what the pilot had told her about her life, she was actually kind of in awe of the woman. She had been a slave since she was a child, then trained under a Sith Lord, and then on the run from said Sith Lord. Trying to imagine the many things the woman must have gone through was heart wrenching. And after all of that, Carmilla was able to make jokes; regardless of how inappropriate they were.

Laura couldn't lie. She was drawn to the ex-Dark Jedi. She could use the excuse of the bond, but she felt it before their fates were tethered together. Her company was oddly enjoyable despite the amount of times it ended in an argument. But even when they were fighting, it didn't feel wrong.

The Jedi frowned at that thought. How could fighting not feel wrong? They were at each other's throats and that was an okay thing? That didn't make any sense... Although their arguments never did end with Laura wanting her out of her life. She may feel like pouring a drink over the brunette's head, but that's as far as it would go.

And there was also still some mysteriousness about Carmilla. Why did the Empress want her so badly? What was Carmilla capable of doing that was so imperative? What happened to make Carmilla run away for good? Who was the person from the pilot's dream that her mother took from her? And what was Carmilla's connection to Vordenburg?

Laura took a deep breath before exhaling; puffing out her cheeks in the process. She got so upset when Laura tried to ask her about the Supreme Chancellor... which then led to the kissing.

The Jedi closed her eyes tightly. Kissing her was amazing. It felt like something erupted inside of her when their lips collided. The power of the feelings that took over was intoxicating. And the more she got lost in Carmilla, the stronger those feelings became.

Her eyebrows furrowed as she brought a hand to rub at her forehead. Her eyes opened and stared at the ceiling. Thinking about the make out session with Carmilla wasn't going to make anything better. But again, why was she so bothered about Vordenburg?

Laura reached up to her com link and pressed the button. "Call Danny," she commanded. After a few moments, the fellow Jedi answered.

"Hey, Hollis. What's up?"

"Are you busy right now? I wanted to ask you some things," she began without moving from her position on the floor.

"I can spare a few. How can I help?"

Laura's brows furrowed. "I know you've been meeting with Vordenburg for awhile now... How's that going by the way?"

A sigh came from the other end of the call. "Relatively the same. He's a stubborn man. Plus, he goes off on his stories too often to really get an appropriate conversation in. The Jedi Masters seem to understand my trouble with him though, so that's good. He likes to tell me I remind him of one of his daughters."

"He has kids?" she asked in surprise.

"Well not anymore, obviously."

Laura frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know... the thing with his estate?"

"No idea what you're talking about."

" You- You really don't know? Hollis, the Vordenburg Massacre is kinda legendary."

"Whoa. I have no idea what that is."

"Wow. Okay. Um, a little under a decade ago, his entire family was murdered at their private estate."

"What? Why?" Laura replied urgently as she sat straight up on the floor.

"No one knows. It's still a pretty big mystery. He was actually supposed to be there too, but an emergency Senate meeting called him in. The estate was somewhere untraceable too, so no one even knows how anyone found it."

"So his family was killed," Laura stated, trying to wrap her head around it.

"And extended family. He's the last of the Vordenburg line. Even the employees at the estate were slaughtered. They say it was a real blood bath."

"Wow... That's horrible," the blonde said quietly.

"Yeah. Although I heard some of his slaves weren't found at the estate. People speculate they were the ones responsible, but they were supposedly just kids. The things that happened there... It doesn't seem like they would have been capable of something like that."

"They never found the slaves?"

"No. They seemed to have vanished. But let's be honest, what law enforcement pays attention to the slave trade? They acknowledge them as objects. Differentiating them from each other would seem too personal. It's a messed up system."

"But doesn't Vordenburg want justice?"

"Yeah, but it's been so long now. What more can he do?"

Laura frowned and stared down into her lap. "That's so sad."

"Yeah... It is." Danny sighed. "Isn't there something you wanted to ask me?"

"Yeah, but you kinda answered it. I just wanted to know more about him."

"Hm, well I'm glad I could help. I gotta get back to work."

"Thanks, Danny."

"Anytime, Hollis."

Laura tapped the button of the com link and took another deep breath. None of that information really helped with why Carmilla was uncomfortable with him. Maybe she knew he was a slave owner? That kind of thing isn't really private knowledge. Maybe that alone was enough to upset her. That would make sense. But if that were the case, why wouldn't she just say that?

The Jedi pushed herself off of the floor and grabbed the vest. Finally leaving her quarters, she went in search of the pilot.

Carmilla was found laying on the floor under the switch panel in the cockpit. Rattling and sparks were heard from the hall. Laura stood looking down at her without being acknowledged. Her Jedi robe was hung nicely along the back of the pilot's seat.

"Can I help you with something, princess?"

Laura dropped the vest into the pilot seat and crossed her arms over her chest. "What are you doing?"

"I was just doing some maintenance checks and I heard something rumbling down here. I'm fixing it," she explained simply without bothering to look at Laura still.

"Look at you being all handy and whatnot," she commented awkwardly.

Carmilla paused to peek up from under the switchboard. "Is this you trying to do small talk?" 

The blonde rolled her eyes and dropped her arms to her sides. "I'm trying to be civil with you after we had that fight."

The pilot stared up at her for a few seconds with a raised brow. "Cute," she commented before ducking back under the switchboard.

Laura groaned. "Why do you always have to be so difficult?"

A chuckle was heard from underneath, followed by a few sparks, some rattling and then something slamming shut. The brunette pulled herself up from the floor and brushed herself off before locking eyes with the Jedi. "I'd like to think you find it endearing," she smirked.

"How?" Laura practically exclaimed.

"Oh, I don't know. You keep coming back for more, so I think you kinda like it," she winked before looking down to see her vest on the seat. "Ah, there you are, beautiful," she said toward the article of clothing before flinging it on like it was second nature. 

The pilot looked back at Laura. "As much as I enjoyed seeing you look all rebellious in it, I missed my baby."

The Jedi narrowed her eyes at her. "You're so weird." Carmilla shrugged before Laura began to giggle.

"What?"

"You've got oil, or grease, or something on your face," she said with a bright smile.

Carmilla reached up and wiped her hands across her cheeks. "Did I get it?"

Laura laughed even more. "You made it worse." The pilot actually added more to her face, probably from the grease being on her hands.

"Ugh," she groaned before reaching over to the corner of the switchboard and grabbing a rag. She wiped her face with it. Most of it was gone. "Good?"

The blonde smiled and shook her head before grabbing the rag from her hands. She immediately stepped into Carmilla's space and began rubbing gently on the brunette's cheekbone. It took her a moment to realize how intimate this action was. Her eyes widened from realization and then locked with the dark eyes watching her. The pilot's brows were lifted in surprise.

"I, uh, got it," Laura stuttered as she took a step back and avoided eye contact; holding the rag out for the pilot to take.

"Thanks," she answered, slowly taking the rag back before a sincere smile fell on her lips. "And to think, if I was still doing my whole solo act, I would have been walking around looking less than perfect."

Laura chuckled as she rolled her eyes. "And how would you have ever gotten any of your one night stands?"

Carmilla grinned and stared at her in confusion. "What one night stands? Ever since you came along, my game has obviously been lacking."

"I'm sorry I'm such a chick repellent," the blonde replied in amusement.

A scoff came from her companion. "You haven't heard me complainin', have you?"

Laura shrugged. "I interrupted you earlier with that woman at the cantina."

"Eh, I wasn't really interested," Carmilla answered simply with a genuine smile. It made Laura's heart swell in her chest. She ducked her head slightly to hide her smile as she tucked a loose tendril of hair behind her ear.

"Listen," the pilot began softly, "Laura," she added, which got the blonde's full attention. It was the way she said her name that made her insides shake. It was as if suddenly the Jedi was ten feet tall. She felt like Carmilla was shining a spotlight on her; the light caressing her in the gentlest fashion.

"I know I piss you off, and probably make you question your sanity a lot, but," she took a deep breath. "I never mean to be malicious toward you. That's not something I want."

Laura felt a sweet smile grace her own lips. "I know," she said gently.

Carmilla lifted her arm and began to rub the back of her neck self-consciously. "So, um, are we okay?"

Laura gave a single chuckle. "Yeah, Carm. We're okay."

The corner of the brunette's mouth twitched in the attempt of a smile before she bowed her head. She then brought her hand back to her neck, but rubbed along the front this time; her face twisted in discomfort.

"You alright?" Laura asked worriedly.

"Yeah. It's just the collar isn't exactly cushy. Airing it out here on the ship is nice, but I need some ointment. If it goes untreated, it'll turn into a brutal rash and that shit is not fun at all," she explained with a sigh.

"So you've... dealt with that before?" Laura asked hesitantly.

Carmilla chuckled and stared back lazily as her hand fell back to her side. "You know I'm not new to a collar, cupcake."

"Is that common? Among slaves, I mean?" the Jedi asked delicately.

"If the master is a piece of shit, yeah."

"That's horrible, Carm," she said with a frown.

She shrugged before flopping down into the pilot seat. "They all get what's coming to them eventually."

"Well that's... morbid."

"I'd like to think of it more as justice," she corrected as she propped her feet up on the switchboard.

"So if something happened to your previous master, you'd be happy?"

Carmilla laughed and looked at the Jedi. "Is that so hard to believe?"

"No," Laura agreed thoughtfully. "But would you ever consider being the one to get that justice?"

The pilot frowned suddenly. She pulled her feet from the switchboard and stared curiously at the blonde. "What's this about, princess?"

Laura huffed in frustration. "I just learned about what happened to Vordenburg's family. They say the slaves were never accounted for and that they are the obvious suspects," she explained as she stared off at nothing in particular. She looked back at Carmilla, who held an unreadable expression. "I was just curious if you thought you could have ever revolted like that; if it was something they were truly capable of doing." 

The intensity of Carmilla's stare was penetrating. "People can be pushed past their own limits. It wouldn't surprise me if some were treated so badly that they wanted to destroy everything in their path."

"So you think the slaves actually did it?"

"I think they probably had every right to. Vordenburg seems like scum."

"But to kill everyone in the estate?"

"Listen, I've been free for more than fifteen years and I still want to be the one to take down the man that so-called owned me," she argued with flared nostrils and a deep breath.

Laura frowned as she let a few seconds of silence pass between them. "Have you ever tried to find him?"

Carmilla scoffed. "Yeah. It didn't work out," she answered as she stared at the switchboard.

"What were... What were you gonna do if you found him?" she asked cautiously.

The pilot turned to lock her dark eyes onto Laura's honey. "Do I really have to spell it out for you, princess?"

The Jedi's brows furrowed. She understood why Carmilla would want to kill the man that called her property. It was just a hard thing to take in. It was bothersome to think that man was responsible for all the terrible things Carmilla went through after being bought. She was scarred. And that scar led her into even more dangerous hands. 

"You know, I make fun of you for being so naive and innocent, but it's actually kind of a breath of fresh air. My life hasn't been the most carefree," she tried to jest, but Laura felt her chest tighten.

"I'm glad I can be at least a little helpful," Laura smiled back sadly.

"You're more than a little," Carmilla hurriedly corrected with those dark piercing eyes. The Jedi opened her mouth to respond, but was left speechless.

Beep Beep 

Laura jumped slightly before pressing the button of her com link. "Hollis."

"Hey. It's Laf. It's getting kinda late. I'm gonna head into quarantine tomorrow morning. Just thought I'd let you guys know."

"Sounds good. Keep us updated."

"Sure thing, crushes on pilots."

"Laf!" she hissed.

"You guys fix your domestic issues from earlier?"

"It's fine," she said through clenched teeth. She looked up at Carmilla for a second, who stared back suspiciously.

"Well, it's only a matter of time before you guys start getting in each other's face again. And if you guys haven't argued to the point of hot, passionate love making after that, I'm gonna put you guys in your own quarantine."

"I swear to-"

"Bye!" they replied quickly before ending the call.

Laura let out an annoyed groan.

"Problem?" Carmilla asked with a raised brow.

"Our doctor is an asshole."

The brunette chuckled. "Yeah, I could've told you that. But they can be quite the funny asshole. What'd they say?"

"Nothing," Laura grumbled as she reached for her robe that was still on the back of the pilot's seat. "They're going into quarantine in the morning, so we should probably just try to rest up for tonight."

"Sounds like a plan," she agreed effortlessly.

The surroundings were surprisingly bright. The decor was elegant. Everything she walked past looked like an heirloom. Her pace was steady and her steps were firm. There was purpose in her walk. And with the first person that turned down the hall came the igniting of a red bladed lightsaber.

The man stared back in alarm as fear slowly seeped in. He was too frightened to yell. And with her unfaltering pace, she struck him down without any hesitation.

Then, she continued. More people appeared. And each one was brutally killed; one after the other. Not a single word was ever uttered. 

After the slaughter, she ended up opening a door to a group of youths huddling together. They were whimpering, but still didn't beg. They just stared with tear-filled eyes and clutched on to one another for dear life. 

Then, she lifted her hand into the air-

Laura awoke gasping for breath. Sweat had formed along her forehead and her jaw slightly trembled. She rubbed harshly at her eyes. The dream felt so real. It felt like she was actually the one doing it; the one tearing everyone apart. And she almost hurt those children... It was like reliving a bad memory.

Her eyes widened before she turned to look at the sealed door of her room. The Jedi realized what that dream was. It had felt like a memory because it was one; only it didn't belong to her.

She took a few deep breaths and ran her hand through her hair that had been pulled out of her traditional braid. She took some time to settle down before leaving her room.

Laura wandered along the hall before passing the practice room. Carmilla was sitting at the small table placed against the wall; her head bowed down with a hand holding her forehead. Her other hand held a cup on the table.

The blonde slowly stepped in and approached her. "Hey... You okay?"

Carmilla groaned without moving. "Didn't I give you a limit to the amount of times you could ask me that?"

The Jedi scoffed. "It's your fault I keep asking it."

The brunette lifted her head to stare at her incredulously. "Oh, it's my fault? How?"

"Things happen to you and then I-" she paused before finishing shyly- "worry."

Carmilla lifted a brow. "And what happened that made you come running?"

"I-" she felt uncomfortable. It was such an intense dream. The images made her stomach churn. "I dreamt something."

The pilot's eyes widened before she furrowed her brows. Her dark eyes filled with fury. "What did you see?" she demanded.

Laura felt the emotions through the bond. It was making it difficult for her to breathe. She forced a swallow. "I saw someone killing people... with a red lightsaber."

Carmilla clenched her jaw and flared her nostrils. She turned her head down to the table again and slammed her eyes shut. Her grip on the cup grew tighter. "Do you not care about privacy at all?!" she exclaimed; her head turning rashly toward the blonde as she threw the cup across the room. The liquid inside landing all over the floor.

"I don't know how I do it!" Laura defended apologetically. "I swear!"

Carmilla's dark eyes somehow seemed as if they were lit on fire. The passion coming from them left goosebumps along Laura's skin.

The pilot rose to her feet harshly and stomped over to her companion. "You're nosy. And you never know when to fucking quit," she spit out. "So fine. You want some answers? Yeah, okay. What you saw? I just dreamt it too. I relived it. I killed everyone that got in my way. And it felt fucking glorious." 

Laura struggled to keep her jaw tight. If she didn't, Carmilla would see her trembling. "You killed those children too?" she asked weakly.

Dark eyes searched honey. "And if I did?"

She slowly began to shake her head. "But they- They were helpless kids! What could they have possibly done?!"

"What does it matter? That was a long time ago. I'm good now, remember?" she mocked with a snarl. 

Laura frowned. Her voice was weak and cracked. "But why did you kill them? Why did you murder them without a second thought?!"

"Because I was told to," Carmilla answered stoically.

"And you blindly listened?!"

"When your precious Council gives an order, don't you hop to it?" she asked disgustedly.

"No! I don't! Not if it's something I don't believe in! They locked you up when they were trying to decide what to do with you. I didn't agree so I stayed with you!" Laura argued desperately.

Carmilla chuckled bitterly as she took in Laura's expressions. "Then once again you prove how you're a better person than I am."

Laura bowed her head and began shaking it again. Her eyes were watery as she replayed the dream in her head. "I actually felt like I was the one doing it. I felt like such a monster."

A single chuckle came from the woman in front of her. The blonde lifted her head to stare.

"So now I'm a monster? One minute you're trying to tell me I'm a saint, and now suddenly I'm the monster." Her words hit Laura like venom seeping into her veins.

"Carm, I didn't mean-"

"No. I think that's exactly what you mean. Poor, innocent Laura... Finally seeing the darkness of the world. Glad I could be of service," she finished through clenched teeth before she left the room; slamming her shoulder into the Jedi as she passed.

Laura immediately chased after her down the hall. "Carm!"

Carmilla spun around and glared as she stood in the blonde's space. "You don't get to judge me and not feel the consequences! You know, I've dreamt things too. Things I'm sure you wouldn't want me to bring up. Like how you cried in your bed every night wishing your mother would be alive again. How you'd clutch on to your little locket and promise her you'd never let anyone feel alone because that's all you ever felt after she died."

"Stop," Laura said weakly.

"Or how about that one time when you begged your father to stay after your mother passed, and he said the Jedi were going to take care of you now. Meanwhile, he went off to do his treasure hunting; leaving you behind once again when you really needed him."

"Stop!" the blonde yelled, followed by a whimper. A tear or two fell down her cheeks.

"Yeah... How does it feel to have someone come up and throw those memories in your face?" Carmilla said with her body less in attack mode.

Laura bowed her head and swallowed. She sniffed and nodded slowly. "I get it. I didn't realize what I was doing. I'm sorry," her voice wavered. Then, she looked back up, and Carmilla was taken aback by the power behind her honey eyes. "But wasn't it only a few hours ago when you told me you never wanted to do anything malicious toward me?"

The pilot's mouth fell open, but no words came out.

"I get that I hurt you," Laura admitted. "But I didn't do it on purpose." She then turned around and walked back down the hall toward her room.

Carmilla watched with a heavy heart.