Tainted Heart

After Hope drove off, Kelley found herlsef standing there just staring down the street in the direction Hope had gone. She was just standing there hugging herself, she was sad and disappointed but mostly sad. Who in their right mind forgets that they need to go back to college?

Apparently she did and now it was something she really needed to think about. She knew she had to leave no matter what. It was her last year of college. There was no way she was gonna skip when she was so close to being done.

The question was, was Hope willing to work this out with her? was she willing to do the long distance?. Those questions only Hope could answer, and Kelley was going to do everything in her power to convince her that they could do this, they could make it work even if they were miles apart. At least that's what she hoped.

She headed inside the house, trying to muster the best smile she could, the last thing she needed was for her brother to worry about her. As soon as the kids saw her walk in they both made a run for her and engulfed her in the biggest hug, telling her how much they missed her aunty Kell.

"I missed you I'm so glad you're back" Jordan said still hugging her.

"I missed you too," Jacob said letting go and stepping away from Kelley" um where's Hope? Is she with you??"

"Um ..she had to go home, she said to tell you sorry that she'll make it up to you OK?" Kelley lied and gave her nephew a sad smile.

Jacob had asked Hope if she could help him again with his penalty kicks, and they had agreed she would stop by when she dropped off Kelley after getting back from Portland.

"Oh ok" Jacob was a little disappointed but he just shrugged" I was kinda tired anyways, I'm gonna go to my room"

And with that he walked away up the stairs. He seemed to have warmed up to Hope in the last few days, and Kelley was over the moon about it, he had always been really quiet specially after his mother had passed away, he had closed off a little more. So Kelley and Jerry were both graceful and surprised at how soon he had started to warm up to her.

"You too Jordan, I'll be there soon." Jerry said ushering him upstairs.

"You ok there?" Her brother asked a little worried " I know I fake smile when I see one specially on you."

Kelley let out a sigh.

"Yeah I'll be ok, I just don't wanna talk about it right now." She went to hug his brother," I'm gonna head up to bed I'm tired."

"Kell its only like four thirty " he hugged her a little tighter.

"I know I just need to be alone" Kelley pulled away from the hug.

"Ok you tell me if you need anything ok?" Kelley just nodded and headed up to her room.

Once in her room she decided to jump I'm the shower. She felt exhausted more emotionally that physically.

Once out of the long shower, she decided to take a nap. Maybe she would just sleep through the day and wake up until the next morning. She layed down hoping to fall asleep soon. All she did was toss and turn, her head full with thoughts of Hope and what she might be doing right now. She needed to go to her so after a couple hours she made up her mind.

Kelley got up and grabbed a pair of sweats and a hoddie to put on and then headed downstairs. Lucky for her, Jerry was nowhere to be seen. She would text him once she left the house to let him know she was going out. As soon as she was in the car she shoot him a text and drove away. Once she reached Hopes house she noticed Carli's car but no sign of Hope's, so she decided to call her first.

When there was no answer, her heart broke a little, maybe Hope was really done. The thought came and went. She couldn't let herself think that. She loved Hope and Hope loved her back. They were gonna work something out.
She decided to message instead. One way or another Hope was gonna hear her out. She sat there staring at her phone for what it felt like forever hoping it would light up with Hopes name on it.

Carli walked in and the first thing she saw was Hope sitting by the bar taking a shot that by the disgusted face she made it was probably something really strong. There was a beer and a couple more empty shot glasses by her.

"Great," Carli taught "just what I need to deal with, a drunk Hope."

Its not that Hope did this a lot, in fact she didn't drink often but when she did, it was because she was upset or sad.

Carli approached her bestfriends hoping she wasn't too drunk. Hope could be a little hard to deal with when drunk. Before Carli reached the bar Hope turned around and spotted her. She gave her a sad smile.

"Good god she's not that drunk" Carli thought to herself and smiled back at her friend. Hope just turned around and took a big sip of her beer.

"Hey there take it easy" Carli said once she reached her and put a hand on her shoulder, "come on let's get out of here get you home ok."

Hope just sighed and stood up she turned to face Carli. She could tell she had been crying her eyes where kinda red and puffy. Carli hated seeing her friend like this. She had been so happy this last couple weeks.

She pulled her into a hug and they stood there for a minute or two. Carli hated doing this in public she wasn't much to show affection in public and knew Hope wasn't one for that either so she pulled away and walked up to the bartender to ask for the check. Hope pulled out her credit card and handed it to Carli. As soon as she paid they walked outside got in Carlis car and drove away to Hopes house. They would pick up Hopes car tomorrow morning.

Hope was quiet the whole ride home, and Carli didn't even push her to talk. She knew her friend just needed her there, she would talk when and if she wanted. All she could do was be there for her.

They arrived at Hopes house, Carli pulled in the drive way and turned off the car. Neither made a move to get out.

"You know I should start charging you for my services." Carli said in a teasing way, Hope turned her way and smiled sadly. Carli always found a way to make her smile.

"What a friend you are" Hope chuckled a little at the fake hurt face Carli made, "come on let's head inside"

"I'm the best you got" Carli said back smirking at her. They got off the car and headed inside the house. They made their way to the living room, not before Carli went by the fridge and grabbed two beers. They settled in the couch by eachother. She handed Hope a beer and she went on to open it and finished half of it in one swing.

"Feeling a little better?" Carli asked watching Hope breathe a little hard after chugging half of a beer and then taking a sip of her own beer.

"Define better?" Hope asked with a hint of sadness in her voice.

"Well you could be talking this with Kelley right now but here I am" Carli said taking another sip of her beer.

"Its not that easy Carli, I just needed to think about some stuff" Hope said getting a little defensive. Carli was always direct with Hope, she would call her out on everything.

" So what? it's never easy, you just gonna run away every time something gets complicated?" Carli asked putting her beer in the center table "did you even talk about it at all with her? Because knowing you I don't think you did"

"I just dropped her off and told her we would talk about it, I just needed to be alone" Hope said following Carli and putting her beer on the table.

"And yet here I am" Carli said waiting on a reaction from Hope.

"I know ok Carli I know, I don't know what's wrong with me" Hope said bringing her hands to cover her face.

"There's nothing wrong with you babe, at all ok, get it together. Yeah I get it she should have mentioned she was going to eventually go back. That's on her, but just because she's there and you're here doesn't mean it can't work." Said Carli scooting over closer to Hope putting her arm around her to give her some comfort.

"Look all I know is that I've never seen you that happy, I honestly think she's the best thing that's ever happened to you and you can't let yourself lose her not like this not ever." Carli was a little upset but mostly sad to see her friend like this. Hope was an insecure person specially when it came to relationships. Not that she had many but she would always manage to blame herself for not giving it all. And she would always end up hurt.

Adrian had been her most stable relationship. They were friends before they became a thing and that had helped in their relationship. Carli never really saw them as being in a relationship it was more of a friendship with benefits really.

Hopes phone started to go off announcing she had an incoming call. Carli felt Hope freeze a little under her touch. They both glanced at it and saw Kelley's name appear on the screen.

"Aren't you gonna get that?" Carli asked giving her a little squeeze on her shoulder.

"I feel like such an asshole" Hope said grabbing her phone off the couch, as soon as it was on her hand it stopped.

"That's because you are sometimes," Hope looked up to glare at her friend and Carli just smirked "but come on call her you guys need to talk and see this through, I need you to be happy and having her in your life makes you happy so go on call her have her come over or something its still early."

Hopes phone sent off signaling she had a new message. It was from Kelley. Carli got up and grabbed the two beer bottles to dispose of them. Giving Hope a little privacy to look at her message.

Kell- We need to talk about this please :( I love you that's not gonna change please let me come see you

Hope felt her eyes water a little, she got up and walked outside, she sat on the swingseat and hit call on Kelley's number. It only rang once before Kelley picked up.

"Hope I-" Kelley said and was cut off by Hope.

"I'm so sorry Kell, I'm such an ass I didn't mean to run from you I was just really wreck my mind was a mess and I just I lost it I-" now it was Kelley who cutbher off mid rant.

"Hey no you have nothing to be sorry about ok, I wanna talk to you about this just not like this, can I come over?" Kelley asked.

"Yes, let me just send Carli home" Hope said getting up from the swingseat and heading inside.

"Oh good because im kinda already here" Kelley said in a low voice that Hope almost didn't hear, almost.

"Of course you are" Hope said smiling a little.

"See you in a bit" Kelley said

"Ok" Hope said before hanging up.

"Hey how'd it go?" Asked carli from the couch.

"Good um she's coming over" Hope felt bad for having to send her friend home after she had made her drop whatever she was doing to come take care of her.

"Great now promise me you're gonna drop those stupid walls you start to build up when you're hurt or sad, just be honest with her ok" Carli said getting up to hug Hope goodbye.

"I promise" Hope still hugging her friend "thanks for everything, you're amazing I hope you know that"

"That I am my friend," carli said with a smirk on her face pulling away from Hopes embrace. Hope smiled and walked her to the door.

"I'll call you tomorrow ok" Hope said opening the front door.

"I'll be waiting" was all Carli said then she started to walk outside and noticed there was another car parked by her. It was Kelley. Carli looked back to the front door where hope was standing with her hands crossed on her chest. She sent her one last smile and waved her goodbye.

As soon as Carli drove off Kelley got of her car and made her way to where Hope was standing in the front door.

"Hi" Kelley said shyly once she was in front of Hope.

Hope rolled her eyes a little at Kelley's sudden shyness.

"Come here" was all Kelley heard before she knew it she was getting pulled into a kiss.

Hope was now determined to make this work between them even if it meant doing the whole distance relationship thing. She wasn't sure how it was going to work but she would find a way. She wasn't going to lose the best damn thing that had ever happened to her.

"I Love you so god damn much" Hope said pulling always from the kiss and bringing Kelley in closer to her "I don't wanna lose you"

"You won't, ever," Kelley said her voice breaking a little "I'm all yours Hope only yours."