Tainted Heart

Hope was a runner, she would always try and run from her problems even if it meant ending with her heart broken. She had been since she was little. When her old golden retriever died, she was about 8 years old and she ran away crying from home. It took her mom and brother almost all day to find her. She had run to a park near by where people took their dogs for walks. When she was 16 and her first boyfriend told her he loved her, she ran and shut him out, never talked to him again. It was a good thing they didn't go to the same school. She really liked him but she was scared of love, she didn't know what love was honestly. Even tho she had been the one to walk away it still hurt her. Her first heartbreak, and she did it to herself. So yes she was a runner, literally and figuratively.

But sitting here holding Kelley in her arms, she no longer had the desire to run away from her, from their relationship. Kelley made her want to fight for it, for her. She was scared shitless, the distance might break them. She knew there was a possibility that it would but yet here she was, she wasn't a 100% it would work. She was a very insecure person. But she was willing to try, for her. Kelley was worth it, she was worth the try, and more than that.

She wanted a whole life with her, she had never felt like this about anyone. Never in her life had she seen herself with someone in a future. Kelley felt like home for her. And she wanted to be that for Kelley. Even if they were thousand miles apart.

"I can hear the wheels in your head turning Hope" Kelley said breaking her out of her thoughts "what's in that little head of yours, talk to me."

"I was just thinking of how much I love you" Hope said placing a kiss on top of Kelley's head that was resting in her chest. " and that I'm going to miss you like crazy once you're gone."

At this Kelley sat up and looked at Hope

"Does this mean you're willing to try the whole distance relationship with me?" Kelley asked her voice trembling a little.

"I don't like the thought of you being a thousand miles apart from me, I actually hate it," Hope said with a pout "And its going to be hard, so fucking hard. Because I don't know if you noticed but I'm the most insecure person I've ever met. But I can't lose you kelley, I love you too damn much to even think about a life without you."

Kelley wasn't expecting this from Hope, this made her heart swell with emotion. She wasn't specting for her to feel the same way she was feeling. She was now talking about the future, a future with her, and that made Kelley even more sadder that she was going to be apart from this woman for a whole year.

"I love you so much, like its crazy to think how much I feel for you in such a short time," Kelley said, she closed the gap to give her a kiss. A slow short kiss, she pulled away but brought her hands to each side of Hope's face "you and me, we can do this, I know we can, we're gonna make it through, tick and thin and in between. I'm with you Hope, that's a promise."

Kelley knew it was going to be hard, hell it was going to be miserable for both of them, but she would rather be a little miserable for a year than lose Hope.

Hope smiled and closed the little distance and rested her forehead on Kelley's.

"We're really going to do this?" Hope said, kelley put her hands around Hopes neck.

"Are we?" Kelley asked.

"I can't lose you, even tho I am losing you in some way I'll visit when I can, you'll visit when you can. I think we can do this, I hope we can do this" Hope said a little doubt in her voice.

"We will, you wanna know why?" Kelley asked going back to their last position of Kelley resting her head on Hope's chest smiling, feeling happy and like a weight had been lifted off her. Before Hope even spoke Kelley continued "because you and I we are meant to be together, like peanut butter and jelly."

Hope laughs, the most adorable and loud laugh. She's going to really miss her, more she can even imagine.

"You're a child." Hope chuckles.

"But you love me." Kelley says looking up at Hope, she looks down and smiles at her.

"That I do." Hope answers the smile still present in her mouth "come on let's head inside and get ready for bed well talk more about this tomorrow ok"

"Too tired I can't move, I can't walk" Kelley says sitting up and pouting. Hope found it endearing and ridiculous at the same time. She knew what Kelley was asking for without her even having to say it.

"No" was all Hope said rolling her eyes she got up and walked towards the door that lead inside "not gonna happen, come one you big child."

Kelley let out am exaggerated groan "Fineee! You're the worst girlfriend you know" she said getting up walking past Hope.

Hope smiled at her enjoying the little banter between them, it felt good. She gave Kelley a pat in the butt when she walked past her.

"Hey, you don't get to have any of this" Kelley said turning around, trying to keep a straight face "not after you refused to carry me to bed"

Hope started to walk Kelley's way with desire written all over her face. She grabbed Kelley and pulled her up. Kelley's legs wrapped around Hope.

"How about now?" Hope asked with a smirk on her face.

"Mmmm..." Kelley moaned.

"I'll take that as a yes" Hope chuckled and made her way up the stairs carrying a very happy giggling Kelley.

Hope knew they only had little time together before Kelley had to go back. So she was on a mission to make the best out it, and show Kelley just how much she loved her. In a way it was one of Hopes insecurities getting the best of her. She always had in the back of her mind all this what if's. What if she finds someone better? What if she stops loving me? What if she decides the distance is too much? What if she finds someone that loves her more? Was that even possible?. Hope only wished it wasn't. So she was going to do whatever she could to show Kelley just how much she was in love with her and only her. She was her endgame, her forever.

Kelley was over the moon, happy as she can be. Hope really did love her. Not that she ever questioned it or doubt it. But she did and Kelley love her too. All Kelley could think about while being held by Hope, her Hope, is how grateful she was to have found her. To be able to call Hope her girlfriend, and to be able to fall in love every waking day more and more. The fact that Hope was willing to do anything for her. Even do the whole distance relationship, it meant a lot to Kelley, it meant the world.

And so they showed each other just how much they loved one another. Every kiss and every touch was so delicate, filled with so much emotion and love. That night they made sure to seal their promise to stay together no matter what. Even in through the bad days.