Chapter 1
I roll into my assigned parking space and put the car in park, I take a moment to enjoy the comfort of the car’s warm AC before switching it off and opening the door flooding the car with the crisp morning air. I walk to the back of my car, and I retrieve my backpack from the trunk. I glance at my watch “7:13”. I spent the first month of school determining the perfect time to leave the house and get to school, it’ll take me two more minutes to walk to the entrance, just in time for the teachers to unlock the entrance and let students in. the closer I get to the entrance, the closer I get to the buses, all lined up in their parking spaces, all idling.
“The air is so polluted here it’s fucking depressing” I think to myself, I can’t help but breathe in the exhaust fumes, it feels, all consuming, like nowhere I go I’ll never be able to escape them, but I eventually reach the entrance and exhale the last of the polluted air from my lungs. As I make my way down the main hallway I start to approach the grand staircase, where admins are stationed to keep watch, before I get to them, I dig in my left pocket for my wallet and I take out my library card, then I put my wallet back in my pocket. Leaving my right hand, holding onto my library card at my side. I reach the administrator guarding the hallway, ensuring students are going where they’re supposed to, she glances at me like she does every day, she already knows in allowed to go to the library in the mornings, but I still hold the card at my side everyday anyways.
“Hi lindy” the librarian says from behind her desk, her voice smooth and gentle.
“Hey” I whisper in response, barely audible, my voice is scratchy from not being used. After the exchange I take a seat at the table closest to the double doors that lead back into the main hallway of the school. I sit on the side of the table that faces the rest of the library, my back to the storeroom that not many people go into. I always hated having my back to people, I don’t really know why but I feel more comfortable when I can see the entire room from where I sit. After taking my seat, I place my backpack at the side of the table, and I dig out the book, I took off my desk this morning, I flip to the page where I left off, I remove the cardstock paper with the due date stamped in ink that was saving my spot, and I gently toss it on the table. From the time I enter the library to 7:35, I spend reading silently, like a statue, every few seconds checking my posture to ensure I’m sitting up with my back perfectly straight, people join my table, they talk together, they always ignore me, and I always ignore them.
“If only they’d talk to me, maybe then I wouldn’t need to c-” another impure thought. I close my eyes tightly to push it out, even though I know that at some point it’ll return, and I’ll get that urge again.
The bell rings at 7:35, and everyone in the library funnels thru the rightmost set of double doors, but I instead exit out of the left set, to avoid the crowd. Then I make my way to the first block which is inconvenient, but I’ll live.
“Thank god It’s an A day” I think, because I know that all I have to do is 30 minutes of lecture, and note taking, then I can sleep the rest of the class.
“If I get an hour of sleep in Dr. Moore’s class, and 45 minutes of sleep in Mr. Philips’ class, then I’ll probably have enough energy to make it through Mr. Rogers’, and Mr. Harding’s class. Given that I drink a redbull during Mr. Rogers’ U.S history class” I calculate in my mind, but then I think harder about Mr. Rogers’ class, then I remember, Stella is in that class.