Chapter 2
Chapter 2
Mikasa couldn’t take her eyes off of him. She knew him; she was certain of this. She raked through her mind to try and bring back any distorted memories she had. She began to worry whether other people would wonder why she was staring strangely at this man; luckily, he himself had not noticed. Where had she seen him before? The man started to look around the room, his blue eyes not searching for anything in particular. His eyes glossed over to Mikasa’s, and they both finally noticed they had been staring at one another for a while.
Mikasa awkwardly averted her eyes downward, in search of something; anything to pick up on. Her pen. Where was it? She then remembered it had fallen to the floor in her state of panic. She slowly bent down to pick it up, hoping that the man wasn’t watching her. Mikasa pulled herself to the table, and straightened out hair black bob of hair. She made a brave choice to quickly glance at the man. He was no longer looking at her, but rather had his head nuzzled in one of the many books he had at hand.
About an hour had passed. Customers had been coming and going, yet the man still sat there, reading, to Mikasa’s amazement. She wasn’t able to hold concentration for anything as long as he had. Aside from him, there were only about 3 other people browsing around the corridors of books that lined the room. Mikasa tapped her pen, boredom consuming her mind. What would she eat tonight? Maybe pasta, if she could be bothered to cook it. Perhaps a takeout, maybe order a-
“Excuse me...Miss?”
Mikasa snapped herself out of her food fantasy and shot her head up, blinking rapidly. The man she had been so intrigued by was standing in front of her. She gulped, suddenly terrified of a man she didn’t even know. Mikasa considered the fact that it was because he was rather appealing to look at, but alas, that couldn’t be the reason why her palms were so sweaty.
“I’d like to take these books out please, if I may.”
Mikasa slowly looked up at him. His forehead was kind of sweaty, and his eyes were so vibrant. He gave a warm yet awkward smile at her, noticing her lack of a reply.
"Oh, uh,” Mikasa stuttered, taking the books from him. There were about 6 or 7, so she carefully placed them next to her on the desk. “Of course, Sir.” Mikasa began lazily scanning the books as she always did, but felt his constant presence on her. She then remembered her same boring lines she had to repeat out time and time again.
“Do you have a loyalty card here at all, Sir?” She asked, not bothering to look up, in fear of another awkward staring session.
“I do, in fact.” The man started digging in his pockets, leaning to one side to find what Mikasa assumed to be his wallet. He pulled it out, and opened it. Mikasa felt a surge of courage come up from the depths of her soul. She never bothered to make a real effort to talk to anyone unless she absolutely had to, so going out of her way to muster something up was abnormal.
“I don’t mean to pry,” Mikasa stuttered, “But you seemed to have a lot of books over there. You seem like you’re interested in books a lot, so how come I’ve never seen you here before?”
The man looked up from his searching with a blank stare. Mikasa felt slightly embarrassed at her random asking. But, with a short cough, he answered.
“Well, I used to actually come here a lot ages ago. It may have been before you started working here, actually, as I don’t recall you ever seeing you here before. I used to come to study for high school.” He carried on digging for his card, while Mikasa thought of her reply.
“Yeah, that could have been the case. I started working here about three years ago, after the lady in my current work position died.”
The man looked down to Mikasa again. “Oh yeah, I remember her! She was really old and mean, and you had to be in total silence in here. Now, seeing as you basically own this place, you don’t seem to mind people chatting.”
Mikasa chuckled slightly. “Ah, yeah. Who am I to tell some random children to not speak? Everyone that comes in here is okay, so it doesn’t make my job hard. It’s a bit of a dead end job, but a job is a job.”
He laughed. “Yeah, I know the feeling. Job’s can be so hard to find these days. Ah, finally! Here you are, Miss. Sorry for the wait. ” The blonde said, handing her the card.
Mikasa gave a warm smile. Something she hadn’t given in a while. “Not at all!” She recited the conversation she just had with the man in her head. He definitely seemed familiar, but she just couldn’t put her finger on it. Why had she come out of her shell, just to speak to him? There was something about him that just made her want to, talk. About everything.
She scanned the last book, and put it on top of the new pile she had made. She went to scan his card. As it beeped, she looked down at his picture. He had a goofy smile, as if he had been laughing when the picture was taken. She then looked at his name, and her eyes widened. Her heart stopped. Her eyebrows slowly raised, and she dropped the card, making it bouncing on desk. Her hand kept the same position. The name read,
Armin Alert.
Mikasa let out a breath that she didn’t know she had been holding. Armin. Armin?! Mikasa refused to let herself think that this was pure coincidence. That is why he had seemed so familiar. She did know him. She did recognize him. Slowly tilting her eyes back up to face him, he plastered a worried look on his face. Seeing him as she knew him now, every little detail fit in place with his new found identity. His hair, his eyes. It all made sense.
“Ah, Miss? Is my card okay? It’s not expired is it?”
Should she tell him? Call out to him? Let him know it was her? What if he didn’t remember her...No. Surely he must. Maybe she should stay silent. Say she freaked out for a minute. She wouldn’t have to explain. She wouldn’t have to explain anything to him.
But she did.
Mikasa had so much explaining to do. Things left unsaid. Things she never had a chance to say. What happened back then. Why she made the choices she made. She had to tell him. Armin had to listen. He had to know, even if he didn’t want to. Mikasa wanted- needed redemption. Something she never got given back then. She had to prove she wasn’t a bad person. Even if he hated her; even if he didn’t respond. All she wanted was for him to listen to her. So she made, what seemingly to her, was the right choice.
“Armin...Armin Alert?” She stuttered, almost a faint sob.
Armin stared at her, confused. “Yes, that’s my name. Is there a problem-“
“It’s me, Armin. Mikasa...” She drifted off.
Armin’s eyebrows formed into a straight line. “I’m sorry. I think you have me mistaken with someone else, I don’t know a Mika-“ His eyes were lakes that formed into oceans as they expanded. It had sunk in. Mikasa looked up with tears in her eyes, biting her lip. He stared at her, mouth parted a little.
“Holy s-shit...Mikasa? Mikasa Ackerman?” She nodded, her eyes glossed with tears.
He did remember her. That wasn’t the whole reason she was crying, though. Mikasa gathered that because he remembered her, he must have had a flash back of the crash, too.
She also wondered if he hated her. Maybe she had opened herself, told him who she was for no reason. But alas, that was not the case. Armin rushed over behind the desk, as Mikasa whirled around in her swivel chair, standing up to greet him. They paused in front of each other for a short amount of time, drinking each other’s almost new bodies in, before Mikasa cracked out a sob, jolting her head forward, and Armin embraced her in the biggest hug of her life. He gently yet tightly wrapped his arms around her back, as she did the same to him.
Mikasa slowly opened her eyes, still crying, and noticed that no one was in the library except for Armin. The last time she checked, there had been a few people browsing. At least there was no one in here now, aside from Armin, to see her in a blubbering mess. Armin had a warm smile on his face, with eyes closed. This was the first time in years, Mikasa had received any kind of human contact, and for once, she didn’t condone it. Armin finally pulled back, resting his arms on Mikasa’s shoulders. She brought her own hands up to her face, and used her clammy palm to wipe away glossy tears.
“I can’t believe it, Mikasa, you..” He stuttered, trying to find the right words. “You look well!”
Mikasa scoffed. “You do too. I thought I recognized you when I saw you browsing.”
“Same goes for you. I knew I recognized you. I’m glad you said something, otherwise I wouldn’t have. Listen, Mikasa. I want apologize for not keeping in touch, I feel awful, but you know what happened, and how it is-“
Mikasa stopped him by putting her hand up, straightening out her palm. “Armin, stop. It’s okay, “She let out a sad breathy laugh. “Really. I get it. I have a lot more things I need to apologize for, anyway. I want to talk to you, Armin. No, I need to talk to you. I need to let out what I’ve been keeping bottled up for all these years. I have to tell you...everything. Even if you don’t want to respond, or keep in touch afterward. I just need you to listen. Please.”
She didn’t want to sound desperate, and her small speech seemingly came out of nowhere, but they both knew they had to explain everything. Plus, it would be nice to catch up.
Armin nodded. “Yeah, okay. I’ll listen. But you have to hear me out too.” Mikasa nodded. “Okay. Not here, though. Not now. When does your work finish?”
“Not until four and it’s only,” Her eyes flicked to her watch as she pulled up her hand. “Twelve seven-teen.” She huffed.
“Do you have a pen and paper spare?”
Mikasa’s head moved from left to right in a hurried dash of searching. Her eyes finally found a post tic note, and luckily, a green pen, next to them. Her favourite colour.
Armin carefully took it out of her hand, and bent down on her desk, to scribble something down. After about thirty seconds of scribbling, he handed her back the post tic note. She glanced at it. The name of what she assumed was a cafe, was neatly written down.
“Meet me there after your shift ends. I’m actually going to grab a drink from there now, so I’ll wait for you.”
Mikasa’s eyes widened a little. “Armin! I don’t expect you to wait for me for like, 5 hours. That’s insane!” She said, huffing and throwing her arm down next to her thigh. Armin gestured to the pile of books Mikasa had scanned what seemed like forever ago.
“I’m not doing anything else particularly interesting today. I’ll just read. I don’t mind; I will wait for you, Mikasa.” It sounded silly, but hearing her name coming out of another human’s mouth was oddly satisfying, probably due to the fact that no one had uttered her name in so long.
Mikasa sighed, giving in. “Okay, if your sure. But I still feel bad.”
Armin chuckled, shoving his card back into his jean pockets. He then pulled out a bag, and carefully dropped the pile of books in there. He made his way over to the door, turning back as they automatically opened.
“Well, don’t. I’ll be fine. I’ll have a drink for you ready when you get there. Still black coffee with a pinch of sugar?”
Armin took Mikasa’s stunned face at his memory, as a yes. He gave her a warm smile, and headed out the door.
Mikasa looked at her shaking hands as she sat back down. She finally got the thing she was after, a chance to explain, but now that it was actually happening, she couldn’t help but worry. She just hoped deep down, that she could say her part right. She deserved that much, at least.