Ever Happened

Ren sat cross-legged on a log, watching the absolute chaos unfold before him.

The Cabin Club, once just a secret hangout spot in the Emerald Forest, had now grown into something far bigger than anyone could have predicted.

There were first-years, second-years, third-years—even exchange students hanging around.

But there was no real leadership structure.

Just Jaune Arc, somehow at the center of it all, drinking from a flask of what was probably very illegal alcohol while observing a bare-knuckle fight between Cardin Winchester and a faunus.

Ren sighed.

“Jaune," he said, voice calm as always. “This club is getting too big.“

Jaune shrugged, taking another sip. “Eh, we manage.“

“You manage," Ren corrected. “Which is exactly why I’m concerned.“

Jaune leaned back against a tree. “Relax, most of Goodwitch’s ire is focused on me, anyway.“

Ren raised an eyebrow. “That is not a good thing, Jaune.“

“It is if it keeps everyone else out of trouble.“

Ren sighed again. “Jaune—“

“Look," Jaune gestured vaguely. “Ms. Goodwitch handles combat class. Yeah. But she’s also Beacon’s main disciplinarian. She wants to make sure there’s a clear line between what’s legal and what’s illegal.“

Ren frowned. “And what we do here…“

“…is mostly legal,” Jaune finished smoothly. “We are ‘sparring’.”

Ren stared.

Jaune grinned. “Mostly.“

Sun then sat down next to them.

“Dudes,” Sun muttered, taking a bite out of his banana. “We kinda like… destroy the Grimm in the forest, y’know?“

Ren glanced around at the makeshift arena, where students were beating the absolute hell out of each other for sport and lien.

“Sun,” Ren said. “We have an underground fight club and people trade contraband here.“

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” Sun waved a hand dismissively. “But, like, we also help people survive better. We go on our own little hunts, take down Grimm packs, and like—when was the last time a Grimm got close?“

Ren frowned, realizing Sun had a point.

Jaune just laughed. “See? We’re a public service at this point.“

Ren sighed again.

“That doesn’t make this better, Jaune.“

Then they looked in front.

In the arena, Cardin Winchester was currently getting his ass kicked by a faunus.

Sun, watching the fight unfold, furrowed his brow. “Okay. Hold up. Since when does Cardin Winchester hang out with faunus?“

Ren, sitting calmly with his tea, answered without looking up. “Since we started letting people fight their problems out.“

Sun blinked. “What?“

“Cardin’s from a Great War family,” Ren explained. “His entire belief system was passed down to him. He’s still racist as hell, but at least now, instead of bullying faunus, he just fights them here.“

Sun stared at him. “And this is… better?“

“It’s not ideal,” Ren admitted. “But it’s better than what he used to do in the Academy.“

Sun grimaced. “Dude, half of them still hate him.“

“They do,” Ren nodded. “But they still let him be part of the club, despite that.“

"Cause they can actually punch him here?" Sun scratched his head. “Man, this place is weird.“

Jaune grinned. “Welcome to the Cabin Club, my guy. It's not like you don't what we do here.“

After watching the fights for a while, Sun suddenly turned to Ren.

“Alright, but for real, dude—what’s the deal with you and Nora?“

Ren froze mid-sip.

Jaune immediately burst out laughing.

“Wow.” Jaune clapped a hand on Sun’s shoulder. “No hesitation. No buildup. Just straight to the point. Love it.“

Ren blinked rapidly, caught completely off guard. “W-what?“

“You and Nora, man!” Sun gestured vaguely. “You guys are, like, attached at the hip, but you’re not dating? What’s up with that?“

Jaune, still laughing, leaned in. “Yeah, Ren, what’s up with that?“

Ren slowly set down his tea. “I…” He struggled for words, something Jaune had never seen before.

“Oh my gods,” Jaune grinned. “He doesn’t know yet.“

Sun smirked. “Oh, that’s interesting.“

Ren scowled at both of them. “We are not discussing this.“

Jaune just laughed harder. “Ren, my dude, we are definitely discussing this.“

Sun nodded sagely. “For sure, man. This is Cabin Club business now.“

Ren groaned, rubbing his temples. “I hate all of you.“

Jaune just grinned, then offered a drink to loosen lips.

It was not a good idea.

Jaune, Ren, Sun, Neptune, Sky, and Dove were now in a tree.

And they were drunk as hell.

Why?

Because sometimes, after a logical course of action being that was to grab a few (possibly stolen) drinks, climb a tree, and argue about nonsense.

They were now in a tree with their local racist.

“I’m just saying—” Cardin slurred, swinging a half-empty bottle. “Faunus doesn’t know how good they have it. We kinda let them live and then they—”

Sun slowly turned to look at him.

Jaune, already holding back laughter, immediately tightened his grip on Sun’s shoulder.

“Not tonight,” Jaune muttered, struggling not to laugh.

Sun cracked his knuckles. “I just wanna talk.“

“You don’t wanna talk,” Jaune said wisely. “You wanna punch him in the face?”

“Yeah, well,” Sun grumbled. “One problem solves the other.“

“You say that, but then I have to deal with the aftermath,” Jaune muttered, rubbing his temple.

Cardin snorted. “Oh, what, gonna lecture me on being a bad person, Arc?“

“No, I’m trying to stop you from getting your ass beat, buddy.“

Sun grinned.

Jaune, already tired of trying to keep Sun from killing Cardin, turned to Ren and started poking him.

“Alright, alright,” Jaune said, voice too smug. “So… Ren.“

Ren sighed, gripping a tree branch like his life depended on it. “Jaune, please don’t.“

“We never got an answer earlier, buddy,” Jaune continued, his words slurring slightly. “You and Nora. What’s the deal?“

Ren rubbed his temple. “Why don’t you talk about your own love life, Jaune?“

Jaune chuckled, taking another swig. “I kinda gave up on that for now.“

Ren rolled his eyes. “Bullshit.“

“No, really,” Jaune nodded dramatically, waving his hands. “No love for me, Ren. Just a lonely knight wandering through life, you know?“

Ren stared. “You’re full of shit.“

“Nah, I’m full of—“

And then—

Jaune puked.

The moment Jaune vomited, everything went downhill.

Because immediately afterward, he lost his grip, slipped—

And fell face-first into his own puke.

Silence.

Then—

Cardin laughed his ass off. “You’re a moron, Arc.“

And then Cardin fell too.

Straight onto the same pile of puke.

Sun burst out laughing. “You guys are idiots.“

Ren, gripping the tree branches like his life depended on it, refused to move. “I swear, if any of that puke touches me…“

Jaune groaned, wiping his face. “I hate my life.“

Cardin, also covered in puke, glared at him. “This is your fault.“

“How is this my fault?!“

“You puked first.“

“And did you had to follow?!“

It took exactly five seconds for Jaune and Cardin to decide that the only logical course of action was to beat the shit out of each other.

No Aura.

Just pure drunken fistfighting.

It was sloppy, uncoordinated, and absolutely embarrassing to look at. Like inflated balloons trying to fight one another.

Sun, still watching from above, shook his head. “They’re really doing this when the whole world’s spinning.“

Ren sighed. “Just let them get it out of their system.“

Jaune swung—missed completely—and fell over.

Cardin tried to kick him, but stumbled backward and fell too.

And then—

Both of them passed out.

Double knockout.

Sun snorted. “Dumbasses.“

Sky and Dove, who had been in the tree the entire time, didn’t even react.

They were already asleep.

Didn’t care.

Didn’t even acknowledge what just happened.

Neptune, sitting off to the side, just shook his head and took another drink. “Man, this is why I don’t drink with you guys often.“

Sun sighed. “So, what do we do with them?“

Ren, still clinging to his tree branch, sighed. “We leave them there.“

Sun shrugged. “Fair enough.“

“No, we drink,” Sky demanded. “To the alcohol heaven.”

Jaune Arc was suffering.

His head pounded, his mouth was dry, and the sun was way too bright for his liking.

Also—

He was in a canoe.

In the middle of a stream inside the Emerald Forest.

With Cardin Winchester, who looked just as miserable and confused as he did.

“…How the fuck are we here?” Cardin grumbled, rubbing his temples.

Jaune shrugged, still trying to remember how last night ended. “No idea.“

“I swear to gods, if this is your fault—“

“Dude, I don’t even know how we got in this boat. Where did it even come from?“

And then—

Jaune turned his head slightly, realizing that they were not alone.

Ren sat at the front, looking completely composed, wearing a ridiculous straw hat like some ancient fisherman.

Sun was leaning against the side, still asleep, half-hanging over the edge.

Neptune was in the water, tied to a rope, getting dragged along like some unfortunate human buoy.

And Sky and Dove?

Also tied to Neptune.

Just floating along behind them like corpses in a crime scene.

Jaune blinked.

Cardin blinked.

Neither of them said anything for a solid ten seconds.

Then—

“What the actual fuck?“ Cardin finally muttered.

Jaune sighed, rubbing his face. “I don’t know, man. I don’t know.“

Jaune, finally taking in his surroundings, squinted ahead.

“Uh…“

“What now?“ Cardin grumbled.

“So, I think there’s a small waterfall ahead.“

Silence.

Then Cardin, still hungover as hell, looked up and squinted.

“Good thing we’re not in full armor,” he muttered.

Then they went over the edge.

Jaune’s life flashed before his eyes.

Cardin let out a single, girly shriek.

Ren, still wearing his hat, simply tilted it down slightly as if this was expected.

Then—

SPLASH.

Jaune’s Aura flared, as did everyone else’s.

And after a full minute of floating like drowned idiots, they all eventually washed up on the riverbank.

Jaune groaned. “I hate everything.“

“Same,” Cardin muttered.

Sun, still facedown in the mud: “Ugh… you Dumbasses.“

Cardin, still trying to make sense of his life choices, sat up and looked at Jaune.

“Okay,” he grunted. “How the hell did I end up hanging around faunus and idiots?“

Jaune, still lying in the grass, grinned despite his headache. “Because despite you being a racist piece of shit, I kinda understand why you have the hots for Velvet Scarlatina.“

Cardin choked on his own spit at that out of nowhere answer. “WHAT?!”

“Yeah, dude, it’s obvious.“

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, ARC.“

“No, really, it makes sense. She’s hot, she can kick your ass, and deep down, you’re just into that kind of kinky shit.“

Cardin groaned, covering his face. “You’re an actual retard.“

Jaune chuckled, completely unbothered. “Tell me I’m fucking wrong.”

After a moment, Cardin finally muttered, “Y’know, it’s kinda weird my ass isn’t kicked yet. I heard their team is… really good.”

Jaune shrugged. “Maybe because they’re just decent people? Unlike you.”

Cardin stared at him. “…Fuck you.”

“Fuck you too, buddy.“

Cardin sighed and gave up on thinking altogether, lying down to sleep.

Neptune, finally regaining full consciousness, jerked up in a panic.

“WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. WHY AM I IN THE WATER?!“

Sun, still half-asleep in the mud, barely lifted his head. “Man, I forgot you were even here.“

Neptune looked around in horror. “WHY AM I TIED TO THESE TWO?” He gestured to Sky and Dove, still unconscious.

Ren, still wearing his stupid hat, calmly said: “We had our reasons."

Jaune just rolled over, groaning.