Ever Happened

Jaune Arc had seen many battles.

Fought against Grimm. Dueled Huntsmen-in-training. Survived multiple suplexes from an aura amped Nora as of late.

But nothing—absolutely nothing—compared to the war he had waged as a child.

The War against his Seven Sisters.

Jaune shuddered at the memory.

His childhood had not been filled with training montages or sword-fighting lessons. No, his true struggle had been sitting completely still as his sisters experimented on him with every beauty product known to man.

It had started simple. Lip gloss here. A little blush there.

Then it evolved into eyeliner tests. Mascara battles. The horrors of wax strips.

Jaune had learned two truths in that time:

Makeup is a battlefield.

If you complain, they will make it worse.

So, like a soldier adapting to the trenches, he learned. He observed. He mastered.

And by the time he left home, Jaune Arc had gained a skill few Huntsmen could claim: Flawless makeup application.

But it was a skill he had buried for decades.

“Jaune! Jaune! I wish to engage in a most delightful experience!”

Jaune looked up from his book, blinking as Penny Polendina beamed at him, her hands clasped together like a kid asking for candy.

“Uh… sure?” he said. “What’s up?”

“I have never applied makeup before!” Penny declared. “And I would very much like to try it! I was informed that you are highly skilled in this field!”

Jaune froze.

Who told her that?!

He immediately suspected Weiss. That ice queen had a sharp eye for secrets.

Still, Penny looked so excited. And, well… Jaune had a soft spot for Penny.

“Alright,” he said, reluctantly closing his book. “I’ll help you out.”

That was mistake number one.

Mistake number two? Letting Ruby Rose overhear the conversation.

“WAIT,” Ruby cut in, her silver eyes lighting up with amusement.

She grinned.

“You? Jaune Arc? You know how to do makeup?”

Jaune sighed. He knew where this was going.

“Okay, fine,” he grumbled. “Sit down. I’ll do both of you.”

And just like that, Jaune thought of something fun.

One of them would walk away looking like a queen.

The other? Like an absolute mess.

“Okay, okay, stay still,” he muttered, his hands moving with the precision of an artist, carefully applying the finishing touches to Penny’s makeup.

Penny, sitting perfectly still, smiled brightly, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

“Oh, Friend Jaune! You are quite skilled in the art of cosmetics!” she chirped.

Jaune gave a satisfied nod, leaning back to admire his work.

“Oh dear, oh dear. Gorgeous.” he murmured, his voice filled with pure admiration. Penny beamed, tilting her head slightly as if to bask in the praise.

Truly, she looked flawless. A gentle touch of blush, expertly blended eyeshadow, just enough to enhance her features without overwhelming them. It was perfection.

Then he turned to Ruby.

And his entire demeanor changed instantly.

Jaune grabbed a brush and jabbed it against Ruby’s cheek like he was scrubbing a dirty floor.

“Hold still, you freaking donkey,” he barked.

Ruby coughed on the setting powder. “WHY ARE YOU SO ROUGH?!”

Jaune ignored her suffering and continued his aggressive artistry, absolutely manhandling her face as if he were fighting for his life.

“If you actually took care of your skin, I wouldn’t have to work so hard,” Jaune muttered, dipping into the foundation with the force of a blacksmith forging a weapon.

Ruby wriggled in protest. “Jaune! I don’t need this much!”

Jaune grabbed her chin, forcing her still.

“Shut up.”

Penny, watching in pure amusement, tilted her head. “Jaune, why are you being so mean to Ruby?”

Jaune, without missing a beat, gestured dramatically at Ruby.

Penny then thought it was a prank and somehow approved of it.

Jaune aggressively blended the foundation into Ruby’s face.

Ruby tried to escape.

Jaune did not allow it.

“Jaune, Jaune, I can do it myself—”

“No, you absolutely cannot.”

“You’re being unreasonable—”

“You have the skin of a dehydrated apple, Ruby.”

Penny gasped in mock-horror. “Jaune! That is quite rude!”

Jaune sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Penny, my dear, sweet, wonderful Penny. You are an angel. A perfect model for makeup application.”

Then he turned back to Ruby, pure disgust on his face.

“And you are a disaster.”

Ruby scowled, crossing her arms. “You know what? Maybe I don’t want makeup anymore.”

Jaune grabbed the setting powder.

“You don’t get a choice. You wanted this.”

Jaune carefully lined Penny’s eyes, making sure the wings were even and delicate.

Then, when it was Ruby’s turn, he shoved the pencil into her hand.

“Do it yourself.”

Ruby blinked. “Wait, what?”

Jaune leaned back, arms crossed, watching with the judgment of a disappointed father.

“You’re a Huntress, aren’t you? Steady hands? Precision? Let’s see it.”

Ruby squinted into the mirror, gripping the eyeliner like it was a sniper rifle.

And then—

She immediately fucked it up.

The line was crooked as hell. One side was thicker than the other.

Jaune sighed so hard it could have moved mountains.

“Unbelievable. That’s what you call ‘accuracy’? That’s what your Uncle Qrow taught you?”

Ruby pouted. “Shut up. Why would Uncle Qrow know about makeup!?”

Jaune, with delicate precision, applied a subtle, rosy lip color to Penny.

“Ah! This feels so lovely!” Penny cheered, delighted by the new sensation.

Jaune nodded in approval, looking at his work like he had just painted the Mona Lisa.

Then he turned back to Ruby.

Jaune immediately tossed the lipstick at her.

“You’re on your own.”

Ruby barely caught it, staring in betrayal. “WHAT? Why does Penny get the royal treatment and I get thrown to the wolves?!”

Jaune leaned forward, placing a hand on her shoulder, voice lowering.

“Because, Penny is a graceful, beautiful, elegant young robo-woman.”

Then, he looked Ruby dead in the eyes.

“And you are a feral raccoon with a cookie addiction.”

Penny giggled while Ruby looked personally attacked.

“Jaune,” Penny said sweetly. “I believe you are being rather harsh.”

Jaune sighed, rubbing his temples. “I know, I know. I should be kinder. I’m still having a grudge because a certain red-riding hood snitching on me. Okay, if it's for you, Friend Penny. I'd forgive her for telling on us about the booze."”

Ruby brightened slightly, thinking maybe she was getting some mercy as Jaune dully worked.

Jaune then stepped back, taking one last look at his work.

Penny, stunning and radiant, smiled as if she had just walked off a runway.

Ruby?

Ruby looked like she had just survived a war.

She scowled, covered in powder, eyeshadow smeared from where she rubbed it, lipstick slightly crooked.

She hated everything.

Penny, however, clapped her hands excitedly. “This was so much fun!”

Jaune smiled at her, pleased. “Oh dear, oh dear. Gorgeous.”

Then he turned to Ruby.

“You look like a donkey.”

Ruby slowly wiped her face, standing up with purpose.

Jaune, realizing something was wrong, narrowed his eyes.

“What are you doing?”

Ruby grinned.

“Oh, nothing.”

Then she lunged for him.

Jaune screamed as Ruby smeared her remaining lipstick all over his face.

Penny just watched in delight, clapping her hands.

“Friendship is wonderful!”

"Stop! It's a prank!"

Jaune should’ve known that agreeing to this was a mistake.

One moment, he was applying subtle, elegant makeup to Penny, making sure she looked regal—like robotic princess.

Then another second, he was being tackled to the floor while Ruby Rose was about to turned his face into a crime scene!

“Penny, hold him down!” Ruby cackled, wielding a mascara wand like a weapon.

“With pleasure!” Penny giggled, easily pinning Jaune to the ground like he weighed nothing.

Jaune struggled. “Penny, I trusted you!”

“I trust you too, Friend Jaune!” Penny beamed. “That is why I know you will forgive me for this!”

“Y-You—?! Ruby, no! That’s not how eyeliner works—”

Splat.

Something cold and wet, smeared across his cheeks. Ruby was moving too fast, too chaotically, laughing like a mad scientist.

Jaune saw his reflection in Penny’s polished metal eyes.

Oh. Oh no.

He looked like a clown.

Red smears, uneven eyeliner, blush that made him look like he had a fever.

Ruby burst out laughing.

“Oh my Brothers—LOOK AT YOU!” she howled, doubling over in laughter.

Jaune sat up slowly, touching his face.

He was a mess.

And not even an aesthetically pleasing mess.

“Ruby,” Jaune said, eerily calm.

She wiped a tear from her eye. “Oh, man! This is the best day ever! I need to take a picture—”

Jaune moved.

Like a Huntsman analyzing a battlefield, he assessed the situation.

Penny was still sitting next to him.
Ruby was too busy laughing to react.

Solution?

DISCOMBOBULATE.

Jaune grabbed a powder compact, flicked it open, and blew a cloud of it into Ruby’s face.

“GAH! MY EYES—JAUNE, YOU CHEAP—”

He ripped Crescent Rose from her back and bolted.

The second the weight of her beloved scythe left her body, Ruby froze.

Then, in a voice filled with horror:

“...You. Did. NOT. ”

Jaune ran like hell.

Behind him, a monstrous shriek rang through the air.

“JAUNE ARC, GIVE HER BACK RIGHT NOW!”

She had stolen his sword.

The chase was on.

The courtyard was filled with students practicing sparring drills, but all training stopped when Jaune Arc and Ruby Rose burst onto the scene.

One of them had Crescent Rose.

The other had Crocea Mors.

Neither looked like they were going to fight fair.

Weiss, watching from the sidelines, pinched the bridge of her nose.

“What in the world are they doing again?”

Ren, standing next to her, took a sip of his tea.

“They’re being idiots again.”

The crowd parted as Ruby lunged at Jaune, swinging Crocea Mors wildly.

“STAND STILL, YOU THIEF!”

Jaune dodged, flipped Crescent Rose open, and parried the strike.

“Oh wow,” Jaune mocked, grinning as he countered her attack. “Look at me! I’m Ruby Rose! I love Crescent Rose so much, but I can’t even keep it safe and maintained!”

Ruby growled, attacking even harder. “YOU—GIVE. HER. BACK.”

Jaune laughed. Then spun Crescent Rose in his hands, twirling the massive weapon with an ease that should have been impossible. The weight of the scythe, its intricate transformation system, the recoil of the high-caliber rifle built into it, none of it seemed to slow him down.

And that was a problem.

A huge problem.

Ruby barely had time to block as Jaune swung at her. Her weapon. Against her.

WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON?

“What’s the matter, Ruby?” Jaune called out in an eerily familiar mocking sing-song tone.

He jumped back, planting one foot on the ground and twisting his whole body into a spinning scythe strike.

It was exactly how Ruby fought.

That terrified her.

HOW WAS HE COPYING ME?

She barely deflected the attack, stumbling back.

Jaune landed gracefully, rolling Crescent Rose across his shoulders before flicking it back into a combat stance.

“I thought you were supposed to be the best with Crescent Rose?” he teased, his voice filled with maddening amusement.

Ruby gritted her teeth. “Oh, I AM.”

She lunged, her hands tightening around Crocea Mors.

Jaune grinned.

The battle became a dance.

Jaune moved too fast—faster than he had any right to.

At first, Ruby thought it was just his usual Aura-enhanced speed. But then she saw it—

He was boosting himself.

Jaune’s Semblance, his Aura Amping, was in full effect.

He wasn’t just wielding Crescent Rose.

He was matching her fighting style, increasing his own speed and reflexes to copy exactly how she fought.

If Ruby was a blur of red petals

Jaune was a blur of blue.

And it was working.

What the actual hell?

“W-When did you—how did you—WHY CAN YOU DO THIS?!” Ruby yelped as she parried a vicious upward strike.

Jaune, still grinning like an absolute menace, shrugged. “Dunno! Guess I’m a natural? I think she likes me. Can I keep her?”

“HELL. NO.”

He vaulted over her, twisting midair before bringing Crescent Rose down in a brutal overhand slash.

Ruby barely sidestepped, feeling the wind pressure as it split the air next to her.

From the sidelines, Penny clapped excitedly.

“This is wonderful! What an amazing display of skill, Friend Jaune!”

Yang blinked. “Uh… is it just me, or is Jaune scarily good with Ruby’s weapon?”

Blake narrowed her eyes. “No, he’s definitely good. Too good.”

Weiss, watching with growing horror, pinched the bridge of her nose.

“This is BLASPHEMY.”

Ren simply sipped his tea. “This is confusing.”

Nora was cackling. “LOOK AT HIM GO!”

Meanwhile, Pyrrha was unsure what was happening, wondering if this was going to be a thing now.

Jaune pressed the attack.

He spun Crescent Rose, the blade glinting in the light as he launched himself forward.

Ruby dug her heels in, blocking desperately.

She had never been on this side of a Crescent Rose duel before.

She hated it.

Jaune pivoted, using the scythe’s recoil to launch himself into another rapid attack.

And for the first time in her entire life—

Ruby Rose was barely keeping up with Crescent Rose.

Ruby growled, dodging another strike before rolling backward.

She had to do something drastic.

Otherwise, Jaune might actually win.

While holding her weapon.

And that was unacceptable.

So, she did the only logical thing.

She threw Crocea Mors at his face.

Jaune barely dodged in time.

That split-second distraction was all she needed.

She tackled him.

They went tumbling across the ground, limbs tangled, Crescent Rose flipping through the air before clattering on the stone pavement.

Ruby pinned Jaune down, eyes burning with victory.

“GIVE. ME. MY. BABY. BACK.”

Jaune groaned, then fake blushing. “Jeez, Rubes. At least take me out to dinner first.”

Ruby snapped.

And slugged him with aura-infused fist.

The battle was over.

Ruby was hunched over Crescent Rose, hugging her weapon like a protective mother shielding her child from a predator.

Her eyes were narrow.

Her body was tense.

And most importantly—

She was hissing at Jaune.

Like a feral cat.

Jaune, hands raised in surrender, took a slow step forward. “Okay, okay, I get it. You’re mad. I accept that.”

Ruby hissed louder.

Jaune sighed. “Look, I’m sorry for stealing Crescent Rose—”

Ruby arched her back.

“—and I promise to make it up to you.”

Ruby tilted her head slightly.

Jaune seized the opportunity.

“I’ll clean Crescent Rose for you.”

Ruby stopped hissing.

She narrowed her eyes again, lifting a hand—

And swiped at Jaune like a kitten.

Jaune barely dodged, stumbling back.

Penny clapped excitedly. “I did not know Ruby could produce feline noises! That was adorable!”

Yang was on the ground, wheezing. “Oh my God, she’s actually hissing!”

Blake, sitting on a nearby bench, silently sipped her tea. “So this is what it feels like to be on the other side…”

Weiss looked at Ruby, then at Jaune, then back at Ruby. She was considering her life choices.

Ren, looking vaguely amused, muttered, “At least no one is crashing at a tower this time.”

Nora just kept laughing.

“So,” Yang finally gasped out, still laughing, “what I wanna know is—how the hell can you even use Crescent Rose like that?!”

The laughter died down as everyone turned toward Jaune.

Jaune, sensing he was now the center of interrogation, quickly dusted himself off.

“Well, I went on this secret training, right?” He started dramatically.

Ruby immediately stopped growling.

Weiss rolled her eyes.

“Oh no, not this again,” Blake muttered.

Jaune ignored them and continued with all the grandeur of a bard spinning a legendary tale.

“I met this wonderful girl,” he said, putting a hand over his heart, “who brought a message of hope to the stars.”

Everyone blinked.

“She wielded a scythe just like Ruby…” Jaune paused, then smirked. “But better. Cooler at it.”

Ruby jerked up.

Her head snapped toward Jaune so fast that Weiss almost heard her neck break.

“EXCUSE ME?!”

Jaune just grinned. “Yeah. She was smoother. Faster. More precise.”

Ruby’s eye twitched.

Penny, concerned, patted Ruby’s shoulder. “Friend Ruby, are you okay?”

Ruby was not okay.

Ruby was about to start screaming about how nobody wields a scythe better than her when—

Everyone has a limit.

Ruby was about to reach it.

Jaune, sensing danger, did the only thing he could.

He offered a cookie.

Her favorite kind of cookie.

Ruby froze.

Her eyes flicked to the chocolate chip cookie.

Jaune, knowing how predictable she was, slowly wiggled it in front of her face.

Penny, the sweetest girl there is, also held out a cookie with an enthusiastic smile.

Ruby glared at Jaune.

Then at the cookie.

Then back at Jaune.

Then at Penny.

And finally, with great reluctance, she snatched the cookie.

“…Truce,” she muttered, munching aggressively.

Jaune sagged in relief as he gave a high-five to Penny.

Who seems to be having fun at the chaos.

Pyrrha looked at the three and then asked Weiss sincerely.

"So, what was happening?"

"Something stupid."

"Oh."

Pyrrha accepted that.