JohnVris and Bubbline
Welcome back, darlings. It’s me, the one and only, Mettaton Blook. Today’s episode is brought to you by John Peter’s imaginary corn and the MO Foundation for transhumanist studies. In this episode we are going to see how was the marital exchange between a suburban family and an entrepreneurial one. Vriska Serket was John Egbert’s childhood sweetheart since middle school, but they stayed as friends mostly until John confessed his feelings for her. Her life has been full of hardships, but thanks to rehabilitation and her friend’s support she became a productive member of society. Marceline Abadeer is the daughter of senator Hunson Abadeer, and her life of glamour isn’t as shiny as the special effects in her shows. She lived with her mom in Queens, and after she passed away Marceline was raised by a nice couple of ancient history experts. What happens when two bad girls from different backgrounds change places? Let’s see, shall we?
Stormo Tower, New York City.
“I can’t believe my wife for a week is the richest person in the world!”
Vriska dear, you should now that I am richer than Bonnibel Bubblegum, and Forbes con prove it. Anyway, the Stormo tower is the biggest building in the city, with private security, it’s own self sustainable energy source, an hydroponic farm, a fallout shelter, ten research labs, and the biggest candy store in the USA. This place is like a small kingdom, and Bonnibel has tried to buy the land from the government.
Maple Valley, Washington.
“All the houses look the same, and that makes this place a bit creepy.”
To help Marcy, we indicated that John and Vriska’s house is the one with a green slime ghost and a blue spider.
“This means I have to take care of how many children?”
Don’t worry Marcy, Vriska left a manual.
“A baby girl doesn’t sound so bad, but I am still curious about the family that lives here. The husband looks like a total nerd, and the wife looks like a punk. I like her style.”
Now it is time for the presentations.
Stormo Tower.
“Greetings, I am Bonnibel Bubblegum.”
“Vriska Egbert. Hey, I must say that I am surprised to be here. This place kicks ass!”
“The Stormo tower is the greatest architectural creation yet and we are planning to make it bigger.”
“Do you have like a video game room? That always is needed in millionaire mansions.”
“Room 8000.”
“Nice.”
Maple Valley.
“Oh my god! I can’t believe Marceline is in my house.”
“Do you want a signature, budy?”
“Yes, please!”
“Oh hi there little girl. I guess she is Casey.”
“You know my daughter’s name!”
John squealed every time Marceline did something cool. Casey just giggled.
During the first day each wife had to live the life of the other, and the differences in life styles showed at the beginning. First, Vriska went to Marceline’s studio in the tower and played with her band, the Scream Queens. The only song Vriska knew how to sing was How Do I Live Without You, and the girls in the band agreed that it could be a nice cover for their next concert. Also, Vriska had to attend a meeting of the tower, where the representatives of each of Bonnibel International’s sections talked about new products or ideas. It is interesting that all representatives are women.
Stormo Tower.
“Okay, girls, we need ideas for a new toy for Chirstmas.”
“What about a make your own doll kit?”
“Raggedy, we can’t make another doll after your idea for Valentine’s day. Any more ideas?”
“Yo, PB, what about a set of make up that can be erased easily?”
“That’s too simple.”
“Maybe a small kitchen?”
“A set of weighs for kids?”
“A small bouncing castle?”
“YOU ALL ARE TOO BORING!”
Everyone was surprised at Vriska’s outburst.
“You all don’t seem to know what kids like to play with. All you are suggesting are toys for small kids that are already made by shitty companies. Kids like to play with space ships, video games and swords.”
“Vriska, those are mostly toys for boys, and the demographic we are studying is little girls.”
“Believe me, I never played with those girly toys in my childhood, and not just because my mother didn’t bought me any. For example of how boring these products are, that Bonnibel’s Science Musical Adventure made my daughter sleep because of all the boring tunes. It wouyld have been more interesting if it was a narrated adventure tale with pirates and stuff.”
At Maple Valley, Marceline had to work with Vriska’s friend, Terezi, with the art for their next indie game. Both women designed a landscape with many shades of red. Later, she had to spend time with John and Casey.
Maple Valley.
“John, the baby is crying!”
“She calms down with singing.”
“That is good to know. Ahem, You look so cute sitting in your boat. I wanna suck out your raw blood…”
“Marceline, I don’t think that is an appropriate song for a baby.”
“Okay, I have something else. Everything stays…”
Marceline and Casey became pretty close thanks to Marcy's musical talent, but her voice wouldn’t save her from what is to come.
“What are we watching tonight, Egbert?”
“You are gonna love it! Every night Vriska and I watch some films that are pretty good. Tonight we are watching a remake of Conair, with Mettaton Blook as Cameron Poe.”
Johnny, I appreciate that you like my acting, but that was my worst film ever. I should have made a remake of the Goonies instead. Not every movie can be saved with my talent.
For the first two days some problems started appearing.
Stormo Tower.
“Vriska, I haven’t met a messier person than my wife!”
“Chill out, princess. I have been working to make the new product you asked me to make.”
“I didn’t mean that you could break some of the building’s electronics and spread broken eight balls through the apartment! You have to respect property and have some decency.”
“You are such a control freak.”
“You are a control freak!”
These two had a power struggle that could be heard through the intercoms of the tower.
Maple Valley.
“Why did you burn my DVD collection!”
“It was for the greater good, John.”
The wives established some rules to change the way things were going.
Stormo Tower.
“The first rule is that you have to stop being a tight ass.”
“That doesn’t count as a reasonable rule.”
“The second rule is that we have to change all this girly stuff. It’s is kind of creepy to look at those candy animatronics.”
“The Candy People are part of my brand, you can’t change them!”
“The third rule is that you need more entertaining in this room. All your video games are from the arcade age, and that AMO machine is shitty. Can we ask that Moe guy to make something more interesting?”
Maple Valley.
“The first rule is that you have to buy DVDs from the section of good movies. I mean, Oscar winners and indie movies. No more 90s garbage that is rated low by Rotten Tomatoes.
“That sounds reasonable.”
“Also, we are going shopping. You need more clothes than just those t shirts.”
In the last few days each of the participants had some emotions to let flow.
Stormo Tower.
“And then I entered rehab after I almost killed a friend.”
“I am so sorry.”
“John helped me through the process, and I was already broken because of my previous relationship. Sometimes I thought about suicide.”
“I can’t know what it feels like, but I understand.”
“For most of my life I have been a bitch, but I needed the help of my friends to know where I was wrong.”
“I have been kind of a bitch too. I always thought I knew everyone in my company, but after hearing a few people talking bad stuff about me I started spying on everyone and establishing cruel punishments. I didn’t cared that I was invading their privacy until it was too late. My friends help me too, and I am grateful that my wife supported me to get back to where I am.”
“For good friends.”
“For good friends.”
Maple Valley.
“And then Simon was sent to an asylum. I visited him for years, but I was getting depressed of how badly his mental problems had gone. It took more years for Betty to help him live a peaceful life.”
“They sound like good people.”
“Yes, they are. It is hard to find people that love each other and everyone that much.”
“I wish Vriska and I could be like that… not the mental problems part.”
“Is something wrong?”
“Well, we love each other, but I fear that being parents and work has taken some of our time. We only watch movies and play video games… but our intimacy has been decreasing.”
“Yeah, I understand the intimacy part. PB and I barely spent time time with each other. We used to play music together, but now she is just a listener.”
“We should fix our shit now.”
“I agree, windy boy.”
Now it is time for the wives to return their respective homes. Also, there is going to be a virtual meeting between the families.
Stormo Tower.
“Marceline!”
“Bonnibel!”
The next scene was censored. We warned them about not having sex during this show. We told them, dog.
Maple Valley.
“John, are you going to play something with that bass?”
“How do I… get through one night without you…”
Now it is time for the meeting.
“John, your wife is an emotional wreck, but she is good at making people do their jobs and beating the shit out of certain waxed asshole.”
“PB, Marceline is the best musician in the whole world, and you are lucky to have her as your wife.”
“We married such nerds, don’t you think, Vampire Queen?”
“And we love them for that.”
“I agree.”
This was such an emotional episode that I want to cry! However, I am professional and I will continue being the best host Wife Swap has ever had. Next week we are having another interesting exchange between a traditional family from Ireland and a family of badasses from Texas.
Sans Gaster and Toriel Gaster.
“This lady is the pun master, and she is even better than me.”
“You aren’t so baaaaaad.”
“Hehe. That pun needs some context though.”
Sans is a police officer and Toriel is a house wife. Both live in a small village of Ireland with their adopted child, Frisk, and Sans’ brother, Papyrus. Their hobbies include making corny jokes and cooking.
Krieg and Maya (we couldn’t get their full names).
“I will break your skulls, people at the other side of the screen!”
“He is happy that we are participating in a tv show.
Krieg and Maya are wrestlers from the WWE, and they met during a tournament fight. They live in a mobile house in Dallas, and they have an adoptive daughter named Tina. Krieg has brain damage because of a fight with a guy named El Guapo Jack, and he also suffers from Tourette Syndrome.