Swiss Cake Rolls
Poe learns that they deal with stress and anxiety in different ways.
He dives head-first into wedding planning. Deciding not to get married at work, he researches every single wedding and event venue in the city and even a few dozen upstate. He makes pros and cons lists of wedding dates and cross references them with venues and what flowers are in season. He makes playlists and pins so many things on Pinterest he’s surprised he hasn’t broken the website yet. He’s gone to maybe seven paint shops and collected hundreds of paint swatches to coordinate every color scheme under the sun. He’s already had five phone calls with different travel agents to price out honeymoon options.
Finn eats Swiss Cake Rolls by the case and watches Die Hard movies over and over. He doesn’t talk very much. He doesn’t go out on morning jogs with Poe and he eats almost a whole pizza by himself. Finn has zero sex drive but he’s surprisingly snuggly and Poe swears he’s gained like, five or seven pounds in the last few weeks which makes his stomach a little more squishy. He takes hour long showers. It doesn’t help he got fired last week for not showing up. He doesn’t push Poe away and he doesn’t participate in the wedding planning, and Poe gets it. He gives him his space. One night Finn fell asleep on the couch watching Die Hard With a Vengence and instead of bringing him to bed he let him stay there.
So when the captain of the plane announces they are landing in Des Moines, Poe is so relieved. They can finally get this over with. Finn takes Poe’s hand as they walk all the way to baggage claim. While they stand around side-by-side waiting, Poe rests his head on Finn’s shoulder. Finn squeezes his hand tighter and rests his head on Poe’s head.
“I love you,” Finn says.
“I know,” Poe answers.
“Finn?”
They turn around to see the tallest woman Poe has ever seen standing behind them. Finn instantly parts and breaks the hand holding and moves to hug her. She’s wearing a very modest grey cable knit sweater and jeans, boots with heels—because she’s not tall enough as it is apparently—and a red scarf around her neck. Her short blonde hair and red lipstick puncuate her staccato appearance in a way that makes Poe both attracted and terrified.
“Hey sis,” Finn says when they part their hug. “Good to see you.”
“I’ve missed you,” she replies, looking at Poe. “Who is this?”
Finn smiles. “Phasma, this is my fiancé Poe Dameron.”
Her jaw drops. “What?”
Finn holds up his hand and shows her the ring. “We’re getting married.”
She sighs and rolls her eyes. “How could you be so selfish, Finn?”
Poe bites his lip. He swore six ways to Sunday he wouldn’t speak up or retort this weekend but it’s already trying his limits. Instead he smiles, sticks out his hand and introduces himself like the good fiancé he is.
“Hi, Phasma. I’ve heard a lot about you, good to finally meet you. I’m Poe.”
Surprisingly, her face softens and she shakes his hand. “I’m sorry. Daddy’s illness has been hard and I just…I was hoping Finn would avoid making a scene.”
“Nice to meet you too,” Poe replies.
“I’m introducing my future husband to my family whether they like it or not,” Finn interjects. “Now let’s get our bags. We can drop Poe off at the motel…”
“My guest room has a queen sized bed, there’s room for both of you,” Phasma says.
Finn gives her a double take. “So you are okay with me sharing a bed with a man in your house?”
“I’ve never had an issue with your lifestyle choice,” she says, causing Poe’s inner snark to rage. “I was just against you subjecting the rest of the family to it.”
Poe grabs their bags and follows Finn and Phasma to the car and swears to god he better get the best sex he’s ever had when they get home for all this trouble.
~
Dinner goes surprisingly well. Poe offers to do the dishes to give Finn some time with his adopted sister. Afterwards, he slinks back to the guest room and changes into a really dorky set of matching plaid pajamas he bought specifically for this trip because he wanted to appear modest and husband-y. He curls up in bed with his phone and starts searching through his wedding pins, trying to distract himself from the impending yelling as Finn inevitably will get into a fight with Phasma like he was warned.
Poe’s eyes get heavy and he ends up falling asleep before that happens.
~
When Poe wakes up, Finn is curled around him snoring and drooling on the pillow in his matching plaid pajama clothes. Poe extracts himself from Finn’s arms and plants a kiss to his forehead before venturing out into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. He hopes Phasma drinks coffee because it’s just a nice little gesture to put himself her in good graces.
Sure enough, she has a very expensive coffee machine and some amazing flavored coffees to chose from. He picks something with hazelnut in it and starts texting Rey while leaning against the counter.
‘I’m pretty sure I’m going to get lynched’
‘I still can’t believe he took you’
‘phasma is like one of the people who is a total homophobe but claims not to be’
‘those are the worst’
‘give me a nazi anyday, at least with them I know where I stand’
She replies with a picture of BeeBee the 8th wearing a waffle on his head which gets a laugh from Poe.
“Good morning,” Phasma enters, wearing a while silk robe. Her hair is sticking up and it’s kind of cute, but Poe doesn’t giggle.
“Good morning,” Poe stands, putting the phone in his pocket. “I started coffee, I hope that’s okay.”
“That’s perfect, thank you Poe,” she reaches into the cabinet and pulls out three mugs. She then digs for a tea kettle and fills it. “Sleep well?”
“I did, thank you. And thank you for letting me stay here. If it makes you uncomfortable I can always leave.”
“It’s fine, really,” she turns to smile briefly before pulling out some hot cocoa mix for Finn. “Thanks for cleaning up last night.”
“Of course. I thought you and Finn needed to catch up.”
“You were hiding from me.”
Poe shakes his head and rubs the back of his neck. “Nah, really.”
“When Finn came out it really messed with daddy and mom.” She starts making Finn’s drink and pours them coffee, handing a mug to Poe. “Do you know anything about our religion?”
Poe takes the mug and nods. “Finn doesn’t talk about it much, but I’ve done some research, like reading some Watchtower stuff too.”
She smirks, leaning against the counter beside Poe. “I’m only still in it because of daddy. Truth is I don’t believe in any of it. But, I stay just as active as I have to so I can avoid suspicion. I take it Finn doesn’t even practice at all.”
“No, he doesn’t.”
“What about you?”
“Grew up raised by atheists. But I’m not one of those jerk ones, live and let live I say.” He sips his coffee nervously.
“Cheers to that,” Phasma clinks her mug to Poe’s. “Come on, let’s sit down and get to know each other.”
~
By the time Finn wakes up and pads out to the living room, Poe and Phasma are laughing over baby pictures.
“He was so cute,” Poe points, giggling.
“When we were little, he couldn’t say my name. He called me ‘Zazza’ until he was four.” She sighs, turning the page. “Here he is naked in the tub. But I’m sure you’ve seen that before,” she winks.
Poe blushes a little. “I’m sure you don’t want to think about your baby brother like that.”
“You better be good to him, that’s all I say. And no sex in my guestroom.”
Poe grabs his stomach and leans back into the couch laughing. “I promise.”
“Good morning,” Finn says, interrupting the fun.
“Hey babe…Finn,” Poe corrects, standing to give him a kiss on the cheek. “I can heat up your hot cocoa for you.”
“What’s for breakfast?” he asks, sitting down in the armchair.
“Whatever you choose to make,” Phasma teases.
Poe goes into the kitchen and nukes Finn’s cocoa, hovering in the doorway of the living room when he hears them talking.
“He’s pretty great Finn,” Phasma says. “And cute.”
“I’m glad you like him,” Finn replies. “I know it’s been so fast but he’s amazing. He treats me so well and I can’t imagine my life without him in it.”
“I wouldn’t have the balls to do what you are doing, bringing him home like this to meet daddy and mom. I’m pretty sure they’ll slam the door in your face.”
“I know, I’m expecting it. And I really considered bringing Rey but…if they won’t take me as is then I don’t want to have a relationship with them anyway. Besides, he means so much to me and I want the family to know that.”
“Seriously?”
“I’m going to marry him and we’re going to buy a house someday and we’ll have a bunch of kids. I don’t know if we’ll adopt or surrogate but we’ll have like four. We’ll grow old together. I don’t want to be 90 years old and look back on my life and regret not having at least tried to introduce him to my family. Give my parents one last shot to be a part of all that.”
Poe wipes tears away as he enters the living room and hands Finn his drink. “Did you mean that?”
“Of course I did,” Finn stands and pulls Poe in for a kiss. “I love you.”
“I love you,” Poe replies, touching his forehead to Finn’s.
“I approve,” Phasma says, standing. “I’m going to get dressed. We can stop for breakfast before we go over to house. No sex on my couch. I haven’t even had sex on it yet.”
“Come on babe, let’s go get dressed. I packed my most amazing argyle sweater vest,” Finn smiles.
“You ready for this?” Poe asks sincerely.
“As ready as I will ever be. Besides, I just want to get back to things. I need to lose this depressed weight and find a job.”
“And help me plan our wedding?” Poe asks.
“As long as you are there, it will be perfect.”
“Dammit Finn,” he kisses him again.
~
“You ready for this?”
Poe looks at Finn, who is trembling. He looks to Phasma, who is smiling from the driver’s seat of her car at them in the back.
“Yeah,” Finn replies. “You babe?”
Poe nods. “I will follow your lead. You want me to go and I’m gone. I’ll speak only when spoken to and I promise not to touch you or hold your hand or anything.”
“No, you will do all of those things. Be yourself, please,” Finn locks eyes with him. “Got it?”
“Anything for you.”
“You two are so gross,” Phasma snickers. “Let’s go.”
The three of them get out of the car and walk up to the front door. Phasma rings the bell and a woman answers.
“Baby,” she says, wrapping her arms around Phasma. She’s short, black, wearing a pink dress. Her eyes sparkle and she is clearly where Finn got his smile from. This is Finn’s mother. Holy shit, Poe thinks. He’s meeting Finn’s mother. She is going to slap him and scream about hell and the sins of the flesh and fuck, that’s Finn’s mother.
“FINN!” She shouts, pushing Phasma aside and pulling her son into a huge hug. “I had no idea you were coming home baby.”
“Mom,” he chokes. Poe doesn’t need to see his face to know that he’s crying.
“My baby,” she says, pushing him away to grab his face in her hands. “I’m so glad you came home.”
“Mom, I want you to meet someone.” Finn turns around and wipes the tears from his face. “This is Poe Dameron.”
She tilts her head just a little. “You brought a friend to family dinner? Well, I didn’t set enough places even for you so I can always add more more.”
“He’s not my friend, mom.” Finn reaches for Poe’s hand and takes it. “He’s my fiancé.”
Her jaw drops and if it wasn’t for the fact that this was reality Poe would burst out laughing. Every adorable facial expression Finn has ever made has come directly from this woman. Poe nods and reaches out a hand. “I’m Poe Dameron, it’s so wonderful to finally meet meet you M’am.”
She snaps her jaw shut and stares at his hand. “Your fiancé. Uhm, darling…I thought it was just a phase.”
“Being gay is not a phase mother,” Finn asserts. “I brought my fiancé home to meet my family and if he’s not welcome then I’m not coming in the door.”
She darts her gaze between the three of them for a moment. “Your father is sick, Finn sweetie you can’t expect him to…this is against the word of Jehovah.”
“I’m not a Witness mom, not anymore.” Finn squeezes Poe’s hand and Poe can feel how hard he’s trembling. “Can we come in?”
“You can’t tell…look your auntie and your cousins are here and they do not approve. They just voted last week to remove someone from the Hall because she was a les..liked girls.” Her face grows pained. “I love you so much baby.”
“Apparently not enough,” Finn says.
“Fine, you can come in. Only because I want to see you but if daddy says you have to leave then you have to go.” She nods. “And he’s not your fiancé, he’s your friend. From New York, who is also a Witness. Got it?”
“You want me to lie?” Poe speaks up, feeling stupid the moment it comes out of his mouth.
Finn turns to him and nods, taking his ring off and shoving it in his pocket. He leans over and whispers in Poe’s ear “I got a plan.”
Trusting him, Poe takes a deep breath and follows Finn inside.