Maybe

**Lexas POV**

Her alarm went off, she felt like she had barely slept at all. She rolled over and felt Costia next to her. Lexa opened her eyes and they met Costias in the dark.

“You have to go soon if you want to get to your bus in time.” Lexa nodded she reached out and cupped the other girl cheek who leaned in automatically.

“Costia.”

Costia shook her head. “ I know….We need some time apart.”

Lexa just nodded, “I still love you.”

“I love you too, but I need to figure out whats going on with my head, and I can’t string you along for the ride it isn’t fair.” Lexa thought about that for a minute, Cos was right, Lexa knew she loved her but she didn’t know in what way.

“While you figure out what you need with your head, I need to figure out what I want with my heart. I love you I always will, but I don’t know if it’s the same anymore. We barely have time together… what we had going wasn’t a real relationship anymore. “

Costias eyes began to water at Lexas words, causing Lexas heart to ache. She pulled Costias face close to hers and pressed a kiss softly to her lips. Neither of them moved to deepen the kiss, this was their goodbye. Three years, who knew if they could ever find their way back to each other. Lexa stopped the kiss pressing their foreheads together.

She nodded her head and got out of the bed. She got her stuff together and started walking to the door when she looked back at Costia who had sat up and watching her. Lexa turned to leave when she heard Costia scrambling behind her.

She turned to see what she was doing and was caught by surprise when Costia had her around the waist and was hugging her with what felt like all her might.

“Maybe one day we will be together again Lex. But if not, you are and forever will be my best friend, please don’t let that change.”

Lexa nodded, hugging the girl back. “I won’t.” She pressed a kiss to her head before turning her body away and walking out the door, before Costia could see the tears that had found themselves rolling down her cheeks.

She knew that the breakup was needed, she really did, but it still hurt. It made her want to run and never stop running. Costia had been a constant in her life for so long, six years to be exact, she would have to learn who she was without her, because while they had been best friends before Lexa always felt something more. She got to the bus stop and sighed and shook her head, trying to clear her mind.

The bus pulled up and Lexa stepped on, she found a seat towards the back and looked out the window. She didn’t expect to see what she did. Nia was standing near the bus stop leaning against a building, watching as the bus pulled away.

Lexa shivered, that girl seriously gave her the creeps, she didn’t like that Costia and her were so close.

She would need to keep in contact with Costia to make sure she was okay, it wasn’t good for her to let Nia mess with her head so much.

Lexa was exhausted but she was too worried about Clarke to sleep, she wanted to talk to her but she knew it was ridiculously early on a Saturday and she was hopefully sleeping.

Lexa sighed and unlocked her phone opened her photos going to her new album with Clarkes pictures, they calmed her down. Clarke could create beautiful things. Lexa just realized she barely knew anything about Clarke. She doesn’t know her major, her age, if she has brother or sisters, all she knows is Clarke has horrible taste in men. Oh and she’s a cuddler, that last one made her smile.

How could she know so little about someone and feel the urge to protect them so strong. It was a new thing for her, Lexa did not attach herself easily but she was definitely attached to Clarke. Knowing that she had been in trouble and she wasn’t there for her didn’t sit well with her. Lexas eyes bulged, she had known Clarkes two weeks! That was nothing in time, that brat wiggled her way into Lexas life without Lexa noticing, but seemed like she would be there to stay that is if Lexa had any say in the matter.

**Clarkes POV**

 She woke up with her head pounding, she could barely sit up in bed. She needed to puke. Clarke rolled out of her bed and stumbled her way to the bathroom barely making it on time. She sat on the bathroom floor, god she was such a light weight. She felt her lips, it was swollen, she concentrated trying to remember why. Finn. Clarke felt tears come to her eyes again. What was he turning into?

She told him she wanted Lexa, not a good move when your ex boyfriend was turning into a psycho. But she did, she wanted Lexa bad. She missed her like she hadn’t seen her in days yet she saw her yesterday morning in class. She went and sat on her bed and looked around. Octavia never came home last night.

Clarke picked up her phone and started going through messages. Her eyes widened, she saw the texts between her and Lexa. She thought her talking to Lexa last night had been a dream! Did that really mean Lexa was on her way back!? Clarke saw that it was eleven twenty. Lexa just said she would be here early, Clarke wondered what time that meant.

*Knocking*

Clarkes eyes widened, there was no way that was Lexa, she knew that ride from Costias college was like four hours, Lexa wouldn’t leave that early just for her, would she?

“Clarke?”

There was her answer. Clarke jumped off her bed and ran to the door, she threw it open to see the brunette standing there with her fist raised ready to knock again.

Clarkes heart started beating in her chest so hard, she thought it was going to explode.

“You really came.” Lexa just frowned at her. She was so beautiful, everything about her, from her hair in the high bun to her eyes, her mouth, and her jaw. Clarke was staring. She bit her lip and winced, she forgot about the cut already there.

“Can I come on?” Clarke face palmed, she was an idiot.

“Yeah sorry! Um sorry it’s such a mess.” Lexa just walked in and turned around observing the room.

She shrugged. “It’s the same mess that was here Thursday night.”

Clarke pouted looking around her and Octavias room, it seriously was messy. Lexa sat on Clarkes bed and motioned for Clarke to come to her. Clarkes heart started beating fast again, she hoped Lexa couldn’t hear it.

She stood in front of Lexa, whose eyes just searched her up and down. Clarke felt self conscious and started fidgeting. She closed her eyes. She felt a finger on her lips and her eyes shot open. She tried not to move, Lexa was tracing the cut on her lips, she was so close to her now, she had stood up to see Clarke better closer.

Lexas hand traveled to her neck, Clarke forced herself not to close her eyes at the touch but Lexas hands on her were doing things to her body.

“You didn’t tell me about this.” Clarkes eyes furrowed in confusion.

“About what?” She forced herself to walk away from Lexas touch and went to look in a mirror. Her eyes widened in disbelief there was a fucking hickey on her neck. The damn girl at the party had marked her.

Clarke turned back to Lexa who had sat back down. “How did he do that?”

Clarke felt herself start to blush, she couldn’t look Lexa in the eyes. She felt guilty, which was stupid. “Um he didn’t do that, it happened at the party I went to.”

Clarke saw Lexas eyebrows furrow in confusion, which made her blush even harder, she really didn’t want to have to explain. But then Lexas eyes widened.

“Oh…. You met someone?”

Clarke laughed at that. How could she find someone else when she had this kind of reaction to Lexa?

“Not exactly, kind of just had a little fun I guess.”

Lexa nodded. Clarke really looked at her. Something was off it was subtle though she couldn’t figure it out. Clarke kept watching trying to see what was off. She looked at Lexas eyes. Had she been crying?

Lexa wasn’t one to look away, she looked back at Clarke, she was pretty sure Lexa had been crying.

“Lexa are you okay?” Lexas eyes widened, she quickly made her face blank but not fast enough for Clarke to not see.

Lexa nodded, “Yeah, I’m here for you.” Clarke furrowed her brow. Lexa was lying, she could just feel it.

She walked closer and cupped Lexas cheek, Lexa stiffened at first but then she relaxed and leaned her face into Clarkes palm. She closed her eyes. Clarkes heart began to beating super-fast again. She hoped Lexa couldn’t feel it. She looked at Lexas lips, they were perfect. She wondered what they tasted like Clarke closed her eyes too. She bit her lip again and winced.

“Why do you keep doing that?” Clarke snapped her eyes open Lexa was watching her.

“Doing what?” Lexa moved her face away from Clarkes hand, leaving Clarkes palm oddly hovering. She lowered it and began twisting her fingers together.

“Biting your lip even though you’re just hurting yourself.” Clarke couldn’t handle this. What was she supposed to say? I keep biting my lips because I want to kiss you? She couldn’t say anything so she just shrugged and sat down. She began bouncing her leg up and down but when she looked up she saw Lexa watching her with her eyebrows raised. Shit, why did she ever tell her that meant she was nervous?

“So, how is your girlfriend?” Lexa looked away. Lexa NEVER looks away. Something happened.

“Lexa.” Lexa just shook her head at Clarke.

Then the door opened and both of them turned to see Octavia standing there staring. “Hey you two.”

“Hey O. Spent the night at Lincolns?”

“Yeah, I’m going to stay over there again tonight. I just came to pick up some clothes. Why did you leave Clarke, I saw you sneak off with Niylah and then got your text that you were leaving.”

“Niylah!?” Clarke looked up surprised at Lexas outburst.

“Um yeah?” Lexa just looked at her and then back at Octavia with wide eyes.

“Shes such a player…. She would be able to get straights to question themselves though, I guess.” Lexa shrugged but she seemed to really be thinking about it. Clarkes stomach began to feel odd, was Lexa jealous? She could only hope.

“Clarke what happened to you lip?”

Clarke looked up to see Octavia was stepping closer to her. She grabbed her face and studied her closer.

“Her ex.” Octavias eyes widened, she glanced back and forth between Lexa and her.

 “No! When?!” Clarke shrugged “he was waiting outside the door when I got back last night.”

“Shit, I should have been with you. I’m so sorry Clarke.” Octavia pulled her into a hug, she saw Lexa roll her eyes and tried not giggle at it. Lexa was so rude it was funny.

Octavia turned to Lexa. “Lincoln told me you left yesterday to go see Costia, what are you doing here?”

Lexa raised an eyebrow. Clarke began to blush again and looked down.

Octavia waited for an answer. Lexa sighed and shrugged, “Clarke needed me, so I came back.”

Clarke was trying to not show the smile that came to her face at those words. Lexa cared about her, she showed it in coming home for her when she needed someone.

Octavia was looking back and forth between both girls. “You two have barely known each other two weeks, you realize that?”

“What’s your point?” Clarke wanted to know what she meant by stating the obvious.

“It’s kind of not usual for two people to I don’t know do whatever it is you guys are doing so fast.”

Lexa stood up out of nowhere and walked towards Octavia, Clarke grabbed her arm and almost let go when Lexa glared at her but she held on anyway.

**Lexas POV**

Lexa turned and glared at Clarke for grabbing her. She went to pull her arm away and rip into Octavia but she was able to pause and breathe. She didn’t shake Clarke off just in case though. She breathed in deeply and turned to Octavia.

“Did you not meet my brother the same day me and Clarke met?” Octavia looked at her with a question in her eyes.

“Yes.”

Lexa nodded, “But it is okay for you two to be so close in the form of a relationship, but not for me and Clarke to have a friendship?”

“That’s different we have a connection, I’ve never felt like this with anyone before.”

“I have a connection to Clarke, just because I don’t want to get into her pants doesn’t make it less than what you found.” Lexa glanced back at Clarke who had let go of her arm and was pouting for some unknown reason which annoyed her. “Even if she is one of the most annoying people I have ever met.”

Octavia just looked between the two, focusing more in on Clarke. “Right okay, whatever you guys say.”

Octavia walked around the room grabbing clothes well see you guys later.

“Clarke won’t be staying here tonight.”

“I won’t?”

“No, your ex can show up any time he wants to, until he finally leaves you alone or I beat the shit out of him, I don’t think you should stay here alone.”

“So where will she be staying Lexa?”

Lexa just shrugged, “with me again of course.”

Octavia raised an eyebrow at Clarke, “Again? Okay.”

Lexa watched as Clarke turned her attention to the floor and her hair covered her face.

“You two have fun tonight then, see you later.”

Octavia walked out of the room closing the door behind herself.

Lexa turned to Clarke who still hadn’t looked up yet.

“Clarke.”

She looked up, she looked so sad, Lexa frowned. She walked to Clarke and lifted her face so that the blonde would have to look at her.

“What’s wrong?” The blonde just shook her head. “Did I say something wrong? Do you not want to stay with me? I should have asked you first. I’m sorry.” She let go of her face.

“No! I do want to stay with you, sorry I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Thank you for the offer Lexa.”

Lexa nodded, something was wrong with her, she would do her best to figure it out. Clarke walked around the room and began packing a bag for the night. She rubbed her neck making Lexa see the hickey once again.

She frowned at it, she can’t believe Clarke went for Niylah or that Clarke went for a girl at all, she tilted her head to the side studying the blonde. She wondered if Clarke ever saw her that way, she shook the thought away, Clarke wouldn’t like someone like her.

Lexas phone rang.

Costia: Did you make it back okay?

Lexa felt an ache in her chest, she would need to get over this as soon as possible she would not let herself be weak.

Lexa: Yeah I got here a couple of minutes ago.

Costia: Don’t be a stranger Lexa.

Lexa: I won’t.

Clarke was ready and watching her while she was on her phone. “Texting Costia that you made it back okay?” Lexa just nodded in response and she swore she saw Clarke glare at her for a second but then the blonde was back to her blank almost sad looking face.

“Lets head back to my place so you can drop your stuff off, and we can figure out what we are going to do today.”

Clarke just nodded. Something was bothering her and it was really starting to bug Lexa.

“Clarke. Can you stop? I am your friend, I came back here for you, and your being weird now, like I kicked your puppy or something.”

Clarke shook her head. She walked up to Lexa and pressed her lips to Lexas cheek, Lexa closed her eyes enjoying the warmth but Clarke pulled away too fast. “Do you mind if we just stay in today? Will you have a sad day with me Lexa Woods?”

Lexa raised her eyebrows, wondering what a Clarke Griffin sad day entailed. “What kind of day would that be exactly?”

Clarke smiled, “Ice cream, wine, and movies.” Lexa thought about it, she was having her first breakup so that sounded perfect. She smiled and nodded to Clarke who was staring at her. Clarke bit her lip and winced again. Lexa ran her finger along the blonde’s jaw who closed her eyes when Lexas fingers came in contact with her skin.

“You really need to stop doing that Clarke, it won’t heal if you keep breaking the skin again.” Clarke nodded with her eyes still closed. Lexa removed her hand seeing Clarke take a deep breath in.

Clarke opened her eyes and Lexa was taken back by the blue of them, they seemed darker than usual. She stood looking into them until Clarke turned towards the door. She put her hand out for Lexa to take. Lexa studied it for a moment before taking it, she didn’t really hold hands, she shrugged her shoulders to herself and grasped Clarkes hand a little tighter.

It felt comfortable, she was surprisingly okay with being like this with Clarke. She probably wouldn’t be with anyone else, Clarke had her doing things that were so unlike herself but she liked it, She liked being able to do things she would never allow herself to do before.

She released Clarkes hand to readjust her bag and make sure the door was locked, when she turned to face Clarke she was standing next to her waiting.

“So ice cream, wine, and movies? Can we add chocolate to the list?”

“Definitely!” Lexa smiled at Clarkes enthusiasm before she grabbed her hand again. Clarkes smile grew wider. If holding her hand was all it took for Clarke to smile, Lexa would hold it for as long as Clarke wanted.