Maybe

**Clarkes POV**

Clarke: Nope not talking to you now.

Clarke kept looking at her phone, waiting to see if Lexa would text her back. Didn’t seem like it. Clarke sighed, she had a problem.

She doesn’t remember the last time she had a crush on someone, or even liked someone she couldn’t have.

“For fucks sake Griffin she has a girlfriend, she’s probably already with her girlfriend, her very serious more than three year long girlfriend.”

She was driving herself crazy, what did her girlfriend look like? Was she like Lexa or was she more open, did she smile all the time? What was Lexas type? Was she Lexas type?

Clarke threw herself onto her bed she needed a fucking distraction, she was being ridiculous and she knew it. She heard keys being put into the door and jumped up running to open the door. Octavia stood there her keys still in the door.

“Well hello to you to Clarke?”

Clarke grabbed Octavia and pulled her into the room. “Hello O, any plans for tonight I want to do something?”

Octavia just looked at her. “Shouldn’t you be mad.”

Clarke paused, why should she be mad? She thought back and couldn’t think of anything.

“No, why?”

“Lincoln said Lexa was heading over here yesterday for some paper thing which ruined your day alone thing.”

“Oh no it was fine. We really did need to go over our papers, she helped distract me.”

Octavia was making a face. “She distracted you?” What did you guys do?”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Seriously O we did our work that’s it, you do realize she has a girlfriend right?”

Octavia nodded. “What exactly do you want to do tonight?”

Clarke shrugged. She just needed a distraction. He phone beeped, Clarke jumped thinking Lexa had finally texted her back, her face fell when she saw the name.

Finn: Can we talk?

Clarke just shook her head and put the phone back down, she couldn’t do this. Pining for Lexa and avoiding Finn.

“Are there any parties? Alcohol would be appreciated.” Octavia jumped up and started cheering making Clarke laugh out loud.

“YES! Single Clarke is back!!!,” Octavia ran to the door and swung it open, “She’s back…. Son of a Bitch!” Octavia slammed the door and locked it as fast as she had opened it.

Clarke stopped laughing she felt her stomach drop, she stood up and walked to the door something was wrong. Octavia grabbed her quickly and pulled her away. “O, whats wrong?”

“Finn.”

Clarkes stomach dropped. No.

“Princess I know you’re in there, please open the door we can talk about this.”

**Lexas POV**

Nia wouldn’t leave and it was driving her crazy. How is it that she felt like a third wheel? They were sitting on Costias bed, Lexa on one side of Costia, Nia on the other. It was bugging her how close they were but she was trying to play nice and avoid a fight.

She needed a distraction though.

Lexa: Done not talking to me Clarke?

The sun had already gone, she couldn’t concentrate on what they were watching, she just kept scrolling through her phone wondering what was taking Clarke so long to respond, that girl was always on her phone.

When Lexa looked up she saw that Nia was watching her, she raised an eyebrow. Nia just smiled in return, but it was off, it didn’t meet her eyes, then she turned her attention back to the television. Lexa kept watching her.

“What time do you have practice in the morning Costia?”

“She has practice at nine.” Lexa just glared at the side of Nias face.

“Shouldn’t we be calling it a night then Cos, I want to spend some alone time with you.”

“We always spend Friday nights together.” Lexa was losing her patience who the hell was this girl? She got up from the bed blocking Costias view.

“What the hell Lex move.”
“Are you serious right now? I come to see you and this is how it’s going to be? “

Costia just looked at her and then at Nia, who apparently took that as her cue to speak.

“She didn’t ask you to come here.” Lexa saw Costias eyes widen at what Nia had said, she looked back up to Lexa who was ready to pounce. Costia got up and put her arm on Lexa attempting to calm her.

“Nia, I am feeling kind of tired, see you at practice tomorrow?” Nia glared at Lexa for a second and then got up nodding to Costia. She pulled her away from Lexa and kissed her on the forehead while grasping Costias hips. What the fuck was that?

Nia left without looking at Lexa again.

“What the hell Costia!?”

Costia turned to look at Lexa, bringing her hands to Lexas neck and pulled her in close. “Why you so grumpy baby?”

Lexa moved Costias arms from around her. “Stop, we need to talk.”

Costia pouted, moving closer to Lexa again. “We can talk later.” She started kissing Lexas jaw and made her way down to Lexas neck, Lexa lost her train of thought, she closed her eyes and tilted her head to give Costia better access. She felt herself shiver at each one of Costias little nips. Her phone vibrated in her back pocket bringing her out of her cloud.

She put her hands on Costia and pushed her away lightly. “No Cos, we need to talk.” Costia sighed and sat down on the bed.

 “About what Alexandria?”

Lexa raised her eyebrow, so that’s how this was going to go. “Don’t be petty, Cos.” Costia rolled her eyes but nodded.

“What do you think we need to talk about?”

Lexa sat down on the bed, and Costia sat next to her. There was so much she wanted to talk about. She needed to figure out if they both still wanted to be together. What the hell was Nias problem, did Nia like Costia, and did Costia like Nia? Did Costia still love her, and deep down if she still loved her in that way? Lexa shook her head trying to clear it of that last question, of course she still loved Costia.

“What is going on with us? This is the first time we see each other in months, we barely talk anymore. Now that we are together you don’t want me here?”

“I didn’t say that. I am happy to see you, but…. I don’t know.”

“Do you and Nia have something going on?”

Costia didn’t answer right away which made Lexas stomach drop.

“She has feelings for me, I don’t know what I feel for her.”

“Are you serious?” Lexa was mad and so hurt, she felt her heart crack a little.

“She gets in my head Lexa I don’t know, I can’t understand it. She knows what to say to me to make me question everything….. including us.”

Lexa felt the tears coming to her eyes she was trying so hard to fight them but it wasn’t working, she felt a tear roll down her face. Costia grabbed her face and made her look at her.

“Lexa please don’t cry,” Costia began kissing Lexas cheeks trying to stop the tears from flowing, “Please baby I love you, I don’t want to hurt you. I love you.”

Lexas phone was vibrating again, she ignored it. Costia began pressing her lips to Lexas and she let her, she kissed her back, it wasn’t the same, not like it used to be. This kiss was filled with sadness, it felt like goodbye.

Costia licked Lexas bottom lip asking for entrance and Lexa let her. They kissed softly tongues hesitant to press too hard and ruin it. Costia pushed Lexas shoulders to make her lay down, Lexa obeyed and Costia laid on top of her never breaking the kiss.

Costia ran her hand over the exposed skin between Lexa pants and her shirt which had ridden up just a little, it caused her to shiver. She felt the heat forming between her legs. Costia kissed her with more purpose shifting her body so that one of her legs was between Lexas. Lexa needed that pressure, she tried to grind upwards begging Costia for more.

Her phone was buzzing again, except this time Costia could feel it too, it made her pause.

Lexa sighed frustrated, she moved Costia a bit so she could get into her back pocket to see what was so important. Costia began to kiss Lexas neck again.

Clarke: I need you.

Clarke: Lexa Please.

Missed Call: Clarke

Lexa tensed, Clarke didn’t seem like the kind of person who asked for help. Lexa sat up quickly surprising Costia who jumped away. “Lexa what’s wrong?”

“I need to call someone back, give me a minute.” Lexa jumped to her feet and made her way to the bathroom clicking to call Clarke back. It barely rang once before Clarke answered.

Lexa could hear the girl struggling to breathe and the constant sniffling. “Clarke? Clarke? Clarke?! Say something please you’re scaring me!” She heard some more sniffles and a deep breathe.

“He came back.”

Lexas heart dropped.

“No.”

**Clarkes POV**

Clarke and Octavia just stared at eachother, both jumping as Finn banged on the door.

“Come on just open up!”

Octavia stepped closer to the door, “Go the fuck away Finn no one wants you here!”

“No one is talking to you Octavia, mind your damn business, Clarke come on lets talk in private we can fix this.” Clarke and Octavia didn’t respond. Finn began pounding on the door again. Clarke was shaking. Octavia walked over to her and put her arms around her.

“Clarke!” Followed by more banging.

“Go away Finn, I don’t want to talk to you or anything to do with you please!”

“Clarke baby you don’t mean that, you’re confused.” He seemed to be waiting for a response and when he didn’t get one he kicked the door.

“Finn if you don’t leave I will call the police, do you understand me?”

“You wouldn’t do that to me.”

“Don’t test me.”

 “I won’t give up on you babe not while I think we still have a chance.”

Clarke heard what sounded like footsteps walking away from the door. She breathed a sigh of relief. She couldn’t keep going through this. Octavia poked her in the side.

“You okay Griff?”

 Clarke nodded, he will give up eventually.

“Come on lets just stay in tonight and hang out.”

Clarke shook her head, “No, I’m not going let him ruin our night.”

Octavia smiled at that, “You sure.”

Clarke walked to her closet, “What should I wear?”

That’s how they ended up at some party two hours later with Clarke being four strong drinks in and flirting with a dirty blonde, who happened to be a girl.

“Well well well, what a pretty little blonde you are.”

Clarke was leaning back against a wall while the other woman hovered in front of her closer than she actually needed to be. Clarke smiled, “You’re not so bad yourself.”

She twirled a strand of the girls hair around her finger. “Why have I never seen you before Clarke?”

“Maybe you weren’t paying attention, maybe I was hiding and didn’t want anyone to find me.”

“So you want to be found?” The girl step even closer to Clarke their Chests were pressed together when she spoke her lips brushed Clarkes ears making her breathe catch.

Clarke nodded, and then next thing she knew she felt lips on her neck making her legs go weak. Well if she was being honest she didn’t know if it was because of what the girl was doing or if she was just too drunk, that didn’t matter though not right now.

Clarke moaned as the girl sucked harder on her neck, Clarke closed her eyes, she saw green. Shit. She moved the girl away from her.

 “Sorry, I thought we were on the same page.” The girl had her hands up in surrender, making Clarke smile and feel guilty.

“We were, I just can’t, I’m sorry.”

Clarke walked away from her, looking around for Octavia, but she couldn’t find her.

Clarke: Heading home, tired.

She tried not to stumble on her way back to her room. Clarke had fun flirting with the other girl but she wasn’t Lexa. She wanted Lexa.

Clarke was so into her own thoughts that she didn’t see Finn sitting outside her door. She froze when she spotted him but he was faster than her and she was drunk.

“I knew you’d have to come back.”

“Finn please don’t, I just want to go to bed, I’m tired.” Clarke was tired but being next to Finn made her physically sick.

“Why don’t you want me anymore?”

“Finn, we are done that’s it.”

“You want her.”

“Yes.” Clarkes eyes widened she didn’t mean to say that. Shit she didn’t mean to say that. Next thig she knew she was pushed against a wall.

“She will never want you Clarke! Who else could possibly want you but me? You’re mine.”

Finn put his hand around her neck, not enough to actually choke her but enough so she knew if he wanted to he could.

“Finn stop, please.” He brought his mouth closer to her face.

“You stupid bitch, she…will…never….want…you. She will never…have… you.” In every break he slammed her head against the wall, Clarke began to see black spots in her vision. Finn released her then and she fell to the ground.

He bent down next to her, “No one will love you but me, you drive me crazy, I hate you, I love you, I will have you.” With that he lifted her chin and bit her lip until it bled. “I love you princess.” Finn got up and walked away leaving her in the hall.

When Clarke felt like she could stand without passing out she went into her room. She took out her phone.

Lexa: Done not talking to me Clarke?

Clarke: I need you.

She waited five minutes but she couldn’t calm down, she couldn’t breathe.

Clarke: Lexa?

Again she tried to wait but the tears began to fall down her face, she was losing it. She clicked to call Lexa but she didn’t pick up. She was drunk her mind was messing with her, Finn was right Lexa would never want her. But right as she thought that her phone lit with a call, Lexa.

She picked up and tried to calm herself down enough to tell Lexa everything that happened. She left out the part that was about her, Lexa was her FRIEND.

Once she stopped talking she heard Lexas loud breathing.

“Lexa?”

“He can show up at your room any minute.” It was a statement so Clarke didn’t say anything.

She heard what sounded like a knock on a door, Lexa must have covered the mouth piece because she heard a very muffled, “ I need a minute Costia.”

Clarke stomach dropped. “I’m sorry I interrupted your weekend Lexa, it was rude of me I should go.” She went to hang up but Lexa stopped her.

“No Clarke wait, shit, stay in your room. I will come home early tomorrow and we will figure something out.”

“You’re coming back tomorrow? Why?”

“I just am alright…..”

“Okay. So I will see you tomorrow?”

“Yes…. And Clarke?”

“Yes Lexa?”

“Stay safe in your room, I don’t want anything to happen to you…. I don’t know what I would do.”

“I will…. Thank you Lexa.”

“Yeah, are you going to be okay?

“Yes,” Clarkes heart dropped with what she was about to say, “Enjoy your night with your girlfriend.”

Lexa just grunted at that and said, “Goodnight, call me if anything else happens.”

“Goodnight Lexa.” Clarke hung up before her drunk self could say anything else.

**Lexas POV**

Lexa walked out of the bathroom, Costia was sitting on the bed waiting for her. “Is everything okay?”

Lexa shook her head, “I have to go back to school as soon as possible, whats the first bus in the morning?”

Costia stood up, Lexa could see the anger in her body, “Are you fucking kidding me Lexa? You come here acting as if you’re here to fix all our problems and not even eight hours later and you’re walking away from me?!”

Costia had a right to be upset, Lexa knew this but she needed to go home, Clarke needed her and Lexa felt in her heart how much more important that was to her at this moment in time. “I have to go home Costia, she needs me.” Seeing Costias body language, Lexa knows she said the wrong thing.

“She?! She?! Who the fuck is she Lexa?! You talk about me with Nia, seems like you have your very own whore.” Lexa shook her head grabbing Costias hand trying to get her to look at her.

“She’s my friend, she going through a lot. I can help her.” Costia closed her eyes and nodded she went to the bed and turned her back to Lexa.

“I can’t do this right now, I have practice early and you have a 7am bus to catch. Goodnight Lexa.”

Lexa nodded even though Costia couldn’t see. She didn’t know what to do though, it was one in the morning. It’s not like she could leave that very second. Lexa just stood their awkwardly.

Costia turned over and looked at Lexa, “Come here.”

Lexa walked over to the bed, Costia patted the spot next to her.

“Best friends first. Go to sleep Lex.”

Lexa laid on the bed, her and Costia made sure not to touch each other. Lexa could only think about Clarke still. She picked up her phone.

Lexa: You okay?

She didn’t wait very long before she got a response.

Clarke: Thanks to you, Yes.

Lexa smiled sadly.

Lexa: Goodnight.

Clarke didn’t text her after that she hoped that it meant the blonde had been able to fall asleep. She closed her eyes hoping she could sleep too.