GET REKT
Combeferre - moth_erfucker
Enjolras - AP0LL0
Joly - jolyranchers
Grantaire - claudemoneY
Marius - CosetteFucker
Cosette - MariusFucker/Cozztte
eponine -epo9
bossuet -BossAssBitch
courfeyrac - courffee
bahorel - johncena
jehan - plantastic
feuilly - _feuilly_
musichetta - chettta
montparnasse - memepornASSe
-o-
you have entered the group chat : “Les Amemes”
6:40 pm
plantastic: these seats are so good wtf??
plantastic: there is still like 20 minutes till curtain
johncena: by my calculations, together all our seats average to be like £2400 what the fuck it's so LIT RN
epo9: grantaire ###confirmed for sugar daddy™
-o-
AP0LL0 has a new message from moth_erfucker
6:46
moth_erfucker: how are you feeling
AP0LL0: I still feel sick like I'm going to throw up? Honestly I never get sick this is such a new feeling for me
moth_erfucker: hang on come over i wanna feel ur forehead
AP0LL0: ok where r u
moth_erfucker: me n courf are getting skittles
moth_erfucker: in courfs words, “ who cares that were adults?? i still wanna TASTE THE FUCKING GAY RAINBOW”
moth_erfucker: we got so many weird looks
AP0LL0: oh my god u guys r helpless
AP0LL0: im omw
6:54
moth_erfucker: well u dont have a fever.
moth_erfucker: there is only two other things this could be.
moth_erfucker: cancer
AP0LL0: oh god
AP0LL0: r u serius????
moth_erfucker: no u dumb
AP0LL0: what else could it be tho??
AP0LL0: im dying
AP0LL0: this is the end
AP0LL0: i can feel the cancer running through my veins
moth_erfucker: i regret saying that
moth_erfucker: u dont have cancer
AP0LL0: what was the second option
moth_erfucker: love sickness
AP0LL0: what would u think im in love with??
AP0LL0: the theater???
AP0LL0: which, i mean, i guess??
AP0LL0: i DO have a lot of post-rally adrenalin so maybe that?
AP0LL0: oh god
AP0LL0: OH GOD
moth_erfucker: enjolras no
AP0LL0: im in love with conflict
AP0LL0: im in love with rallies???
moth_erfuckers: enjolras pls
-o-
you have entered the chat “Les Amems”
jolyranchers: combeferre and enjolras get off ur phones it about to start
moth_erfuckers: i blame enjolras
AP0LL0: guys im in love with conflict
johncena: im not going to ask
-o-
moth_erfucker has a new message from AP0LL0
AP0LL0: oh my god oh my god oh my god
moth_erfucker: ur fine
AP0LL0: ur lying arent u.
AP0LL0: i have cancer
AP0LL0: DONT I??
moth_erfucker: no
moth_erfucker: its about to start turn off ur phone omg
AP0LL0: i cant im so nervous
moth_erfucker: for what
AP0LL0: i DONT KNOW IM SO EMO WHAT THE FUCK
-o-
moth_erfuckerhas a new message from courffee
courffee: whats wrong with him
moth_erfucker: i think hes in love
courffee: awe :)
courffee: thats gay as shit
-o-
you have entered the chat “Les Amemes”
johncena: WHAT THE FUCK U GUYS THIS IS SO GOOD WHAT THE FUCK
_feuilly_: i have litteral tears coming out of my eyes right now
plantastic: feuilly its only intermission
_feuilly_: i know what im about
chettta: honestly if we are being honest honestly tbh this is the best thing i have ever seen
chettta: where is grantaire do u think he has his phone
epo9: no he prob wont be on until after the show
moth_erfucker: like tbh i dont even care what happens for the rest of my life, i could die right now and be content
courffee: RT
MariusFucker: me and ep are in line for snacks where is enjolras and does he want anything
MariusFucker: i lost him
CosetteFucker: where was the last place u had him?
MariusFucker: I think he said smthng about having to go to the bathroom
johncena: oh my god u had ONE job
MariusFucker: ACTUALLY AS I HAVE JUST STATED, I HAVE TWO JOBS. IM ALSO ON SNACK DUTY FOR UR INFORMATION SO NICE TRY
BossAssBitch: Cossssettttttttttttttttee can u get me a kitkat and a water bottle pls its life or death
MariusFucker: u got it bro
-o-
BossAssBitch has created a group chat with moth_erfucker, plantastic, and courffee
BossAssBitch: is there a reason enjolras is having a breakdown in the bathroom or is this just another one of the We Need To Save The Bees™ breakdowns.
BossAssBitch: i asked cosette to get a water bottle for him
BossAssBitch: i am doing a great job at being The Comforter Friend™ tho
moth_erfucker: jesus christ
courffee: oh my go d
moth_erfucker: can u plS tell him that he DOESNT HAVE CANCER AND THAT IT WAS A COMPLETE JOKE
plantastic: WHAT THE FUCK
moth_erfucker: I REPEAT//… A COMPLETE JOKE
plantastic: COMBEFERRE U CANT JOKE ABOUT THAT STUFF TO ENJOLRAS HE TAKES IT WAY TOO LITERALLY AND WILL SEE SYMPTOMS WHEN THERE ARE NONE
plantastic: once it took me 2 weeks to convince him he didnt have polio after he looked up his symptoms for a cough on webMD
moth_erfucker: POLIO???
plantastic: I KNOW
BossAssBitch: ok so i asked him if he knew that he didnt have cancer and hes like “yeah i know that its not that”
BossAssBitch: and i was like okay then was is it
BossAssBitch: he wont tell me he says he “Has to be sure”
moth_erfucker: this sounds bad
-o-
moth_erfucker has a new message from AP0LL0
AP0LL0: can i talk with you privately about a personal matter
moth_erfucker: of course
AP0LL0: ok but just promise me that nothing will change after i tell you
moth_erfucker: u could tell me you killed someone and nothing would change between us
AP0LL0: ok but this is like important
moth_erfucker: alright u have my full attention
AP0LL0: okay… here it goes…
AP0LL0: are u ready
moth_erfucker: yes enjolras
AP0LL0: r u sure
moth_erfucker: yes
AP0LL0: r u positive
moth_erfucker: there is still time to turn back
moth_erfucker: no
AP0LL0: ok r u SURE ur POSITIVE
moth_erfucker: JESUS CHRIST ENJOLRAS
AP0LL0: OKAY OKAY
AP0LL0: okay
AP0LL0: ok r u ready
moth_erfucker: I stg
moth_erfucker: yes I'm ready
AP0LL0: okay…..
AP0LL0: i think im in love with grantaire
moth_erfucker: ok go on
AP0LL0: thats it?????
AP0LL0: thats what i had to tell you
moth_erfucker: wHAT THE FUCK
moth_erfucker: I THOUGHT THIS WAS SOMETHING BAD
moth_erfucker: I THOUGHT THAT THIS WAS GONNA BE SOMETHING I DIDNT ALREADY KNOW
moth_erfucker: I THOUGHT U WERE GONNA TELL ME THAT UR NAME WASNT ACTUALLY ENJOLRAS AND THAT UR SECRETLY A SPY FOR THE GOVERNMENT OR SMTHNG WHAT THE FUCK
AP0LL0: WAIT
AP0LL0: YOU KNEW??
moth_erfucker: YES FOR GODS SAKE EVERYONE KNOWS
AP0LL0: HOW??
moth_erfucker: oh my god where do i start
moth_erfucker: well for one you were freaking out about going on that “”””date”””” with grantaire the other day
AP0LL0: i thought that i made it clear that i was freaking out bc i thought it was gonna be awkward??? bc idk??? like idk i thought MAYBE i might LIKE him in like a FRIEND way but with a LITTLE bit more but i never thought in a THOUSAND years that i would be IN LOVE WITH HIM WHAT THE FUCK
moth_erfucker: that sounds so fake
moth_erfucker: deep down i bet u knew the whole time that you ARE IN LOVE WITH him you just didnt want to admit to urself that u r in love with a cynical artist
AP0LL0: IM SO CONFUSED
AP0LL0: IM HAVING A MIDLIFE CRISIS
AP0LL0: hang on dont throw around the “L” word
moth_erfucker: wWHAT THE FYCK YOU JUST SAID IT LIKE 3 TIMES
AP0LL0: seems fake tbh? i have no idea what ur talking about
AP0LL0: i am in extreme denial rn
AP0LL0: also
AP0LL0: HOW DOES EVERYONE KNOW???
AP0LL0: NO ONE KNOWS
moth_erfucker: hang on
-o-
moth_erfucker has created a group chat with epo9, courffee, BossAssBitch, johncena, MariusFucker, CosetteFucker, chettta, jolyranchers, plantastic, _feuilly_, and AP0LL0
moth_erfucker has named the group chat “intervention”
moth_erfucker: ok this is a chat with everyone but grantaire
moth_erfucker: we are having an impromptu intervention here for a sec
moth_erfucker: who here knew that enjolras is actually in love with grantaire
moth_erfucker: everyone who knew, say i
epo9: I
courffee: i
BossAssBitch: i
johncena: i
MariusFucker: i
CosetteFucker: even i knew
chettta: i
jolyranchers: i
plantastic: i
_feuilly_: i
AP0LL0: what the fuck
AP0LL0: how did all of you knOW AND I DIDNT
jolyranchers: awe :) sweetie :) cause ur dumb when it comes to matters of the heart
johncena: ur good at so many things enjolras.. just not this
AP0LL0: honestly?? i feel attacked
AP0LL0: I AM SO FREAKED OUT WHAT THE FUCJ
AP0LL0: HONESTLY HE HAS BURST LIKE THE FUCKING MUSIC OF ANGELS
AP0LL0: THE LIGHT OF THE SUN
CosetteFucker: now u get it
AP0LL0: AND MY LIFE??? SEEMS TO STOP AS IF SOMETHING IS OVER?? AND SOMETHING HAS SCARCELY BEGUN
CosetteFucker: tbh? this is copyright infringment
AP0LL0: IM FREAKING THE FUCK OUT
plantastic: heres what u need to do: take a seat. Have an iced tea.
AP0LL0: i need something stronger than that tBH
johncena: we can go to a bar after this
AP0LL0: i meant like a strong black coffee so i can get wired and stay up all night making color coded charts to find exactly where In My Life™ i started liking grantiare
AP0LL0: but that works too
courffee: RT
MariusFucker: ok this is rlly amazing and im glad enjolras is finally having a breakthrough but the lights are flashing and intermission is almost over we need to get back to our seats.
-o-
you have entered the group chat “Les Amemes”
johncena: GRANTAIRE THAT WAS SO GOOD
MariusFucker: HONESYLU THAT WAS THE BEST HTING I AHVE EVER SEEN I MY ENTIRE LIFE
plantastic: I AM SOBBING
chettta: WHERE CAN I DOWNLOAD THE SOUNDTRACK
courffee: GRANTAIRE YOU WROTE THAT????????????????
chettta: WHY DOES IT FEEL LIKE IM TALKING TO LIN MANUEL MIRANDA RN???
jolyranchers: TBH TRUE
jolyranchers: MUSICHETTA I FOUND THE SOUNDTRACK ON ITUNES DO YOU WANNA POOL UR MONEY WITH ME AND BOSSUT AND DOWNLOAD IT???
jolyranchers: BC ITS LIKE 2O FUCKING EUROS
chettta: FUCK YESSSSSSSS
moth_erfucker: I LAUGHED I CRIED I CRIED SOME MORE AND LAUGHED AND I AM LITERALLY IN LOVE WITH YOU
BossAssBitch: SMAE WHAT THE FYCJ
CosetteFucker: lets go stage door him
_feuilly_: ALREADY ON IT
epo9: guys i know the security guard hes super chill i can get us back there come on follow me
epo9: GRANTAIRE WHERE ARE YOU
claudemoneY: HELLOW OMG YOU GUYS THESE MESSAGES ARE SO SWEET
claudemoneY: IM IN MY DRESSING ROOM
claudemoneY: COME IN
plantastic: i brought u flowers bc ur a flower :)
claudemoneY: ;SLDKFJA;SF THATS THE NICEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ANYONE IN THE HISTORY OF ALL OF MANKIND
claudemoneY: honestly im really glad you all came it means a lot to me
AP0LL0: grantaire this was really really amazing literally this is so good it was a work of art
moth_erufucker: ;))))))))
claudemoneY: THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH WHAT THE FUCK
johncena: AFTER PARTY ANYONE?? FREE DRINKS FOR ANYONE WHO WROTE THEIR OWN BALLET
claudemoneY: yaaasssss
claudemoneY: hang on that wasnt gay enough
claudemoneY: YAAAASSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!
plantastic: THIS IS GONNA BE SO LIT
chettta: do u think we can all fit into my 5 person car
_feuilly_: yes
BossAssBitch: musichetta no
jolyranchers: musichetta yes
moth_erfucker: do u know HOW many injuries are sustained from car accidents every year???
moth_erfucker: 20-50 MILLION A YEAR
moth_erfucker: AND ALMOST 2 MILLION OF THOSE PEOPLE DIE
moth_erfucker: THATS ALMOST 4 THOUSAND PEOPLE A DAY
moth_erufucker: DO NOT BECOME A STATISTIC
chettta: ok but i drive rlly fast so if we are thinking mathematically, the shorter amount of time we spend on the street, the less likely it is that we get into an accident
chettta: so TBH ur safe with me
moth_erfucker: I dont even have TIME to explain how wrong u r
moth_erfucker: actually, its gonna bug me if i dont
courffee: here we go
-o-
you have entered the group chat “best frens” with AP0LL0, moth_erfucker, and plantastic
AP0LL0: im gonna tell grantaire personally how good he did
moth_erfucker: go for it my dude
plantastic: fuck it uppppp
-o-
claudemoneY has a new message from AP0LL0
AP0LL0: hey i just wanted to say again how immensely wonderful that was
AP0LL0: like literally, that was better than the Nutcracker, Swan Lake, and all the Shakespeare ballets put together. It was so full of depth and character and really REALLY GOOD, great job R, im proud of you :)
-o-
you have entered the group chat “best frens”
AP0LL0: ok i did it
AP0LL0: im freaking out
plantastic: what did he say
moth_erfucker: pics or it didnt happen
AP0LL0: he hasnt replied hang on ill send u screenshots
-o-
AP0LL0 has a new message from claudemoneY
claudemoneY: wow.. thats really really nice! thanks apollo
-o-
you have entered the group chat “best frens”
AP0LL0: sent an image receipts1.jpeg
plantastic: oh my god this is so pure and innocent.
moth_erfucker: “better than shakespeare” :,) im crying
AP0LL0: am i doing good
plantastic: ur doing fine
moth_erfucker: ok now say something else nice
AP0LL0: ok here i go
-o-
claudemoneY has a new message from AP0LL0
AP0LL0: like i always knew you were talented but i just assumed that you were off doing other things when u miss meetings or smthng i never thought that you were writing an award winning ballet
-o-
you have entered the group chat “best frens”
AP0LL0: sent an image receipts2.jpeg
plantastic: aaaaaaannnnddd u lost it
moth_erfucker: oh my god
AP0LL0: WHAT DID I DO
moth_erfucker: ok dont freak out but that seemed a tiny bit passive aggressive
plantastic: like, bringing up where he has failed to accomplish something, coming to meetings, isnt the best way to compliment something
AP0LL0: oh no
AP0LL0: I DIDNT MEAN THAT
AP0LL0: hang oN HE TEXTED BACK
-o-
AP0LL0 has a new message from claudemoneY
claudemoneY: wow. thats really REALLY nice! thanks apollo.
AP0LL0: OK THAT CAME OFF WRONG
AP0LL0: i MEANT IT IN A GOOD WAY IM SORRY
claudemoneY: LMAO ITS FINE I GET IT
-o-
you have entered the group chat “best frens”
AP0LL0: sent an image receipts3.jpeg
AP0LL0: IM SOBBING WHAT DO I DO
moth_erfucker: honestly this is so cute
plantastic: enjolras have u even been in a real relationship before
AP0LL0: YEAH I DATED A GUY IN COLLEGE ASK JOLY
AP0LL0: it lasted ALMOST 3 weeks but he broke up with me…
AP0LL0: …. because i wasnt a good communicator on the topic of feelings…
AP0LL0: give me ANY issue and i could debate it in my sleep. I can write 15 page essays in under an hour on historical inequalities. but i cant fucking use basic complete sentences when talking to a cute boy??? what the fuck
plantastic: awwwwwwwwwwwwww
plantastic: you called him cute :))))
moth_erfucker: AAWWWWWWWW
moth_erfucker: im gonna screenshot this and show it to you in 10 years when ur married to him
AP0LL0: honestly im just tryin to chill.
plantastic: just tell him how u feel
moth_erfucker: be honest
plantastic: pretend ur writing a review on a website or smtng
AP0LL0: ok i got this
-o-
claudemoneY has a new message from AP0LL0
AP0LL0: no but seriously, you should be really proud of yourself, the metaphors that you created with the characters were phenomenal. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time. and i absolutely did NOT expect that twist ending?? but rlly it was dark yet sophisticated, had lots of plot yet none of it took away from the dancing. Even with no dialogue the emotions that were being displayed were real and genuine?? AND THE SOUNDTRACK!!!! the music alone made me tear up. it felt so… passionate.. like.. full of hurt and pain and love and hope and light and mystery.. this will definitely influence the way ballet is done in the future.
claudemoneY: ok coming from you this means a lot
AP0LL0: really? whys that
claudemoneY: bc u dont bullshit ppl
claudemoneY: and i know i can believe in almost whatever u say bc u are 95% of the time 100% correct.
AP0LL0: im not lying when i say that this is the best ballet i have seen or will ever see in my entire life.
claudemoneY: thank you so much enj
-o-
you have entered the group chat “best frens”
AP0LL0: sent an image receipts4.jpeg
AP0LL0: AHHHHH
moth_erfucker: GOT EM!!!
plantastic: BACK ON TRACK!!!!
moth_erfucker: back on track!!!
AP0LL0: see?? i can do stuff!!!
AP0LL0: also where is everyone. i know we talked in grantaires dressing room that joly, bossuet, grantaire, and eponine would go with musichetta in their car and get a table at cafe musain
plantastic: courf, combeferre, feuilly, and bahorel got an uber
plantastic: and u me n marius n cosette r with u on the metro in case u forgot or suddenly went blind.
moth_erfucker: ya we will be there in like 2 minutes
AP0LL0: ok cool we r getting off now and walking there
-o-
you have entered the group chat “Les Amemes”
10:03 pm
johncena: hey enjolras theres a seat open over next to me and grantaire!
-o-
johncena has a new message from AP0LL0
AP0LL0: I WILL MURDER U
johncena: love u!
-o-
you have entered the group chat “Les Amemes”
AP0LL0: haha okay!
BossAssBitch: A ROUND OF DRINKS ON ME
BossAssBitch: and when i say “”on me””” i really mean pls, put ur drinks on me, as in, in my hand, as in, pls buy me a drink i am poor and thirsty af
_feuilly_: A ROUND OF DRINKS ON ME
_feuilly_: and when i say “””on me”” i mean, pls, put ur drinks ON ME, as in, who wants to do body shots.
johncena: I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE
epo9: OH MY GOD
epo9: brb i gotta pee
chettta: im coming w u
epo9: yaasss
MariusFucker: do they take ApplePay here
_feuilly_: yes
courffee: we are walking in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
moth_erfucker: THE PARTY DONT START TILL I WALK INNNNN
AP0LL0: ok no but srsly WHO IS GONNA PAY
_feuilly_: we're not gonna pAYYY
AP0LL0: oh no
_feuilly_: WERE NOT GONNA PAAaAAAYYYYY
AP0LL0: what have I done
_feuilly_: WERE NOT GONNA PAAAAYYYYYYYYYY
_feuilly_: LASST YEARS REEENNNTT!!!
claudemoneY: we all have to pay eventually
epo9: chill
plantastic: who dares me to go flirt with the guy at the bar and see if i can get him to buy me a drink
AP0LL0: PLS DO IT
jolyranchers: he looks rlly hardcore be careful
AP0LL0: give us The Signal™ if u need one of us to intervene
courffee: jehan i bet u 5 euros u cant get him to buy u a drink
moth_erfucker: WHY dont u just buy a drink with that money
courffee: bc i like living on the edge
plantastic: HERE I GOOOOOO
johncena: YAASSS FUCK IT UPPP
moth_erfucker: courfeyrac have u ever thought that maybe u have a gambling problem
courffee: I LIKE LIVING ON THE EDGE
jolyranchers: OOH MY GOD JEHAN IS DOING IT
jolyranchers: I WENT UP TO BUY DRINKS AND ALSO CHECK WHATS UP AND THEYRE HARDCORE FLIRTING
plantastic: omg guys this guy is so cute
claudemoneY: he looks like someone right out of Grease™
AP0LL0: or from a hardcore motorcycle gang-cult
BossAssBitch: is that blood on his shirt???
jolyranchers: yes
epo9: lmao i have a friend like this
BossAssBitch: oh my god jehan get out of there
plantastic: bUT HES SO CUTE HANG ON
AP0LL0: i think i should step in
AP0LL0: no one touches jehan
plantastic: he hasnt touched me???
AP0LL0: hes looking at u tho
plantastic: THATS CUZ IM TALKIN TO HIM
plantastic: DAD PLS
chettta: WAIT WHATS HAPPENING EPONINE IS FIXING HER MAKEUP
claudemoneY: jehan is crackin names and takin skulls
chettta: what does this guy look like is he worthy of our child?
claudemoneY: hes attractive in a dark emo kinda way
claudemoneY: and DAMN CAN HE PUT AN OUTFIT TOGETHER.
claudemoneY: he looks super hardcore
claudemoneY: like, he’ll steal ur guy n then steal ur guys clothes n then steal YOU IN ur guys clothes.
plantastic: i know right its so hot
jolyranchers: this is ABC news bringing you an update on the events that are unraveling
jolyranchers: i am standing here at the scene, e.i., at the bar next to jehan and mystery guy, pretending to not eavesdrop and doing a really good job of looking inconspicuous. e.i., loudly saying phrases such as “Wow i LOVE minding my own business” and “Im DEFINITELY not eavesdropping.”
AP0LL0: WHAT IS THE UPDATE
jolyranchers: the update is that mystery guy has just asked our jehan on a date
AP0LL0: IM COMING OVER TO HAVE A TALK WITH HIM ABOUT HIS INTENTIONS
plantastic: ENJOLRAS NO PLS ITS FINE HES REALLY NICE I SWEAR OMG ITS FINE DAD PLS
AP0LL0: okay fine but i stg i WILL beat him up if u ask me to
AP0LL0: joly what is happening from an unbiased point of veiw
AP0LL0: is he being nice
jolyranchers: actually yes. Emo HardCore Head To Toe In Black Clothes And Embroidered Flower Patterns On His Jacket™ is really courteous.
epo9: wait
jolyranchers: JEHAN JUST ASKED HIM HIS NAME
jolyranchers: THIS JUST IN..,. MYSTERY GUYS NAME IS MONTPARNASSE
chettta: eponine just screamed and fell down
chettta: idk why
epo9: OHB NY GOASD
epo9: OHEDKFAJHSD FOHEAN JOAH AN DOH MY OGD
epo9: A;SDKLHFA;SKD FA
AP0LL0: WHAT IS IT
epo9: HANG ON
-o-
memepornASSe has a new message from epo9
epo9: oh mY GOD IM GOIHNG TO KILL YOU MONYASRNESSE
epo9: DONT YOU DARE HOOKUP WITH JEHAN
epo9: I SWEAR TO GO D IF U TOUCH MY CHILD I WILL FUICK ING MUR D E R YOU
memepornASSe: eponine what thE FUCK R U talking about
epo9: JEHAN
memepornASSe: WHO IS JEHAN
epo9: THEY PERSON UR TALKING TO
memepornASSe: WHAT THETH FUCK HOW DO UY KNOW i WAS TALKING TO SOMEONE
epo9: BC IM IN THE BATHROOM
epo9: STAYYYYY AWWWAYYYY
memepornASSe: FOR UR INFORMATION EPONINE I WANST GOING TO SLEEP WITH JEHAN
memepornASSe: what does jehan go by????
memepornASSe: honestly i cant tell
epo9: u mean gender wise??
memepornASSe: yes
epo9: ///…. they/them,..,,,.,..,.,
memepornASSe: OKA COOL THX I WASNT SURE LMAO
epo9: …,.,, why do u ask ..,.,.,.,./
mempornASSe: ????????????????? bc????? despite what everyone thinks????? im a decent human fucking being???????
memepornASSe: Punks Respect Pronouns.
memepornASSe: get w the game ponine
epo9: im
epo9: hm
memepornASSe: what
epo9: just ???
epo9: usually u just have one night stands and dont even bother asking stuff like this???
epo9: like?? remember last week?? when u slept with that guy for 3 nights straight and never even learned his name>>????
epo9: it was george by the way.
epo9: and he makes decent pancakes so.
memepornASSe: ok??? AND???
memepornASSe: AM I NOT ALLOWED TO JUST TALK TO SOMEONE WITHOUT THE INTENTION OF SLEEPING WITH THEM??
epo9: HISTORICALLY NO
memepornASSe: also how do u know that that dude makes decent pancakes
epo9: his name is george
memepornASSe; FINE how did u know that GEORGE makes decent pancakes
epo9: bc we live in the same apartment parnesse
epo9: and after u leave sometimes ur fuck buds make breakfast
memepornASSe: ?????
epo9: :)
epo9: ANYWAYS
epo9: Jehan is very very special and the literal best and i dont what u to DO ANYTHING TO EVER HURT THEM EVER IN THE ENTIRETY OF EVER
memepornASSe: ok i wont
epo9: IM SERIOUS
memepornASSe: OK I WONT
epo9: IM FUCKING SERIOUS
memepornASSe: OK !!!! I !!!! WONT !!!!!
-o-
you have entered the group chat “Les Amemes”
epo9: hey guys
AP0LL0: WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT
chettta: shes still screaming
chettta: but now in like a hopefull happy scream???
epo9: I KNOW WHO MONTPARNASSE I S
plantastic: HOW???
epo9: HES MY ROOMMATE LMAO!!!!!!
claudemoneY: what tHE FUCK THAT WAS THE MYSTERY ROOMMATE WHO IVE NEVER MET???
epo9: YEAH
_feuilly_: how have u never met him ur at eponines house like alll the time
epo9: actually fake
claudemoneY: WE MOSTLY STAY AT MY HOUSE BC EPONINES IS IN A MORE BAD PART OF THE CITY AND MINE IS ALWAYS CLOSER THAN HERS
claudemoneY: i think ive only been to eponines like TWICE
claudemoneY: the first time someone thought i was a prostitute and tried to lure me into their car and the second time i was offered heroin THREE times by THREE different people
epo9: ITS ALWAYS LIT IN MY HOOD!!!
claudemoneY: its SCARY
claudemoneY: but i always knew that ponine had a roommate but i never knew who he was
plantastic: well
plantastic: i have a date with him :)
plantastic: hes buying drinks for the whole table :))
plantastic: ur welcome :)))
plantastic: courfeyrac pay up :))))
courffee: THE PERSON THE MYTH THE LEGEND
AP0LL0: good im glad hes coming over to sit with us. i have to have a word with this “montparnasse” guy
AP0LL0: if that even IS his real name
plantastic: i stg if any of u embarrassed me i will END U
MariusFucker: awww :))) what could we ever do to embarrass our little child??
plantastic: i will block u
claudemoneY: COME ON LETS GET THIS PARTY STARTED THOOOOOO
moth_erfucker: ^^^^^^
claudemoneY: SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS
_feuilly_: here we go
10:39 pm
AP0LL0: IM AL READY DRINK WTF THE FUCK
johncena: enjolras ur such lightweight oh my god
jolyranchers: dont u be fretting enhelras im not far behin d;;))))))
10:58 pm
plantastic: hguy s im in love
moth_erfucker: me too
courffee: ME URSELF IM TAG
johncena: ursellf tag im me
chettta: im urself tag me
CosetteFucker: me im ursself tag
AP0LL0: mE TOO
jolyranchers: a;alkjdf me oyoo
BossAssBitch: MEEE
MariusFucker: ^^^
_feuilly_: a;sld i do u eve r thiink about how snake is just one long throat ?????
11:51 pm
claudemoneY: pls someone get apollo off the table hes giving political speeches
12:11 am
chettta: whetsrs bossuet he neesds to gi ve me a lap dance
BossAssBitch: bab e i aowuld love to but im with joly who is thorwing up in the mathroom
BossAssBitch: maht rbeom
BossAssBitch: bathroom
chettta: HWAT THE FUCK IM COMCIANG
12:57 am
-o-
you have entered the group chat “The Holy Trinity”
jolyranchers: u hguys r the best boyfriend adn fgirlfriend in the netuire universe of fbaoydrineds and giurlfrine ds
chettta: joly ur so durnk rn
chettta: : i loive u tho
chettta: joly?
BossAssBitch: yeahh.,,,.,. jlly just droppesd his pohone in the vomit filled toilet
chettta: jesus crhirst im on my way
-o-
you have entered the group chat “Les Amemes”
moth_erfucker: I S ANDYONE ELSE WORRIED ABOUT WH A T TIhER GON NA DO IN TEHW NEW STAR TREK TV SERSIES?? I M JUST REALLY WORREID TH ATTHEY WONT DO IT RI GHT AND IV E BEEN CARRY IT ALL ON SHOULJD ER S
moth_erfucker: do u wnna know a tru e cool space fa c t?
moth_erfucker: if u llllook up there it is
BossAssBitch: wat the wfuck athstas so trippy
1:32 am
claudemoneY: HERE W E GO
claudemoneY: im fainally out there
claudemoneY: jus tlike them gay aliens
claudemoneY: NEWS FLA SH all aliens r gay
moth_erfucker: have any on e see my phone???
johncena: combbererefer im staring at u rn ur holding uit
courffee: i laove my boyfeunad combberererfer
moth_erfucker: a;DKHFA;SKLDFJHA; DFI FORGOT I WAS AHODLING IT OMASDKFA;SLDFK
cluadmoneY: paris
claudemoneY: the ciry of love
claudemoneY: more liake the ciry of GAY AMIRTIE
AP0LL0: ADJAF;;LAKSJD UR SO RIGHT GRANTIARE AHHAHA UR SO FUNNY!!! U GOT THEM SO HARD!!!! DLKFJ;AKJAHAHHAHAHAH HAHAH WOW!!!
claudemoneY: “”””?????
-o-
clademoneY has a new message from AP0LL0
AP0LL0: ur cute
claudemoneY: ur drink
AP0LL0: so r u
claudemoneY: trru e
2:03 am
MariusFucker: where did feeeily go th e a;last time i seen him he w a s undder a table crying abouyo being single
claudemoneY: i THINk him and bathroel wen t home””??
CosetteFucker: ;))))))))))))(;;)))
-o-
moth_erfucker has a new message from courffee
courffee: bab e where r u
courffee: hon
courrffee: swee tea
courffee: i fcant find u
courffee: baby cakes
courffee: baba y
courffee: sugar
courffee: daraling
courffee: doll
courffee: if u don t reply th en nicknames will stsart gettin g m eaner
courffee: loser
courffee: emo 15 year old phase
courffee: magikarp
courffee: last piece of bread
courffee: burnt pasta
courffee: the dust at the bottom of cereal bags
courffee: capitalism
courffee: HWHERE R U
-o-
you have entered the chat “Les Amemes”
2:56 pm
courffee: guysd i cant find comebreffre
epo9: wehere was the last place u had ahim
courffee: at the table
epo9: n whate wwere u doin
courffee: talkin iaabout star wars n he mubmled something about space
epo9: there u go
courffee: ?????
epo9: what s the one thaign comebrereras tingsks about wen hes drunak besdise uou and weidrd moth stiff
courffee: found him
courffee: u were right
courffee: hes was lwayhing in the middle of the street bloscking cars so he acould look at the stars
epo9: ur ewelcome
3:29 am
claudemoneY: someon shoud tporbdably get apollpo home ehes passed oust behind the bar
epo9: Mars E us, closet, music get a, joly, Boxset, come before, Feudally, corn for rock, meant porn ass, barrel, and jeans went home
epo9: srry authrocorect
epo9: but i can do it
claudemoneY: no one?????
claudemoneY: im the only one who can do it
claudemoneY: wo w i cant believe ur making me do sthis alone
claudemoneY: hahah wow literarlay guys ur giving me no choice hahhahha
claudemoneY: okay here i go awhaha
-o-
AP0LL0 has a new message from claudemoneY
3:31 am
claudemoneY: coem on bro ime talkng you ahome
AP0LL0: laslfkjgjkfd;slksj
claudemoneY: me too
claudemoneY: lets get an uber
-o-
claudemoneY has a new message from courffee
3:46 am
courffee: hey bro i jus wannted to make suer my child was still alive.
courffee: just reply to this so i know ur not dead
courffee: it doesnt have to be a coherent sentence
courffee: anything will do
claudemoneY: buSH did 9/11
courffee: perfect
-o-
epo9 has a new message from claudemoneY
3:57 am
claudemoneY: alrigh t enj is in bed n im abouy to leave his apapertment and coing home r u at my apratemtn
epo9: yeash
claudemoneY: good leavse the door opean i loast lmy key
claudemoneY: ans my wallet
claudemoneY: and my coat
-o-
claudemoneY has a new message from AP0LL0
3:58 am
AP0LL0: stays over
claudemoneY: ?????
AP0LL0: dont leabe
claudemoneY: ur drudnk
AP0LL0: so ur too
claudemoneY: goodngiht apollo
AP0LL0: wai t
claudemoneY: what
AP0LL0: cmoe here
-o-
epo9 has a new message from claudemoneY
claudemoneY: fuCK
claudemoneY: FUCL
claudemoneY: FUSDCL A;SFJA;LSFASDKFJA;LSDKF AS;DLKFJ A;SLDKF ;ASDKJF ;ALKSDJF ;ALKDSFJ ;ALKSDFJ ;ALKDJF;AKLSDJF A;SLKDFJ A;SKDFJ A;SDKFJ A;SDA;LSKDJF ;AKSDJF AK;LDSJF A;KSDJF AKLDSJF ;AKDJSF KASDJF ;KASDJFA;KLSDFJ LSKDJF ;ASDKJF;AKSDJF ;KFDJ;AKSDJF ;AKSDFJ;AKSDFJA;SLKDFJA ;SKFJ ;ASLKJF ALSKDJF ;ALSKDJF ;LAKSJF ALSKDJF ;ALKSJFD A;LSKDJF A;LKSDFJ ;ALKSDJFA;LKSDFJ OWEIGJA ;SDLKVAUFB [AEO;FIDNVA ;SLDJN AOEIHF A;IELGKVNA ;DJN A;EG ;AIGH ;AKSDGH A;SDFJ’dfja’sdihf a;sdha ‘djv a’oiegja ;d ;aigh; agf ;adkg ;adkgh ‘askdjf;aksef ;aiowklefj ‘;alksdg aubja hgjolEKFNDVUF;OAJLKMN BEGWFI ;DLVJN ;hwelkrf ndvijslekranf;dienea;jewknfg;hijnagrevfhoawesj;knbvav;owirndfjbugaio;nlkeijosfl;knOIAN;KDFJ NAERHIBA;BKEJNFD; VIHBRLAKJFD,GN ;ABEURJ;FIG KVAN;ERBG;VARJG NV;AKBDFJA;OIGNAKDGJB;AHGJ A;KDGHA;DJKHG;AKDHJSG ‘AOIEWHG VALBF;FLQAEJNFDVUBJREA ;G IWABE F;ODSIHV BALIUEH;G DJNADKBGA;KBG;AKBGA;KBG;AKBG AUIWRG;J’io;rkjgn ;dujkgb ‘OIH A;KRJ GAUERHG [iuehg aoierhg [auerhg a[oiergh na[erouhgb akbfvaoie;rhgnv agbufj ghruekjndvrheg;kdfj vhgekr jndv agobdu;fj aow’irs;fgkzdjnvaegrubjklfoai fgjkdn ag;nrd ‘WEDNSHAJNFEGHIR;FMN,CAHKJFBDNVCMRUYEOGICMNROGIHE;KFJNDMVOIREGH;LKND FCVHIORGDFJKN VO HG;DF
claudemoneY: ohM YO GFD FA’SD
epo9: EHAT IS IT IM TRIYN TO SELLEP
claudemoneY: he TRIED TO KISS ME ILL BE HIME IN 2 MINUTES
epo9: oh my go
claudemoneY: i need another drunk
-o-
you have entered the group chat “PLACE YA BETS”
4:05 am
epo9: reply to this in the morning shit happened
-o-
5:14 am
claudemoneY has a missed call from AP0LL0
claudemoneY has a missed call from AP0LL0
claudemoneY has a new voicemail from AP0LL0: heeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy grantaire!!!!! whaaazzz gooooddd fam???? i juz wanned to say that??? i understand WHY you dont believe in The Cause™ hell sometimes I feel like it wont work sometimes but you just gotta…. you just gotta keep doing it you feel?? but i know what WILL work. …… ….. …. .. .. …. …. .. oh wait you cant see that im winking at you [BEEP]
claudemoneY has a missed call from AP0LL0
claudemoneY has a missed call from AP0LL0
claudemoneY has a new voicemail from AP0LL0: hey R its enjolras again listen bud, i think tonight was really fun and i think that we should get together and bang. I MEAN HANG. sorry, stupid autocorrect [BEEP]
claudemoneY has a missed call from AP0LL0
claudemoneY has a new voicemail from AP0LL0: Enjolras again, i just found this GREAT article on the online about chemtrails and i needed to read it to someone. ready? ok. According to the chemtrail conspiracy theory, long-lasting trails left in the sky by high-flyin aircraft are - god its so hard to read when ur drunk ok - chemical orbi……. or…. I can't read this word …,, agents deliberately sprayed for sinister purposes blah blah blah undisclosed to the general public blah blah blah Believers in the theory argue that normal contrails dissipate relatively quickly, and continu [BEEP]
claudemoneY has a missed call from AP0LL0
-o-
you have entered the groupchat “Les Amemes”
Saturday, 1:34 pm
AP0LL0: fuck