Les Amemes

Combeferre - moth_erfucker
Enjolras - AP0LL0
Joly - jolyranchers
Grantaire - claudemoneY
Marius - CosetteFucker
Cosette - MariusFucker/Cozztte
eponine -epo9
bossuet -BossAssBitch
courfeyrac - courffee
bahorel - johncena
jehan - plantastic
feuilly - _feuilly_
musichetta - chettta

-o-

You have entered the group chat "LesAmemes"

thursday 5:48 am

AP0LL0 : GUESS WHAT TODAY IS!!!!

6:19 am

AP0LL0: everyone make sure to eat a good breakfast

AP0LL0: bc i didnt

AP0LL0: im running on 3 cups of coffee and pure enthusiasm

AP0LL0: but i am READY to FIGHT EVERYONE

7:11 am

AP0LL0: i am less ready to fight and more ready weakly debate

AP0LL0: brb i need more coffee

7:54 am

AP0LL0: I AM AGAIN, READY TO FIGHT

AP0LL0: while we are on the topic of coffee, there is a petition i think you should all sign that is fighting for the environmental rights for coffee bean planters in brazil i’ll email u all a link to the site and u can read up on it, its only like 40 pages long but it’s a really quick read

AP0LL0: we can talk about it at our next meeting

AP0LL0: which is saturday at 6

8:09 am

AP0LL0: whY ISNT ANYONE UP WHAT THE FUCK

8:15

moth_erfucker: goodmorning enj i am up.

moth_erfucker: awe :) courf is so cute when he hoGS ALL THE FUCKING BLANKETS

moth_erfucker: HE LITERALLY HAS ALL THREE OF THE BLANKETS AND ONE ISNT EVEN ON HIM ITS ON THE FLOOR ON HIS SIDE.

moth_erfucker: WE DONT HAVE HEATING IN OUR APARTMENT

moth_erfucker: I AM GOING TO GET SICK

moth_erfucker: AND DIE

moth_erfucker: I AM A DOCTOR I CAN TELL WHEN I AM DYING

moth_erfucker: AND THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF THE END

plantastic: relationship goals

chettta: ok i totally feel ferre but imagine THAT but instead of sharing the bed with ONE other person, its TWO other people

_feuilly_: oh my god that sounds both amazing and horribly terrible

_feuilly_: gaymorning everyone

chettta: gaymorning

plantastic: gaymorning

AP0LL0: FINALLY

AP0LL0: GAYMORNING

AP0LL0: ok i will wait to go over the master plan until we have more people up but lets meet at cafe musain at 11ish?

AP0LL0: but anyone can come earlier i have been here since 6

moth_erfucker: jesus christ enjolras

plantastic: i have just one question

plantastic: why

_feuilly_: tbh im not surprised at all

chettta: does it rlly take u 4 hours to make protest posters

AP0LL0: for ur information i am actually working on my ACTUAL work but i thought i would just get a head start on some of these mayoral reports and whatnot.

MariusFucker: i still find it so weird that ur working for my dad

AP0LL0: goodmorning cosette.

AP0LL0: i couldnt have got this job without your connections

MariusFucker: FAKE

MariusFucker: you could have done it on pure willpower and persistence  

AP0LL0: i dont know, before i got this assistant job, my face was posted in the security offices with a tagline that said “DO NOT LET THIS PERSON IN - UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES”

AP0LL0: so needless to say i did not have many friends in the mayor's office.

chettta: oh my god???

chettta: what did you do to get banned from the mayor’s office

johncena: omg wait i love this story can i tell it

johncena: also gaymorning everyone

chettta: gaymorning

AP0LL0: sure go ahead bahorel

johncena: ok there we were, it was me enjolras, marius and joly outside mayor valjeans office and oh god i dont even remember what we were protesting this was back in like 2012,.. i think it was to like legalize gay marriage? nope, yes i remember now, enjolras was wearing a rainbow crop top and really heavy eyeliner so yes it was a gay rights thing. oh my god THAT WAS SOMETHING TO SEE like u think enjorlas usually looks hot?? you have SEEN NOTHING if u havent seen him in crop tops and messed up heavy eyeliner.

AP0LL0: i regret letting u tell this story

claude_moneY: i have been summoned

claude_moneY: i am awake

claude_moneY: are we talking about how hot apollo is bc like, i am here for that

AP0LL0: OH MY GOD

AP0LL0: i love how friends can just compliment each other like this? u know?? like in a friend way??

claude_moneY: anyways…

chettta: tag urself im enjolras

johncena: ANYWAYS, there we were, and thats when enjolras saw valjean inside

CosetteFucker: AND THATS WHEN I SAW COSETTE

chettta: gaymorning marius

CosetteFucker: goodmorning musichetta

CosetteFucker: i love this story

CosetteFucker: there we were, i was there for moral support bc u know im straight but i totally supported lgbt rights so i was protesting nonetheless

johncena: fine take over my story its totally fine

CosetteFucker: and then i see enjolras turn and get really angry and start to run up the steps of the mayor’s office and i see bahorel try and run after him and im like??? where is he going??

CosetteFucker: and then i turn

CosetteFucker: and i dont even notice enjorlas tackling the mayor to the ground

CosetteFucker: bc i had just seen the most beautiful girl i had ever seen. she was glorious standing there in the midst of all the chaos. graceful and poised yet self assured and powerful. like, i felt like i was falling. like literally falling and that i was going to hit the ground and every little molecule in my body was on edge and then… she looked at me…  i was electrified i was totally aware of my surroundings and yet in the same moment i had forgotten where i was. I was awake yet it felt like a dream.

MariusFucker: LMAO

MariusFucker: I saw u and u were at a gay rights rally.

MariusFucker: Dressed head to toe in rainbows.

MariusFucker: so naturally, i assumed u were gay

MariusFucker: so I was like "aw too bad" and went home.

_feuilly_: relationship goals

moth_erfucker: tag urself im cosette 

johncena: tag urself im marius hijacking my story

claude_moneY: tag urself im marius every time enj walks in the room

AP0LL0: u shouldnt assume sexuality cosette

MariusFucker: I KNOW THAT BUT I THOUGHT THAT IF I WENT UP TO HIM AND LIKE, STARTED FLIRTING WITH HIM HE WOULD BE LIKE "wtf r u kidding me?" U KNOW??

plantastic: tag urself im feuilly thinking that one person thinking the other is gay and giving up right away is realtionship goals

_feuilly_: okay but look at where they are. look at where they started. the fact that theyre together is a miracle. if they could stay together that would be enough to get me to believe in love at first sight.

CosetteFucker: IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.

AP0LL0: tag ureslf im actually me, tackling my future boss to the ground on what turned out to be a MAJOR mistake

claude_moneY: mayorjor mistake

plantastic: why was it a mistake?

johncena: BC MY DEAR JEHAN

johncena: one of the major reasons for that rally if i recall correctly was bc valjean campaigned on the notion that he would fight for lgbt rights but at that point he had been in office for months and hadnt done anything.

johncena: little did we know that valjean was actually on his way to a meeting with higher delegates where he would put up a bill that had some protections for the lgbt community, and also he played a key role in getting gay marriage legalized back in 2013.

AP0LL0: yeah but we didnt know that

AP0LL0: i thought he was just trying to get the minority vote

plantastic: so u tackled him

AP0LL0: essentially

johncena: yeah they had enjolras pinned on the ground in handcuffs it was so hilarious

johncena: they wanted to arrest him but valjean stepped in and was just like lmao let him go its chill.

CosetteFucker: and then i called eponine and made a bet that she wouldnt be able to find this girl that was standing next to the mayor today

MariusFucker: OMG I REMEMBER THAT

MariusFucker: its funny bc me and ep had been texting all day bc like we were best frens even back then

epo9: i am alive.

epo9: gay morning

epo9: i  remember tricking marius into giving me money to find her.

epo9: i was like ‘hmmm…. thats a tough one bud, i can do it but it’ll cost you…”

CosetteFucker: WTF THE HECK??

epo9: and literally while me and marius were talking i was texting cosette and i was like ‘lmao should i trick this boy into paying me?’

epo9: and of course cosette said yes

CosetteFucker: HONESTLY I FEEL SO ATTACKED RIGHT NOW i DIDNT KNOW THIS

CosetteFucker: THAT WAS ALL  MY MONEY

CosetteFucker: I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING I HAD

epo9: it was only like €11 and a giftcard to starbucks that only had like 2 euros left on it??

CosetteFucker: EXACTLY!!!

Cosetteucker: THAT WAS ALL MY MONEY!!

_feuilly_: IM LAHGHING SO HARD

plantastic: YAY FOR BEING POOR!!!

_feuilly_: what happened next

CosetteFucker: do u really wanna know?

_feuilly_: marius i have heard you tell this story like a billion times, especially when ur drunk

_feuilly_: and by  drunk i mean had 1 lite beer and start crying in the corner about how much you love cosette

_feuilly_: but this time we get commentation by cosette and eponine about what ACTUALLY happened That One Summer Gay Day at Pride Where Two Straight People Fell In Love

BossAssBitch: #EXPOSED

MariusFucker: excuse me im not straight AT ALL

MariusFucker: LMAO U  THOUGHT

BossAssBitch: #EXPOSED ##AGAIN

epo9: i can confirm the fact that cosette is not in fact, straight

CosetteFucker: honestly i fear the day when cosette will leave me for ‘ponine

epo9: GOALS

_feuilly_: aNYWAYS

_feuilly_: the story pls

MariusFucker: and then ep texted me and was like ‘my lame friend said that he saw u at a pride rally and hes now in love w/ u or smthng, do u want me to set u guys up or nah.’ and she sent me his insta un.

MariusFucker: and his instagram was full of blurry pictures of his friends, selfies with random dogs he finds on the street and really outdated memes. thats when i knew he was the one.

plantastic: Love At First Instagram Aesthetic

claudemoneY: ok but tbh im always a slut for a good instagram aesthetic

chettta: besides me, grantaire definitely has the best instagram aesthetic in this group

claudemoneY: my art degree is finally paying off.

AP0LL0: i thought you had a degree in dance?

claudemoneY: yeah that too.

AP0LL0: ???

jolyranchers: I AM AWAKE AND FINALLY CAUGHT UP ON THIS CONVERSATION

jolyranchers: 1. enjolras its not good to only sleep 4 hours every night you gotta sleep more my dude. 2. i remember that day it was rlly wild 3. i am now realizing that we need more lesbians in this group there is only eponine?? Or just girls in general???

epo9: RETWEET

jolyranchers: 4. enjolras u didnt know that grantaire had more than one degree?? he majored in like 4 things

claudemoneY: 5 but nbd tbh

jolyranchers: honestly idk how he did it, as his roommate in college i can confirm that he procrastinated every single assignment to the last second and still somehow managed to get them done.

jolyranchers: and/or sweet talked his way out of them.

AP0LL0: what else did you major in??

claudemoneY: oh man i dont even know my bro

claudemoneY: lets see, uhh, dance/choreography, music, traditional painting, graphic design, and sculpture

AP0LL0: that is really impressive actually???

jolyranchers: yeah and he worked THROUGH THE WHOLE THING

epo9: #grantaireisunderappreciated2Kforever

BossAssBitch: ^

chettta: ^^

MariusFucker: ^^^

CosetteFucker: ^^^^

courffee: idk about you guys but i have always appreciated taire

moth_erfucker: ^

johncena: ^^

plantastic: ^^^

_feuilly_: ^^^^

claudemoneY: aw u guys :)))

claudemoneY: thats gay wtf chill

courffee: UR gay

claudemoneY: sent the image  YouGotMeThere.jpeg

AP0LL0: i agree can we get back to politics tho for a sec

AP0LL0: its 9:30 so you all have to be here in an hour and a half or ur on my dunzo list.

CosetteFucker: whats a dunzo list?

AP0LL0: it means you and i.. are dunzo.

AP0LL0: hangin out and getting food together? DUNZO

AP0LL0: carpooling to ABC meetigs? DUNZO

AP0LL0: “hey enjolras wanna come over and talk about the latest episode of how to get away with murder?” no. were DUNZO.

moth_erfucker: courf, babe, we gotta get to the musain like right now

courffee: honestly im still in bed so…

moth_erfucker: yes i know im laying right next to u

courffee: will you make me coffee pls

moth_erfucker: that is so much work tho…

courffee: babe…… pls….. ill give you a blowjob

moth_erfucker: ok g2g going

plantastic: PLS NOT IN THE GROUPCHAT

_feuily_: OH MY GOD

courffee: i am not ashamed. i Will Fuck For Coffee™

epo9: wtf goals tho

AP0LL0: COMBEFFEDER CAN YOU BRING ME COFFEE PLS

courffee: i love my boyfriend, combeffeder

AP0LL0: tbh unnecessary

10:45 am

MariusFucker: me n bae r on our way

BossAssBitch: chill w the rhymes lin miranda

MariusFucker: i take that as a compliment tbh so honestly

MariusFucker: sent the image  CongratsYouPlayedYourself.jpeg

plantastic: me feuilly and barhorel will be on our way as sooN AS FUCKING FEUILLY GETS OUT OF THE GOD DAMN SHOWER

plantastic: I SWEAR OUR WATER BILL HAS TRIPLED SINCE HE MOVED IN.

johncena: RT

_feuilly_: i feel so attacked right now

plantastic: are u

plantastic: r u on ur phone while ur in the shower

_feuilly_: yes???

_feuilly_: i have a waterproof phone case so??

johncena: OH MY GOD

plantastic: UR TEXTING US WHILE UR NAKED

claudemoneY: We Are All Naked Underneath Our Clothes

claudemoneY: i could be naked right now

claudemoneY: and none of u would ever know it

epo9: except for me who is sitting at ur kitchen table staring at u as u cook me breakfast

claudemoneY: I Could Be Naked Right Now And None of U Would Ever Know it Besides Eponine Who Always Seems To Be At My House Even Though She Has Her Own House

epo9: ur apartment is closer to my work

epo9: do u rlly expect me to ride the metro for THIRTY extra minutes almost every night when i could just sleep on ur couch??? lmao u thought.  

chettta: honestly relatable.

johncena: CAN WE GO BACK TO HOW FEUILLY TEXTS US WHILE HES SHOWERING

johncena: BTW HES STIL SHOWERING. ITS BEEN LIKE 35 MINUTES

_feuilly_: honestly if we’re being honest tbh honestly this is the only time i get by myself in my entire life?? and im just trying to relax for a second?? literally stop attacking me i have done nothing wrong i am pure and perfect

johncena: by relaxing do u mean masterbating bc if u masterbate while texting me i will kick u out of our apartment.

_feuilly_: literally u cant kick me out my name is on the lease i will sue u for everything u own.

_feuilly_: which tbh isnt much

_feuilly_: its like a small couch and half a tub of pringles

_feuilly_: so honestly there wouldnt be much of a point to it

_feuilly_: BUT I WILL DO IT ANYWAY TO BE DRAMATIC

johncena: we arent even dating and this is an abusive relationship

plantastic: im platonic divorcing both of u  this isnt working out

plantastic: everyone pack up ur shit  and be out by the end of the week

johncena: why would u hypothetically get to keep the apartment?

plantastic: bc i got here first

johncena: we moved in at the same time???

plantastic: ya but i was the first one who stepped foot into it. i made sure.

johncena: we had just moved in and u were already planning our friendship divorce??

johncena: oh my god

johncena: i feel attacked

johncena: betrayed

johncena: in my own home

johncena: on this, the day of my daughters wedding

johncena: i think i am going into cardiac arrest

johncena: where is combeferre when u need him

courffee: hes making me breakfast

courffee: but im a doctor too

johncena: ur a doctor for animals

courffee: its basically the same thing

courffee: do u feel any sudden stiffness in ur legs and/or paws

courffee: are u irregularly panting

johncena: i am not a dog courfeyrac

courffee: hmm sounds fake tbh

plantastic: i live with bahorel and i can #confirm that he is actually in fact an actual puppy

plantastic: yesterday he couldnt find a clean spoon and he was too lazy to clean one so he ate his cereal like a dog

plantastic: like right out of the bowl

_feuilly_: he will whine if u dont give him enough attention

plantastic: if u dont walk him at least once a day he will get like, all full of energy and run around the apartment

plantastic: once he knocked over one of my plants and it broke the pot

plantastic: i didnt talk to him for an entire week

AP0LL0: im abouta not talk to any of u every again if u dont get here soon.

AP0LL0: so far only marius and cosette arent on my dunzo list

moth_erfucker: me and courf are on our way

AP0LL0: DID U BRING ME COFFEE

moth_erfucker: yes i brought u coffee

AP0LL0: YAAASSSSS

AP0LL0: FUCK IT UPPPPPP

BossAssBitch: enjolras have u ever thought that maybe ur too dependent on caffeine?

AP0LL0: u know…,,,

AP0LL0: i thought about it..

AP0LL0: i just chose not to do anything about it

claudemoneY: relatable

claudemoneY: me and ep are about to leave in like 20 minutes

AP0LL0: that is not ‘about to leave’

claudemoneY: i am sorry that i value a good breakfast??

claudemoneY: it is the most important meal of the day???

AP0LL0: i  havent eaten since like yesterday at lunch tbh

johncena: HE IS FINALLY OUT OF THE SHOWER

johncena: GOD IS REAL

johncena: ok i am going to shower and then were leaving.

johncena: be there in like 15 minutes

chettta: ok off topic but  SOMEONE

chettta: im not going to say WHO

chettta: BUT SOMEONE forgot to PAY OUR POWER BILL

chettta: SO GUESS WHO HAS NO POWER

BossAssBitch: ok honestly this is uncalled for

BossAssBitch: i have never done anything wrong

chettta: he says, as he is sitting in a dark apartment with no heat and a mad bf and gf staring at him

jolyranchers: honestly u had one job bossuet

chettta: i was IN THE SHOWER AND THE LIGHTS WENT OUT AND I SCREAMED

chettta: I ALMOST DIED BC I ALMOST SLIPped

claudemoneY: ok i have totally been there tho

courffee: ^

moth_erfucker: ^^

_feuilly_: ^^^

BossAssBitch: being an adult is hard i am not perfect

BossAssBitch: i mean of course i am perfect but i do not have a v good memory

chettta: sighS

chettta: i mean i guess this situation does present itself with a v good reason to break out my thousands of candles

jolyranchers: how romantic ;)))))

jolyranchers: ohH YM GOD CAN WE DO IT IN A BLANKET FORT

BossAssBitch: im always a slut for blanket fort sex™

plantastic: THIS IS SIN

chettta: enjolras we are going to be 30 minutes late g2g were gonna have sex in a candle lit blanket fort

AP0LL0: this is very unprofessional we are trying to change the world

AP0LL0: but also wear protection pls i dont want a CHILD brought into this world tbh no thx

AP0LL0: our world is very over populated and and there are thousands of kids waiting to be adopted

AP0LL0: hang on i have a really good article about this look out for that in ur emails everyone

johncena: oh my god

MariusFucker: courfeyrac i know you have already left but by any chance r u bringing glitter i need some for the posters

courffee: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

courffee: “ARE YOU BRINGING GLITTER”

courffee: THATS SO FUNNY

courffee: AS IF U EVEN HAVE TO ASK

moth_erfucker: this fucking child and his glitter i stg

moth_erfucker: i find it fucking everywhere

moth_erfucker: in our bed, on my clothes, on the couch, you should see the shower after he gets out.

moth_erfucker: THE OTHER DAY I FOUND IT IN THE FUCKING BUTTER

moth_erfucker: HOW DID IT GET IN THERE???

moth_erfucker: HOW DID GLITTER GET INTO THE BUTTER

courffee: um??? rude tbh

courffee: honestly im breaking up with u

courffee: if u cant handle me at my glitter butter than u cant have me at my “courfeyrac can u pls wear your doctor lab coat to bed i swear i dont have a doctor kink you just look really hot in it”

moth_erfucker has left the conversation “LesAmemes”

courffee: OH MY GODADFAKSJDHFA

claudemoneY: LKDFHA;SKDJFHA;SDLF

epo9: KDFAH;SDKFHJA; OH MY JESUS CHRIST

_feuilly_: IM SOBBING WHAT THE FUCK

courffee: OMG WERE ON THE METRO RN

courffee: HES NOT TALKING TO ME

courffee: HES IGNORING ME

courffee: I STG HES PRETENDING I DONT EXSIST

courffee: hes so cute when hes angry ngl

courffee has added moth_erfucker into the group chat “Les Amemes”

courffee: babe pls

courffee: BABY COME BACK

courffee: I AM SORRY I TOLD THE GROUP ABOUT UR DOCTOR KINK BUT TBH IM PRETTY SURE THE ENTIRE WORLD KNOWS

claudemoneY: i knew

epo9: so did i

MariusFucker: i knew too. Enjolras said that he knew too but his hands are covered in glue so he cant pick up his phone

courffee: PLS

courffee: I LOVE YOU

courffee: pls our stop is coming up and u have my metro card i will be stuck down here forever forced to haunt these metro lines

moth_erfucker: i need new friends tbh

epo9: how will u find another group of friends that so casually accepts ur kinks

moth_erfucker: ok i mean true

claudemoneY: its ok everyone has kinks

claudemoneY: my kink, for example, is dying and being dead

_feuilly_: RT

plantastic: RELATABLE.

AP0LL0: my kink is when MY FUCKING FRIENDS SHOW UP ON TIME FOR SOMETHING

AP0LL0: it is litTERALLY 11:27 AND ONLY MARIUS AND COSETTE ARE HERE

AP0LL0: u r all on my dunzo list

AP0LL0: i am blocking all of u

moth_erfuckr: literally we are almost there

chettta: the holy trinity is leaving now

chettta: and by holy trinity i mean the father, the son, and the holy spirit

chettta: and by the father the son and the holy spirit i mean bossuet joly and me

chettta: we are on our way

jolyrancher: me jehan and bahorel are almost there too

epo9: me and grantaire are walking in rn

claudemoneY: yeah except think i mentioned this before but i cant stay. i have to go to rehearsal and teach these fucking nubes the steps for tonight.

claudemoneY: they dont know the difference between a grand allegro and a pirouette i stg im gonna die

claudemoneY: but anyways, enj i brought you some breakfast bc coffee is not a sustainable meal and you haven’t eaten in almost 24 hours

AP0LL0: oh my god thats so sweet wtf the fuck??

AP0LL0: thank you thats actually really nice???

claudemoneY: no prob my dude

claudemoneY: ok g2g gonna be late

claudemoneY: ur all coming to my show tonight right

chettta: yes

jolyrancher: wouldnt miss it my man

AP0LL0: definitely

epo9: ofc

courffee: ^

moth_erfucker: ^^

johncena: ^^^

BossAssBitch: YAAASSS FUCK IT UPPPPPPP

_feuilly_: tag urself im bossuet

MariusFucker: YES I CANT WAIT

CosetteFucker: is it fancy can we dress up

claudemoneY: i mean its at the Palais Garnier

claudemoneY: so yes fancy would be a good choice

CosetteFucker: what the fuck

BossAssBitch: what the fuck

chettta: what the fuck

MariusFucker: what the fuck

moth_erfucker: what the fuck

courffee: what the fuck

MariusFucker: ENJOLRAS JUST SPIT OUT HIS COFFEE ALL OVER MY POSTER THAT I HAD JUST FINISHED BC WHAT THE FUCK

AP0LL0: WHAT THE FUCK

AP0LL0: WHY DIDNT YOU TELL US YOU WERE PERFORMING AT THE PALAIS GARNIER

AP0LL0: THAT IS LIKE THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS PLACE

AP0LL0: THE ENTIRE BUILDING IS BASICALLY COVERED IN GOLD

AP0LL0: ITS BASICALLY A PALACE

AP0LL0: ONLY THE BEST PERFORM THERE

AP0LL0: THATS LIKE PERFORMING ON BROADWAY

AP0LL0: WHY DIDNT YOU TELL US

AP0LL0: WE COULD HAVE CELEBRATED

courffee: this is so WERID I HAVE NEVER EVEN SEEN YOU DANCE BEFORE

moth_erfucker: this is like when ur friend tells u they have a hobby of reading political articles and then they reveal theyre actually the president of the entire united states and canada

MariusFucker: this is like when ur friend retweets a picture of space but then reveals that they are actually neil armstrong aka the first man on the moon.

claudemoneY: ok tbh honestly i assumed that there was more important political stuff that needed ur attention and no one asked so ????

courffee: RT if u feel like the biggest dick in the world rn

moth_erfucker: RT

MariusFucker: RT

CosetteFucker: RT

BossAssBitch: RT

_feuilly_: RT

chettta: RT

johncena: RT

jolyranchers: RT

AP0LL0: RT

plantastic: ok i knew that grantaire had scored somewhere big but he never fucking mentioned it was at the palais garnier

plantastic: so am i a dick?

plantastic: yes

plantastic: but am i as much as a dick as the rest of you?

plantastic: no

epo9: idk about u losers but ive been to grantaires shows loads of times. ive been backstage making out with the cute girl backup dancers

epo9: i am free from sin

AP0LL0: and u didnt think to tell us?

epo9: i assumed everyone knew

johncena: OK TBH THIS GROUP IS TOXIC AND A MESS

_feuilly_: I HATE ALL OF YOU SO MUCH I CANT BELIEVE WE HAVENT BEEN SUPPORTIVE OF OUR LITERAL CHILD, WHOM WE ALL COLLECTIVELY BIRTHED.

plantastic: how did you get us all tickets tho. each seat is upwards of like two hundred euros???

claudemoneY: uhhh bc its my show lmao

AP0LL0: LITERALLY I JUST LOOKED UP THE SHOW THAT GRANTAIRE IS IN AND HES THE FUCKING LEAD???????

epo9: he also wrote it

claudemoneY: and did the choreography

claudemoneY: and directed it

claudemoneY: and produced it

claudemoneY: and did the casting

claudemoneY: but lmao nbd

plantastic: WA;SDLKFJAS;LKFJAS

courffee: WHAT DUCK DA;SDFHASD

moth_erfucker: OH MY FOD WHITAS THIS IS THE FUCKING ?? WHT

AP0LL0: what THE FUCK IM READING THE REVEIWS ONLINE AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM IS POSITIVE

AP0LL0: ITS BEING PUT UP FOR AWARDS???

AP0LL0: THIS IS SO AMAZING

chettta: LOOK AT MY SON

jolyranchers: PRIDE IS NOT THE WORD IM LOOKING FOR

BossAssBitch: THERE IS SO MUCH MORE INSIDE ME NOW

_feuilly_: relationship goals

_feuilly_: bUT ALSP WAHT EHTE FHA;UCK HONESTLY HOW DID WE NOT KNOW THIS I FEEL SO BAD

claudemoneY: honestly my dudes its chill just come see it tonight and tell me what u think

plantastic: this is going to haunt me for the rest of my life

chettta: i am never going to get over this

claudemoneY: ill see u all tonight im walking into rehearsal but tbh this is amazing and these reactions are totally worth the wait

chettta: WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH

jolyranchers: BREAK A LEG

AP0LL0: THANK YOU AGAIN FOR THE BREAKFAST R

claudemoneY: ur welcome apollo  

claudemoneY has left the group chat “Les Amemes”

moth_erfucker: how the fuck are we supposed to focus on this rally when we just learned that someone in our group is famous and we had no idea

AP0LL0: honestly i have no idea but lets at least try to get these posters done bc the rally starts in like an hour

-o-

AP0LL0 has a new message from courffee

courffee: are u ok my dude,,. u seem a little out of it

AP0LL0: i think im sick

courffee: well i can diagnose animal illnesses but since u are not a dog nor a cat give me a second…

courffee has added moth_erfucker to the group chat

courffee: babe enjolras thinks hes sick

moth_erfucker: whats wrong fam

AP0LL0: my chest feels like its going to explode?? also my throat got really tight a little earlier this morning and my hands are shaking more than normal and also i feel like im going to throw up

moth_erfucker: well, ok some of those are symptoms. like ur hands are probably shaking bc u have basically only drank coffee for the past 24 hours

moth_erfucker: thank god that grantaire brought you that food tho

AP0LL0: THERE IT IS AGAIN OMG IT FELT LIKE I WAS GONNA THROW UP WTF THE FUCK IM JUST TRYING TO JUST J CHILL

courffee: omg

moth_erfucker: when u said ur throat closed up earlier,.... was that about the time grantaire gave you that food?

AP0LL0: now that u mention it?? yeah?? it was about that time

AP0LL0: why, do u think im allergic to something he gave me???

moth_erfucker: wow yes it was TOTALLY the food yup. u dont think… maybe… it was the PERSON?

AP0LL0: what u think im allergic to grantaire? thats outrageous. i mean if anything maybe im allergic to his cats

moth_erfucker: this is helpless

courffee: honestly its amazing

AP0LL0: except ive been around cats before and this didnt happen so i dont think its the cats

moth_erfucker: i think you’ll be fine for now but im gonna check in a little later. maybe before the show tonight to see how u feel

AP0LL0: i really hope im not sick i really dont want to miss this

moth_erfucker: ull be fine i promise.

-o- 

epo9 has added courffee, moth_erfucker, and jolyranchers to the groupchat “PLACE YA BETS”

epo9: me and joly have a bet that enjolras and grantaire will hook up

courffee: they are tbh probably

jolyranchers: except i say that its gonna be by the end of the week

moth_erfucker: the end of the week is in 2 days

jolyranchers: i know what im about son

courffee: how much did you bet

jolyranchers: 10 euros

courffee: ill take that bet

moth_erfucker: i think its gonna take longer than that

epo9: i said the same thing

courffee: ok tbh ur on