Les Amemes

Combeferre - moth_erfucker
Enjolras - AP0LL0
Joly - jolyranchers
Grantaire - claudemoneY
Marius - CosetteFucker
Cosette - MariusFucker/Cozztte
eponine -epo9
bossuet -BossAssBitch
courfeyrac - courffee
bahorel - johncena
jehan - plantastic
feuilly - _feuilly_
musichetta - chettta

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AP0LL0 has created the group chat ‘ Les Amis ’

claudemoneY has changed the group chat name to ‘Les Amemes’

     AP0LL0: are we missing anyone

     claudemoneY: waz good u gays

     claudemoneY: guys*        

     jolyranchers: no i think u had it correct the first time

     moth_erfuckers: ^^

AP0LL0 has changed the group chat name to ‘ Les Amis’

claudemoneY has changed the group chat name to ‘ Les Amemes ’

     AP0LL0: ok i just wanted to remind everyone that the rally is this friday at 2pm and were making signs on thursday.

     CosetteFucker: quick someone how do i change my name on here pls send help S.O.S. 911

     courffee: marius. oh my god. this is beautiful

     CosetteFucker: pls grantaire made my account and he made my username and i cant figure out how to change it

     claudemoneY: NO ONE TELL HIM

     Cozztte: this is so emberassing but also the best thing i have ever seen

     claudemoneY: by far this is the best thing i have ever done

     CosetteFucker: pls i am not comfortable with this

     moth_erfucker: i think we forgot to add jehan and fueilly

     claudemoneY: oh my go d how did u forget to add my children

claudemoneY added “ plantastic ” to the group ‘ Les Amemes ’

claudemoneY added “_ feuilly_ ” to the group ‘ Les Amemes ’

cluademoneY: hello my children, how r u on this glorious and beautiful day

plantastic: wtf grantaire why are u in such a good mood did enjolras talk to u or smthng

_feuilly_: jehan, enjolras is literally in this chat RIGHT NOW omg good job being subtle

claudemoneY: O H MY GOFDF

claudemoneY: WHAT DFUDCK YOUGF

plantastic: OH SHIT LMAO

plantastic: honestly my bad this ones on me

claudemoneY: IM DHIUGNA;AD;A

claudemoneY: AIDHF;AAKDBF

claudemoneY: GOODBYE FOEEVRE R KSJDFH;A

claudemoneY has left the chat ‘ Les Amemes ’

epo9: that was the saddest thing i have ever seen

AP0LL0: wait what just happened:

epo9: enjolras,, sweety :)

AP0LL0: im so confused

_fueilly_: nothing my dude, everything is peachy

moth_erfucker: tag urself im grantaire

courffee: tag urself im enjolras

johncena: tag urself im jehan

AP0LL0: ????????????????

CosetteFucker: okay but i still need help fixing my username

Cozzttee: honestly dont change it i think its halarious

Cozzttee: in fact im changing mine to match ok brb

Cozzttee has left the group chat ‘ Les Amemes’

BossAssBitch: ok wait what happening i was busy doing things

jolyrancher: im things

chettta: so am i

jolyrancher: wuz up guys

epo9: MUSICHETTA!!

chettta: EPONINE!!

johncena: BOSSUET!

BossAssBitch: BAHOREL!!

courffee: JOLY!!

jolyrancher: COURFEYRAC!!

_feuilly_: feuilly!

_feuilly_: hey fueilly, i love you and its okay that ur not dating anyone bc i love and appreciate u, ur doing great my dude. love - feuilly.

jolyracher: r u done being bitter

_feuilly_: no fuck off i will always be bitter ™

plantastic: im with u bud

epo9: RT RT RT RT

johncena: me

AP0LL0: ok im single too but can we pls get back to politics?

epo9: but ur single by choice enj

AP0LL0: WTFS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

moth_erfucker: chill fam

AP0LL0: i mean sURE i would like to be with someone??? sure. but like i just ?? u know?? im not entitled to anyone having feelings for me and even if i DID like someone, WHICH I DONT OF COURSE when would i have time for a relationship??? i am so busy??? im trying to change the WORLD OVER HERE

courffee: here we go

AP0LL0: like no one i know actually has feelings for me, theyve obviously made that pretty clear, so when would i have time to go on dates or meet people?? and liking  a person takes so long for me?? its so draining. like okay, do i daydream about holding someones hand at the pride parade?? im not admitting to that but, maybe. do i wish i had someone i could force to proofread my letters to congress?? sure. but a boyfriend?? LOL U THOUGHT.

epo9: honestly this is sad

AP0LL0: all im saying is that im perfectly fine on my own rn.

BossAssBitch: tag urself im the denial in the above text

courffee: OH MY OGD

epo9: this is my favorite Enjolras Rant™ this week

CosetteFucker: ok wait cosette just texted me she wants me to add her back in

MariusFucker joined the chat ‘ Les Amemes’

MariusFucker: do you guys like my new username

CosetteFucker: OH MY GFOS DFA;LK

CosetteFucker: WHAT IS STHIS

MariusFucker: isnt it amazing

johncena: PLEASE go to church

MariusFucker: says u

johncena: u got me there.

CosetteFucker: literally this is worse than that time cosettes dad walked in on us that one time when we were doing it

courffee: marius cant even say the word ‘sex’ thats so cute

BossAssBitch: tag urself im marius

CosetteFucker: hoenstly courfeyrac i feel so attacked right now i dont like that word it feels dirty LEAVE ME ALONE

moth_erfucker: sex sex sex sex sex

BossAssBitch: sex sex sex sex

_fueilly_: sex (is what im not having bC IM ALONE)

plantastic: RT

johncena: quick someone add grantaire back in he would like this conversation

Epo9 added claudemoneY to the group chat ‘ Les Amemes’

chettta: SEX!!

claudemoneY: i am so here for this

AP0LL0: FRIDAY = RALLY. THURSDAY = SIGNS.

_feuilly_: what is enj mummbling on about now

MariusFucker: this chat was supposed to be an update on that Pro-Choice Rally thats on friday and we are all gonna get together on thursday to make posters n stuff.

claudemoneY: is that what this is?? i thought it was like a protest against mass incarceration or smthng

AP0LL0: that was last week grantaire.

AP0LL0: while we’re on the topic.,

AP0LL0: THIS IS A CALL OUT POST FOR R  BC HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO WASNT THERe LAST WEEK

claudemoneY: ok first off, chill

claudemoneY: secondly, i was PERFORMING on STAGE u know, cause thats MY JOB to get so that i can get MONEY so i can PAY MY RENT and buy FOOD so that i can LIVE  

claudemoneY: LET ME LIVE

claudemoneY: do you want me to DIE apollo??

claudemoneY: do u want me to die like those little baby polar bears u always talk about that r dying bc of global warming??? i am a polar bear and enjolras is global warming.

moth_erfucker; did u just call enjolras hot

epo9: oh my god he did

claudemoneY: well im not wrong am i

_feuilly_: no ur not wrong

AP0LL0: this is flattering but also very offensive bc u compared me to one of the biggest problems facing our planet, so thank you, but also fuck u.

courffee: u got that right ;)))  ^^

AP0LL0: pls chill

claudemoneY: i think the metaphor fits nicely tbh

plantastic: honestly so do i

AP0LL0: i feel so attacked right now tbh

plantastic: no think about it, Enjolras is a force that demands to be reckoned with, republicans like to ignore him and pretend he doesn't exist. also; hot. grantaire, a polar bear; cuddly, likes snow, sleeps a lot, will fight at any given moment.

claudemoneY: aw this is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me

AP0LL0: honestly,, me to tbh

courffee: most people arent serious when they say that but i have a feeling that both of u r being serious.

claudemoneY: oh i am 100% serious im printing this out and framing it. Jehan i love you.

AP0LL0: most people use words like “aggressive” “pushy” “a pain in the ass” and once i even got “Left wing liberal fascist scum whos degree was printed on the back of the communist manifesto.”

MariusFucker changed the group name to ‘ Left Wing Liberal Fascist Scum ’

AP0LL0: so yes, thats high up there on the list of nice things people have said about me.

moth_erfucker: oh my god this is making me so emo

courffee: THIS IS SO SAD IM SO EMO

chettta: NEW RULE EVERYONE BE NICER TO E AND R

_feuilly_: I LOVE U BOTH SO MUCH

claudemoneY: i accept love in both cash and credit forms, my paypal is edwardHOEper and u all know my address to send cash via mail

AP0LL0: i dont know your address.

claudemoneY: u’ve been to my apartment before??

AP0LL0: no i havent??

BossAssBitch: yeah u have remember it was me, musichetta, joly, grantaire, combeffere, courfyerac, and u and we were out late drinking and then joly got sick bc he is a v v v v v v v v lightweight and he was like throwing up and grantaire was basically the only completely sober one besides me bc damnnnnnnnnnnnn can he hold his liquor

jolyrancher: i dont remember this

BossAssBitch: of course you dont babe its okay

chettta; it was like 4 months ago

BossAssBitch: right anyways, joly was super sick and grantaires apartment was the closest so we brought him there and everyone ended up falling asleep??

AP0LL0: THAT WAS WHERE U LIVE????

AP0LL0: THAT WAS IN SUCH A SKETCHY NEIGHBORHOOD

AP0LL0: THAT WAS SUCH A SMALL APARTMENT IT WAS LIKE ONE ROOM

claudemoneY: UMMM???? i ALSO have a bathroom excuse u wtf

AP0LL0: AND WHY WERE THERE SO MANY CATS???? WTHAT THE FUCK THERE WERE LIKE 4 CATS

claudemoneY: it gets cold in the winter??? i leave the window open a bit for the cats to come in??? sue me???

AP0LL0: oh my god.

AP0LL0: i thought we were at like a drug dealers house or smthng

AP0LL0: oh my god

AP0LL0: i threw up on ur carpet.

claudemoneY: ya u never apologized for that.

claudemoneY: I SPENT AN HOUR SCRUBBING UR VOMIT FROM MY CARPET U ASSHOLE.

jolyracher: not cool man.

claudemoneY: joly u have no room to talk muichetta and bossuet spent TWO hours cleaning my bathroom bc of u.

BossAssBitch: its okay fam what are boyfrinds and girlfrinds for :)

chettta: yeah joly we love u it was gross but also kinda cute

BossAssBitch: mostly gross though

chettta: yeah, mostly gross

jolyracher: U GUYS ARE HOENSTLY THE BEST. IM COMING HOME RIGHT NOW WITH TAKEOUT. IM GETTING UR FAVORITE, THAT VEGAN SUSHI FROM THAT PLACE U GUYS LIKE A LOT.

jolyracher: originally it was just bc i was hungry but now think of it as a “Thank U For Cleaning Up My Vomit For Two Hours While I Was Passed Out On Our Friends Floor Even Though I Don’t Remember Any Of This” Gift

BossAssBitch: FA;DKFJA;L SDFAIM SO EXCITED

chettta: FUCK YESSS IM STARVING.

jolyrancher: I WILL BE HOME IN LIKE 20 MINUTES

plantastic: wtf :( i want sushi

BossAssBitch: come over my parents arent home ;)

plantastic: honestly can i i have no plans tonight

BossAssBitch: musichetta says its okay, joly?

jolyracher: FUCK yeAH ill get more sushi

_feulliy_: im already on my way over bc im not about to be bitter ™  all night alone

jolyrancher: only if u bring ice cream

_feuilly_: do u rlly think that little of me that i wouldnt bring ice cream LOL NICE TRY BITCH  NEXTTT

_feuilly_: i have cookie dough and triple chocolate fudge

jolyrancher: THIS IS AN OPEN INVITE TO ANYONE WHO WANTS TO COME SUSHI/ICE CREAM/NETFLIX AND CHILL AT ME CHETTAS, AND BOSSUET'S APARTMENT.

moth_erfucker: me and courfeyrec r in bed and he literally passed out like 10 minutes ago so were good. be safe kids.

jolyrancher: literally its 9:05 pm

moth_erfucker: ok ur point

_feuilly_: u guys are literally old men

moth_erfucker: goodnight fuckers

claudemoneY: goodnight dad i love U

moth_erfucker: goodnight son

moth_erfucker: im taking courfs phone and remonving him from from the group chat so the buzzing doesnt wake him up

claudemoneY: u know his password? relationship goals

moth_erfucker: ya bc we have somethng called TRUST

jolyrancher: i bet combefferes password is smthng nerdy like “6684”

claudemoneY: what does that spell

moth_erfucker: what the FUCK

jolyrancher: literally ‘moth’

claudemoneY: PLEASE TELL ME UR PASSWORD ISNT ‘MOTH’

moth_erfucker has left the group chat ‘ Left Wing Liberal Fascist Scum ’

Courffee has left the group chat ‘ Left Wing Liberal Fascist Scum ’

claudemoneY: oh my god it was totally moth wasnt it.

claudemoneY: what a nerd

jolyrancher: grantaire r u gettin up in this party

claudemoneY: nah fam i have a performance again tmorrow i am so tired plus one of my cats is pregnant and i wanna be here in case anything happens u feel.

AP0LL0: OH MY GOD UR CAT IS PREGNANT

jolyrancher: okay fam i feel, give george washingturnt my regards.

AP0LL0: george washingturnt????

claudemoneY: my pregnant cat

AP0LL0: you named your pregnant cat george washingturnt??

claudemoneY: she wasnt pregant at the time, and i didnt think she was a she ok

claudemoneY: also fuck gender roles if my girl cat wants to have a boys name then she can

plantastic: RT RT

AP0LL0: ok u got me there

AP0LL0: i hope ur cat is okay

jolyrancher: marius??? cosette??

CosetteFucker: we r waiting outside ur apartment

BossAssBitch: why didnt u ring the buzzer???

CosetteFucker: bc Cosette saw a dog and shes been petting it for the past 10 minutes

_feuilly_: IF THAT AINT ME

_feuilly_: IM SPRINTING NOW

_feuilly_: IM 2 BLOCKS AWAY DONT LET THE DOG LEAVE

jolyrancher: im almost there too omg

jolyrancher: enjolras, bahorel, or eponine, r u guys coming

johncena: dude ive been at ur house all day

jolyrancher: ?????

chettta: ????
BossAssBitch: ?????

johncena: i slept over last night????

chettta: where r u????  we havent seen u at all????

johncena: ive been in the extra room?? literally i have walked around all day i went to the kitchen and ate ur food and made coffee this morning??

BossAssBitch: THATS where that coffee come from?? i thought that was joly

jolyrancher: i assumed it was musichetta

chettta: LOL U THOUGHT I WAS UP BEFORE 8

epo9: TAG URSELF IM BAHOREL

claudemoneY: tag urself im bosseut and musichetta

AP0LL0: tag urself im the coffee

MariusFucker: okay can u guys buzz us up joly is here too and he has food.

johncena: FUCK YESSS

jolyrancher: wait are enjolras and eponine coming???

epo9: just saw this and literally omw rn

jolyrancher: enjolras???

AP0LL0: literally im in a different city rn????

claudemoneY: what to heck

jolyrancher: why the fuCK

epo9: ????

AP0LL0: WHY DO NONE OF U GUYS REMEMEBR  THSI WHAT T EHFUCK

AP0LL0: I LITERALLY POSTED IT EVERTWHERE AND UPDATED YOU ON MY SCHEDULE YESTERDAY???

MariusFucker: ok moment of honestly, most of the time i tune out enj bc all of his emails are articles on random situations that lack equality or justice with the subject line “ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!” or “THIS IS WHY WE NEED FEMINISM” or smthng along those lines.

claudemoneY: IF THIS AINT ME

claudemoneY: RETWEET

claudemoneY: REBLOG

AP0LL0: I FEEL SO BETRAYED

AP0LL0: I WHAT ASDFA; FUCK

AP0LL0: for any of u who CARE, i am in NICE. because its NICE over here. UNLIKE U FUCKERS.

epo9: why the FUCK r u in NICE btw im here joly buzz me up

jolyrancher: gottchu fam

AP0LL0: BECAUSE I HAVE A FUCKING JOB

AP0LL0: i will be back tomorrow for those of you WHO DONT HATE ME.

AP0LL0: HONESTLY IM SO DONE.

AP0LL0: THIS GROUP IS SO TOXIC

AP0LL0: IM GOING TO BED FUCK U GUYS

AP0LL0: but also i love you all and value our friendships and  you have all impacted im life greatly.

AP0LL0: BUT FUCK YOU GUYS I HATE YOU

claduemoneY: goodNIGHT apollo

AP0LL0: goodnight, R.

AP0LL0 has left the group chat ‘ Left Wing Liberal Fascist Scum ’

claudemoneY has renamed the group chat ‘Les Amemes’

_feuilly_: ok grantaire you can breath again enjolras is gone

claudemoneY: honestly i have no idea what ur talking about tbh

plantastic: i cant believe you called him hot

claudemoneY: literally i feel so attacked right now delete urselves

epo9: literally this is so sad rn

CosetteFucker: yeah i mean tbh even i can see it and i never notice anything???

claudemoneY: LITERALLY I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU GUYS ARE TALKING ABOUT AND I AM OFFENDED AND DISTRAUGHT AT THIS HORRENDOUS ASSUMPTION. THE AUDACITY OF THIS ACCUSATION IS BOTH INFURIATING AND UNFORGIVABLE

BossAssBitch: aww :)) there he goes :)) trying to use big words to distract us :))

BossAssBitch: classic grantaire.

MariusFucker: classic

claudemoneY has left the group chat ‘ Les Amemes’

jolyrancher: nOOOOoooOOOOOOOOOoooOoOo

jolyrancher has added claudemoneY into the group chat ‘Les Amemes ’

jolyrancher: dad wtf u cant leave without saying goodnight

claudemoneY: i am being attacked

claudemoneY: gaynight son i love you

plantastic: gaynight

epo9: gaynight

BossAssBitch: gaynight u gays

johncena: i hope u all get laid tonight

johncena: ok wait i take that back bc most of us are in the same room

chettta: ;)))))))

chettta: are you thinking what im thinking

BossAssBitch: ORGY

jolyrancher: ORGY

MariusFucker: ORGRYY

MariusFucker: oh my god we all said that at the same time askdjfhla

_fueilly_: i may be single but im not desperate

_fueilly_: okay im desperate but i have morals

_fuilly_: ok i dont have many morals but im not into fucking my friends

_feuilly_: most of my friends

_feuilly_: i think im talking myself into this

plantastic: no

plantastic: NOT HAPPENING

CosseteFucker: I agree with jehan

epo9: LITERALLY EVERYONE CHILL WE ARE NOT HAVING AN ORGY

claudemoneY: okay u gays have fun but not too much fun

claudemoneY: gaynight my dudes and dudettes and beautiful babes who dont fit into those two categories

claudemoneY: im out fuckers

claudemoneY has left the group chat ‘Les Amemes’