Blood Makes Noise
”Hey you… I’ve really missed your cute little face!” Abby hugged her tightly. Therese was beaming. It was wonderful to see Abby again even if just for business. Not being able to be with Carol, it was the second best thing. “When did you get back?” she asked. “The day before yesterday”, Abby replied, “I’m so happy to be back, you can’t possibly begin to understand how very tedious it’s been…”
Abby had been touring with Carol for a week or so, and she did look exhausted. “I’d be happy never to look at my phone again… for a while I was certain it had attached itself to my ear for good.” Amused, Therese couldn’t help but chuckle at her remark and the pained expression she had on her face.
“Carol sends her love”, she smiled hugging her once more. “I’m sure she’d like to send you a lot more as well, but I guess it would be inappropriate of me to start channeling her in more detail..?” Abby winked mischievously. Therese made a face at her not really being annoyed at all. She thought of Carol and sweet warmth pervaded her body. “It would be, indeed,” she confirmed smiling.
“I thought we’d have time for a proper lunch but no such luck. Therefore I had something arranged in here.” A table for two was set in the adjoining meeting room. They sat down to eat flipping through their respective calendars.
“There are quite a few performances for you this month alone but I’m sure you’ve got them down already?” Therese nodded. “And I have spectacular news for you…” Abby looked very excited. “What? What?” Therese demanded. “…you’ve been accepted to take part in the next Helsinki International Maj Lind Piano Competition! It’s you stairway to the stars and the big money…”
Dumbfounded, Therese just stared at her. “You heard me! The competition for young pianists!” Oh my god… “There will be three rounds in the competition and the repertoire must be performed from memory with the exception of the commissioned work in the second round.” Abby handed over the notes she had on the matter. “It’s a tough spot with strict guidelines, but I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that, right?” No, she didn’t. Therese could already feel tension building up. This was something she had never done before and she would have to start preparing for it right away. I'll start with the Bach prelude tomorrow, she decided.
“So you’re excited, yes?” Abby poured some Merlot in her glass. “Of course… I’m just…” Therese started, “…completely blown over by this.” Sipping her drink, Abby flashed a lovely smile. “You’ll do splendidly, honey. You need to talk this over with Mrs French as soon as possible, I presume?” Mrs. French was her piano professor now after Mrs Robichek had told her there was nothing new she could teach her anymore.
They toasted for the good news and ate in silence for a while. “You happen to know anything about Carol’s schedule for upcoming weeks?” Therese asked her thoughts drifting once again to her lover. “Sure. Hasn’t she told you about them already?” Abby looked surprised. “Four more weeks of concerts and press junkets. She’s going to be one busy girl… I don’t envy her.”
The fork Therese had lifted stopped in midair which Abby was only too quick to notice. “Listen, I know this is hard and I happen to know she’d love nothing better than to be here with you.” Therese kept staring at her half empty plate. “You do know that, right?” Still she didn’t say a word. Why hadn’t Carol told her about it if it had all been decided already? Why wasn’t she been made part of these decisions? Angry and frustrated, she ignored Abby’s question and ate the rest of her food. It tasted bitter all of a sudden.
“When were you going to tell me about it?” she demanded over the phone. “Darling, I just found out yesterday and tried to call you this morning…” Carol sounded way too flippant about it, she thought. She had missed her call, though, that much was true. “So we’re going to be apart four more weeks?” Her voice was angry now.
“Dearest…” Carol started, “I don’t like the tone of your voice, not one bit, especially since I’m not at all happy about it either.” She paused for a while. “Do you want me to just drop everything and come home?” Of course Therese didn’t. “I will if you want me to.” Depressed, Therese let out a sigh. “I don’t mean it like that, you should know better.” Another pained pause. “Why don’t you come over here for a couple of days? We could be together, at least wake up together every morning…” There was hopefulness in Carol’s voice.
Therese thought it over but she couldn’t just take off and forget about the work load ahead of her. “The Carnegie concert is coming up next week and I’m still not ready,” she said feeling rotten, “Maybe later, I’ll think about it.” But she knew already she wouldn’t be able to steal away for even a little while. She’d spent the late afternoon discussing the competition with Mrs French who had told her in no uncertain terms how huge an undertaking it would be for her. The first round alone consisted of six different works she wasn’t yet too familiar with.
The call left her sullen and morose. Picking up her overcoat, Therese left the apartment she couldn’t stand for the moment. She needed a change of scenery, she needed Gen.
“So, how’s your friend?” asked Katherine Cantrell passing Therese a bowl of potatoes over the dinner table. “Friend? Your friend?!” exclaimed Gen glaring at her mother. “She’s your friend too if you’ve happened to have forgotten!” Gen wasn’t going to let her mother off the hook. “Her name is Carol and it’s not like they’re having some sort of a Boston marriage either! She’s Therese’s lover, her significant other, if you will – it wouldn’t hurt you to face the facts every once in a while, now would it?”
Therese sank in her chair hoping she’d just leave it at that. Gen’s brother Charlie was snickering on the other side of the table. “No need to raise your voice, Genevieve”, Katharine snapped back visibly upset. She had a hard time picturing her old friend having intimate relations with a woman of her own daughter’s age.
"Well, how’s your… how is Carol?” she acquiesced to. Fuming with righteous indignation, Gen settled for a sigh. “Oh, she’s fine. Busy, but fine,” Therese replied not wanting to elaborate on the subject. “I bet she is, with a new hit record up on her sleeve and all.” Katherine sat down and laced her well-manicured fingers together. “It must be very exciting for her… to be the center of the attention again, everyone lavishing her with grand gestures and attention.” Therese stiffened in her chair.
“She used to be quite a wild girl in her day. At about your age, Therese, if I remember correctly.” Gen sprang to life all of a sudden. “Sounding positively envious there, Mom? What the fuck’s your point?” Let it go, let it go… “Mind your language, Genevieve, I mean it!” Katherine’s voice was livid. “We have a guest at our table and I’m sure she doesn’t appreciate your foul behavior any more than I do.” She could see another Cantrell family feud building up. This was starting to be yet another fucked-up evening in the life of Therese Belivet.
“I’m so sad and lonely I could scream,” she confessed to her friend later when they were sitting at her old family room. “Don’t mind my mother, she’s an idiot,” Gen explained, “she’s just a frustrated house wife with nothing meaningful to do except be on my case all the time…” Therese knew she wanted to cheer her up but right now she was beyond cheering. “At least you have a girlfriend, for Chrissakes – someone who truly loves you.” Gen put her arm around her. “This is just temporary. You’ll work things out.” I wonder, she thought not being able to shake her uneasy feelings away.
Gen’s mom had hit a nerve even if she was reluctant to admit it. Seeing pictures of Carol in the tabloids and all over the internet, strange people stopping by Carol’s official website leaving lovesick messages on its fan wall made her increasingly nervous. I’m being silly, Therese reminded herself knowing full well such things meant nothing to Carol who probably hadn’t even taken the time to browse her own site. Still, it rattled Therese.
“Have you heard anything from Alex?” she asked Gen just to change the subject. “No… not since the drunken call a month ago…” Gen looked at her sharply. “Have you… heard of Alex?” Her expression was one of a wounded puppy. “No. I just thought you might have heard something,” she said hastily. “She must have started her job at the Met, though.” Alex was an art historian. Gen stared ahead not saying a word.
“What happened with you two?” Therese really wanted to know. “I don’t know, the obvious, I guess.” The obvious? Therese was puzzled. “I suppose it was – to a certain extent – the age old case of LBD once again…” Gen started reluctantly. “LBD? What the fuck’s LBD?” she inquired.
“The Lesbian Bed Death. It usually hits somewhere around the two-and-a-half year mark, but I guess it took a bit longer with us.” What the hell? After two years? All the alarms within Therese’s body went off. “Jesus, Therese… I didn’t mean it happens with all the couples and definitely not with you two!” Gen was squirming. “And it’s a stupid myth any way, something some straight asshole came up with in the 80’s…”
Therese buried her face in her hands. Did Carol stay away because she didn’t want her anymore??? “Therese, honey – oh I’m so stupid I could just kick myself – it really has nothing to do with anything. Sexual attraction, or the affinities Dannie is so keen to talk about, is not something that just comes and goes.” Gen was desperate to get it right. “I mean, of course we all have to keep working on it, you know, keep the relationship alive. Me and Alex, we just slipped into our routines… we forgot to take care of it.” She sounded sad, regretful.
“You and Carol, you two have nothing to be afraid of. I’ve never seen two people more in love or more in lust with each other.” Gen rubbed her cheeks gently. “It’s written on both of your faces every single time I see you two together and I’m so friggin’ envious – and so friggin’ happy for you guys.” Wiping away a tear, Therese leaned her head on Gen’s shoulder. “I just miss her so much it’s killing me.” Cuddled close together, they stayed on Gen’s bed for a long time.
Therese left around 9 PM. Gen had asked her if she’d like to go out later on but she didn’t feel like it. Besides she wanted to call Carol. She would also need to practice tomorrow, really focus on it from now on.
Having dialed Carol’s number, she waited. No reply. Therese tried again. Nothing. Not even her voicemail.
Thinking of going over her email, she opened her lap top and the web browser. Without really giving it another thought she typed Carol’s name on the search engine and waited… the hits were piling up one after another yet only one captured her attention instantly. She clicked on the TMZ link:
Carolyn Ross is back in LA with another string of hits – and look who is also stringing along… none other than her former squeeze, the record company executive Lou Williams. Sources connected to Lou tell us the relationship between the comeback queen and her faithful male servant may very well be heating up…”
WHAT THE FUCK?!? Therese was gasping for air. The grainy news photo of Carol with an unknown man beside her was spinning in front of her eyes. Panic stricken she got up on her feet trying to understand what had just happened. Breathe, breathe, she repeated to herself unable to keep it together anymore.
Her heart pounding in agony and her ears ringing, she could sense yet another set of emotions emerging. The anger and jealousy rising from a dark, frightening abyss within her, she picked up her cell phone and dialed.
“Gen, where are you? I’ve changed my mind. I’m coming over. I really feel like getting totally smashed tonight… yeah, no time like the present.”
Grabbing her coat she shot a fierce glance at the photo of Carol smiling at her on the mantelpiece. Hell, if I’m going to stay here and pine after you while you’re… well, whatever the fuck it is you’re doing!