Doctor Gercules and the Incurable Case of Gay Drama
corsetz28: where the fuck is alex
turt13.10v3r: donut worry he’s at my place
corsetz28: ???
turt13.10v3r: he needed to talk to someone
corsetz28: i honestly don’t know why he doesn’t come to me im literally in the same dorm as him we are d a t i n g too damn
turt13.10v3r: he wants me to tell u that you were asleep at 4am
corsetz28: and u werent bc????
turt13.10v3r: i was exercising
corsetz28: …….
corsetz28: at 4am
turt13.10v3r: yes
corsetz28: can u tell me y?
turt13.10v3r: no
jefferoni.macaroni: wait im reading what was sent last night and what happened?
jefferoni.macaroni: i dont rly understand
turt13.10v3r: ,,,
turt13.10v3r: alex said its irrelevant
jefferoni.macaroni: but? I want to know?
jefferoni.macaroni: for gossip reasons ofc
jefferoni.macaroni: yeah
corsetz28: tjeffs r u sick
corsetz28: does madison have the flu or smthn
corsetz28: i think you both need to see a doctor
jefferoni.macaroni: what
corsetz28: you never want to know details abt alex’s life
jefferoni.macaroni: but? i want to know all the time? wat r u talking abt?
turt13.10v3r: alex told me to tell u to shut up
jefferoni.macaroni: no
jefferoni.macaroni: because alex would normally say no to that
jefferoni.macaroni: i know his mannerisms see
turt13.10v3r: congrats ur a creeper
jefferoni.macaroni: thanks?
corsetz28: do you need me to call an ambulance
corsetz28: should i send it to ur dorm
jefferoni.macaroni: im at monticello for the weekend
corsetz28: should i send it to monticello
jefferoni.macaroni: no bc im NOT sick
turt13.10v3r: u may have gotten alex sick too
jefferoni.macaroni: what
turt13.10v3r: he’s saying that you are just trying to help kind of
turt13.10v3r: he just told me not to send that to the chat
turt13.10v3r: oops
corrsetz28: 2 ambulances comin right up
jefferoni.macaroni: im NOT sick damn
turt13.10v3r: wow johns not getting this back ps. timmy u dont need to know everything that happens in my li f e
jefferoni.macaroni: well sometimes i care abt what happens to my frenemies
jefferoni.macaroni: *enemies
jefferoni.macaroni: there’s no f there
corsetz28: so by “not sick” you mean “terminally ill”
turt13.10v3r: we’re not friends and you do not care about me
jefferoni.macaroni: *****enemies there’s no f
turt13.10v3r: ah yes thomas my renemy
jefferoni.macaroni: **there no fr GET OFF MY CASE
turt13.10v3r: *there’s
jefferoni.macaroni: IM GOING TO SCROOM
jefferoni.macaroni: *SCREAM
turt13.10v3r: SCROOM IM CRYING
corsetz28: well it seems this particular disease messes with one’s ability to english
corsetz28: my diagnosis
corsetz28: hiding one’s romantic feelings
jefferoni.macaroni: I DO NOT HAVE ROMANTIC FEELINGS FOR LEXIE NO
corsetz28: lexie?? pet name?
jefferoni.macaroni: IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DEGRADING
turt13.10v3r: wow isnt this a nice conversation lets stop having it now
jefferoni.macaroni: YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO TELL IF I HAD A CRUSH ON HIM
corsetz28: well what a coinkydink i CAN tell
jefferoni.macaroni: i
@turt13.10v3r has added @hamil.lion to the chat
hamil.lion: he took his phone back ://
jefferoni.macaroni: good i was beginning to get confused
turt13.10v3r: WHY DO YOU CARE
comma.sexting: psa: twenty one pilots’s new song is amazing
hamil.lion: thank u for this lets talk about tøp instead of this mess
jefferoni.macaroni: ok but im so pumped for suicide squad ??
comma.sexting: bc ur a scene meninist
jefferoni.macaroni: but jem doesn’t want to go
jefferoni.macaroni: GOSH ANGIE STOP WITH THE MENINIST THING
comma.sexting: if you call me angie again i will slit your throat
hamil.lion: he didn’t object to being scene
jefferoni.macaroni: we already had this conversation alex???
hamil.lion: yeah like three months ago
hamil.lion: i want to talk about your emo obsession more now
turt13.10v3r: wait
turt13.10v3r: wait guys
jefferoni.macaroni: does it have to do with suicide squad
turt13.10v3r: what happened at the concert
hamil.lion: concert what concert
jefferoni.macaroni: GUYS DID YOU HEAR MCR’S POSSIBLY GETTING BACK TOGETHER
corsetz28: so hiding romantic feelings and an extreme case of “eyeliner flu”
comma.sexting: what does that even mean
corsetz28: it’s like
corsetz28: the emos
comma.sexting: if you have to explain your joke it’s not funny
corsetz28: ok
loafayette: good morning everyone
hamil.lion: HEY LAF HOW IS YOUR DAY
loafayette: i just woke up 5 seconds ago
loafayette: to find out that two of my friends are in love with my boyfriend so thats cool
turt13.10v3r: YES LETS TALK ABOUT THAT
turt13.10v3r: and what happened at the concert
turt13.10v3r: did u guys hook up in the bathroom or something
hamil.lion: NONONONONONONO NO
hamil.lion: goddam how unclassy do u think i am john in a concert bathroom? really?
jefferoni.macaroni: u think i would hook up with anyone in a porta-potty? wow
turt13.10v3r: but you didnt deny hooking up?
jefferoni.macaroni: WE DIDNT
hamil.lion: sure we hooked up. junior year in highschool
loafayette: what a wonderful way to start the day
jefferoni.macaroni: A L E X A N D E R
corsetz28: um
turt13.10v3r: what happened at the concert then??? did u guys kiss?
hamil.lion: whats the use in lying to my datemates im honest that happened and we didnt hook up @ a twenty one pilots concert
jefferoni.macaroni: i would never even think abt kissing alex why would i he’s a memer i don’t kiss memers
loafayette: why are you insulting my culture
loafayette: i thought we were friends
hamil.lion: do u really wanna know
turt13.10v3r: yes
corsetz28: yes
loafayette: oui
jefferoni.macaroni: might as fucking well
hamil.lion: jeffergross and i maybe? actually? had a gr8 time?
comma.sexting: had a gr8 time fucking in the porta-potty?
turt13.10v3r: is that a euphemism??
hamil.lion: no it means we went to a concert together and i didnt want to punch him the whole time
jefferoni.macaroni: what’s wrong with bonding over electro-ukulele-emo-rap-screamo music?
hamil.lion: everything if its u
jefferoni.macaroni: wow i thought we were friends
hamil.lion: we’re not
corsetz28: aaAND DOCTOR GERCULES HAS CURED YET ANOTHER CASE OF STUPID GAY DRAMA! YAY!
jefferoni.macaroni: it was mostly john actually
hamil.lion: anyways now that we’ve proven that jeffersons not in love w/ me thats one of the two friends laf mentioned who was the other
loafayette: uhh
@loafayette has added @a.burr to the chat
loafayette: QUICK BURR LEAVE
a.burr: why
loafayette: JUST G O ALREADY
a.burr: i better get an explanation for this
@a.burr has left the chat