Chapter 20
Now the thing was, Alex, who could be so vicious and spiteful to persons who she didn’t like, was humorously non-confrontational; Which perhaps was the reason she seemed so indifferent on the whole topic of Tobin’s ex. In reality though, she was quite insecure about it and wanted nothing more than for Tobin to reassure her that she had nothing to worry about.
Logically speaking, Alex had no reason to be upset, technically her and Tobin weren’t anything aside from accidentally married and by tomorrow, Tobin would owe nothing more to her than a goodbye and a signature on their annulment papers, which had been secured in Alex’s briefcase the day they arrived home from Vegas.
“Only eighty-nine more days.” She smiled at Tobin.
“That’s probably the first time you’ve ever smiled at me, I feel so in love and invested in our marriage.” Tobin said, feigning admiration.
Alex reached into her briefcase which sat on the kitchen counter and pulled out a crisp manila folder, laying it flat out on the counter.
“When these three months are over, don’t pass go, don’t collect 200$, let me see your signature on these papers before I see you.”
Tobin didn’t have a sarcastic rebut, instead choosing to smile at Alex who had resumed working on her laptop.
“You’re cute when you pretend you don’t like me.”
**
Cringing at her memory, Alex is pulled out of the past as Tobin lets a groan of frustration fly from her lips, she had been stressing in the mirror for about ten minutes now, scolding herself over the erroneous way she had applied her eyeliner. It had looked fine in Alex’s opinion, but she wasn’t about to complain due to the way Tobin hunched over the mirror giving Alex a great view of her ass.
Anyways-, back to Alex being upset. Of course she wouldn’t let Tobin know her true feelings because letting Tobin know about Alex’s strong detest for Tobin’s ex would put Tobin in an even more uncomfortable position. She knows Tobin is trying, keyword trying not to hurt anyone’s feelings, whether it be Christen, Alex or maybe even her own; She tries desperately to make everyone happy, but Alex just wishes she would forget about her ex and move on.
But again, we’re speaking logistically and logistically speaking, there’s nothing wrong with Tobin dressing up to go on a date- a corporate dinner, with her ex fiancé, because technically speaking, they were nothing more than accidental wives, who are not really wives but really good friends who kiss each other and had sex on one occasion.
Yeah, Alex was pissed, or perhaps frustrated. It was safe to assume that she was currently dealing with a mixture of the two.
But of course she internalized all of this because:
- She was non-confrontational
- They were doing whatever it was they were doing at Tobin’s pace on Tobin’s terms and she wasn’t going to push anyone, let alone Tobin to be in a relationship with her. No matter how many times Tobin had given her that sickeningly in love look over the past few days – well, that’s what Alex thought it was anyway, she could be wrong.
So, being the thoughtful, patient, desperately in love, non-conflictual person Alex was, she happily helped Tobin pick out a lovely coral dress that matched her skin tone, the corresponding silver heels and suggested the diamond necklace-earring set which was given to Tobin by her grandmother, after all it reflected brilliantly in Tobin’s eyes.
**
“You look fine Tobs.” Alex offered, tired of watching someone so beautiful stress over their appearance in the mirror.
Tobin stopped to look at her then, startled by Alex’s voice
“You sure?” She questioned, “I’d hate to be an embarrassment.”
“Anybody would be lucky to have someone as beautiful as you as their date.” Alex said genuinely. Tobin was so effortlessly beautiful, and when she added make up, and paid extra attention to her hair, she was breathtaking.
Tobin blushed, before looking down bashfully. “Thanks”
“Come, sit.” Alex beckoned, patting on the spot next to her on the bed.
“This feels nice. Getting dressed is so hard.” Tobin mumbled, resting her head against the headboard.
Alex giggled, watching Tobin, who had her eyes closed and was sure to fall asleep soon if Alex didn’t keep on the conversation.
“Speaking of dates.” Tobin said, surprising Alex. “I want to take you out tomorrow … On a date. I mean, it’s your last day after all.”
Tobin sat up, searching Alex’s face for an answer. Noting Alex’s down trodden mood. “Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I don’t have to go out tonight. I could cancel, and we can spend these last few hours together.” Tobin suggested, placing a warm hand over Alex’s.
When their eyes met, Tobin could see the tears beginning to pool at the bottom of Alex’s eyes.
“Hey, no tears, you’re going to make me cry, and I already have on eyeliner.” Tobin joked, and Alex snorted, trying to rid her eyes of tears.
“no, no.” Alex started, sniffling, “Go out tonight, If I were her, I’d hate for you to cancel like that. We’ll have our time tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow? As in allllllllllllllllll, day?” Tobin asked, smile creeping onto her face.
“Allll day.” Alex drawled.
“I’m already excited.” Tobin smiles.
“I’m even more excited.
Promises of tomorrow did well to curb the indescribable feelings brewing in Alex’s chest. Tomorrow, Tobin and she would be going on a date, and that was all that mattered.
**
“SOS” Alex had texted to Kelley about 20 minutes after Tobin had left, being so courteously picked up by her ex. It made Alex roll her eyes, Tobin was her own woman. She could drive. Alex thought bitterly.
Kelley arrived at the Heath-Morgan residence in record time.
“What’s good brotato?”
“Never call me that again Kel.” Alex deadpanned.
“Someone’s a bit grumpy.” Kelley observed, plopping down in the space next to Alex who was pretending to be interested in chopped.
“Tobin went out with her stupid ex.” Alex grumbles, and Kelley laughs, mostly because Alex was acting like a five-year-old.
“Okay … Like on a date?”
“No, at least I hope not. It probably is to that sneaky little bit- “
“Hey! No need for name calling. What exactly did Tobin say?”
“She said that “Chris needs a last minute date to this corporate ball thing, and she asked if I could go. I felt bad so I said yes.” “
“That’s not too bad.” Kelley reasons.
“It wouldn’t be if she still didn’t like Tobin!” Alex whines, beyond frustrated.
“She does?”
“Totally, she’s trying her hardest to wiggle her way back in Tobin’s life and Tobin’s totally embracing it, although, I think Tobin just wants to be friends, but her … she’s up to no good.”
“Have you thought that maybe, Tobin is letting her back into her life because she misses her, and maybe she wants to be more than friends as well?” Kelley throws out there, pricking at Alex’s insecurities once again.
“Actually, I haven’t” Alex says. “I’d be so hurt if she actually got back together with her though. We’re doing so well.”
“All I’m saying is, you can’t assume anything Al. Not until you ask.”
This talk was changing her whole perspective on her relationship with Tobin. Maybe, Tobin just missed her ex and was channeling all those feelings into Alex, instead of being with her ex. She hoped that her assumptions were wrong, but the more she thought about it, the more it made sense.
“What if I asked? Like right now?”
“What, are you going to send her a text?”
“No, let’s drive to the ball, I’m gonna woo her.” Alex says, and Kelley thinks she’s joking, only the laugh doesn’t come and Alex looks to her expectantly.
“No fucking way Alex, life isn’t a movie! That shit only works in films.”
Alex lays back in defeat.
“If you get ready in 10, we can go to the laser tag place and ruin some 13-year old’s day though.”
“Okay, fineeee” Alex agrees, a bit upset that Kelley shot down her proposition.
**
At the ball, Tobin’s night was going relatively smooth.
Christen had picked her up on time, and they had a pleasant in car conversation about what would be happening the whole night.
“You look beautiful.” Christen sighed as Tobin had gotten settled in the car.
“Thanks, Chris. You look beautiful too.” Tobin said genuinely. “Friends say those things right?” She thought to herself. The last thing she wanted to do was lead Christen on, especially now that she had come to terms with her feelings for Alex.
“Okay so when we get there, it’s basically going to be dinner, and some of my family is going to be there and then my sister wants me to say something, and we’ll see what happens after that.”
“Sounds good.” Tobin says, feeling anxious about meeting Christen’s family again. They all loved her, but she didn’t want them to assume anything about the two being ... romantically involved again.
Somewhere between the parking lot and their table, Christen had placed a reassuring hand low on Tobin’s back. Tobin didn’t even realize it was there until one of Christen’s sisters pointed it out.
“You two look … comfortable.” She said, squinting those trademark eyes at the pair, gaze ultimately landing on Christen’s hand.
Christen blushed and so did Tobin, “old habits die hard I guess.” Christen says, trying to diffuse the awkwardness.
“It’s really nice to see you again Tobin.” She admits, pulling Tobin into a hug.
“It’s really nice to see you too.”
“You were always good for her.” She whispers and Tobin’s eyes go wide, before pulling away.
Tobin could do nothing but softly smile as she walked away, leaving Christen and her alone again.
“Sorry about her.” Christen said as she guided them towards their table.
“It’s fine, really.” Tobin said, not wanting Christen to feel guilty.
**
Aside from that one awkward encounter with Tobin’s sister, everyone else they ran into that night kept their thoughts and or comments to themselves. Opting instead to talk about how good it was to see Tobin, and how good she looked, and how they had missed her. It made Tobin indescribably happy to know these things and Christen, noting Tobin’s elated mood decided to say something about it.
“You look like you’re having fun.”
“I am, I didn’t know I’d see so much of your family, it seems like they really missed me.”
“Anyone with a good head on their shoulders would miss you. I know I did.” Christen says, forking at her steak.
Tobin looks up from her plate to Christen, “Did you really?” She asks, leaning in a bit closer feeling confident thanks to the seemingly endless supply of champagne.
Christen appears to be flustered for a second before replying, “yeah.”
“Me too, I guess” Tobin says as an afterthought, returning her focus back on her food.
**
The night ends quicker than it started Tobin thinks as she and Christen begin the journey back to Tobin’s. As expected, Tobin falls asleep half way through the car ride and Christen tries, but ultimately fails to not sneak a few glances at Tobin in her unconscious state.
Tonight made her feel like she felt when they had first began dating. Nervous, not only for what Tobin would think about their night, or what she wore, but nervous about her family too, and how they would react to seeing Tobin again, luckily for her, Tobin seemed to have enjoyed her night, laughing when someone made a joke and even getting in a few round on the dance floor. Her heart ached to see the smile that had been plastered on Tobin’s face for almost the whole night again.
“Tobs.” She says, lightly shaking Tobin awake.
“Hmmm.” She groans.
“You’re home.”
“Already? Walk me to the door please.” She asks, voice still thick with sleep. It was enduring how needy Tobin was when she was tired.
Perhaps it was the champagne, or the way Christen was so caught up in her feelings about Tobin, or the odd feeling of familiarity that had surrounded the two all night, maybe, it was just fate.
But one thing lead to another, one minute, Tobin was trying to open the door to her house and saying goodnight, and the next she was trapped between the wall on the side of the door and an eager Christen Press who kissed her with reckless abandon.
For a moment, Tobin had forgotten where she was and who she was with and melted into the kiss, body and mind reacting solely on habit and instinct, before her thoughts caught up with her and she remembered the past two years, and more importantly the past three months of her life.
“Chris.” She whispers, eyes still closed, hands on either side of Christen’s face, supplying enough space between her and Christen.
“I – I can’t.” Tobin admits, “I’m not … I don’t – I can’t be with you.”
“Why?” She asks, voice just above a whisper.
The sound of cars passing by momentarily breaks Tobin’s train of thought before she continues.
“It’s just – tonight, it was great, but, I’m over you. I don’t feel the same way I felt two years ago, I’m not the same person, we’re not the same people anymore.”
“Don’t say that.” Christen says, voice cracking.
“I’m sorry. Don’t be upset please. I know, there’s someone out there for you, whose right for you, it’s just not me.” Tobin finishes, placing a lasting kiss on Christen’s forehead.
“Goodnight Chris.” She says, closing the door behind her, symbolizing a new chapter in her life.
**
It was nearing 11 o’clock when Tobin began wondering where Alex was. She had sent an earlier text saying that she would be going out with Kelley, but that was around eight.
Dialing Alex’s number, it rang about four times before someone picked up, and it wasn’t Alex.
“Hello?”
“Tobin?” Kelley’s voice sounded on the other line. “Hold on Tobin.” Tobin could hear shuffling on the other side of the phone before, Kelley spoke again.
“You have some fucking nerve calling Alex’s phone after hooking up with your ex.” Kelley said, quietly, but her voice carried a tone of protective instinct never head by Tobin before.
“Woah, Kelley, what are you talking about? We went to the thing, but that was about it.” Tobin said confused.
“Don’t play dumb Tobin, we saw the little show you two put on on the porch.”
“Oh” Tobin said, stomach dropping, completely lost for words.
“Yeah, oh.”
“It wasn’t what it looked like.” Tobin tried, panic setting in.
“Look, I don’t care what it looked like, but I know what I saw, and I saw my best friend’s heart shatter into about a billion tiny little pieces because the girl she liked couldn’t say no to her ex. You’re an idiot Tobin. Please don’t call Alex again, she doesn’t need another person like you in her life again. Excuse me while I go and console my heartbroken best friend who is probably going to cry herself to sleep for the next three weeks because of you.” Kelley finished coldly.
“But, wait- “Before Tobin could even attempt to finish her sentence the line went dead, and she sat down on her bed, surrounded by white noise, and the walls of her house which felt eerily empty for the first time in three months, just like her heart.