Chapter 7
Bellamy ended up winning the game for the school and Clarke watched from the stands as people congratulated him and patted him on the back. People in the stands started to clear out but she and the rest of her friends always waited until the game was over to head to the after party, once most of the post-game traffic had cleared out. Sure, it made them late to the party but they never really went to hang out with the other people. They were there almost for reputational reasons, but if she was honest Clarke hated almost everyone that went to Murphy’s parties that she didn’t consider a friend.
“Are you guys going to the after party?” Monty asked, turning around on the bench to face Lexa and Lincoln. “It’s at Murphy’s place- not too far from here. We could probably walk if we had to.”
Lexa looked to her brother who shrugged his shoulders and gave the brunette a look that read “your choice”. She then turned to look at the rest of the group, almost hesitant to answer. Was it such a good idea to throw themselves into this group of friends so soon? What if something bad happened? She must of been lost in thought again because she felt Clarke’s hand on her knee, getting her attention.
“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to. There’s going to be quite a lot of people there- all the football team and cheerleading team is going. Since they go a lot more people show up with them.” The blonde explained, squeezing Lexa’s knee.
“How does John manage to hold that many people in his house?” She asked.
“It’s a really, really big house.”
Lincoln patted her other thigh to get her attention. “leksa, ai get a kind gon foto vibe kom disha idea.” [Lexa, I get a kind of bad vibe from this idea.]
Lexa raised an eyebrow. “Why? do yu nou trust em?” [Do you not trust them?]
Lincoln sighed and chewed his lip, glancing around at the people around them. “ai do trust emo kru.ai nou trust mofi's kru.” [I do trust these people. I do not trust Murphy’s people.]
“ai want kom go.will yu nou go kom me?” [I want to go. Will you not go with me?]
Lincoln saw the way people were looking at them and he sighed, but nodded. “ai will go kom yu, ba only gon ai nou want yu kom ge ona trouble kom out me der kom ge yu out gon em.” [I will go with you but only because I do not want you to get into trouble without me there to get you out of it.] His stoic expression turned into a smirk when he ended his statement and Lexa punched him lightly in the arm.
“Okay.. What the hell just happened?” Raven asked, speaking on behalf of the rest of the group’s confused expressions.
“Uh..” Lexa blushed, looking down at her lap.
“We have a language that we made up when we were little. It’s always stuck- kind of our own personal thing.” Lincoln explained for her, giving his sister a smile before his eyes averted to the bottom of the bleachers, where Bellamy was stepping onto the metal seats.
“Come on you hooligans- we’ve got a party to go to!” He shouted at them and they all started to stand.
Once standing, Clarke found herself contemplating what would happen if she took Lexa’s hand. She wanted to know what it was like to hold, to kiss, to feel her touch. It was a scary thought at first because she never really felt like that before. When she dated Finn, he called the shots. He was the one to always make the first move but that was because she thought that was how dating went. The guy would initiate the first kiss, or the hand holding, and everything in between; but that was also what became the downfall of their relationship in the end. Finn became controlling, and it got to the point where Clarke was giving things up for a guy she barely knew. It was a toxic relationship and she was glad to have gotten out of it. But now things were different. Now she felt like she was slowly starting to get to know Lexa, like she was doing things right. And she didn’t want to screw it up. Her eyes fell down to Lexa’s hand as they walked down the bleachers together and she decided against it, not wanting to mess anything up so soon.
Clarke had told both Lexa and Lincoln that she hadn’t planned on drinking that night so if they needed a ride, she’d be more than willing to drive them home afterwards, but Lexa had told her that they didn’t drink. Clarke found that little tidbit of information strange considering that they were all in high school and Lexa was willingly going to a high school party, but she respected their decision and didn’t push it any further.
Everyone piled into each other’s cars to head over to the party, but by the time they got there they were forced to park at least a block away because of all the people that had already shown up. Clarke could hear the music coming from Murphy’s house from the sidewalk and it was a surprise that he hadn’t gotten a noise complaint yet. Murphy always went all out when it came to his parties- from the variety of booze to the lack of variety of music- it usually ranged from top 40 to a mix of hip-hop and RnB. Why Clarke continued to come to these parties was beyond her- she never really liked that kind of music but she dealt with it nonetheless.
The party had only been going on for around a half hour but as the group walked into the house it would seem like it had been going on for a lot longer. Teenagers everywhere seemed to be testing their limits with alcohol and other substances and the smell alone made Clarke’s nose scrunch up. Her eyes scanned the first room, but she could barely see past the herd of dancing teenagers in the middle, all with cups in one hand and their bodies so close it’d be almost impossible to move past them. The blonde headed towards the kitchen after people-watching a moment, and wasn’t surprised to see the lack of drinks for those who weren’t consuming alcohol that night. She settled on a glass of Coke that was supposed to be used for the rum and cokes and leaned against the counter, watching as most of her friends started their night of getting hammered.
You would think that after doing this same routine every other weekend for a few years straight it would start to get tiring, but most of the time Clarke wasn’t sober. She’d drink along with her friends, play some games if she felt like it and almost always ended up passed out in the back of Bellamy’s truck by the time morning rolled around with a pounding headache and a feeling of death. Sure, the night before was always fun but waking up the next day wasn’t always worth it. She sipped from her cup and moved back into the main room, finding a spot on the couch that wasn’t occupied by some guy trying to get laid that night or stained by who knows what. It was Murphy’s house, after all.
A few hours later the party was definitely in full swing and Clarke was starting to regret actually coming to the party but not drinking. It wasn’t as fun sober, watching all of her friends laugh and have fun, but here she was, a few sodas in and she still hasn’t left that spot on the couch. People were still dancing and the music didn’t show any signs of letting up any time soon. She looked up from her phone for the first time in a while to see Octavia dancing with someone in the corner, but what surprised her was that it wasn’t Raven with her. Octavia seemed to be up against Lincoln in the cover of the shadows. Clarke looked around the room for any sign of Octavia’s other half but to no surprise, the brunette was nowhere in sight. She tucked her bottom lip between her teeth and stood up, beginning to walk around the house to find her friend.
She didn’t even bother going to look upstairs because nobody went upstairs at Murphy’s parties unless they were hooking up, and Clarke knew that Raven wouldn’t do that to Octavia. The house was huge but Clarke knew the boundaries for every party, and when she didn’t see Raven in any of the rooms (or a few of her other friends, for that matter) she turned towards the back door and headed outside. Immediately she was met with the smell of weed wafting through the air and mixing with the lingering stench of alcohol and chlorine coming from the pool. Shaking her head she walked further out in the backyard, ignoring those who decided that skinny dipping was a good idea and purposely kept away from the pool just in case some idiot thought it’d be a good idea to push her in.
She ended up walking all the way towards the fire pit near the back of Murphy’s backyard where a fire had been crackling easily. The closer she got to it the less weed she smelled and the more campfire smoke hit her, which she appreciated greatly. There were a few people sitting around the firepit, but they all seemed to be minding their own business so Clarke didn’t pay them any attention. She saw Raven sitting there alone, a beer in her hands but seemed to be forgotten about as the brunette stared at the crackling flames. Clarke sat down next to her with her cup in hand, waiting to see if Raven acknowledged her before she tapped her friends shoulder.
“What’re you doing out here all alone?” Clarke asked, giving a small smile.
“Ignoring the fact that my girlfriend would rather grind up against Mr. Dark and Mysterious then even talk to me.” Raven mumbled, not looking away from the fire as she took a swig of her beer.
“I wasn’t sure if you saw that or not.”
“It’s kind of hard not to.” Raven’s voice sounded like liquid venom, like she was trying to poison anyone she spoke to. It scared Clarke, hearing her usually bubbly friend talk like this. Raven really loved Octavia. “You don’t think she’s going to hook up with him, do you?”
Clarke looked down at her almost empty cup. “I don’t think she’d do that. You’re going home with her tonight, remember?”
“Like that’ll stop her.”
“You’ve gotta look at the positives, Ray.”
“What positives? Every time Lincoln comes within twenty feet of her it’s like I’m nothing! I’m losing her to some guy with tattoos who smokes cigarettes and acts like he the brother of Edward Cullen- all tall, dark and broody. How am I supposed to compete with that, Clarke?” Raven asked, turning towards the blonde. She had tears in her eyes and Clarke could tell that she was shaking. She had thrown her almost-empty bottle of beer on the ground, cracking the glass as she let out her frustrations.
Clarke sighed and reached for Raven’s hand. “I think you need to talk to her once you’re both sober, Raven. Okay?”
Raven looked hurt, but nodded. They sat in silence by the fire, allowing Raven to slowly start to sober up after Clarke offered her her soda so she wasn’t continuously drinking alcohol. The silence of the night was starting to catch up to them until they heard the back door open roughly over the sound of splashing and people laughing.
“Leave me alone, Murphy!”
Clarke immediately stood, turning towards what was happening. She saw Lexa walk out of the house with a cup in her hand and Murphy following quickly after her. She was already on her way to step in when she saw Murphy grab Lexa’s shoulder, pulling her back.
“Come on, Lex- We gotta kiss anyways, why not get our first one over with? Maybe have a little fun?” Murphy smirked, his hand moving to her side.
As Clarke got closer she saw as Lexa slapped the boy across the face, causing him to stumble back. She was at the edge of the pool and was about to run to the other side but it seemed like time was frozen.
“You bitch-”
A fist was thrown.
A splash- a body in the pool.
A scream.
By the time Clarke finally made it over to Lexa the brunette had stumbled backwards and her clothes had water on them from the splash and Clarke had to help her up. The music had stopped inside as people started to trickle out of the house to see what the commotion was all about, but Clarke was having none of it.
“Parties over. If you’re not crashing here tonight, go home.” Clarke announced, helping Lexa up but it seemed to be no use. The brunette had gotten soaked. Clarke sighed and shook her head, looking to the pool where Murphy was being helped out by Wells. She looked to the ground in front of Lexa and saw Lincoln on his knees, obviously drunk.
“I thought you guys didn’t like drinking.” Clarke mumbled, glancing at Lexa. The look on the girl’s face sent a shiver through Clarke’s spine. If looks could kill, Lincoln would be dead.
“We don’t.”
“Well, I’m glad I borrowed my mom’s car.” The blonde sighed and tried her hardest to pull Lincoln up. “I’ll take you guys home. I’ll come by tomorrow morning in Bell’s truck and pick up his bike.”
Lexa shook her head. “I can’t bring him home like this. Mom will kill us both.” Lexa huffed, grabbing her brother’s hand to check for any bad injuries.
Clarke thought about it for a moment then turned to her friend. “You guys can stay at mine. I’ll let my mom know- she’ll be understanding.”
“You don’t have to do that-”
“Lexa, please. I don’t want you guys to get in trouble. Just text your mom or something, say that you’re staying the night at a friends house or something because it was easier than driving all the way home.”
Lexa looked at her brother then nodded. “Alright.”
Clarke smiled at Lexa and told her what car was Clarke’s, then the blonde went on to find the friends that she’d be taking home. Once she found both Raven and Octavia she helped them to her mom’s car, where Lincoln was already in the backseat and Lexa was in the passengers. She watched as Raven purposely put herself between Octavia and Lincoln, who both seemed to be confused and in the same state of drunkenness. The ride home was silent, aside from the occasional giggle from Octavia who seemed to be in her own little world as if nothing was wrong. Clarke shook her head and focused on the road, with the occasional glance over at Lexa to make sure her she was okay. Lexa didn’t seem drunk- she seemed as sober as Clarke was. It was good to know that she wasn’t the only one who wasn’t getting hammered at the party.
Once they got to Clarke’s, Raven took the responsibility of making sure Octavia got inside safely and Clarke thanked her for that. She told Lexa she’d be right back as she ran inside, hoping to catch her mom before she went to bed. She was lucky. As she unlocked the door and headed inside she saw Abby in the living room with a single light on, her glasses on her face and a book in her hands. She let out a sigh of relief and stepped forward, a guilty look on her face. When Abby looked up at her, the older woman rolled her eyes.
“What did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything, but.. My friend’s brother kinda got.. Really wasted and well, my friend can’t go home with him because their mom will get mad at them.. Can they crash here tonight?” Clarke asked, fiddling with her hands.
Abby thought about it for a moment. “Clarke..”
“Please mom? They’re new here and I don’t want them to get in trouble because they decided to go out and have fun at a party.”
“Okay, alright. But I’m going to bed. So be quiet.” Abby stated, standing up and heading upstairs.
Clarke did a small fist pump then ran outside to help Lexa with Lincoln. They got him situated in the guest room with the door open, and Clarke even thought ahead to make small signs pointing to the bathroom for him and taped them to the wall in the hallway. From there Lexa followed Clarke into the blonde’s room, where Clarke went to her dresser, searching for things for them to wear to bed.
“You can wear these,” Clarke started, pulling out a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. “And the bathroom is through that door.” She pointed to the door that was closed next to her dresser. “I’ll probably crash on the couch downstairs, so if you need anything..” She trailed off, shrugging and grabbing a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt for herself to sleep in.
“Why would you go downstairs?”
“I just figured..”
“We’re both girls, we can sleep in the same room, Clarke.” Lexa smiled softly, grabbing the clothes that Clarke had offered her. “I don’t see anything wrong with it.”
Clarke’s heart jumped in her chest as she nodded, swallowing after. “Yeah, uh, okay. Alright, I’ll sleep in here tonight, then. But I’m going to get changed in the hallway bathroom- can’t have you sneaking a peek, can we?” She joked, earning an amused raised brow from Lexa.
“Alright, you do that.”
Clarke watched as Lexa walked into her bathroom and she facepalmed at herself for being so ridiculous. It was just Lexa, it shouldn’t be that big of a deal. Only Lexa, who had been invading Clarke’s thoughts for the past few weeks since she met the girl. Only Lexa.
She shook her head and went to get changed in the hall bathroom, and by the time she came back Lexa was laying on her bed, her phone in her hands as she mindlessly scrolled through what Clarke could only assume was either Twitter or Tumblr. She had a hand behind her head and her hair was up in a loose, messy bun- and Clarke had to double check to make sure she was breathing. She shut the door behind her and chewed her lip, stepping closer to her bed and sitting on the side opposite of Lexa.
They sat in silence for what felt like hours but when Clarke looked at the clock again, it read 1:36 am, only five minutes after the last time she looked at it. She didn’t feel tired at all, but she couldn’t read what Lexa was thinking. She found herself staring at the brunette, wondering what the other girl was thinking. Was she tired? Was she indulging on an e-book, forgetting the world around her? She shook her head and went to turn out the light, when Lexa’s voice from behind her stopped her.
“Do you ever wish that you could change the past?”
Clarke furrowed her brow and turned towards Lexa. “What do you mean?”
“Do you ever wish that you could change the past? Like.. Go back in time, change something that happened and hope that the outcome is the same.”
Clarke hummed. She really did wish that she could do that. “Yeah, I do.”
Lexa sat up and placed her phone in her lap, wrapping her arms around herself. She sighed and chewed on her lip, zoning out in thought. As Clarke watched her, she felt like she should do something to help in some way. Lexa looked so vulnerable; so afraid. The anger that she had expressed towards Lincoln earlier that night had dissipated and in it’s place was a look of regret. Clarke hated seeing that expression. She stood up from her bed and walked over to her closet, grabbing two sweatshirts and tossing one to Lexa, who snapped out of thought at the sweatshirt landing in her lap.
“What’re you doing?”
“Come on.. I wanna take you someplace.”
Lexa nodded and slid on the sweatshirt, then followed Clarke out of her room and down the stairs. She was unsure of where they were going, but as Clarke led them out the front door and carefully locked and closed it behind them, she could only assume that they would be leaving the house entirely.
“Where are we going?”
“Just follow me, okay? I promise I’m not some psycho killer planning to murder you.”
“I know you wouldn’t do that.. I trust you, Clarke.”
Clarke looked back at Lexa and smiled at her, then nodded towards the direction that they were walking in. It seemed like they were walking in the opposite direction of the school, more towards the downtown area but it was way too late to be going to any shops or anything and neither of them were dressed for the occasion. But Lexa followed nonetheless, despite the fact that she was skeptical when they turned down a road that seemed to be deserted. The road looked like it hadn’t been taken care of in years, if the way that the weeds were growing through cracks in the ground were any indication, and it seemed like it went on forever.
“This road stopped being occupied a few years ago; when the last people who lived on it moved away the city stopped caring for it and that’s how it’s ended up like this.” Clarke explained, her voice just above a whisper. “Nobody really comes down here.. Well, nobody but me.”
Lexa nodded and fell into step with Clarke as they walked down the abandoned road. Everything was silent aside from their footsteps on the gravel below and a few crickets chirping from the tall grass on either side of the road. The brunette was curious as to where they were going- especially since it seemed like Clarke could walk this path with her eyes closed (which they might as well be considering the street lights had all blown out and the blonde didn’t have a flashlight with her that Lexa knew of). They walked until they reached the end of the road and Lexa almost questioned where they were going but Clarke walked into the tall grass, and Lexa had to follow her.
They had stepped only a few feet into the tall grass when Lexa saw what she assumed was what Clarke was taking her to. She was surprised she didn’t see it from the road, but the trees created a shadow that made everything darker, even in the gentle glow of the moonlight. She followed Clarke’s footsteps closer to the location, jumping slightly at the change from footsteps on grass to footsteps on cement.
When they finally entered the building she couldn’t help but turn on her flashlight, but Clarke shook her head. Against her better judgement Lexa turned it off and placed a hand on Clarke’s shoulder to allow the blonde to guide her through the area.
“I’m starting to rethink this psycho killer idea, Clarke..” Lexa mumbled, earning a chuckle from the blonde.
“It’s okay, Lexa.. We’re here.”
Lexa furrowed her brow and stepped back to look around, seeing only darkness until she heard the flick of a lighter and turned to see Clarke lighting a few candles around the room. Once a light glow took over Clarke sat on the desk in the middle of the room and Lexa looked around, taking in dusty images on the walls and various signs here and there. She turned back to the blonde in the center, a look of confusion on her face.
“Welcome to Griffin’s Car Shop, Lexa. Welcome to my safe haven.”