Chapter 3
[5:36 pm] Tori: You coming tonight? :)
[5:40 pm] You: idk
[5:40 pm] Tori: I can pick u up if u want? I have to pick up cat anyway :)
[5:42 pm] You: okay I'll come
[5:42 pm] You: when?
[5:43 pm] Tori: 🥳🥳 6:30
I still didn't know if this was a good idea, but it was better than sitting alone at home rotting my brain away on my phone. Thinking about it, I probably should have said no to letting tori drive me, since that would mean I couldn't just leave whenever I wanted. Oh well.
I picked out something to wear and did some minor touch ups to my makeup. Just as I finished, tori texted me to let me know they were outside. I grabbed my jacket and went out to Toris car and she started driving me and cat to Nozu's.
André, beck and Robbie waved us over to their table when we arrived and we started walking towards them. That's when I saw an another person with them, Jade. I knew she was going to be here, but a small part of me hoped she wouldn't be, just so I could relax. She turned towards me with a grin on her face.
"Well, well... Look who couldn't stay away after all?" She raised an eyebrow, not letting her smile drop as her eyes met mine. I just shook my head and looked away, not wanting to give her the satisfaction of knowing she was one, getting to me and two, right. I in fact could not stay away, but I was going to try my best to.
I let cat and tori sit down in the booth before me, making both of them sit between me and Jade. Everyone ordered food and talked while we waited.
"Alex? Oh my god, hi!" A blond girl stopped next to me.
"Emily! Hi, how are you?" I stood up and gave her a hug.
"Good. I haven't seen you since I moved, what are you doing here?" She asked letting go of the hug. Emily's my ex and close friend. We had been friends for a long time before we dated, that's when her parents decided to move to LA. That was two years ago, and we hadn't seen each other since. We decided to end our relationship when she found out she was moving, because neither of us wanted a long distance relationship. It was sad, but at the same time good since there was no fighting or anything that ended it. But it did bring me down for quite some time after. A year later my parents split up (finally) and my mom got a job in LA, and that's when we moved. At that time, mine and Emily's contact had kind of faded so I never really told her. I hadn't seen her once during my year of living here, so I never really thought about reaching out.
"Well, I live here and I'm here with my friends from school" I gestured to the group sitting at the table and introduced everyone.
".. And André. Everyone, Emily. Emily, everyone" I said gesturing between the table and her.
She waved to everyone and then turned to me again. "When? And what school?" She looked and sounded both shocked and happy as she spoke to me.
"Almost a year ago, like ten months i think? We all go to Hollywood Arts" I answered, starting to feel a little guilty for not reaching out to her earlier.
"Dude! That's great, I'm so happy for you" she grabbed my arm as she said it and looked at me sincerely. I smiled back at her and thanked her.
"You seeing anyone?" She looked at me with a mischievous expression and glanced quickly towards Jade, who started to look really annoyed and shooting daggers with her eyes towards Emily. I rolled my eyes and let out a sigh before I spoke "no, I'm not". I felt a little hurt saying it but I quickly shook it off. "You?" I looked up at her and smiled. She laughed a little before answering "Ha! I wish". She then tucked her blond hair behind her ear before speaking again "well, it was really nice to see you again Alex, honestly, but i have to get back to my friends before they think I'm kidnapped. Text me, I know you have my number!" She gave me a hug before telling everyone "bye!" and walking away.
I sat back down again and André looked at me raising his eyebrows in curiosity "soo, who's that?"
"An old friend " I answered smiling at him, trying to avoid everyone's looks.
"Just a friend?" Tori added hinting at there being more to the story.
"We might have dated for a while, but that was two years ago. Besides we've been mostly friends, we've known each other since like second grade" I stated taking a bite of my sushi.
"Dated??" Jade asked raising an eyebrow and I just gave her look, not answering her.
"And she just saw you and walked up to you, asking if you're 'seeing anyone'?" She continued.
"She just wanted to know about my life, Jade". I answered her calmly. "And what, are people not allowed to ask me if I'm dating anyone?" I looked straight at her now, a part of me intrigued to what her answer would be.
"Not like that!" Jade gestured with her hand towards where Emily had been standing. "Okey" beck said grabbing Jades shoulder to calm her down. "Anyone want something to drink? I was gonna order some" he continued.
I gave him a thanking look and he returned it. Everyone answered with orders so André and Robbie got up to help him carry it back to our table.
"Emily's really pretty" Cat said out of nowhere and Jade looked like she was going to kill her.
"Yes she is" I answered cat and then continued to talk to Tori, not wanting it to lead to a scene.
After everyone had eaten and the drinks were empty, Tori asked if we wanted to come to her place. Trina was home but her parents were not, so we all agreed.
---
At Toris we decided to just hang out, listen to music and have a few drinks. Jade was sitting on the couch opposite to me, whispering with Beck. I thanked myself for a second for not giving in, after all they were going to end up back together again.
"Don't tell me what to do!" Jade leaned away from Beck, who clearly hit a nerve with something he said.
"I'm not. I'm giving you advice." Beck responded calmly.
"And who said I wanted any?" Jade got up from the couch and walked over to me, still a little mad from her conversation with Beck.
"Hey." She said and sat down next to me without looking at me.
"Well hello to you too, sunshine" I answered sarcastically and she just frowned back at me.
"So.. Have you texted her yet?" Jade asked as she took a sip from her drink.
"No, you want me to?" A part of me was kind of hoping she'd say no to that question. But you shouldn't ask questions you don't want the answer to. Jade just shrugged.
"Or maybe it's you who wants to text her?" I poked her arm and she snapped to look at me, thinking for a moment before a smirk appeared as she responded "Maybe it is".
I got a mix of emotions from that response. Did she really not like me at all? Was she really over Beck or did she just need someone else for a while until she realised she wanted him? Either way, I wasn't doing that to Emily.
"Too bad" I said and downed the last of my drink and got up to get another.
As I was standing in the kitchen and mixing my drink, Jade walked up next to me.
"I'm messing with you, okay? I don't want her number, you can do whatever with it." I just looked at her, not getting where this sudden change came from.
"Okay..?" I just stood there, not knowing what she wanted from me at this point.
"What's with the attitude from you anyway?" She asked, furrowing her brows as she looked at me.
"I have no clue what you're talking about" as if I hadn't just been dragged to the janitors closet by her for this very reason.
"Lying really isn't a good look on you, and you're not very good at it" she tilted her head as she said it.
"It's nothing, I just don't want to talk about it with you" I grabbed my drink from the table and turned to walk away from her, but she grabbed my arm and placed herself in front of me.
"What happened to you telling me everything?" This was almost true. I did tell her almost everything, and she did with me as well. If I had to guess, no one in our friend group knew me as well as she did. So how could she not realise that I had feelings for her that I was doing everything I could not to feel, and she was making that really difficult. I looked away from her and letting my arms fall to my sides in defeat.
"Do you not want to be friends with me anymore? If that's the case just say it at this point, instead of acting like a child and avoiding me and rolling your eyes at me". She looked at me with a stern look and everything about her said she was angry and annoyed, except her eyes. I could tell she was actually hurt, and it was because of how I'd been acting.
"That's not the case, I promise. Just.. I don't know what tell you, just let it go. I'm sorry". I was calmer now, less annoyed and I did start to feel bad for how I handled the whole situation.
"Oh honey, I don't ever let things go. Might as well rip the bandaid off". She still didn't move out of my way, forcing me to confront her. I could feel my heart beating faster as the panic started to creep up on me.
"Jade I swear, it's not the way you think it is. I've been a bag of shit for a friend to you these past few days, I know that. And I'm sorry. And it's because of me, okay?" I could feel my chest tightening, not wanting to tell her how much I wanted to be with her. That I wasn't avoiding all of our conversations and interaction because I didn't like her, it's because I do. But I couldn't risk destroying our friendship and losing her as my friend over something so stupid as me not getting over myself. I couldn't lose her as a friend.
She squinted her eyes knowing there was something I was avoiding. "Oh so you just woke up one morning and decided you couldn't be around me anymore?" She said with the same expression as before, starting to sound more angry now. I knew this could happen, I knew Jade. I knew she didn't like people. At the same time she was terrified of the people she cared about changing their mind and leaving her. How was I ever supposed to explain my actions to her without ruining everything? My mind was spiralling so fast I didn't even hear what she said. I turned away from her, from everyone, trying to calm myself down but nothing helped. That's when Jade noticed something was off. She put our drinks down on the table and forced me out through the back door in the kitchen. She put my back against the brick wall and held her hands on my shoulders.
"Hey. Hey! Alex!" I didn't look at her and just tried to slow down my breathing, trying my hardest not to cry.
"What's going on? Alex? Hey, look at me" she continued, worry written all over her. I took a deep breath, not knowing what I was going to tell her. "Can we just let it go?" I said trying not to let the lump in my throat escape.
"I'm really sorry Jade, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fuck everything up" she cut me off by hugging me and I could feel tears escaping as she did so. "You didn't." She whispered in my ear before letting me go. She put her hands on my cheeks and wiped away my tears with her thumbs. "You wanna leave?" She asked and I nodded, a little smile forming on my lips.
Jade opened the door and walked in and grabbed her stuff. "We're leaving!" She shouted as she walked towards the door, leaving no room for questions. I laughed a little and waved goodbye to everyone, giving Tori a hug before leaving with Jade.