Chapter 2
It was lunch and I was sitting with André, tori, cat and robbie. Beck was there too, and because of that, jade was not. They had broken up (again) a few days earlier. Usually when they did, me and jade started hanging out more, but this time I couldn't do it anymore.
I've always had feelings for jade, and I never told anyone, especially not her, lol, I'm not insane. But having feelings for one of your closest friends and watching them in the arms of someone else every day, isn't the best. I did date other people but it didn't work out, and honestly everyone else seemed so boring in comparison to her.
There had been moments, usually when beck and jade were broken up, that had made me question if she really didn't know how I felt.
—Exhibit 1—
I was new to the school, I had only been there for about 3 months but Tori had introduced me to everyone on my first day, and we got to know each other pretty well. Anyway, jade broke up with beck because she was sick of him always wanting to "play nice" with every single girl to ever exist on this earth and never saying he had a girlfriend when they started flirting with him. I couldn't blame her for this honestly. But he thought she was being unfair and so it goes.
Me and jade had started to hang out outside of the group and after their breakup it happened more often. I didn't feel like going home and doing nothing, so I texted Jade during class
[01:47 pm] you: plans after school?
[01:51 pm] Jade ✂️:no, I'll wait for you after school
[01:51 pm] Jade ✂️:my place.
[01:53 pm] you: see u then
And it was a little weird. She can be "bossy", sure, but this felt different. I felt my heart beating a little faster and I had to snap myself out of it. She didn't mean it like that, did she? No, I knew better.
School ended, and I went to the parking lot to see jade waiting for me. She had a smirk on her face and gestured for me to get in, and I did.
"Hi?" I said, questioning her mood.
"Hi" she said, still smirking and started driving to her house. I just shook my head and laughed a little, wondering what she was up to. During the drive we just listened to music and didn't talk much.
"No one's home, and no one will come home either so don't be awkward" she said opening the door. I put a hand on my chest and faked being offended at the comment "me? Oh I would never!" She just rolled her eyes and threw her bag on the floor.
"No but really Jade, where is everyone?" I asked as I sat down next to her on the couch.
"My stepmom took my brother to see her family in the middle of nowhere and dad, well, he's never home so who knows. Work I guess". She said not seeming to care that they just up and left her. I just looked at her but didn't push it. "Movie?" She asked.
"Sure, but I'm not watching the scissoring AGAIN, pick something else or I'm walking out" I said pointing a finger at her and she responded with the same fake offense I had just given her moments earlier. "Fine, orphan?" I agreed and we started watching the movie, not saying much.
After a while jade got up and headed into the kitchen "you hungry?"
"Maybe a little" I said and got up and followed her. I hopped up on the kitchen counter watching her look for something to eat. I was sitting right behind her when she turned around, now standing between my legs.
"so, what do you want?" She said in a low tone with her hips touching my legs.
I just looked at her, and she smirked, laying a hand on my thigh and turning back around to close the fridge. "Well?" She said, turning around to look at me again. I looked down, to not show the redness I could feel creeping up on my face "I'll just have what you're having". She smiled to herself and shook her head and started making two sandwiches. We then went back to the couch and continued watching the movie while I just tried to ignore the warm feeling in my chest from her touch.
When the movie ended, I could tell her mind was elsewhere. I sat up and turned to her "where did you go?". She turned to me and shook her head "nowhere, don't worry about it".
"You're worth better, more, I know you know that".
"Yeah?" She questioned, meeting my gaze.
"Yes, jade."
She cupped my face and stroke my cheek gently with her thumb "you're sweet" she said, almost like she felt sorry for me. I rolled my eyes and smiled while pushing her arm away and she laughed.
—Exhibit 2–
Beck and jade had gotten back together this time, and everyone decided to spend the evening at the beach. Everyone was having a good time and Beck and Jade only argued like, twice. Tori kept begging everyone to go down to the water and eventually most of us gave in. I decided to stay back and sat by the stairs that went from the parking lot down to the beach. I wasn't sad or anything like that, just caught in my own thoughts, and in need of some silence after hearing all of them talking on top of each other for 2 hours straight.
Jade went down too, but didn't go in. I saw her look back at me and then she started to walk towards me. She didn't say anything and neither did I. She then sat down on the step below me between my legs, leaning her back on my chest. She took my hand and squeezed it once to ask if I was okay. I always felt like she saw me and understood me, even if I didn't say anything.
"Yes, I'm good" I said and smiled. She looked up at me and smiled back, then turned again to watch our friends (and her boyfriend) down by the water. She took my arms and wrapped them around herself and I let her. I felt a warmth and a hurt at the same time in my chest. Hating myself for letting myself be close to her and feel the way I do for her, knowing she'd never feel the same way about me. At the same time, wanting nothing more than to be this close to her. Jade hated people touching her and being close to her, however, I never experienced that with her, not that I'm complaining. We sat like that until the others started walking back up from the water.
—Exhibit 3—
After a few days of awkwardness within the group ,mostly because of jades rude (but funny and true) comments, after beck and jades break up, Tori decided to have a party in hopes of lightning the mood with some alcohol. Everyone else agreed to it and we all met up at her place that Friday.
At the party, Jade kept intentionally sitting close to me. I tried not to show any reaction to it, but it was not easy. Her outfit outlined figure and the way she holds herself, not taking shit from no one, she's difficult to ignore. But she didn't give her actions (or me) any attention but still kept her body constantly pressed next to mine.
At one point I went outside to get some air and to get some distance from Jade and take my mind off her. Not long after Jade walked up to me with a serious and determined look "why are you never scared of me?". She wasn't wrong , I never took her threats for anything more than that, threats, and never gave in to them. The rest of our friend group, and the whole school for that matter, did take it all very seriously. I knew she could be mean, and I'd seen it myself, but she never did anything to me, so she never gave me a real reason to be scared of her.
"What?" I laughed not really understanding what this was coming from. "Should I be?"
"I don't know. Are you?" She said still looking very serious and crossing her arms across her chest.
"No" I said, still taken aback by how seriously she took this conversation.
She smirked and let her arms fall to her sides. "And now?" She stepped closer to me leaving only inches between us. I hitched my breath with what I can only assume was a look of surprise and shock written all over me. I looked down, not knowing what to say. She then grabbed my chin forcing me to meet her eyes.
"you really shouldn't ignore me when I ask you a question"
I could feel my heart beating faster and I started to panic trying to find my voice. Her grip tightened to get me to answer her.
"No, not scared." I said with a lot less confidence than intended. She smirked at that, no doubt noticing what her actions did to me, and stepped even closer. She leaned in closer and whispered in my ear "we'll see" and then let me go and walked back in. I downed my drink after that because what the actual fuck is that supposed to mean?
When I got back inside more people from school had showed up and beck was talking to some random girl on the couch. I saw Jade looking at them, feeling confused out of my mind from what just happened and also for caring if she cared what he did.
I walked over to the kitchen to get another drink when Jade grabbed my wrist and pulled me toward her. "What th-"
"Shut up" and I did. We stood there and she tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and placed her other hand on my hip. She looked at me and then behind me, then back at me again. That's when I realized she was using me to get beck jealous. I looked back and saw him looking at us. "I'm getting a drink, you want one?" I asked Jade. She shook her head and with that I left her, and did my best to avoid her the rest of the night.
—Now—
And now, here we are. Them broken up again and after last time at Tori's, I decided to distance myself from Jade. Not ignoring her or anything, but I was not signing up to be her bate of jealousy towards beck.
"Hey, Alex, have you seen Jade?" Tori asked me. "No," I answered, not looking up from my salad.
And speak of the devil, I heard someone behind me.
"Stand up" Jade demanded, looking at me.
"I'm eating Jade, what is it?" I said as I turn to look at her.
"So? It's not like the salad's going to grow legs and run away from you? Stand up."
"Fine." I rolled my eyes and got up. She grabbed my wrist and started to drag me into school towards the janitor's closet. She pulled me inside and locked the door behind us.
"Speak." She demanded, crossing her arms.
"What? I'm not a dog, Jade" I looked at her confused wondering what the fuck she wanted me to speak about.
"You're ignoring me. So, speak, tell me why."
"Jade, I'm not ignoring you? I literally texted you yesterday"
"Yes, to tell me you're not coming to Nozus today!? You change seats in class, you always sit away from me, AND you only text me to tell me no!"
I honestly didn't think she'd care this much, but yes, everything she was saying was true. And I did say I wasn't going to Nozu's because I don't want a repeat of her being all close and make me feel things I shouldn't be feeling for a friend.
"Look I'm sorry, I've just had a lot on my mind, and I guess you've had too with the break up and all." She looked at me with concern and confusion.
"I don't care about him. Is something going on?" She was calmer now, but still demanding answers. Jade was never known for having good patience, in any situation.
"No, everything's fine, I just needed some time alone that's all". I could tell she didn't believe me, but she didn't push it either. And honestly I was starting to become a little fed up with this, since she clearly knew how I felt about her, or she wouldn't do the things she did.
"And yes you do Jade, you always fucking do. You care where is and who he is with. Can I go finish my lunch now?"
"I don't, not anymore, but whatever" she said like she didn't care and backed away. I just shook my head and turned around to unlock the door and went back to my lunch.
"What did she want?" Beck asked me when I sat back down.
"Nothing" I gave him a look that said to not push it any further.
"If you say so.." He said with a smug smile and shook his head like he knew more than he let on. I gave him a look of annoyance and confusion and he just put his hands up in surrender. I actually had nothing against Beck as a friend, he's a great friend, but he's a shit boyfriend. But him in the middle of whatever this thing with Jade is turning into, did not help. I kept poking around in my salad, not really having any appetite left after my interaction with Jade, when Tori broke me out of my thoughts.
"Alex, are you coming to Nozu's tonight?"
"No, I don't think so" I said, feeling a little uncomfortable since I didn't really have a good excuse to explain why not.
"C'mon It'll be fun" André said, poking my shoulder. I just shook my head and looked down with a small smile.
"What? you got something better than hanging out with your best friends in the whole world?" Beck said sarcastically and I rolled my eyes at him "I see you guys everyday, no matter if I want to or not".
"pleeeaasssee" Tori said putting her hands together.
"Jesus Christ are you guys annoying, fine, I'll try. No promises!" I said, pointing to all of them as I grabbed my bag and headed back in for class.